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  <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-06-20:411779</id>
  <title>Spontaneous Musings</title>
  <subtitle>from a curious soul</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>shadowkat</name>
  </author>
  <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/"/>
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  <updated>2010-11-28T01:50:59Z</updated>
  <dw:journal username="shadowkat" type="personal"/>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-06-20:411779:22993</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/22993.html"/>
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    <title>Supernatural - What am I, without my soul?</title>
    <published>2010-11-28T01:50:59Z</published>
    <updated>2010-11-28T01:50:59Z</updated>
    <category term="supernatural"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>5</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">[Catching up on my reviews. I'd promised to do one on Supernatural, but time got away from me.]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The last three episodes of Supernatural focused on what it is to be without a soul. A topic that I first saw dealt with by &lt;a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_Leiber"&gt;Fritz Leiber&lt;/a&gt; -in the novella &lt;i&gt;Conjurer Wife&lt;/i&gt;. That novel has a refrain that continues to haunt me...the wife in the novel has her soul taken and she is constantly saying ..."I want my soul".  Here's Lieber's description of the wife with her soul gone:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Tansy sat stiffly, wearing Norman's bathrobe and fleece-lined slippers, with a blanket over her knees and a bath towel wrapped around her head. They should have made her look childlike and perhaps even artlessly attractive. They did not. If you were to unwind the towel you would find the top of the skull sawed off and the brains removed, an empty bowl - that the illusion Norman experienced every time he made the mistake of looking into her eyes. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The lips parted. "I know nothing. I only speak. They have taken away my soul. But my voice is a function of my body."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You could not say the voice was patiently explanatory. It was too empty and colorless even for that. The words, clearly enunciated and evenly spaced, all sounded alike. They were like the noise of a machine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"But Tansy, if you can talk about the present situation, you must be aware of it. You're here in this room with me!"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The toweled head shook once, like that of a mechanical doll. "Nothing is here with you but a body. 'I' is not here."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;His mind automatically corrected "is" to "am" before he realized that there had been no grammatical error. He trembled. "You mean," he asked, "that you can see or hear nothing? That there is just blackness?"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Again that simple mechanical headshake, which carried more absolute conviction than the most heated protestations. "My body sees and hears perfectly. It has suffered no injury. It can function in all particulars. But there is nothing inside. There is not even a blackness. "&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It's worth noting that Lieber was fascinated by Jungian psychology and highly influenced by HP Lovecraft as well as Campbell, much as many of the modern Hollywood tv horror writers appear to be.&lt;br /&gt;Except in modern takes on souls...the writers seem to be struggling to determine what a soul actually is. Whedon didn't know. His examination of what a soul meant both literally and metaphorically in both Angel and Buffy...covered a vast amount of territory and rarely was consistent. A professed atheist - the whole concept of "soul" went counter to his own philosophical or religious views...yet, like many of us, he did not know and he wrote with partners who did believe. So what we see in Whedon's horror verse tends towards psychological, but is also to a degree metaphysical, albeit less so than Leiber's.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Kripke, Gamble and notably Ben Edlund's take on what a soul is in Supernatural ...is closer in some respect's to Whedon's yet also has quite a bit in common with Lieber. Like Lieber, Gamble and Kripke are clearly influenced by Lovecraft, but equally by the urban legends and American Christian mythos of the Midwest. Supernatural delves deep into the urban legends and folklore of the Modern American working class culture. At times red-neck and heavily male, it bares a great deal in common with another genre - the Western, and the B-Horror flicks, notably by the late great Roger Corman.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/22993.html#cutid1"&gt;Supernatural...spoilers for the last three episodes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=shadowkat&amp;ditemid=22993" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-06-20:411779:17176</id>
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    <title>Supernatural and Sherlock Reviews</title>
    <published>2010-11-01T21:16:02Z</published>
    <updated>2010-11-01T21:16:55Z</updated>
    <category term="supernatural"/>
    <category term="sherlock"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>2</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">Having a bit of a lazy day today. Wherein I did a vaccumned, cleaned my bathroom by spraying tilex all over the tub, ate fresh homemade marshemellows (note to self marshmellows are now officially on your do not buy list - I bought fresh homemade marshmellows - I didn't make them), did some painting or watercoloring, read, and marathon watched five episodes of Supernatural...while basking in the sun that is pouring in through my windows like a cat. (there's a reason I don't call myself shadowdog, outside of the fact that it sounds really really stupid.)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Saw &lt;b&gt;Sherlock&lt;/b&gt; last night - was not as good as the opening episode. But then it was also written by someone other than Moffat. &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/17176.html#cutid1"&gt;mini-review with vague spoilers that probably won't make much sense to anyone who has not watched it&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Supernatural&lt;/b&gt; - I enjoyed as well, more than I thought I would. I don't do scary well, but Supernatural outside of maybe two-three episodes during the first three seasons, doesn't tend to scare me. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Here's a mini discussion between Momster and I over the phone, regarding horror films, tv shows and books. Momster isn't scared by horror. Grossed out occassionally. But that's it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Me: Horror shows don't scare you, do they? I mean you weren't phased by Jaws or Alien at all.&lt;br /&gt;Momster: Nope. Poltergeist didn't bother me either. It's rare that something does - usually pyschological horror, if that.&lt;br /&gt;Me: Why?&lt;br /&gt;Momster: Because I know it's not real.&lt;br /&gt;Me: But.. How do you know it's not real? It could be real. You have no evidence that it isn't. It is totally possible that an alien creature could impregnant someone and leap out and devour everyone in sight, and that ghosts have taken over a house, or...see this is the problem with having a vivid imagination...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What works best for me in Supernatural is actually what works best for me in Sherlock - the B plot-line about the characters, not the mystery of the week plotline (which often serves as a way of exploring them further - if done right, which it is in shows like Supernatural.). &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The story here is basically the "bro-romance". That's all this show is at its heart of hearts, one big long bro-romance. If you don't like that sort of thing? You won't like Supernatural.&lt;br /&gt;So why are you hanging out here reading this review? Go away. Shoo! I don't discuss stuff I don't like. If I don't like it, I probably rarely if ever mention it. Not good for the blood-pressure.[Note I don't dislike or hate the Buffy comics - I'm frustrated with the Buffy comics, because I actually do like portions of them, but they are disappointing me, because there's so much potential and the stupid writer is falling down on the job. That's different than ranting about something you dislike or hate. Just in case you were wondering not that you were...but just in case. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___2" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/17176.html#cutid2"&gt;spoilers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___2" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=shadowkat&amp;ditemid=17176" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-06-20:411779:5154</id>
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    <title>Loving the Contradictions in Stories...</title>
    <published>2010-09-19T04:13:02Z</published>
    <updated>2010-09-19T04:24:05Z</updated>
    <category term="livejournal"/>
    <category term="writing"/>
    <category term="vampire diaries"/>
    <category term="the good wife"/>
    <category term="television"/>
    <category term="house"/>
    <category term="supernatural"/>
    <dw:mood>contemplative</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>2</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">Whenever I post something on my journal online, does not matter what it is or the style I choose, I worry about how people will choose to respond to it. I can imagine all the possibilities, and certainly speculate about each and every one, but I never know how exactly they will respond. And the responses invariably are the opposite of what I expect and more often than not surprise me. Proving that human beings are not predictable and defy categorization or definition. And to be honest? I can't even predict what my own taste or interest will be on any given occasion. It is constantly in flux, inconsistent, and often defies pattern-analysis or pigeon-holing. The best I can come up with is that I am intrigued by certain aspects in characters or human behavior. Why people do what they do, and in particular the decisions people make that defy expectation, that go against what one might predict.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thought about the tv shows that I currently adore and don't want to miss in comparison to those that I half-watch or am more ambivalent about. Or even those that I tried and quickly gave up on. What is it that keeps me enthralled? What is the common deminoator. Why do I want to pick &lt;b&gt;Lone Star&lt;/b&gt; as opposed to &lt;b&gt;The Event&lt;/b&gt; next week? OR why do I adore &lt;b&gt;House&lt;/b&gt; but find &lt;b&gt;Castle&lt;/b&gt; dull?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Here's a list of the shows that I adore, with a quick explanation of what keeps me enthralled. Well, I will certainly attempt to be quick. Please note the style of this post is more serious in tone and less conversational. This is deliberate. It means, I'm being serious and not snarky. I change my writing style to fit mood and intent. It's my way of letting the reader know how to respond or rather how I will most likely read their response. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If you choose to do this yourself? Basically list the tv shows or books or films or whatever you adore and explain why. Is it a character that keeps you enthralled, or a theme, or a plot? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1.&lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid1"&gt;House&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2. &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___2" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid2"&gt;Vampire Diaries&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___2" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;3. &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___3" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid3"&gt;Smallville&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___3" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;4. &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___4" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid4"&gt;Supernatural&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___4" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;5. &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___5" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid5"&gt;Grey's Anatomy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___5" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;6. &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___6" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid6"&gt;Gossip Girl&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___6" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;7.&lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___7" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid7"&gt;Mad Men&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___7" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I meant for this to be brief, but I apparently had more to say regarding the shows and this topic than I thought. But, it's late and seven tv shows is enough. I know, I know, I watch far too many. Please, I beg of you dear reader, do not attempt to pigeon hole me by these shows, because I have not listed all the ones I watch. And most of these, I rarely discuss. And it would be wrong to state that these are the only ones I love or that I love them all the time or are always compelled by them. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There is for instance &lt;b&gt;The Good Wife&lt;/b&gt; &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___8" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid8"&gt;Read more...&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___8" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Or for that matter tv shows like &lt;b&gt;Glee&lt;/b&gt; - &lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___9" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://shadowkat.dreamwidth.org/5154.html#cutid9"&gt;Read more...&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___9" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And finally &lt;b&gt;The Big Bang Theory&lt;/b&gt; - which is the only sitcom I'm DVRing at the moment, with possible exception of Community - which I'm on the fence about. Big Bang sucked me in. Sheldon who is annoying, yet endearing. Leonard who is the Oscar to Sheldon's Felix in Big Bang's reworking of the Odd Couple. With Penny playing straight woman to them. At first it felt sexist, and perhaps it still is, but when you realize the pov, it isn't. I watch for Sheldon, who reminds me at times of my own cousin, an odd cat, brilliant yet dumb, contradictions. And I guess it is here we see the pattern - I love the contradictions. Characters who are contradictory things. Greg House who is nasty, yet also kind. Damon who is cruel, but comforting. Razor sharp, yet vulnerable. Two things that don't appear possible. Good and evil, light and dark, male and female, lies and truth, life and death...all exist hand in hand, yin and yang, both inside us at the same time. No one truly is just one or the other. We have male and female aspects in our personalities. Some swing more one way than the other, some are clearly both. The contradiction fascinates me. How we handle having both? How do we choose which is which or what is what? Characters that are contradictory are human, characters that aren't - well are idealized versions or simplestic allegories of what we want human to be. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It would be simpler, I think sometimes, if I could be pigeonholed. If I could swear that I'm good, that I would not hurt anyone. But I don't know what I'll do. I try not to, I choose not to. But there are days that I am wickedly stupid and cruel, and others that I am kind and wise. Characters who traverse this landscape, who struggle with the inherent contradictions inside and often flail wildly, as they hover over the abyss intrigue me. I root for their survival for them to succeed, but I never know if they will - any more than I know for certain any of us will.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Stories for me - are ways to deal with pain, with fear, to understand myself, to understand others, and to laugh, to love, to cry, and figure out the problems...that haunt dreams and nightmares. I do not expect others to share my tastes or the stories and characters I've fallen for. I am, in truth, more often than not, somewhat surprised and bewildered when they do. I was shocked to find so many people around the world of various ages, creeds, races, sexes, etc - who adored Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And that so many loved it in the way I did...shocked me even more.&lt;br /&gt;I did not expect it. I was equally shocked to learn people loved Kimba as kids, as I did. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It is actually more shocking to me to find those who share my views, than those who don't. I expect the rejection, I expect the argument. I dread it. Hence the worry about posting. The fear.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You want to connect, but you don't expect it. And you think how silly, or rather I do (you here is meant generally not specifically), it is just a tv show, just a story, not worth the worry or the time to write about it. The term the idiot box is ground into my head by peers, parents, teachers, bosses..And at work, it is a rare thing to find someone who watches the same show I do. But we rarely speak of it. There are no water-cooler chats - which others brag over. So, in most cases, not all, the watching of the tale or the reading of it is a solitary invent. The sharing of it - a gift, whether that sharing be in joy, or mockery, or ranting...the meeting of minds over one of the three or all together - brings a laugh or a smile. While the discordant disagreement a rise in blood-pressure and painful self-examination...struggling to understand the other view, while at the same token, struggling to explain my own without erupting with frustration in my failed attempt to do so. I think when the latter happens, that I've failed miserably as both writer and reader. And wonder to myself why bother at all. While at the same time - I rail at myself for caring so much, and am deeply embarrassed. As well..as well as thinking, disagreement is good, it challenges. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The problem with life, sometimes I think, is there are no clear-cut or comforting answers. Only endless questions.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[I'm writing this on my new MacBook PRo, which I'm still getting used to.]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=shadowkat&amp;ditemid=5154" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
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