Spontaneous Musings

Happy First Annual International Buffy Day!!

2026-04-15T02:04:00Z

Decided to celebrate with a rewatch of The Prom, and a bit of a listen to Once More With Feeling.

Link to an insane amount of meta on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

(There may be some fic in there?

And a dialogue drabble :

( Pesky television characters - they never do what you want them to... )

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A03 memage

2025-11-07T02:23:57Z

Go to your Works page on AO3, look at the tags, and see what the answers to these questions are. (Or any other site that has tags, I don’t know if FFnet or Wattpad does)

I'm [archiveofourown.org profile]shadowkat67 on AO3. (Most of my stuff is meta, essay, or analysis, with a couple of fics. All of the fics are in the Buffy and Angel fandom.)
( Read more... )

My only true interaction with fandom was the Buffy/Angel fandom. I do discuss shows in other fandoms, but I don't do anything more than discuss and speculate on spoilers.

As an aside? I rarely read or respond to the comments on Ao3 (because they pissed me off a few years back when they insisted I remove over 100 works or they'd suspend my account indefinitely). But I decided to do it tonight, and read one in Spanish and actually understood it? Have I picked up the language by osmosis? I can't speak it or necessarily understand verbal Spanish? But maybe I do? I hear it, and about 100 other languages daily.

Either that or there are a lot of similar English words in Spanish. Possibly. Often it's just the gist I get, and that's enough. But maybe I will take Spanish on Duolingo.

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Tuesday blunders on...with a cherry aspect, cookies help

2025-10-08T01:43:15Z

So, the side-effect of listening to Landau's podcasts, and seeing her independent film is...I've developed a major gurl-crush on Juliette Landau. I tend to develop crushes on cult television/movie and theater character actors who aren't in that much? Not enough of one to pay for her podcast, I'm willing to do it for free though. She's adorable - she loves theater, is detailed on theater, film, music, and the craft. And an excellent interviewer - she's better than the guy who did Inside the Actor's Studio.

(Previous gurl-crushes include Claudia Black, Carrie Fisher, Angela Basset, Katee Sackoff...)

Oh well it's fitting, she's the other side of Spike/James Marsters - which is my other Buffy actor crush. Along with Anthony Stewart Head. I do wish I'd get crushes on people with lots of content available - and good content available. I've watched a lot of bad television and films because of actor crushes. Note to self - do not follow actors, follow directors and writers (although they aren't that reliable either, sorry to say - so just whatever looks appealing and has been rec'd by folks I trust?)

***

AHM told me to try "Telecharge" Lottery - to get discounted Broadway Theater tickets. Kyoto is on it. Just in Time isn't - so that's kind of out. Any of the Big Ticket Tourist Shows are out. Which is a shame - I really want to see Chess - I didn't know the score was ABBA and Tim Rice. (I'm a shameless ABBA fan - I had their music on 8 track in the 1970s and 80s). But alas, Big Ticket Tourist item - with rates between $440-$1K. Way outside my price range.

***

After I took my fifteen to twenty minute walk down the pier and around the tiny historic housing district, I went to Insomina Cookies to snag my Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip cookies - freshly baked, warm, with melt in your mouth chocolate. I've going there almost every weekday for a while now - the counter folks are getting to know me - in part, because I'm the only one getting gluten free cookies.

Counter guy: So, I only charged you for one cookie and gave you three.
ME: Huh? But I only ordered two -
( Read more... )

Mother wants me to visit St. Patrick's Cathedral to see the new murals that the Cardinal commissioned and have been put up. I don't know. I'm more curious about the Cathedral of St. John the Divine - I've never been to it.

****

Buffy Rewatch - S4 Buffy - Beer Bad is better than I remembered. It's hilarious in places. Also, it has the added bonus of watching Kal Penn (who was later on the West Wing, and for a while interned in Obama's White House) and is a comedic actor - turn into a caveman after drinking too much beer.

Xander: How much beer does someone have to drink before they start questing for fire?
Pub owner: Oh, don't worry - it'll wear off in a day or two.
Xander: I served that beer to them - to Buffy - someone could get seriously hurt in a day or two. You are a bad bad man.

Xander is hilarious in S4. I actually like all the characters in this season, which is a first for the series. In S1-3, Xander got on my ever living nerve. Willow kind of did too, along with Cordelia at various points.

I'm liking Buffy S4 more than Angel S1, which isn't as entertaining and a bit too much like a dozen other similar series I've seen. In listening to the Landau podcasts - I learned a lot of recent Buffy fans, had watched Angel first - and then watched Buffy, they were David B fans first. But, ironically their favorite Buffy episodes are Hush and OMWF, not Angel centric episodes.

**

Regarding Buffy S1? I learned from Juliet Landau's podcasts and interviews that Mark Metcalf's makeup for the Master took six hours to put on, and he didn't take it off the whole time he played the role. Those who acted with him, never saw him without it. Julie Benze who portrayed Darla - said he was disgusting with it on, and it was hard for her to look at him. But he was easy to work with. Benze was able to create her own character - and made various suggestions, most of which the writers took. (Except for one - she wasn't going to be a Greek Fury, she wasn't that old.)

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Tuesday is happy about a bookshelf

2025-07-09T00:47:15Z

My bookshelf arrived around 10 am, while I was at work. And even though I requested that they deliver it at the front door of my apartment, they delivered it to the package area in the lobby. But it was still there when I got home, and not that difficulty to get upstairs. I pushed it into the elevator, then dragged it out onto the third floor and into my apartment.
It was pre-assembled, all I had to do was screw on a few buttons for the feet. Then I inserted the books, and voila.

It wasn't too expensive - I got for about 10-20% off, with free shipping from Wayfair.

I'm very happy with it, and it is metal - so hardy.

**

Crazy Org decided to revise all the construction contract templates and schedules again. This is the fifth time in three years. Every section.
And instead of waiting until the next fiscal year - they did it now.

It's a mess. Everyone is confused.

I've decided quite a few folks in management are incredibly bored and need to invent new ways to keep busy - so they look productive. This is what happens when you have too many managers, they come up with an endless supply of busy work.

***

Sigh. I don't know what it is about me - that feels the need to explain and or discuss characters and stories and things with idiotic strangers on the internet. ( whinging about the internet fandom and using the Buffy fandom as an example )
Fandom can be annoyingly dense. I blame our educational system - too much memorization and multiple choice tests.

My frustration stems from the fact that I love analyzing and discussing stories and characters, and debating them. I get off on it. I did it in college. I'm a frustrated English Lit/Cultural Anthropology Major.

**

Alarmingly hot day with a thunderstorm at the tail end of it. Except oddly not as bad as yesterday. Neighbor informed me that feels like temperature was 110 F (50C) today, it was actually 96 F (36C). Yesterday was worse - the humidity made it feel like a sauna. Today, it felt like walking through a very warm hair dryer - hot with a breeze. But hey, I could breath - so better air quality. Either that or the Allegra was doing wonders.

It's probably best to be happy about small pleasures? I am happy and grateful for my new book case, which I've been pondering obtaining for about five years now. It looks lovely next to the tv. I might get another one. I just don't know where to put it.

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Some interesting links and tid bits..

2025-06-19T01:53:19Z

1. Ali Hazelwood Dislikes Peeta and that was problem for some folks

Peeta for the uninformed was Katniss's love interest in The Hunger Games or rather one of two love interests. The other was Gale, I think. I stayed out of the Hunger Games fandom for various reasons.

Apparently what happened is Ali Hazelwood, an author of various books, made the mistake on a book panel at a fan convention of stating that she didn't like Peeta. People got upset - and fanatically attacked her on her Instagram account. To the point, in which she ended up cancelling the entire account (she couldn't figure out how to turn off the comments - Instagram is impossible to use - and makes me crazy - I just post pictures on it and like others posts), and she was apparently popular and highly active.

Excerpt from the post, which I thought worthy of sharing:
( Read more... )

Nothing new, but a worthy reminder that before you post a comment in response to something you've read online, especially in fandom, ask yourself these questions:

* Is it kind?

* Is it necessary?

* Does it help?

And are you posting out of anger or rage? Or trying to prove someone else wrong, so you can be right? What is gained by embarrassing or humiliating anyone? [Note - this is reminder for myself as much as anyone. Trying to do better.]

2. Bruce Springsteen Bio-Pic Trailer

Well, everyone else got one - I guess it's his turn? Although I admittedly like his music and Jeremy Allen.

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shadowkat @ 2022-07-30T17:56:00

2022-07-30T23:10:02Z

Aggravating day.

It occurs to me that if we treated each other as beloved family members we'd deeply morn and would do just about anything to help, love unconditionally and without judgement, instead of a bunch of strangers and well the exact opposite of beloved family members - the world would be a a much better not to mention easier place to live in. But the difficulty is we don't get to choose our family or who resides in this world with us. Unfortunately. OR Fortunately, depending on your point of view.

I'm trying to figure out how to help a poor man on the top floor get all his books which were delivered today. ( the woeful tale of the broken apartment complex door and the book reviewer who lives on the top floor )

Spent the morning wrestling with the internet. It won. I honestly don't know why I bothered. I've had it with Ao3. I may put them in my spam email slot to never be heard from again.

All I wanted to do was share my writing with folks. I wasn't hurting anyone.

I don't understand why fandom continues to discriminate against non-fiction fan works. Wales and I were discussing this last night.
( Read more... )
I don't know. I don't understand Ao3. ( Read more... )

I also was rejected by Slayage. The scholarly fanzine and fandom sect. [This is run by the Association of Whedon Scholars, although they did change their name - because, ahem, Whedon apparently is an asshole. Oops.] I worked hard, followed their rules, and they rejected my essays as not up to their standards. Wales and I discussed academia and other professions. Weirdly Crazy Org is no worse than those, if anything it's nicer. Academia is insanely competitive and petty. So too is the publishing world. And the rejection is high.

Being a non-fiction fan writer is not easy. You get rejected and ripped apart a lot. I'd say you get used to it - but you never do. And people don't often publish or save things on merit, or talent, or how good it is from any objective standpoint - but based solely on how it validates them and makes them feel good about themselves, and in some cases perpetuates the lies they've been telling themselves each and every day.

Mother told me last night that she thinks everyone has a negative side their personality. I responded, yes, they do, I call it the demon.

**

I'll be happy when the funeral is over. I'm tired of talking to my mother about it. ( Read more... )

***

Mother's security data breach courtesy of my brother's stupidity (He gave her the number) - has affected me. ( Read more... )

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It's been a week..

2022-07-23T01:08:55Z

Raises fist impotently at universe and nameless faceless things I can't do anything about.

Me: My father's voice is in my head - "Don't let the turkey's get you down."
Chidi (who is kind of metaphor blind looks at me quizzically).
Me: Turkeys are people annoying you or hurting you.
Chidi: Oh.
Me: I think its time to declare open season on the Turkeys.
Chidi laughs.

***

Me: I don't know why I've been so angry lately...
Mother: That's also part of grief.
Me: Yeah, my beautiful, kind, loving father went through the hell of Alztheimers, and there are all these nasty people who hurt me and others who are perfectly fine. It's not fair.

Alzheimers makes me angry, impotently so.

**
Speaking of nasty people..

Me vs. the idiotic OTW support at Ao3

[By the way, a huge thank you to whomever is sending hostile emails to these folks and making them miserable. They keep complaining about it on Ao3 - on the front page.]

See last post on the nasty email they sent me out of the blue.
What do I think prompted it? I posted two reviews of Twilight movies.
Although weirdly they didn't list either as the problem, but a bunch of movie reviews. Four in fact - Last Chance Harvey, Miss Potter, The Help,
and Bridesmaids.

This is their FAQ's :
( AO3's incomprehensible FAQs or rules, apparently whomever is writing this has English as a second or third language or they are a lawyer. )

( my response, rather lengthy and across five -six emails, because I kept coming up with new things after posting the last reply and they told me to reply to their email if I disagree or wanted to contest the complaint, so I took them at their word and hammered them with replies )
**
I did delete three of the five innocuous movie reviews they cited, along with a few other items (15 People you meet on the internet and in fandom, sociological analysis of television shows, an episode review of an Once episode, and a few movie reviews of two of the Twilight films (which probably resulted in the complaint)... Then gave up. (I'm not sure what they'll make of what I did - except that I got pissed off, tried to comply, gave up, and left them in the lurch. I really don't care as much about my content as they appear to.) I spent too much time uploading them, I've neither the time nor the patience to pull them. They can either let it go. Or they can be assholes and delete and permanently suspend my account.

It's ironic in a way - since non-fiction fanworks are protected by copyright law and aren't considered an infringement, fictional fanworks are not protected under copyright law and in certain areas considered infringement. They'd be better off archiving the non-fictional works.

I feel idiotic for being furious. But I am. Impotently so. Yet another group of nameless faceless people I can't do anything about.

Morale: Do not archive your written works of any kind on sites owned and run by nameless and faceless people with a bunch of hard to understand and vague FAQs. And don't do it while grieving a loved one.

And a site run by volunteers isn't necessarily a nice one.

Plus? I can't help but think it was the Universe's way of getting me to stop obsessively posting reviews, episode reviews, and episode meta to Ao3.
When I should be doing other things. Better things with my time.

Universe: Stop. Work on your book.
Me: In a minute.
Universe: Take a walk.
Me: In a minute, posting this first to Ao3
Universe: Fine, be that way.
Ao3: Take down 90% of your work and stop posting reviews.
Me:You Bleeding Fockers. Curse you! Raises fist at universe.
Universe: ...hee hee?

***

Work.

Ugh.

TGIF

Oh well, my non-management co-workers/colleagues make it worth while. Now if only we can get rid of management.

We kind of help each other. AM actually came up with a way to save us all time on the dreaded excel charts. Turns out I was right - the course she took and her presentation was on a new IT methodology. Brought back memories of when I created a royalty database in Access with IT and Accounting back in the late 1990s, early 00s.

Management tends to ignore anything that isn't on the dreaded charts. It's crazy - because that stuff ends up falling through the cracks and is important.

***

I wanted to smack the conductors on the trains this morning. ( Read more... )

***

Oh well, it wasn't that bad outside at least. And now that the storm clouds passed without doing anything - I'm not edgy, was very edgy all day today and yesterday - which only served to fuel the anger.

Now that the heavy air mass has passed, I no longer feel edgy. Either that or the beta blocker worked, or the cry with mother over the phone...was more cathartic then expected.

Have a hair cut planned on Sunday at 3pm, new stylist, new salon, about a fifteen minute walk from my house. As opposed to a subway. We'll see how it goes. If it goes poorly, in two months, I'll get it fixed.

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Y2/D322 - Tired

2022-02-01T23:46:17Z

I got up early to do laundry - the best time to do laundry is at 6 AM on a weekday, unfortunately, it's also only possible when I'm working remotely or have the day off. Because I'm usually off to the train by 6:35 am, and on the train by 6:45-6:50, then on the second train by 7:15, which leaves at 7:29. There's too many steps, cross-walks, and lengthy platforms to cut it close.

I did not venture outside - but I'm told it warmed up a bit. And it was sunny outside the window. Now, it's getting overcast again - which does not bode well for the rest of the week. If it's too icy on Friday - I'm calling in a Personal Day.

BYT managed to get me 2 hours of Comp Time. They apparently shot it down, until she informed them that she ordered me to do it.

Me: So you lied to them?
BYT: Yeah well, I'd have told you to if I thought of it.
Me: I did it because I didn't want to miss the deadline.
BYT: Yeah, I'd have done the same thing.

I have mixed feelings about BYT as you can well imagine.

Anyhow, after talking to mother (who is wrestling with how to handle her taxes digitially - she's a luddite, I want to strangle her accountants), and taking a hot shower, washing my hair, I made "Keto" (basically low in sugar and carbs and grain free) brownies for desert. [Keto unlike Paeolo has no issues with butter - the more the better.] I'll make dinner shortly. (I know it's in reverse, don't care. The desert takes longer.)

Mother: 90 year olds can do their taxes online.
Me: Yes, well, not everyone is the same.
Mother: I should be able to do this - but my computer keeps crashing on me and I'm worried.
Me: Maybe talk to my brother? He uses an accountant...(I don't - I use Turbo Tax, but guided my mother through her tax accountant's system over the phone - isn't something I can do.)
Mother: I didn't call him yesterday to see if he'd call me, he didn't.
Me: He didn't? Well Phooey on him. He doesn't get a cookie.

Technology has become the bane of my existence. Tomorrow, I get to figure out how to get Zoom on my work computer. It works on my laptop. Tech doesn't work equally on all computers - or so I've discovered.

I've avoided becoming a BFN on either Soap Twitter or FB, do not want. There are crazy people on line. It's why I'm leery of fandoms, because I was (albeit briefly) a BFN in the Buffy fandom. It was not pleasant. Again, crazy people. And having anonymity - makes them crazier.

Soap Twitter fought over whether someone can lose a birth certificate, or not be able to find any record of it. I'm like, really. Yellowstone did that already on its show - and it's a hyper-realistic show. Also, I know people who have had that happen - they were adopted, no one told them, and they didn't look at their birth certificate closely - most don't.

Now they are making fun of a male character who is allegedly a Virgin and can't drive.

Our society is overly obsessed with sex and cars and not in a good way.

They also can't figure out why the media critics think the soap has the best writing - they are right there. Although when it comes to media critics, I'm always wonder what they are comparing it to. Because that's an important factor. If in comparison to other daytime soaps, then I suddenly feel vindicated for not watching the others. (Not that I cared one way or the other.)

***

I wore a mask to do laundry - mostly out of habit, considering no one was down there or in the hallway, and I was mostly by myself.

I finished The Worst Guy an independently published contemporary romance available for free on Kindle Unlimited. It was rec'd by SmartBitches, and better than expected. Smartbitches is kind of hit or miss in the rec's department.

It's about two smart surgeons with narcissistic fathers and bad childhoods, who hook up during conflict resolution therapy. I found the male lead adorable, the female lead - I kept wanting to smack, but she was more relatable than most.

I'd say it was a better contemporary romance than most. Probably because it was independently published and broke some of the rules and tropes. Publishers are insanely inflexible when it comes to stylistic choices in genre.

**

Okay off to make dinner, watch my soap, and veg...here have a picture:

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Y2/D310...Pop Culture Stuff..mostly

2022-01-21T04:05:02Z

Mainly because I'm bored of writing about myself, COVID, Current Events, family and work. ( COVID because it's not really the Corona Virus Diaries without it )

I'm inundated by spam mail.

***

1. Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power trailer actually looks good. I liked the first trilogy of films by Jackson, I did not like the second or the Hobbit films. But I do agree that Tolkien's world building is amazingly detailed and ripe with possibilities, also he wrote a lot of short stories and novellas that take place in the world prior to the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings.

2. Be wary of what you worship. Lila Shapiro's article/profile on Whedon takes a sharp and not necessarily kind look at the fandom that built up around him. I was in that fandom, albeit not necessarily to that degree. I've never met the man. I've never interacted with him. I never wanted or bought an autograph. I just read all his interviews (mainly to understand the process and how he came up with the world and his intent behind the stories he told), watched what he did and analyzed it for free on the internet. And I was often very critical of it.
( fandom and the television show-runner )

[As I was writing this, mother called and felt the need to tell me that my brother read the article -
( family interlude )

Anyhow, Shapiro points out how being fannish about a writer or celebrity can make it difficult to accept their failings. And based on the interaction I just wrote about above, she may well have a point. After all my brother was able to hand wave Whedon's failings as if they were nothing, while they bother me.
( fandom and Joss Whedon continued )

Oh and As a Former ‘Buffy’ Obsessive, Watching Joss Whedon’s Downfall Feels Crushing — and Inevitable (Column)

( excerpt )

( family interlude )

I need to get ready for bed, and clear my head. Early wake up call for tomorrow. It occurs to me that Shapiro's article triggered my own PTSD on multiple levels, and that may well be the reason I wish to discuss it?

My writer's block right now - in regards to story-telling or writing my novels is due to a fear of having absolutely no one willing to beta them. I told this to mother who told me that she had a choir director who was eager to read my next book. And loved my writing.

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Y2/259 ....I'll just ramble incoherently for a bit, how's that?

2021-12-01T03:42:27Z

I don't know what to write about tonight. I'm spent. I went from being bored at work to being overwhelmed in the space of two weeks time, thanks to cubical mate leaving crazy org. I'm kind of drowning. It's been non-stop, and I'm not sure sometimes what to do next.

Also worried about the Omicron variant interfering with my trip to Hilton Head. My brother is worrying about his daughter making it home on Friday and not getting stuck in England with COVID. She's fully vaccinated with booster (Pfizer just like me). But they've had outbreaks at her school. She gets test bi-weekly, they all do. She's at the London School of Economics, they are sending the International Students home a week earlier than scheduled. Currently under a teacher's strike - so it's not like there's school at the moment. Also, my brother isn't certain she'll get to go back next year - UK and Europe are getting dicey, apparently.

I told mother that I was worried about the Omicron variant.

She told me not to be. That there is very little information out about it.
And South Africa only has 6% of its population vaccinated. (This is a problem. My SIL (sister-in-law) was ranting about this in July. We have nitwits who refuse to get vaccinated because..."their rights" and half the world can't get vaccinated because their countries can't afford enough doses.) The other problem is that the information out there is confusing, I can see why folks are reluctant and want to wait, every few weeks the damn media tells us certain vaccines are more reliable than other vaccines. And there are so frigging many vaccines.

My family and friends (on and offline) are in a three way split between Moderna, Pfizer, and Astrezenca (if they live outside the US, Astrezenca (sp?)).

In other news... Chris Cuomo is suspended indefinitely from CNN for using his contacts, and position at CNN to strategize against the sexual abuse allegations lodged against his brother Andrew Cuomo

It's weirdly ironic. In March through roughly July of 2020, the Cuomo Brothers were America's darlings. People loved watching them spar during the Governor's live briefings. People around the world were tuning in. It was the Cuomo COVID show...

Now...almost two years later...they are brought down by a sex scandal. (I don't understand why Trump hasn't been - I know he's sexually assaulted women, maybe he has better lawyers? Or a hit squad, we don't know about?)

Oh well, Cuomo is why I'm in hell at work - so there's that. But him being taken down hasn't exactly lessened that hell any. We keep waiting at crazy workplace, but alas na da.

**

Apparently Nicolas Cage is playing Dracula opposite Nicolas Holt's Reinfeld in the film Reinfeld.
( excerpt )

AM agreed with myself and movie buddy about The Eternals. She stated that it wasn't as good as Shang-Chi, making me kind of wish I'd seen Shang-Chi in the movie theaters.

***

I don't know what I want for Xmas, or what to get anyone else. I'm at a complete and utter loss. There's stuff I need to buy myself - but I'm not asking others to buy them for me. Too expensive. I may buy some pre-wrapped things for myself and leave them here - to unwrap after Xmas. That's an idea.

I need pictures to hang on my walls - but I'm too cheap to buy any. I'm very cheap. I don't like spending money on furniture or decor.

**

Anyhow..

* ( CDC can't find the Omicron variant in the US but it keeps looking )
* ( Mark Meadows is testifying in the House Panel Investigations )

* ( Dr Oz is running for Senate Seat in PA - Ugh, just what we need another crazy Republican nitwit )

*( Supreme Court is going to look into Roe vs. Wade again )

*When Shamma Goodrich moved to New York from New Delhi in 2015, she was struck by the homelessness in Manhattan. She is now volunteering with Brooklyn Community Services’ shower bus, which helps those without reliable access to bathroom facilities. The organization is one of nine supported by The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund. [Finally, somebody worth saving, yay!]

*United Arab Emirates are one of the few ways Bedouins can sustain their traditions. And at the heart of the festival are camel beauty contests.

The ideal camel has long straight legs, a long neck, a shapely hump, pert ears, expressive eyes framed by upward-curled eyelashes, a sleek coat and elegant posture. A little jewelry also goes a long way. When Kiki Streitberger, a photographer, visited Al Dhafra in 2019, more than 24,000 camels from all over the Middle East competed for the equivalent of more than $16 million in prize money

* Tony Kushner discusses writing West Side Story Screenplay for the new film

( excerpt )

[The trailers look amazing, and it's getting good reviews, even if Soap Twitter doesn't like the guy cast as Tony. I don't know, I'm reserving judgement. Also Soap Twitter is well, Soap Twitter. Actually Soap Twitter makes me miss the Buffy fandom. I miss arguing over whether vamps should show their breath or reflections over say whether a bridge should be dedicated to one couple - on a soap opera that religiously reuses its set pieces.]

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Day #330 - Struggling with Focus

2021-02-13T03:33:07Z

Although I did get everything I needed to get done today, done. So there's that at least. Food order finally came and got unpacked, and they gave me carrots for some reason. (I'm not found of carrots. Although I suppose I could put them in a soup at some point.) Every time I get the food order - they put stuff in that I didn't order - it's very odd. I like Foodkick slightly better, they don't do that. But, they are also much more expensive.

Weather is kind of cold and dreary, with another storm on the way. I've been trying to ignore the Impeachment Hearings, but I keep checking twitter - which is talking about it as it happens, and of course I discussed it briefly with mother. Mother tells me things that piss me off - such as : "If people want to or choose to believe the Republican's spin on this and decide to ignore the rest, they kind of can."

Me: We can choose what to believe in this world. True. But our choices speak to our central character and who we are. If we choose to believe someone like Trump or his lawyers, all evidence to the contrary, and after what they've done. Than that speaks to our central character.

[My difficulty is I know she's right - people will believe whatever suits them. Not often what is true, but what suits their world-view or agenda.]

My mother is liberal. But she lives in South Carolina, and it's not.

Meanwhile I'm kind of lurking on twitter - regarding the whole "Whedon" melt down. It's kind of like watching a boulder roll down hill and pick up stuff as it goes. Let's see how many folks jump on board. To date - half the Buffy cast and now three of the writers (Mere Smith - Angel, Marti Noxon - Buffy, and Jose Molina - Firefly).

Marsters recently posted his support, only to have three annoying fans bring up the song he wrote back in 2003 about Trachenberg. ( rant - it was just a frigging song get over your self-righteous ass-hole selves )

I'm trying to be kind, but people keep pissing me off. I restrained myself from responding to these idiots - he doesn't need me to defend him, he can defend himself, and just liked the person who defended him - post instead.
Twitter is kind of social media on speed. Moves fast and people pile on.

Nick Brendan hasn't posted anything - because his partner has taken over his account after he fell on some ice and seriously injured his back. He can't sit up.

Marti Noxon just tweeted her support of the women who spoke up.

NOX NOX WHO’S WEARING A MASK? -martinoxon
I would like to validate what the women of Buffy are saying
and support them in telling their story. They deserve to be heard.

I understand where allcharisma
, Amber, Michelle and all
the women who have spoken out are coming from.

Kater Gordon and I 1/2

And... How the The TV Industry Can Better Protect Writers From the Next Toxic Showrunner

Oh and...we now have Firefly...

Jose Molina -josemolinatv
"Casually cruel" is a perfect way of describing Joss. He thought being mean was funny. Making female writers cry during a notes session was especially hysterical. He actually liked to boast about the time he made one writer cry twice in one meeting.

The Whedon Studies Association is struggling to rebrand itself. And the Whedonverse has now become the Buffyverse and Beyond.

I was talking to mother today about this, and why it was distracting me so much. ( Read more... )

What also hits me today - is I am oddly glad that my friend embers_log is no longer alive to see this. She loved Joss Whedon. She met him in person and had a photo taken with him. She was a fan. This would have broken her heart. She died in 2010 or thereabouts...of colitis. She was about 62. We'd parted ways - over a fannish disagreement. I was being a tad too critical of Whedon at the time, and she got annoyed with me.

Behind all of this, is ...Free Britney Spears
( the documentary about the singer who has been a victim of a toxic male culture of misogyny and abuse for years )

We seem to have misogyny and racism converging with Fisher, Spears, and others. What's interesting though is Fisher is getting buried beneath the white women voices supporting his.

And behind all of that, the impeachment trial of Donald J. Trump lurking insidiously in the background. We all know the Republicans will do the wrong thing. It's become predictable now. Trump is the epitome of misogyny and racism and casual cruelty. The King of the Insult, the King of the Mean. The child of internet cruelty and negative marketing pizazz. He's the worst impulses of everyone wrapped inside one neat little package. A bloated white man, old, and nasty. Spewing hate and vitriol wherever he goes.

In Promised Land, Chapter 25, I think, Barack Obama talks about preparations the US is making in the event one of our allies is overtaken by a populist movement and their government is overthrown - much like the Arab Spring. "It's unlikely to happen," he opines. "But just in case - we've put emergency procedures in place." I can't help but wonder if while reading this aloud as an audio book - he picked up on the irony of those words? It wasn't our allies who were vulnerable but ourselves.

They can't quite convict Trump, because to do so - they convict themselves. And there's the heart of it...I think. To what degree are we to be held accountable for laughing at a madman?

And once again, I find myself assessing my own dry wit and biting sense of humor. But all humor is cruel - even it only directed at oneself. I try to apply it to situations and myself, and not to others. It's easy to forget, I think. But, then again laughing in pain, works as a great anesthetic.

***

It's a wintry day, and I miss my graveyard. The calm I feel walking through it. So quiet with just the birds tweeting and the breeze. The cars are almost too far away to hear clearly. Occasional ambient conversation - equally blurred by distance. The graveyard gives me peace. It shows me how temporary this all is. That humans are...well temporary things. Here and then gone. With plaques in the ground to commemorate their passing. And for reasons, I cannot quite explain - I find that somehow comforting? All this will end soon enough.

Relationships are temporary too - and constantly changing. Work. Life. Friendship. Family. It is never constant.

I'm told character doesn't change but personalities do. That's true enough - I've seen that with my Dad who has dementia. Or myself. Or mother. Or my brother who mellows with time.

COVID seems to be on the decline, more and more people on my FB page are posting that they got the vaccine. I still am waiting to get mine. I'm thinking March or April? I may try to get an appointment through the State's site next week or the week thereafter. I'd like to get it before I have to do a site tour of substations.

I think I've rambled enough tonight. Thank you for reading, if you've made it this far or even if you haven't.

I watched Zoey's Playlist - which is sweet and message oriented, with nice songs. Floating in one ear and out the other. And I ate one too many cupcakes at lunch - two again. But two...was more than I should.

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shadowkat @ 2020-09-13T22:12:00

2020-09-14T02:40:14Z

Making my way through The Order Season 1 - which is kind of a fun, supernatural drama - along the lines of Shadowhunters in the Quality Department.

At some point, I may hunt down The Originals - which is better written and acted. Along with Teen Wolf.

I am enjoying it though for what it is. It's fun. It's mindless. It has pretty and likable characters, and a few of my personal story kinks. The main character is in two secret societies and trying to juggle both, along with a revenge scam against a powerful father, and a girlfriend.

Also tried out the first 13 Chapters of Illona Andrews new book "Ryder".
They are posting the first chapters of it online - sort of as a preview of their work in progress, as you read, you watch as they change and fix things that don't work - which is kind of entertaining.

I responded to the last chapter, letting them know that I enjoy their books.
However, the lead character in Ryder is almost too powerful, beautiful, wealthy and perfect - and that they may want to fix that. I'm handwaving it at the moment, but it is a problem in the later books of urban fantasy series. It is.

There's a tendency for urban fantasy writers without quite intending to do so - to create what they call in fandom circles - "Mary Sues" and "Marty Stus" - basically weak characters that suddenly become all powerful, super smart, super beautiful, and perfect in every way.

Happens a lot with first person narratives. Old Creative Writing Prof once told me to avoid first person, because writers inadvertently write about themselves - and they either make themselves too good to be true or horrible.

It's not true of everyone, but genre writers can and often do fall into this trap.

I'm not sleeping well again. Either my body or my brain keeps me awake, no matter what I do. It's annoying, I'd finally settled myself down and was sleeping very well in August. (It's all Crazy Company's fault.)

The problem with working for Crazy Company - is everyone in NYC and NY thinks they know Crazy Company. Folks, if you knew it - you'd wonder how it is possible that Crazy Company/Agency accomplishes anything at all. Instead of complaining about its service - you'd think - this is a bloody miracle, I don't see how they managed it.

I think I had too many sweet things today. I feel it thrumming through me.
Off sugar tomorrow. Or eliminating as much as I can day by day.

Tomorrow, I venture back to the office again. Common sense tells me that it's probably as safe as wandering about my neighborhood or apartment building. Also the infection rate is low here at the moment, far lower than it was in January through March - when I was wandering about without a mask. Although, I knew something was out there - and had become religious about washing my hands and using hand sanitizer. And I'm not the most social person on the planet. Common sense, logic and pragmatism are keeping me sane. I thank the universe for that.

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Scary Charts, Why I write Meta, and Making Sense of the Non-sensical

2020-04-10T15:54:55Z

1. Sigh, the upstairs tenants have gotten bored and decided to move furniture and go on a cleaning frenzy. I can hear them pounding about upstairs and vacuuming. Reminds me that I need to send the robot vacuum around the apartment again. I'm extremely quiet tenant - because I don't wear shoes, etc. They aren't bad, for the most part they've been relatively quiet - the tenants before them were far worse.

I'm debating what to do with my day off from work. I have a three-day weekend. Considering taking a walk, it's cloudy and cool - maybe there won't be many people outside? Also, considering going on a supply run - but not sure I want to brave the grocery store quite yet. My mother keeps telling me not to whenever I discuss it with her - mainly because my last tale of braving the grocery store was not well, pleasant.

Also debating laundry - it's been three weeks. But it's just me and I'm not that dirty. The towels seem fine. And I have extra towels and sheets, so really not an issue. Plus I'm a New Yorker - I have enough underwear to last a month or two.
Not to mention clothes. Not wearing socks at the moment.

Maybe I should go on a cleaning spree?

2. Eh, scary charts...
( Read more... )

3. Why I write meta and making sense of the non-sensical.

I've been playing about on a GH fanboard. We've had two lengthy arguments.

The first was about which character has done the most horrid thing possible. Or the old, well "Character A" did these "horrible things" and got redeemed, why can't they redeem Character B, and more importantly why can't you find a way to give Character B the benefit of the doubt and a chance, along with their arc?

Answer? Because I don't want to, dammit.

That's really the most honest answer. Because let's face it any fictional character can be redeemed or be found to be likable by somebody. It's not a matter of whether or not they can be, it's a matter of whether or not the viewer or reader wants to deal with it.
( meta on disagreements over characters and why I write meta )

The other thing we fought over was whether a necklace was gold or silver. It's a prop, and obviously fairly cheap - so it can look gold or silver depending on the lighting and definition of the television set. Not all Television Sets are created equal. Several people, including myself, and my mother saw a silver necklace, the rest including the board moderator saw a gold one. (Note - my mother is NOT on the fanboard. I would never go on a discussion board with my mother - and she doesn't like those things anyhow.) It was important, because a character that most of us despised was shown to have the other half of the necklace. That half was gold. It was important - because apparently the character with the necklace that appeared to be silver had a missing daughter. Her mother who sold said daughter on the black market, gave the other half of the necklace to the daughter she'd sold. It was an important detail and people were fighting over it - mainly because they didn't like the direction the story was going and wanted it to go another route.

It reminds me of the arguments we had online in Buffy, Doctor Who, etc - over minute details that didn't work. Such as how come Spike has a reflection in a window, when he's a vampire? Is there inner meaning to that? (No, they forgot to edit it out.)

What works for me is to figure out why. If I can analyze it and come up with an explanation - then I have control. It makes sense. I move on. I like to make rational sense of things, to grab some semblance of control over something that bugs or confuses me. I'm detail oriented and analytical - I like things to make sense sometimes. It comforts me.

So this is the other reason I write meta or long posts on the internet - to make sense of the world around me, and to connect to others of similar dispositions. To make sense, and to feel less alone. Less afraid. Less uncertain. To have control.
If I can make sense of the non-sensical, it helps.

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10 interesting things

2019-09-18T01:59:04Z

1. Superfans: A Love Story - via the New Yorker.

( I'm not sure this is really a love story...but your mileage may vary )

2. Unfriendly Climate - Texas Tech’s Katharine Hayhoe is one of the most respected experts on global warming in the country. She’s also an evangelical Christian who is trying to connect with the very people who most doubt her research. Too bad the temperature keeps rising.

( Read more... )

3. A 350 Year Old Trick to Get People to Change Their Minds is Now Backed Up with Psychological Evidence?

( excerpt )

4. For the Price of $85 and a lengthy interview...you too can get TSA Pre-Check.

5. How to Get Paid to Travel Cheaply

6. A Fire Lookout on What's Lost in a Transition to Technology

( excerpt )

7. You can thank Dolly Parton for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel...?

( Read more... )
I don't know, I thank Gail Berman.

8. Rest in Peace Ric Ocasek, former lead singer of The Cars. Dead at 75

You Might Think I'm Crazy Video

(That's the song I listened to endlessly back in the 1980s on the radio.)

9. Rest in Peace Cokie Roberts at 75

This is unnerving. My mother is 77 turning 78. Also, hello -- Universe? Politicians! We need to get rid of some 70 something Baby Boomer politicians!! (I'm beginning to think they are too rotten to die...they'll probably outlast us all like vampires.)

10. Tonight's episode of "Country Music" discusses the singing cowboys (sigh - Gene Autry and Roy Rodgers), (Coulie) Minnie Pearl (really cool -- she decided to be an actress, and went to the best finishing school in the country, studied Shakespeare, and traveled around the country collecting folk stories and anecdotes -- developed a character with those stories in mind and didn't put on freckles or anything else. She was a sophisticated woman but wore a straw hat with a price tag, and scream out Howdy, talked about a character named brother, and she poked fun at herself -- and made fun of how she looked.

She started on the Grand Old Opry at the age of 28. (I remember her on Hee Haw in the 1970s and various variety shows.) She was amazing -- she developed through improve a series of characters based on real stories.

It also talks about ASCAP and BMI, and how BMI came about as an alternative to ASCAP, the music rights warehouse that doubled the rates charged to radio stations. So, BMI - Broadcast Media International came about -- which allowed for the first time black music to be aired. Black music had been shunned by ASCAP. (Country music was hillbilly and race music at this time.) BMI allowed songs from a broader group that ASCAP had shunned such as hip-hop, black song-writers, the Carter Family, and various others.

ASCAP eventually negotiated an agreement with BMI, but BMI had becomes so popular it stayed around.

De Ford Bailey -- one of the few black country musicians, got kicked out of the Grand Old Oprey, at 42 years of age, because he didn't play ASCAP songs. So he moved to a storefront in downtown Nashville and refurbished as music store -- in 1965, he was finally invited back to the Grand Old Oprey.

This is good, if you find the history of American music at all interesting.

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Avenger's Endgame Commentary and other stuff..

2019-08-11T18:47:44Z

1. It's another beautiful day that I'm strongly considering just laying low during, since I have to negotiate a change order tomorrow.

Watched "Avengers: Endgame" last night -- and it like the other films, weirdly improves upon re-watching. ( Read more... )

Anyhow, that aside, the bonus materials are interesting -- it has about five hours worth. There's a thirty minute tribute to Stan Lee, featuring all his cameos across the films and footage of him taping each one. And then twenty-thirty minute in depth bits on the casting and creation of each of the major Avengers Characters -- from Iron Man to Black Widow.

Making my way through it...they manage to explain and quite well a few of the controversial decisions they made. Thor's journey, Captain America's (only controversial if you are a) a Bucky/Steve romantic shipper (which honestly is shipping vague and open to interpretation subtext and against text and you gotta know you won't get what you want), b) nit-picky about the time travel bit, and Black Widow.

There's a deleted scenes reel -- the decisions on that were right on the mark. Those scenes needed to be deleted. A gag reel. A making of the series -- how they selected the writers and directors, sort of the congratulatory bit.

And now...we have the film commentary section, where we go through the film with the directors/writers, and they explain all their decisions they made as they go through the film shot by shot.

Basically for the price of $19.99 - I get the movie, and about six hours of the rest. Which is a deal. Considering I spent $21 to see the original. Downside? The commentary for some reason will throw me out every fifteen minutes.

Commentary:
( transcript of highlights from the writer/director commentary )

2. On the walk yesterday with Wales, she informed me that she was off social media - as in Twitter, Facebook, Instagram...due to the law firm she had worked for. Law firms when they defend or prosecute a law suite -- will demand a data dump from all the social media resources out there. Or access to them.

I told her this was why I tend to put stuff on DW, and am very careful on Facebook and Twitter.

She said that DW was not listed in the social media request list or access list. They didn't request stuff from it nor did they know it existed.
( Read more... )

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Fandom and Game of Thrones, and Commentary on Cultural Items

2019-05-15T01:20:03Z

Fascinating discussion on fandom and how social media has been affected by it in response to Game of Thrones. Cast of Kings Podcast on Game of Thrones S8 episode The Bells

But you don't need to watch GoT or know anything about to appreciate this portion of the podcast.

It examines why we all feel a need to voice an opinion on things, and the need to stop people from critiquing things we enjoy.

The first half of it is all about how people interact on social media about how fans interact and how their opinions on stories/television shows/etc items of culture. And how we are NOT what we watch or our opinions on it.

And then it goes into the episode. You can stop before you get there...because the first half applies to all fandoms and discourse on social media.

If you just want the stuff on fan interactions, just stop before they go into Game of Thrones. They also talk about vague bit about this week's Barry -- making me want to check it out again.

The second half does a very good job of explaining why the episode does not work. And how contrived the plot is to reach a certain point.

Take away...which is why I had issues...please note these commentators felt the same way I did:

( spoilers )

I agree with absolutely everything the podcasters state in this, and it is worth listening to even if you've never watched Game of Thrones. In part because they also explain why it is important to earn a moment, you can't just do it with metaphor or foreshadowing. It's an important lesson for writers like myself to see and acknowledge.

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Fandom Stocking Goodies

2019-01-20T00:47:51Z

Received lots of lovely icons and vids from folks in my Fandom Stocking. Very happy with the result. Wasn't really expecting anything.

Lots of Killing Eve Icons, also some good MCU icons.

A Farscape drabble.

And a couple of interesting fanfvids.

1. "I Did Something Bad" by jarrow - vid on Killing Eve (Villenalle and Eve) -- and I really like that Taylor Swift song, one of the few of her's I like. She has a handful that are really interesting.

2. Die Young - Buffy by kaydeefalls -- this is a rather inventive fanvid, and one of the VERY few that isn't shippy. It remarks on the theme of Dying Young in Sunnydale...and life in that verse. It's rather fun and a fun song as well.

3. An interesting if rather dark look at the Tenth Doctor Who entitled "I Can Ride My Bike with No Handlebars" == the vid isn't great, but I found the song and the message interesting.

4. And.. Control - MCU Jessica Jones -- exploring her relationship with Kilgrave. Not as good as the first two, but the vid is good as is the song.

Also nice Killing Eve icons from cookiegirl and MCU icons from three other people. Also tarlanx gave me some Black Panther icons.

All in all, quite satisfied. Sorry I couldn't return the favor. ;-)

Some very generous folks out there.

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Good Place Podcast, Jay & Miles X-Plain, and Guilty Pleasures

2018-12-12T02:21:23Z

1. The Good Place Podcasts with Marc Anthony Jackson

Shawn is the head of the Bad Place. And he recaps each episode, and analyzes all of it, and invites writers and actors to help him. The above one -- has D'Arcy Caden (Janet), and the writers of the episode, Josh Seigal and Dylan Morgan. Must have for D'Arcy Caden fans --- come on, you know who you are. This is my X-mas gift or Hannuakha gift to you -- you can thank me later.

Reminds me of The Succubus Club for Buffy, but much better done. (Caveat, I don't like Podcasts. I can't just listen to something -- I have to interact with it or I get bored and start doing something else at the same time.)

2. The other fun podcasts -- if you are a fan of the X-men, is Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-men, Because Someone Has To .

3. Guilty Pleasures:

These are basically the cultural things that I find deeply comforting and entertaining, and have a life-long weakness for...but they tend to be non-mainstream and most people just don't get.

* X-men comic books and graphic novels ( I fell in love at the age of 18, and never fell out..)
* Romance novels -- specifically historicals
* Superhero television shows and movies and to a degree comics
* Daytime Soap Operas (fell in love as a pre-teen, I blame my mother)
* Japanese Anime
* Musical Theater and Musical films...often based on Musical Theater. (If it's a musical, I'll watch it, even if it is a bad musical)
* Star Wars movies
* Science Fiction/Fantasy novels and television series and films
* Rock Operas..

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Fan Fights or fighting over perspectives?

2010-09-22T03:43:47Z

So, flist is busy posting about the Buffy comics again. Must be time for the next issue to be released. Personally, I'm on the fence about getting it.

Great quote today in a business meeting - can't remember who said it, but..."The thing about verbal communication - is everyone hears what you say differently. It never fails to amaze me how people can leave a meeting and have completely different memories of what was said, and/or agreed to. Which is why written communication is so important." Unfortunately people interpret that differently as well. Edward Albee was right - no one sees the same play. Heck, I'm not even sure we see the same colors - I've lost count of the number of folks who look into my eyes and tell me they are a wonderful bright shade of blue. I am not color blind. They are green with flecks of yellow. They merely appear blue when I wear blue. Gray-green eyes have a tendency to pick up whatever color you are wearing or change in certain lights. That said? They always look green to me.

And I spend my worklife - basically arguing with people regarding their interpretations of things.
That and negotiating. I am really good at arguing. I have a degree in arguing. Heck even got a professional license to argue. (okay maybe negotiation or discussing.) That's the thing about the word "argue" - people are afraid to use it. They are constantly substituting euphemisms for it - such as "discussion" or "disagreement" or "negotiate" or "litigate" or "debate" - please, say what it is. If you are insisting that your character is lovable and I'm insisting they aren't - we are "arguing"! Discussion is just a polite form of it. Negotiate is also fairly polite. Litigate - is aggressive. Debate - politely aggressive. Doesn't mean I don't get sick of arguing after a bit and just want to slap someone upside the head. Online arguments make me crazy. Mostly because the person is usually misunderstanding my intent completely - so I spend 85% of the argument saying, "no, no, no - that is NOT what I meant at all, you doofus! I meant this!" To which they respond, "no, no, no - that is EXACTLY what you meant, you evil person you!" All very politely of-course.
Until I reach the boiling point and end up getting very snarky and writing something that I regret - and ends with me deleting the whole kit and kaboodle. Slinking away feeling like a rat, and considering ending my online existence forth-with. (By ending I mean deleting the journal or never posting again. Not killing myself. I'm not crazy.) Of course, I never do. Because hello? That would be nuts. It's nutty enough just deleting the thing. I fear what people must think. But obviously not enough, not to do it whenever I damn well please.

In other words...fan fights are in some respects worse than political debates. ( Read more... )

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