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1. I'm so glad it's Friday, finally. And I really need to stay away from ANYTHING politically related. (I can't stay away from local or state politics completely, because of the organization that I work in. I'm considered a financial policy maker. If I said the name of it -- you'd know it immediately and think to yourself, ah, yes, that explains a lot.)
Work is killing my social life. That and my commute. And where I'm located. I don't want to go anywhere after work. And I don't want to travel on the weekends.
I'm kind of sick of NYC at the moment. It's crowded. Smelly. Noisy. And there are too many cars, too many bike riders, too many people, and too many dogs.
I may need to visit my brother again, just to be grateful for all of it.
Co-worker: I've made this new friend at exercise class..and she's really wealthy. Her husband provides everything for her. They have two to three homes. She doesn't work and just takes care of her kids. Etc. Her husband is in entertainment.
Me: They get paid a lot in entertainment.
Co-worker: He works in television so I was thinking producer, director, someone high up -- but no, he's an accountant. Handles all the billings.
Me: Wow. Apparently accountant's do well.
Co-worker: Yeah, right? Anyhow, I was telling her about how I was going back to school and taking these great classes, and my husband and I were working our schedules around it and she tells me..that she'd asked her hubby if she could back to school but her forbade her to do it. She's not permitted.
ME:Whoa.
Co-worker: I know, right? It made me realize how much I take for granted. I mean I didn't know that was something you'd have to ask permission for.
Folks? If a boyfriend or hubby tried to forbid me to do that? He wouldn't be peeing straight for a week. Actually he might not be able to pee straight ever again.
I'm not above acts of violence with asshole men who think they can treat women as property. I slugged a boyfriend once who would not stop criticizing me at 3AM in the morning. I had class the next day. We were in my bed. And I punched him.
There's a reason I'm still single.
ME: I was thinking about what you said earlier and wondered...what the hell. If it were me, he wouldn't be peeing straight.
Co-worker: I know, right? Who does that? I was shocked. Then I thought he may not want her hanging around me. Although she is fifteen years younger than him. He's about my our age or my age. Very controlling, very domineering.
Me: reminds me of the heroes in those contemporary romance novels.
Co-worker: Yep.
I told my mother about this -- and wondered why this woman went there. My mother said think about it. She gets the nannies, the great trips, the lovely home, the housekeeping, all of it, but for one thing -- she can't grow, she can't be herself.
And she has to stay fit and pretty to please him, while he doesn't have to look nice or pretty at all.
It's a sickening story isn't it?
I find work and the national news equal parts pure frustration. I just want to shake people. Or snap them out of existence. One or the other. Maybe I should take up boxing or something?
Today at work, I had a teleconference with the lawyer about a fixed unit rate contract. The lawyer, being a lawyer, doesn't speak finance. The financial language made no sense to her. She wanted to make it clear. I tried to explain along with my manager that it didn't need to be clear to the lawyer but to the vendor, who does speak finance. Also, being a lawyer, she overthinks things and makes them more convoluted then necessary and feels the need to go over everything with a fine tooth comb. It's a pre-existing contract, we used the same language. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. I told my Manager that our problem was that our lawyers are frustrated copy-editors.
2. Saw Stumptown last night. It was better than expected and kind of surprised me. They are wisely moving away from the lame-ass love triangle and developing the characters as friends. In this episode, Dex befriends and sleeps with a woman she met at the PTSD club. This woman was Army Intelligence. Their conversation is rather interesting -- because the woman tells her that you either fight your demons or embrace them. And Dex asks which she thinks Dex is doing. They kiss. Then much later, they discover they are on opposite sides of a fight. The woman is a professional assassin working for a drug cartel.
I liked the fact that they made her female as opposed to male, and kept the romantic aspect. Usually it's heterosexual in these things, so a nice twist that.
Grey is growing on me a little bit. And his interaction with Max was interesting, as was Dex. Dex basically tells him that Max is playing him. And asks the time old question that all woman ask..."Why do men always fall for this? This whole I need to save the woman routine? It's been played out. You'd think you'd learn." Yep. My cousin fell for it - got screwed royally. You can't save people in that way. It's not possible. As Grey sort of figures out. He saves Max from the gang and gives her his truck, but she also kind of played him. She tells him that he should come with her, but he can't. And she tells him, he'll grow bored soon and won't be able to stick to his current lifestyle. It's not edgy enough for him. (May not have to worry, since Hoffman may blackmail him into playing undercover again.)
Hoffman also got a bit more development. Hoffman's beef is that his Dad is a defense attorney for the rich, a la Johnny Cochran. Explains a lot.
I, however, want more of the Native Americans.
3. Got stuff done finally. Stopped procrastinating and picked up groceries from Union Market (I don't go often, it's expensive and has things I probably shouldn't buy but do, anyhow, such as Beechers World Famous Gluten Free Mac N'Cheese -- which is the best ever. And gluten free homemade pasta with almond flour.), and more importantly picked up my new glasses prescription and contacts.
Decided the CBD was causing constipation and leg cramps. So stopped. Dang it. I may take sparingly and as my doctor states with a lot of water. It's a dehydrator apparently.
4. In re-reading an old essay on Archive of Our Own -- cool site that. You can instantly find your stuff and re-read it, along with everyone else's stuff. Without all the stupid formatting problems that were on geo-cities or Voy. But I digress and in the middle of a thought no less. That's how my mind works - it kind of jumps around. Anyhow...it was an essay on the Buffy/Spike relationship and fandom. What struck me about it was a couple of things:
* I really don't like the much older/wiser guy/younger/teenage girl patronizing romance trope. For reasons stated under #1. Also, ironically, the writers had issues with the chemistry between Spike and 14/15 year old Dawn, while no issues whatsoever between 14/15 year old Buffy and Angel in S1. Same could be said about Cordelia and Connor vs. Angel and Buffy. It may have a lot to do with the writing and acting. Also, Gellar was 18 playing 16, while Trachenberg was 14 playing 14. And well the actor playing Connor looked like he was 16 years of age, and Charisma looked like she was in her 30s at the time and much bigger than him.
* What turned me on about Spike and Buffy was the role reversal or how the writers subverted the trope by flipping the gender power roles. In fact they intended to do it with Seeing Red as well, but the direction and acting of that scene was done all wrong, because the individuals who directed, wrote, and acted in it -- weren't on the same page as the individual who came up with the idea. Apparently one of the "female" writers had a BDSM relationship in college. Her boyfriend broke it off. She didn't want to break it off, and thought if she thrust herself at him and seduced him, etc, he'd give in. He threw her off, she was humiliated. That's what they were going for in that scene. AND I've actually seen that done in noir film and fantasy, where the femme fatal tries to seduce the hero into continuing their relationship and gets rather forceful and he throws her off. Angel does it with Darla. Spike does it with Anya in S7. It did sort of work here -- because Spike is humiliated and devastated by it, but it didn't at the same time. Mainly because of the mixed messages.
Anyhow, why I liked that relationship and got so excited about it -- was that they flipped the power dynamics and commented on how the hero treats the femme fatale character by flipping the genders. I love that in stories. But I think there are lot of people who can't handle it. It threatens them on some deep level.
* Everybody brings their own baggage to it. I've been struck by this more and more lately. I was trying to explain to a co-worker why I don't drive and am afraid of it. She dismissed it as "it's just an adjustment". Then told me her story -- which has nothing to do with mine. I can't tell you how many times people in the Buffy fandom felt the need to explain to me in depth why the Spike/Buffy relationship was triggering to them personally and horrible, and the fact I liked it offensive. Why I couldn't I like Bangle instead? Or anything else? I was bright? I was intelligent?
Hello? One guy from the BC & S board even called me on the phone and told me his sob story about an abusive boyfriend. There was a woman on LJ, who I agreed with on most things, who described her friends abusive relationship with a guy who reminded her of Spike (she was a huge Xander fan). I attempted to point out that there were people who were equally bothered by Xander, but no, no, her story took precedence.
The pattern that emerges from all of this is how insanely selfish people truly are. We only see ourselves, our problems, our issues, our way of handling things -- we are the lead player in our drama, and everyone else is in a supporting role. The irony is...we couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, we are bit players that cross the stage. And if remembered, not for who we are but for something attributed to us, whether we actually did it that way or at all.
I look back at the kerfuffles over Spike and find them silly. What's going on right now ...is so much worse. I sort of miss those kerfuffles. I miss being silly.
5. I think I want to see Birds of Prey this weekend, mainly because I want to see women kick ass. Although, Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn may get on my nerves. So Terminator Dark Fate on - "on demand" -- may be the better bet. Or "Harriet". I don't think I can stomach "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" - for well reasons.
Work is killing my social life. That and my commute. And where I'm located. I don't want to go anywhere after work. And I don't want to travel on the weekends.
I'm kind of sick of NYC at the moment. It's crowded. Smelly. Noisy. And there are too many cars, too many bike riders, too many people, and too many dogs.
I may need to visit my brother again, just to be grateful for all of it.
Co-worker: I've made this new friend at exercise class..and she's really wealthy. Her husband provides everything for her. They have two to three homes. She doesn't work and just takes care of her kids. Etc. Her husband is in entertainment.
Me: They get paid a lot in entertainment.
Co-worker: He works in television so I was thinking producer, director, someone high up -- but no, he's an accountant. Handles all the billings.
Me: Wow. Apparently accountant's do well.
Co-worker: Yeah, right? Anyhow, I was telling her about how I was going back to school and taking these great classes, and my husband and I were working our schedules around it and she tells me..that she'd asked her hubby if she could back to school but her forbade her to do it. She's not permitted.
ME:Whoa.
Co-worker: I know, right? It made me realize how much I take for granted. I mean I didn't know that was something you'd have to ask permission for.
Folks? If a boyfriend or hubby tried to forbid me to do that? He wouldn't be peeing straight for a week. Actually he might not be able to pee straight ever again.
I'm not above acts of violence with asshole men who think they can treat women as property. I slugged a boyfriend once who would not stop criticizing me at 3AM in the morning. I had class the next day. We were in my bed. And I punched him.
There's a reason I'm still single.
ME: I was thinking about what you said earlier and wondered...what the hell. If it were me, he wouldn't be peeing straight.
Co-worker: I know, right? Who does that? I was shocked. Then I thought he may not want her hanging around me. Although she is fifteen years younger than him. He's about my our age or my age. Very controlling, very domineering.
Me: reminds me of the heroes in those contemporary romance novels.
Co-worker: Yep.
I told my mother about this -- and wondered why this woman went there. My mother said think about it. She gets the nannies, the great trips, the lovely home, the housekeeping, all of it, but for one thing -- she can't grow, she can't be herself.
And she has to stay fit and pretty to please him, while he doesn't have to look nice or pretty at all.
It's a sickening story isn't it?
I find work and the national news equal parts pure frustration. I just want to shake people. Or snap them out of existence. One or the other. Maybe I should take up boxing or something?
Today at work, I had a teleconference with the lawyer about a fixed unit rate contract. The lawyer, being a lawyer, doesn't speak finance. The financial language made no sense to her. She wanted to make it clear. I tried to explain along with my manager that it didn't need to be clear to the lawyer but to the vendor, who does speak finance. Also, being a lawyer, she overthinks things and makes them more convoluted then necessary and feels the need to go over everything with a fine tooth comb. It's a pre-existing contract, we used the same language. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. I told my Manager that our problem was that our lawyers are frustrated copy-editors.
2. Saw Stumptown last night. It was better than expected and kind of surprised me. They are wisely moving away from the lame-ass love triangle and developing the characters as friends. In this episode, Dex befriends and sleeps with a woman she met at the PTSD club. This woman was Army Intelligence. Their conversation is rather interesting -- because the woman tells her that you either fight your demons or embrace them. And Dex asks which she thinks Dex is doing. They kiss. Then much later, they discover they are on opposite sides of a fight. The woman is a professional assassin working for a drug cartel.
I liked the fact that they made her female as opposed to male, and kept the romantic aspect. Usually it's heterosexual in these things, so a nice twist that.
Grey is growing on me a little bit. And his interaction with Max was interesting, as was Dex. Dex basically tells him that Max is playing him. And asks the time old question that all woman ask..."Why do men always fall for this? This whole I need to save the woman routine? It's been played out. You'd think you'd learn." Yep. My cousin fell for it - got screwed royally. You can't save people in that way. It's not possible. As Grey sort of figures out. He saves Max from the gang and gives her his truck, but she also kind of played him. She tells him that he should come with her, but he can't. And she tells him, he'll grow bored soon and won't be able to stick to his current lifestyle. It's not edgy enough for him. (May not have to worry, since Hoffman may blackmail him into playing undercover again.)
Hoffman also got a bit more development. Hoffman's beef is that his Dad is a defense attorney for the rich, a la Johnny Cochran. Explains a lot.
I, however, want more of the Native Americans.
3. Got stuff done finally. Stopped procrastinating and picked up groceries from Union Market (I don't go often, it's expensive and has things I probably shouldn't buy but do, anyhow, such as Beechers World Famous Gluten Free Mac N'Cheese -- which is the best ever. And gluten free homemade pasta with almond flour.), and more importantly picked up my new glasses prescription and contacts.
Decided the CBD was causing constipation and leg cramps. So stopped. Dang it. I may take sparingly and as my doctor states with a lot of water. It's a dehydrator apparently.
4. In re-reading an old essay on Archive of Our Own -- cool site that. You can instantly find your stuff and re-read it, along with everyone else's stuff. Without all the stupid formatting problems that were on geo-cities or Voy. But I digress and in the middle of a thought no less. That's how my mind works - it kind of jumps around. Anyhow...it was an essay on the Buffy/Spike relationship and fandom. What struck me about it was a couple of things:
* I really don't like the much older/wiser guy/younger/teenage girl patronizing romance trope. For reasons stated under #1. Also, ironically, the writers had issues with the chemistry between Spike and 14/15 year old Dawn, while no issues whatsoever between 14/15 year old Buffy and Angel in S1. Same could be said about Cordelia and Connor vs. Angel and Buffy. It may have a lot to do with the writing and acting. Also, Gellar was 18 playing 16, while Trachenberg was 14 playing 14. And well the actor playing Connor looked like he was 16 years of age, and Charisma looked like she was in her 30s at the time and much bigger than him.
* What turned me on about Spike and Buffy was the role reversal or how the writers subverted the trope by flipping the gender power roles. In fact they intended to do it with Seeing Red as well, but the direction and acting of that scene was done all wrong, because the individuals who directed, wrote, and acted in it -- weren't on the same page as the individual who came up with the idea. Apparently one of the "female" writers had a BDSM relationship in college. Her boyfriend broke it off. She didn't want to break it off, and thought if she thrust herself at him and seduced him, etc, he'd give in. He threw her off, she was humiliated. That's what they were going for in that scene. AND I've actually seen that done in noir film and fantasy, where the femme fatal tries to seduce the hero into continuing their relationship and gets rather forceful and he throws her off. Angel does it with Darla. Spike does it with Anya in S7. It did sort of work here -- because Spike is humiliated and devastated by it, but it didn't at the same time. Mainly because of the mixed messages.
Anyhow, why I liked that relationship and got so excited about it -- was that they flipped the power dynamics and commented on how the hero treats the femme fatale character by flipping the genders. I love that in stories. But I think there are lot of people who can't handle it. It threatens them on some deep level.
* Everybody brings their own baggage to it. I've been struck by this more and more lately. I was trying to explain to a co-worker why I don't drive and am afraid of it. She dismissed it as "it's just an adjustment". Then told me her story -- which has nothing to do with mine. I can't tell you how many times people in the Buffy fandom felt the need to explain to me in depth why the Spike/Buffy relationship was triggering to them personally and horrible, and the fact I liked it offensive. Why I couldn't I like Bangle instead? Or anything else? I was bright? I was intelligent?
Hello? One guy from the BC & S board even called me on the phone and told me his sob story about an abusive boyfriend. There was a woman on LJ, who I agreed with on most things, who described her friends abusive relationship with a guy who reminded her of Spike (she was a huge Xander fan). I attempted to point out that there were people who were equally bothered by Xander, but no, no, her story took precedence.
The pattern that emerges from all of this is how insanely selfish people truly are. We only see ourselves, our problems, our issues, our way of handling things -- we are the lead player in our drama, and everyone else is in a supporting role. The irony is...we couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, we are bit players that cross the stage. And if remembered, not for who we are but for something attributed to us, whether we actually did it that way or at all.
I look back at the kerfuffles over Spike and find them silly. What's going on right now ...is so much worse. I sort of miss those kerfuffles. I miss being silly.
5. I think I want to see Birds of Prey this weekend, mainly because I want to see women kick ass. Although, Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn may get on my nerves. So Terminator Dark Fate on - "on demand" -- may be the better bet. Or "Harriet". I don't think I can stomach "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" - for well reasons.
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I knew you had moved around a bit over your life but wasn't aware it was to that extent. I had hoped you'd pick up on the humor subtext in my pitching my hometown, after your comment about NYC getting you down. This berg has had quite a lot of ex-yorkers move into it over the last few decades, and not just from there, either. It's seems we're suddenly way popular.
But! Oh, yeah-- the reality of living here is that while the area is definitely getting more cosmopolitan in a generally good way, it's a very old town, with very old infrastructure, and thus does not handle a large population increase gracefully. Oopsie!
And in your case, I already knew you'd probably never want to move here, since pretty much 98% of the population drive everywhere! It's close to not being an option, I'm afraid.
If you did ever move, though-- is there a favorite place, say where you'd ideally like to retire to?
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But that's 10-15 years away at this point. So we shall see. Also as far as favorite places go? I don't really have one. They all have their ups and downs. I actually like NY the best because of all the places that I've been for the following reasons? Diversity of landscape, area, population, culture, language. It is the most diverse place that I've seen. Also diversity in transportation choices. Want to go to the beach? Train, boat, subway, bike. Want to go to the mountains, train. Want to go to the theater? Train. Want museums? Want any food in the world - take your pick, it's there. Any movie? You'll find it. Any book? Ditto. Also, I can get to the mountains, rivers, lakes, beach, forests...all within the same state.
And, NY has the most human rights legislation of any state in the country, the strongest gun restrictions, and puts the most money into infrastructure.
I've never been anywhere as cool as NYC or NY, and I've been to Istanbul, Sydney, London, Dublin, Cardiff, Paris, Berlin, Melbourne, Halifax, Philadelphia, San Francisco, LA, Tuscon, Houston, Kansas City, St. Louis, Tasmania, Hilton Head, Costa Rica, The Keyes, Florida, Savannah, Charleston, Martha's Vineyard, I can keep going. My family is somewhat nomadic. I think NY and NYC may have ruined me for any other place on the planet sometimes. I like to complain about it -- but I've lived through 9/11, the East Coast Blackout, The Transit Strike, and Hurricane Sandy. Plus four bouts of unemployment. It'll take a lot to get me to actually leave. ;-)
Lancaster sounds like the towns up and down the Hudson River Valley which have suddenly gotten overpopulated by New Yorkers priced out of NY and hunting space. My brother fled further upstate to Chatham and Kinderhook and Hudson to escape the traffic they'd brought with them.