Willow gets a lot of grief from the fandom for various reasons that I probably don't need to go into. (If you've lurked in the Buffy fandom for any length of time, which you have, you already know them all by heart.) But I don't think her actions are necessarily any worse than any of the other characters. Just different. But, that's another lengthy debate -- which I've already had too many times to count. ;-) Suffice it to say, everyone has their favorite and/or least favorite character - which they like to bore everyone to death with -- oh I hate so and so, let me count the ways or oh I adore so and so, let me count the ways. I used to do it with Spike. I think I wrote as many essays as I did on Willow, Buffy, Xander, Giles, etc -- to hide my obsession with Spike or to downplay that just a tad. At any rate, I understand your ambivalence, currently feel the same way about Spike as a character.
Willow wants very badly for life to make sense, for her and for others; other people's suffering blends in somehow with her own. It is hard to distinguish between her own isolation and the plight of other people, which is why saving the world becomes a substitute for saving herself, I think.
I think this is very true. What she says in Grave is interesting -- she wants to cure the world of its suffering, just as she wants to cure herself of her own - by ending it. Completely. And she brings back Buffy - partly because she wants to save herself. It's odd though, because before she does so...she's actually very happy, her world goes kablooey after she brings Buffy back, whether that would have happened regardless, I've no clue.
Willow cannot see herself as others see her, because the version of her that they love is the one that she holds up with constant effort.
I think this is true as well -- definitely shown by her dream and her actions in S4-7. She sees the criticism not the compliments. She's surprised by the group-hug in Dopplegangland. And surprised by her reception in Same Time/Same Place -- in that episode she creates what she believes her reception will be. She is her own worst enemy. Which is actually true of most of us -- we are our own worst enemies. I know that I am. No one can hurt or rip me to shreds, better than I can. I'm the master at that. Willow is the master at ripping herself apart. She's become an expert at it.
She's shocked Oz and/or Tara love her. In her mind - she sees herself as Cordelia, Harmony, and PackXander did. It's hard for her to see past that. In part it's due to her mother, and in part to her peers ...after a while that criticism is internalized.
It's sort of similar to what happens when people post essays or fanfic or publish a book -- you get 7-8 positive responses and 2 negative ones. Your mind focuses on the negative ones.
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Willow wants very badly for life to make sense, for her and for others; other people's suffering blends in somehow with her own. It is hard to distinguish between her own isolation and the plight of other people, which is why saving the world becomes a substitute for saving herself, I think.
I think this is very true. What she says in Grave is interesting -- she wants to cure the world of its suffering, just as she wants to cure herself of her own - by ending it. Completely. And she brings back Buffy - partly because she wants to save herself. It's odd though, because before she does so...she's actually very happy, her world goes kablooey after she brings Buffy back, whether that would have happened regardless, I've no clue.
Willow cannot see herself as others see her, because the version of her that they love is the one that she holds up with constant effort.
I think this is true as well -- definitely shown by her dream and her actions in S4-7. She sees the criticism not the compliments. She's surprised by the group-hug in Dopplegangland. And surprised by her reception in Same Time/Same Place -- in that episode she creates what she believes her reception will be. She is her own worst enemy. Which is actually true of most of us -- we are our own worst enemies. I know that I am. No one can hurt or rip me to shreds, better than I can. I'm the master at that. Willow is the master at ripping herself apart. She's become an expert at it.
She's shocked Oz and/or Tara love her. In her mind - she sees herself as Cordelia, Harmony, and PackXander did. It's hard for her to see past that. In part it's due to her mother, and in part to her peers ...after a while that criticism is internalized.
It's sort of similar to what happens when people post essays or fanfic or publish a book -- you get 7-8 positive responses and 2 negative ones. Your mind focuses on the negative ones.