I guess from your arguments, it appeared that you were heavily invested in the B/A romance and didn't like that the show wasn't following through on that relationship and had chosen instead to go in another direction or undercut it? Anyhow sorry that I misunderstood you. And thank you for taking the time to clarify.
I think we have to tolerate the fact that people do not share our interests. That we are interested in different things. And what may have bored the socks off you, will turn someone else on and vice versa. The difficulty, and I am as guilty of this as you are, is not to judge someone who likes things we hate or that bore us, too harshly. For example - I admittedly have as cranky a relationship with B/A shippers as you appear to have with B/S shippers. ;-) (Which does make discussions on lj, fanboards, and the like dicey at times.)
As for Buffy, I think I'm reading the show differently than you are? And wanting different things from it? And as a result, may be enjoying it more? Because it is giving me what I need. I don't know.
Just finished Lover's Walk, a brilliant episode - in it we see what attracted Buffy to Angel and vice versa - and why they aren't together when Buffy becomes an adult and never will be. If you want to know why - it's said pretty clearly in Lover's Walk.
We fall in love with or become friends with people, tv shows, books, etc.. who give us something we want and need. When they stop providing us with that something or when we finally come to grips with the fact that they can't ever give it to us and are not who we thought they were, the relationship falls apart.
Buffy says to Angel at the end of Lover's Walk - I can't be with you, I can't ever have what I want from you. It is a speech she gives him in different ways across four seasons. And likewise, Buffy cannot give Angel what he wants, he will never get from Buffy what Cordy gives him in LA.
In the episode Ted - Ted wants a woman who will stay with him, care for him, support him, and cater to his needs. His wife left him when he got cancer. So he made a robot Ted to get her back. He could not accept the fact that she could not give him what he needed. Could not be what he thought she was. And he in turn could not be what she needed.
Relationships are successful when both parties get what they want from the relationship, and see each other clearly, without projecting their own desires/fantasies onto each other. When they can tolerate each others short-comings, compromise, and realize that even though they aren't getting everything they may desire from the relationship - they are getting what they need from it - and that is enough.
The difference between a mature and immature relationship or lust/infatuation vs. love - is when the two parties see each other as they truly are and not what they want each other to be, and accept each other as they are, faults intact. Love can't happen at first sight - that is physical attraction. You have to have trust, you have to know the person - see them at their worst and their best and still forgive their faults, for real lasting love to happen.
Giles and Jenny have that type of relationship in Season 2, it is done in sketches, as do Tara and Willow in Season 6, and Willow and Kennedy in the comic books. They are to date the only ones who we see with that type of relationship, (with the possible exception of Buffy and Spike by the very end of S7 and Angel/Cordy in S3, before she is taken from him - but I know you vehmentally disagree with me on that point and I really see nothing to be gained in arguing it. Since the characters cannot be together, because they are both, to a degree an adult retelling, at least that is how I see it again your mileage may differ, of the B/A relationship.)
no subject
I think we have to tolerate the fact that people do not share our interests. That we are interested in different things. And what may have bored the socks off you, will turn someone else on and vice versa. The difficulty, and I am as guilty of this as you are, is not to judge someone who likes things we hate or that bore us, too harshly. For example - I admittedly have as cranky a relationship with B/A shippers as you appear to have with B/S shippers. ;-) (Which does make discussions on lj, fanboards, and the like dicey at times.)
As for Buffy, I think I'm reading the show differently than you are? And wanting different things from it? And as a result, may be enjoying it more? Because it is giving me what I need. I don't know.
Just finished Lover's Walk, a brilliant episode - in it we see what attracted Buffy to Angel and vice versa - and why they aren't together when Buffy becomes an adult and never will be. If you want to know why - it's said pretty clearly in Lover's Walk.
We fall in love with or become friends with people, tv shows, books, etc.. who give us something we want and need. When they stop providing us with that something or when we finally come to grips with the fact that they can't ever give it to us and are not who we thought they were, the relationship falls apart.
Buffy says to Angel at the end of Lover's Walk - I can't be with you, I can't ever have what I want from you. It is a speech she gives him in different ways across four seasons. And likewise, Buffy cannot give Angel what he wants, he will never get from Buffy what Cordy gives him in LA.
In the episode Ted - Ted wants a woman who will stay with him, care for him, support him, and cater to his needs. His wife left him when he got cancer. So he made a robot Ted to get her back. He could not accept the fact that she could not give him what he needed. Could not be what he thought she was. And he in turn could not be what she needed.
Relationships are successful when both parties get what they want from the relationship, and see each other clearly, without projecting their own desires/fantasies onto each other. When they can tolerate each others short-comings, compromise, and realize that even though they aren't getting everything they may desire from the relationship - they are getting what they need from it - and that is enough.
The difference between a mature and immature relationship or lust/infatuation vs. love - is when the two parties see each other as they truly are and not what they want each other to be, and accept each other as they are, faults intact. Love can't happen at first sight - that is physical attraction.
You have to have trust, you have to know the person - see them at their worst and their best and still forgive their faults, for real lasting love to happen.
Giles and Jenny have that type of relationship in Season 2, it is done in sketches, as do Tara and Willow in Season 6, and
Willow and Kennedy in the comic books. They are to date the only ones who we see with that type of relationship, (with the possible exception of Buffy and Spike by the very end of S7 and Angel/Cordy in S3, before she is taken from him - but I know you vehmentally disagree with me on that point and I really see nothing to be gained in arguing it. Since the characters cannot be together, because they are both, to a degree an adult retelling, at least that is how I see it again your mileage may differ, of the B/A relationship.)