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1. I'm torturing myself watching Diane Sawyer's special "Our New Reality" about the virus. Although I found out a few things I did not know. Such as the ski resort community, Sun Valley, Idaho was among the very first hot spots. The special doesn't focus as much on New York - which is a nice change of pace. It's talking about the immunology and how the vaccine is being developed. And how they are trying to speed the vaccine along - there's at least 10 human vaccine trials underway, with volunteers. Also how widespread.
Talks about how a mask protects us. And the bizarre range of symptoms. My mother is worried about blood clots - her eldest sister died at the age of 55 from a blood clot.
It's probably worth mentioning that prior to all this - I was fascinated with viruses and pandemic resolutions. I read books on it, and watched films on it through the 90s and early 00s.
The special is somewhat uplifting - because she is focusing on the people trying to solve the problem and doing everything they can to save lives and provide hope. A nice antidote to a difficult news days. In particular - a nursing home in which all the caregivers and nursing staff decide to lock themselves in with the vulnerable patients and don't go home at all for the duration - for sixty-five days. Now, they have enough testing, so they can go home. I think it's important to see the things people are doing for each other.
2. It's official, The COVID MAP of DOOM - has 100,396 deaths in the US, 1.69 million cases, and 355,575 deaths world-wide.
Painful. Cases are increasing in the areas that opened too early and without precautions in place.
3. Every Type of Zoom Call Participant Illustrated by Cats - I'm the one who can't figure out how to angle the camera on my laptop so it keeps seeing the top of my head.
Or I use no video at all.
4. Well this happened in Central Park this week... -
5. Emotional Regulation Skills - eh, except I kind of like to numb out.
But I admit I am dealing with the feelings head on.
I've taken to talking to my mother twice a day now, instead of once a day. At lunch time and after work - it breaks up the day, reassures me that she is okay in her locked down retirement home in South Carolina, that my Dad is okay, and it reassures her than I am okay. She also shares the news about our family.
Other things I do - I text message my brother and niece on occasion. Interact with family members and friends on Facebook and Dreamwidth. Interact with co-workers remotely - I do have a people intensive job.
Listen to the Gov's daily briefings. Limit my news sources to reliable factual sources. Avoid politics as much as possible.
Take it a day at a time. Don't look too far ahead or too far backward.
Do yoga stretches, and take long meditative walks through Greenwood Cemetery.
Meditate every morning at 7AM. Get up at 6:30 AM every morning. Take my time getting ready, meditate, make breakfast, before clocking in for work.
And all of that has been working. It's kept me sane. I try not to go overboard with distractions. Do I drink wine? Yes, but in moderation - one glass if that at night. I eat chocolate - but not too much. I'm off all grains and all dairy, except a bit of cheese. I let myself have a few things, treats. A pandemic is not a time to restrict too tightly.
I've also limited any activity that causes undue stress, and attempted to help to the degree that I can. I attend my church's Zoom services every week, and do other things here and there through Zoom. I donate money where I can - to those who need it. I wear masks, and follow the protocol - keeping myself healthy and well.
And I write in this journal. Sharing thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires to any and all who will listen.
6. From the New York Times Magazine from a writer in Cambridge...
We Can’t Comprehend This Much Sorrow History’s first draft is almost always wrong — but we still have to try and write it.
"This year has been a blur, but I remember one day clearly: Sunday, March 8. It was the last day I ate at a restaurant, the last day I went to a concert (Red Baraat at the Sinclair in Cambridge, Mass.) and the last day I hugged a friend. It was also the first time I thought that I should begin writing about what was going on.
That thought was immediately followed by its negation: Why bother? The same incidents, the same references and the same outrages would inevitably be picked over by other writers; for all our social distancing, we’d all be crowding around the same material. I also knew that anything I wrote could soon be — in fact was almost certain to be — contradicted by new developments. But what worried me most was that certain points of emphasis in my writing would later prove to have been misjudged, and that this would somehow reveal that my heart had been in the wrong place all along.
By mid-April, the daily death toll had risen to terrifying heights. But then those numbers fluctuated and at times fell, and it appeared that the worst was over. We seemed to be in for a significant sequence of days. So I set down a week’s worth of observations, hoping to capture, with no attempt at being comprehensive, a time when my feelings were as raw as my understanding of what was happening."
For me the weekend of March 7-9 is notable for two reasons, I turned 53 years of age - I took it as a four day vacation, and two, it was the last time I did the following: ate in a restaurant, went to a movie, spent time with a friend and hugged them, had a massage (so was touched by human hands other than my own), walked in a park without a mask, sat on a bench near another person, a stranger, and watch geese. I live in New York.The New York numbers were tangible to me. Not far away.
" Yesterday’s death toll from Covid-19 in New York State was 732 people. I can hardly concentrate in daytime. At night, I read Annie Ernaux’s ‘‘The Years.’’ You can feel the pulse and intelligence of Ernaux’s mind, her technical facility, the range of her assessments over several decades of French history. The book, which mixes history with memoir, is good writing. Eventually, there will be good writing about our moment as well. If journalism is the first rough draft of history, perhaps a journal is the first rough draft of literature. But grief makes me sour. I feel as though I’ve read the same piece of white writing 30 times in the past month.
Much of it is concerned with inconveniences, and some of it is jokey. I understand these collective attempts at lightness, but I quarrel with them, because I know that in the United States there is no ‘‘collective.’’ Levity in the midst of sorrow can be a consolation if the sorrow is shared to begin with. But here, where everything is divided, where the unscathed can’t quite believe the wounded, the levity sounds like anything but solidarity. Covid-19 was initially heralded as a great equalizer, and there was some evidence of this in some countries. But it arrived in America and immediately became American: classist, capitalist, complacent.
The words Samuel Beckett wrote to his friend Alan Schneider in 1963 feel like a lifeline: ‘‘I offer you only my deeply affectionate and compassionate thoughts and wish for you only that the strange thing may never fail you, whatever it is, that gives us the strength to live on and on with our wounds.’’
It's not just America though. I've talked to people around the world. Sweden, the UK, Germany, Asia, Canada...all have similar problems. The classicism, greed, and complacency is not unique to Americans, it's human.
It's the dark side of humanity - an inability to care past one's own needs, wants, desires, hopes, dreams, and ego.
I wish it could be so easily isolated. But it's not. And I feel the writer of this article is horribly niave in thinking that's the case and not very observant. What I'm seeing on FB and DW regarding what is happening in the UK is horrifying, yet scarily reassuring in that it is an echo of what I see here in the States, and elsewhere. A crisis can bring out the worst or best in people. Some deal well with crisis, others...not so much. Or so I've found. And history has not been kind in its depictions of how we've handled similar crises in the past.
As to levity - it is at times the only way to stay sane in insane times.
7. Kind of cool - Doctor Who Fandom does a rendition of a Doctor Who Song with over 500 fans from around the world singing via Zoom
Or you can just look at the CHOIR doing it
Zoom and social conferencing software is doing rather well.
8. Hmmm...two things to check out on streaming soon:
* The Great - starring Nicholas Hoult and Dakota Fanning
* Hannah Gasby - Douglas
Also I'm taping Grant on the History Channel. Now I just need to find time to watch television.
9. And the New York Governor's Latest missive on New York vs. The Corona Virus
Today the U.S. death toll from the Coronavirus pandemic topped 100,000, a tragic milestone. This is an unfathomable and immeasurable loss. Words simply fail in capturing the scale of this loss and the trauma and grief it has caused. Each person who we lost was loved. Each person will be missed. We stand united in grief and mark this solemn day for our nation. [Just so painful and even worse? I know we're not done yet.]
Here's what else you need to know tonight:
1. Long Island met all seven metrics and began Phase 1 reopening today. At this point, every region in the state excluding New York City has begun the reopening process. For details and information about the different phases of this process visit forward.ny.gov.[Do NOT reopen New York City yet - too many idiots.]
2. The number of total COVID hospitalizations continues to decline. Total hospitalizations are at 4,208, from 4,265 the day before. The number of new COVID hospitalizations fell to 181, from 201 the day before. Tragically, we lost 74 New Yorkers to the virus yesterday. [You know things are awful when 74 deaths seems pretty low. We were up at close to a 1000 a day for a while there.]
3. I am calling on the U.S. Senate to pass a COVID relief bill that helps all Americans and provides fiscal support to states. State and local governments have seen revenues go down and costs go up due to COVID — we need federal relief so that we can support hospitals, firefighters, teachers, police officers and other working Americans. In Washington D.C. today, I also met with President Trump and urged him to support a public infrastructure program to help supercharge the economy. We have shovel-ready projects in New York — all we need is federal approval. [Now, if the Senate would just pass it instead of constantly bailing out private businesses.]
4. Remember to respond to the Census. Every New Yorker should respond to the Census — it is safe, easy and can be done online from the comfort of your own home. Let's make sure every New Yorker is counted. Complete the Census today at my2020census.gov. [Did that in April or March - I feel like I did with my tax returns. Yes, yes, done already. Can we move on, now? I do have to apply for absentee ballot by mail, but having troubles caring.]
5. If you have symptoms, get tested. There are over 760 locations in the state that offer testing — find one here. If you go to a testing site run by New York State, all testing is free of charge. If you are getting a test at a site operated by local governments, private companies including pharmacies and medical practices or not-for-profit organizations, you are advised to check with the testing site and your own health plan in advance of being tested to confirm you will not be responsible for any fee.[I kid you not, New York is test happy. They keep telling everyone to get tested. Every day, by hook nook and crook.]
6. New York rest stops, text stops and welcome centers remain open. Rest rooms, gas and vending machines continue to be available — and enhanced cleaning measures have been implemented. New Yorkers should continue to wear a mask in public, including rest areas.[You'd think with all this cleaning going on and the lack of disinfectants, New York would be cleaner - it's not. Although I admittedly have not exactly traveled anywhere recently.]
This made me laugh - So I left it outside the cut.
Tonight's "Deep Breath Moment": Finley, a 6-year-old Golden Retriever from Canandaigua, NY, was recognized by Guinness World Records for being able to hold six tennis balls in his mouth with no assistance — shattering the previous record of five tennis balls. Congratulations to this very good boy on his world record.
The poor Governor, he is trying really hard to keep the moral up.
Talks about how a mask protects us. And the bizarre range of symptoms. My mother is worried about blood clots - her eldest sister died at the age of 55 from a blood clot.
It's probably worth mentioning that prior to all this - I was fascinated with viruses and pandemic resolutions. I read books on it, and watched films on it through the 90s and early 00s.
The special is somewhat uplifting - because she is focusing on the people trying to solve the problem and doing everything they can to save lives and provide hope. A nice antidote to a difficult news days. In particular - a nursing home in which all the caregivers and nursing staff decide to lock themselves in with the vulnerable patients and don't go home at all for the duration - for sixty-five days. Now, they have enough testing, so they can go home. I think it's important to see the things people are doing for each other.
2. It's official, The COVID MAP of DOOM - has 100,396 deaths in the US, 1.69 million cases, and 355,575 deaths world-wide.
Painful. Cases are increasing in the areas that opened too early and without precautions in place.
3. Every Type of Zoom Call Participant Illustrated by Cats - I'm the one who can't figure out how to angle the camera on my laptop so it keeps seeing the top of my head.
Or I use no video at all.
4. Well this happened in Central Park this week... -
5. Emotional Regulation Skills - eh, except I kind of like to numb out.
But I admit I am dealing with the feelings head on.
I've taken to talking to my mother twice a day now, instead of once a day. At lunch time and after work - it breaks up the day, reassures me that she is okay in her locked down retirement home in South Carolina, that my Dad is okay, and it reassures her than I am okay. She also shares the news about our family.
Other things I do - I text message my brother and niece on occasion. Interact with family members and friends on Facebook and Dreamwidth. Interact with co-workers remotely - I do have a people intensive job.
Listen to the Gov's daily briefings. Limit my news sources to reliable factual sources. Avoid politics as much as possible.
Take it a day at a time. Don't look too far ahead or too far backward.
Do yoga stretches, and take long meditative walks through Greenwood Cemetery.
Meditate every morning at 7AM. Get up at 6:30 AM every morning. Take my time getting ready, meditate, make breakfast, before clocking in for work.
And all of that has been working. It's kept me sane. I try not to go overboard with distractions. Do I drink wine? Yes, but in moderation - one glass if that at night. I eat chocolate - but not too much. I'm off all grains and all dairy, except a bit of cheese. I let myself have a few things, treats. A pandemic is not a time to restrict too tightly.
I've also limited any activity that causes undue stress, and attempted to help to the degree that I can. I attend my church's Zoom services every week, and do other things here and there through Zoom. I donate money where I can - to those who need it. I wear masks, and follow the protocol - keeping myself healthy and well.
And I write in this journal. Sharing thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires to any and all who will listen.
6. From the New York Times Magazine from a writer in Cambridge...
We Can’t Comprehend This Much Sorrow History’s first draft is almost always wrong — but we still have to try and write it.
"This year has been a blur, but I remember one day clearly: Sunday, March 8. It was the last day I ate at a restaurant, the last day I went to a concert (Red Baraat at the Sinclair in Cambridge, Mass.) and the last day I hugged a friend. It was also the first time I thought that I should begin writing about what was going on.
That thought was immediately followed by its negation: Why bother? The same incidents, the same references and the same outrages would inevitably be picked over by other writers; for all our social distancing, we’d all be crowding around the same material. I also knew that anything I wrote could soon be — in fact was almost certain to be — contradicted by new developments. But what worried me most was that certain points of emphasis in my writing would later prove to have been misjudged, and that this would somehow reveal that my heart had been in the wrong place all along.
By mid-April, the daily death toll had risen to terrifying heights. But then those numbers fluctuated and at times fell, and it appeared that the worst was over. We seemed to be in for a significant sequence of days. So I set down a week’s worth of observations, hoping to capture, with no attempt at being comprehensive, a time when my feelings were as raw as my understanding of what was happening."
For me the weekend of March 7-9 is notable for two reasons, I turned 53 years of age - I took it as a four day vacation, and two, it was the last time I did the following: ate in a restaurant, went to a movie, spent time with a friend and hugged them, had a massage (so was touched by human hands other than my own), walked in a park without a mask, sat on a bench near another person, a stranger, and watch geese. I live in New York.The New York numbers were tangible to me. Not far away.
" Yesterday’s death toll from Covid-19 in New York State was 732 people. I can hardly concentrate in daytime. At night, I read Annie Ernaux’s ‘‘The Years.’’ You can feel the pulse and intelligence of Ernaux’s mind, her technical facility, the range of her assessments over several decades of French history. The book, which mixes history with memoir, is good writing. Eventually, there will be good writing about our moment as well. If journalism is the first rough draft of history, perhaps a journal is the first rough draft of literature. But grief makes me sour. I feel as though I’ve read the same piece of white writing 30 times in the past month.
Much of it is concerned with inconveniences, and some of it is jokey. I understand these collective attempts at lightness, but I quarrel with them, because I know that in the United States there is no ‘‘collective.’’ Levity in the midst of sorrow can be a consolation if the sorrow is shared to begin with. But here, where everything is divided, where the unscathed can’t quite believe the wounded, the levity sounds like anything but solidarity. Covid-19 was initially heralded as a great equalizer, and there was some evidence of this in some countries. But it arrived in America and immediately became American: classist, capitalist, complacent.
The words Samuel Beckett wrote to his friend Alan Schneider in 1963 feel like a lifeline: ‘‘I offer you only my deeply affectionate and compassionate thoughts and wish for you only that the strange thing may never fail you, whatever it is, that gives us the strength to live on and on with our wounds.’’
It's not just America though. I've talked to people around the world. Sweden, the UK, Germany, Asia, Canada...all have similar problems. The classicism, greed, and complacency is not unique to Americans, it's human.
It's the dark side of humanity - an inability to care past one's own needs, wants, desires, hopes, dreams, and ego.
I wish it could be so easily isolated. But it's not. And I feel the writer of this article is horribly niave in thinking that's the case and not very observant. What I'm seeing on FB and DW regarding what is happening in the UK is horrifying, yet scarily reassuring in that it is an echo of what I see here in the States, and elsewhere. A crisis can bring out the worst or best in people. Some deal well with crisis, others...not so much. Or so I've found. And history has not been kind in its depictions of how we've handled similar crises in the past.
As to levity - it is at times the only way to stay sane in insane times.
7. Kind of cool - Doctor Who Fandom does a rendition of a Doctor Who Song with over 500 fans from around the world singing via Zoom
Or you can just look at the CHOIR doing it
Zoom and social conferencing software is doing rather well.
8. Hmmm...two things to check out on streaming soon:
* The Great - starring Nicholas Hoult and Dakota Fanning
* Hannah Gasby - Douglas
Also I'm taping Grant on the History Channel. Now I just need to find time to watch television.
9. And the New York Governor's Latest missive on New York vs. The Corona Virus
Today the U.S. death toll from the Coronavirus pandemic topped 100,000, a tragic milestone. This is an unfathomable and immeasurable loss. Words simply fail in capturing the scale of this loss and the trauma and grief it has caused. Each person who we lost was loved. Each person will be missed. We stand united in grief and mark this solemn day for our nation. [Just so painful and even worse? I know we're not done yet.]
Here's what else you need to know tonight:
1. Long Island met all seven metrics and began Phase 1 reopening today. At this point, every region in the state excluding New York City has begun the reopening process. For details and information about the different phases of this process visit forward.ny.gov.[Do NOT reopen New York City yet - too many idiots.]
2. The number of total COVID hospitalizations continues to decline. Total hospitalizations are at 4,208, from 4,265 the day before. The number of new COVID hospitalizations fell to 181, from 201 the day before. Tragically, we lost 74 New Yorkers to the virus yesterday. [You know things are awful when 74 deaths seems pretty low. We were up at close to a 1000 a day for a while there.]
3. I am calling on the U.S. Senate to pass a COVID relief bill that helps all Americans and provides fiscal support to states. State and local governments have seen revenues go down and costs go up due to COVID — we need federal relief so that we can support hospitals, firefighters, teachers, police officers and other working Americans. In Washington D.C. today, I also met with President Trump and urged him to support a public infrastructure program to help supercharge the economy. We have shovel-ready projects in New York — all we need is federal approval. [Now, if the Senate would just pass it instead of constantly bailing out private businesses.]
4. Remember to respond to the Census. Every New Yorker should respond to the Census — it is safe, easy and can be done online from the comfort of your own home. Let's make sure every New Yorker is counted. Complete the Census today at my2020census.gov. [Did that in April or March - I feel like I did with my tax returns. Yes, yes, done already. Can we move on, now? I do have to apply for absentee ballot by mail, but having troubles caring.]
5. If you have symptoms, get tested. There are over 760 locations in the state that offer testing — find one here. If you go to a testing site run by New York State, all testing is free of charge. If you are getting a test at a site operated by local governments, private companies including pharmacies and medical practices or not-for-profit organizations, you are advised to check with the testing site and your own health plan in advance of being tested to confirm you will not be responsible for any fee.[I kid you not, New York is test happy. They keep telling everyone to get tested. Every day, by hook nook and crook.]
6. New York rest stops, text stops and welcome centers remain open. Rest rooms, gas and vending machines continue to be available — and enhanced cleaning measures have been implemented. New Yorkers should continue to wear a mask in public, including rest areas.[You'd think with all this cleaning going on and the lack of disinfectants, New York would be cleaner - it's not. Although I admittedly have not exactly traveled anywhere recently.]
This made me laugh - So I left it outside the cut.
Tonight's "Deep Breath Moment": Finley, a 6-year-old Golden Retriever from Canandaigua, NY, was recognized by Guinness World Records for being able to hold six tennis balls in his mouth with no assistance — shattering the previous record of five tennis balls. Congratulations to this very good boy on his world record.
The poor Governor, he is trying really hard to keep the moral up.