At the end of the season, Tara dies from a bullet meant for Buffy, and Willow's first action is to save Buffy's life -- whereas she can't save Tara's. Willow links her despair to Buffy's directly several times. And her attempt to end the world is an inverse of resurrecting Buffy -- bringing death as a way of "making up for" bringing life. I think Willow would probably have hit similar walls without Buffy, had she and Tara and the others left town and tried to start a new life -- but the spectre of Buffy's not wanting to be alive haunts everything, and makes everything that much more terrifying, makes her own despair that much more prominent. In some ways, Buffy means as much to Willow as Tara does, but in a very different way -- with years worth of love and pent-up resentment and mutual guilt mixing together.
What's interesting, though, is that it can be read multiple ways. I've at one point written how Willow's anger is related to Xander throughout the season, even more subtly -- she creates the party decorations right after the announcement of Xander & Anya's engagement, it's Xander who says "you said it yourself, Will, the magic's too strong, there's no coming back from it" right before Willow declares "I'm not coming back" and makes the decision to cut off her friends, and of course it's Xander who talks to her at the end. One can also make the case that it's all about her and Giles -- that part of the desire to bring Buffy back was genuinely so that Giles would stay, because she cares about him and needs him and *knows* that he would never stay just for Willow, and so she had to bring Buffy back to keep Giles in her life. That she needs to prove him wrong after he lays into her, that some of her spiral post-Tabula Rasa is actually because Giles left, not just Tara.
And of course it's also all about Tara, how Tara helps make her feel whole, how earning Tara's love makes her feel like she has a purpose, how saving Tara gives her the sense of her worth for others, how Tara's judgment terrifies, confuses and angers her, how it's Tara whom she feels she needs to impress, and Tara whose loss makes the world seem worthless. Much of Willow's rage and despair -- here, and in the Warren episode in s7, as well as other s7 episodes -- seems self-directed for how she treated Tara, as well, perhaps, as anger that she was so dependent on her?
(sorry, that went on a bit longer than I meant it to)
But it is interesting -- because everyone really does care about Willow. They believe that, ultimately, she is more good than evil -- Giles believes that she is not only important, but necessary for the fight. And they love her. Xander showed at the end of s6 that he loves her no matter what. In CWDP, the First nearly convinces Willow to kill herself -- and I suspect that it nearly succeeded. Willow was ready to agree to anything that would make *her* less dangerous -- the First's mistake wasn't underestimating Willow's faith in herself, which was shaky (she was completely willing to believe that she would kill her friends again, and horrified by the idea) -- but underestimating Willow's faith in Tara. Because Willow still loves Tara more than herself at this point, she can believe in Tara's goodness, if not her own -- which is the thing that saves her for now. But importantly, at that point she believes that Tara loves her -- it is starting to sink in -- though it's scary. And it's tragic that it is only after Tara's death, and only after Willow has done so much to break her friends' trust and faith in her, that she can start to believe that love for her is actually real. I think that people keep loving her is actually much of the source of fandom's resentment, as echoed by Amy within the show -- that people in universe don't hate Willow more than they do. I think some of it has to do with timing -- by the time Willow really does screw up very badly, everyone else has a long rap sheet. At that point in time, everyone is looking for forgiveness, to some extent or another -- some for recent transgressions, some for something much longer.
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What's interesting, though, is that it can be read multiple ways. I've at one point written how Willow's anger is related to Xander throughout the season, even more subtly -- she creates the party decorations right after the announcement of Xander & Anya's engagement, it's Xander who says "you said it yourself, Will, the magic's too strong, there's no coming back from it" right before Willow declares "I'm not coming back" and makes the decision to cut off her friends, and of course it's Xander who talks to her at the end. One can also make the case that it's all about her and Giles -- that part of the desire to bring Buffy back was genuinely so that Giles would stay, because she cares about him and needs him and *knows* that he would never stay just for Willow, and so she had to bring Buffy back to keep Giles in her life. That she needs to prove him wrong after he lays into her, that some of her spiral post-Tabula Rasa is actually because Giles left, not just Tara.
And of course it's also all about Tara, how Tara helps make her feel whole, how earning Tara's love makes her feel like she has a purpose, how saving Tara gives her the sense of her worth for others, how Tara's judgment terrifies, confuses and angers her, how it's Tara whom she feels she needs to impress, and Tara whose loss makes the world seem worthless. Much of Willow's rage and despair -- here, and in the Warren episode in s7, as well as other s7 episodes -- seems self-directed for how she treated Tara, as well, perhaps, as anger that she was so dependent on her?
(sorry, that went on a bit longer than I meant it to)
But it is interesting -- because everyone really does care about Willow. They believe that, ultimately, she is more good than evil -- Giles believes that she is not only important, but necessary for the fight. And they love her. Xander showed at the end of s6 that he loves her no matter what. In CWDP, the First nearly convinces Willow to kill herself -- and I suspect that it nearly succeeded. Willow was ready to agree to anything that would make *her* less dangerous -- the First's mistake wasn't underestimating Willow's faith in herself, which was shaky (she was completely willing to believe that she would kill her friends again, and horrified by the idea) -- but underestimating Willow's faith in Tara. Because Willow still loves Tara more than herself at this point, she can believe in Tara's goodness, if not her own -- which is the thing that saves her for now. But importantly, at that point she believes that Tara loves her -- it is starting to sink in -- though it's scary. And it's tragic that it is only after Tara's death, and only after Willow has done so much to break her friends' trust and faith in her, that she can start to believe that love for her is actually real. I think that people keep loving her is actually much of the source of fandom's resentment, as echoed by Amy within the show -- that people in universe don't hate Willow more than they do. I think some of it has to do with timing -- by the time Willow really does screw up very badly, everyone else has a long rap sheet. At that point in time, everyone is looking for forgiveness, to some extent or another -- some for recent transgressions, some for something much longer.