I think part of the reason Buffy does kill Angel, though -- is that she recognizes on some level that Angel has some responsibility for Acathla. Dawn has no responsibility for Glory. And while Buffy on some level keep Angel's souled and unsouled actions separate, I think she doesn't entirely -- if she could completely separate the two sides of Angel, then she wouldn't let Angelus "get" to her. If Angelus has some Angel inside him, then Angel has some Angelus inside him.
Part of the way I read "Becoming" also comes down to how real, or not-real, Angel is as a person. Angel is a vampire. He's already dead. He doesn't cast reflection. And indeed, if you look at seasons one and two, we don't get much of a sense of Angel's inner life -- perhaps because, for all intents and purposes, he doesn't have one. Out-of-story, Angel is made up of fantasy tropes, of Buffy's fantasy, in order to do the horror tale that they tell in season two. In-story, Angel's only way of interacting with humans is to do what he did as a vampire -- to show them what they wanted to see in order to entrap them. I don't think Angel is trying to entrap Buffy before his soul loss -- I think that he is consciously trying to do what he tells Whistler he wants to do in the "Becoming" flashbacks: he wants to help her. But Angel, as we know, has been away from humans for decades. So he presents himself as fantasy boyfriend because I think he intuits that's the role that Buffy "wants," to get close. Angel, as a human -- died with Liam, or at least, that is one of the possible interpretations of the story. And in that interpretation, Buffy is not killing an innocent person.
It's a very good point that Angel does basically sign the world away for Connor -- and that is the true equivalent. Meanwhile, what Angel does isn't even the same as "saving" his son. He not only "saves" his son's life. As we see, Angel can get close to Connor, and manages to "defeat" him in combat. If Angel got his whole team with him, I think it's very likely he would be able to subdue Connor, bring him back to the hotel, lock him up in the cage used for Angel earlier in the season still in the Hyperion basement, and try to talk to him. This could be done without selling his team's futures away. But no -- he's already given up on Connor as he is. Which is, I think, because Angel doesn't fundamentally believe in his own redemption. Angel had to have someone magically transform his life for him to get where he is, and even that was apparently not enough -- so he magically transforms Connor, and sacrifices his team in the process.
Now, Buffy risks several lives to trade the Box of Gavrok back for Willow -- which has a fairly close equivalent, I think, in Angel agreeing to release Billy for W&H in order to get Cordy back. I don't think Buffy would truly, absolutely let hundreds of people die to get Willow back -- but she is unwilling to follow Wesley's harsher code and give up Willow for a certain victory over the Mayor as opposed to the possibility of defeat (and they do, after all, defeat the Mayor).
One thing that is pitiable about Angel, when compared to Buffy, is that Angel really wants to be a hero partly because...he has done so many terrible things. The only way to make up for what he's done is to do something big -- to work for one day where he's "redeemed." Buffy's cosmic score card is mostly empty when she shows up in Sunnydale -- with not many pluses and minuses -- and she is able to take things one day at a time more easily. Angel's need to prove himself, to be a hero, is his way of attempting to make up for a long and bloody past which *nothing* can make up for, at all. He can't make up for his past, but he also finds it very difficult to ignore it -- and so he hangs his hopes on the idea that he might some day be able to. I think both shows suggest that being a hero is something that one can't achieve by *trying* to be one; the best one can do is to try to be one's best self, to try to do more good than bad on any given day.
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I think part of the reason Buffy does kill Angel, though -- is that she recognizes on some level that Angel has some responsibility for Acathla. Dawn has no responsibility for Glory. And while Buffy on some level keep Angel's souled and unsouled actions separate, I think she doesn't entirely -- if she could completely separate the two sides of Angel, then she wouldn't let Angelus "get" to her. If Angelus has some Angel inside him, then Angel has some Angelus inside him.
Part of the way I read "Becoming" also comes down to how real, or not-real, Angel is as a person. Angel is a vampire. He's already dead. He doesn't cast reflection. And indeed, if you look at seasons one and two, we don't get much of a sense of Angel's inner life -- perhaps because, for all intents and purposes, he doesn't have one. Out-of-story, Angel is made up of fantasy tropes, of Buffy's fantasy, in order to do the horror tale that they tell in season two. In-story, Angel's only way of interacting with humans is to do what he did as a vampire -- to show them what they wanted to see in order to entrap them. I don't think Angel is trying to entrap Buffy before his soul loss -- I think that he is consciously trying to do what he tells Whistler he wants to do in the "Becoming" flashbacks: he wants to help her. But Angel, as we know, has been away from humans for decades. So he presents himself as fantasy boyfriend because I think he intuits that's the role that Buffy "wants," to get close. Angel, as a human -- died with Liam, or at least, that is one of the possible interpretations of the story. And in that interpretation, Buffy is not killing an innocent person.
It's a very good point that Angel does basically sign the world away for Connor -- and that is the true equivalent. Meanwhile, what Angel does isn't even the same as "saving" his son. He not only "saves" his son's life. As we see, Angel can get close to Connor, and manages to "defeat" him in combat. If Angel got his whole team with him, I think it's very likely he would be able to subdue Connor, bring him back to the hotel, lock him up in the cage used for Angel earlier in the season still in the Hyperion basement, and try to talk to him. This could be done without selling his team's futures away. But no -- he's already given up on Connor as he is. Which is, I think, because Angel doesn't fundamentally believe in his own redemption. Angel had to have someone magically transform his life for him to get where he is, and even that was apparently not enough -- so he magically transforms Connor, and sacrifices his team in the process.
Now, Buffy risks several lives to trade the Box of Gavrok back for Willow -- which has a fairly close equivalent, I think, in Angel agreeing to release Billy for W&H in order to get Cordy back. I don't think Buffy would truly, absolutely let hundreds of people die to get Willow back -- but she is unwilling to follow Wesley's harsher code and give up Willow for a certain victory over the Mayor as opposed to the possibility of defeat (and they do, after all, defeat the Mayor).
One thing that is pitiable about Angel, when compared to Buffy, is that Angel really wants to be a hero partly because...he has done so many terrible things. The only way to make up for what he's done is to do something big -- to work for one day where he's "redeemed." Buffy's cosmic score card is mostly empty when she shows up in Sunnydale -- with not many pluses and minuses -- and she is able to take things one day at a time more easily. Angel's need to prove himself, to be a hero, is his way of attempting to make up for a long and bloody past which *nothing* can make up for, at all. He can't make up for his past, but he also finds it very difficult to ignore it -- and so he hangs his hopes on the idea that he might some day be able to. I think both shows suggest that being a hero is something that one can't achieve by *trying* to be one; the best one can do is to try to be one's best self, to try to do more good than bad on any given day.