My difficulties with Home and Angel as related to others above...and I apparently didn't clarify in my post...are very personal. Willow's memory wipes of Tara I could handle - because they were temporary. And Tabula Rasa - was just funny and also temporary, nothing changed, except Tara left Willow and Willow was called out on her behavior.

With Angel..in Home. He alters his friends and the world's memories of events, in much the same way the Monks did with Buffy's friends. Except in some respects this is far worse...because they lose the lessons they learned. We learn from other's mistakes. And one memory unravels others.

For me, memory manipulation is a huge trigger. Our memories are who we are. To remove memories from someone changes them. It's similar to a lobotomy.
To me that's a rape.

It felt like Angel rewrote Connor to be the son he wanted, the son he would be proud of, instead of the son that he felt guilty about, ashamed of, and had to put in prison or kill. I'm not sure that's really love. At any rate, that's what bothered me.

The post was really about how we see things differently and why. Thank you so much for your response. You clearly understood the thrust of my post and I highly appreciate it!