Okay, I get the difference in triggers, and why it's personal for you. And of course we all see different shows.
However:
But at the end, I can't get past the fact that he altered the memories to alter his son's history, so his son could be a different person - the son he could be proud of, and could love.
Question: you didn't think he loved Connor before? I don't mean the baby, I mean teenage Connor. Because I would say that there are only two times where Angel instead of trying to win teenage Connor over (the hard way you say he didn't take) rejected him. Once was after he returned from under the sea (the "I love you, now get out" scene), and I'd see three months in a condition that's pure torture are an excuse for that, and the other time, which is the one time where I'd say Angel does fail Connor, after saving him from the zombie outing at Wolfram and Harts and then stepping away after Connor approaches him because this is just after Angel has seen him with Cordelia. In all the other episodes between Benediction and Home, it's Angel attempting to be there for Connor and reaching out to him.
Secondly: I haven't watched Home for a while, so I might be wrong there, but as I recall it, we don't actually find out whether the entire changed memory/memories part was Angel's idea or already part of Lilah's offer. (Again, I may remember wrongly, but to my knowledge we cut we go from Lilah switching on the screen to show Angel Connor to wherever Connor is about to blow everyone up, with possibly a Gunn or Fred scene in between.) Honestly, I could buy it either way - that Lilah only said "we help you save your son, not just right now but permanently" without specifying anything, or that Lilah said "we'll give your son an entire new life". Either way, though: it's not like Angel has time to think long and hard about the whole affair. Because there is an immediate life threatening situation, with Cordelia's and the bystanders' lives at stake in addition to Connor's. He has to make a decision then and there, and he makes it.
Could he have gone back on the deal after that immediate danger was removed? Absolutely. And he didn't, which is his responsiblity. Where we disagree is his motivation for keeping up said deal. You see it as Angel taking the easy way and being selfish, I see it as Angel taking one of two hard ways (because until Origin, he has no expectation of ever seeing Connor again, which the show certainly sold me on being terrible for him, and as far as other benefits are concerned, he certainly was far happier not being CEO of Wolfram and Hart) and being selfless. I'm not saying I don't see Angel as selfish in many other ways. (Including IWRY. God, yes.) But not in this particular decision.
no subject
However:
But at the end, I can't get past the fact that he altered the memories to alter his son's history, so his son could be a different person - the son he could be proud of, and could love.
Question: you didn't think he loved Connor before? I don't mean the baby, I mean teenage Connor. Because I would say that there are only two times where Angel instead of trying to win teenage Connor over (the hard way you say he didn't take) rejected him. Once was after he returned from under the sea (the "I love you, now get out" scene), and I'd see three months in a condition that's pure torture are an excuse for that, and the other time, which is the one time where I'd say Angel does fail Connor, after saving him from the zombie outing at Wolfram and Harts and then stepping away after Connor approaches him because this is just after Angel has seen him with Cordelia. In all the other episodes between Benediction and Home, it's Angel attempting to be there for Connor and reaching out to him.
Secondly: I haven't watched Home for a while, so I might be wrong there, but as I recall it, we don't actually find out whether the entire changed memory/memories part was Angel's idea or already part of Lilah's offer. (Again, I may remember wrongly, but to my knowledge we cut we go from Lilah switching on the screen to show Angel Connor to wherever Connor is about to blow everyone up, with possibly a Gunn or Fred scene in between.) Honestly, I could buy it either way - that Lilah only said "we help you save your son, not just right now but permanently" without specifying anything, or that Lilah said "we'll give your son an entire new life". Either way, though: it's not like Angel has time to think long and hard about the whole affair. Because there is an immediate life threatening situation, with Cordelia's and the bystanders' lives at stake in addition to Connor's. He has to make a decision then and there, and he makes it.
Could he have gone back on the deal after that immediate danger was removed? Absolutely. And he didn't, which is his responsiblity. Where we disagree is his motivation for keeping up said deal. You see it as Angel taking the easy way and being selfish, I see it as Angel taking one of two hard ways (because until Origin, he has no expectation of ever seeing Connor again, which the show certainly sold me on being terrible for him, and as far as other benefits are concerned, he certainly was far happier not being CEO of Wolfram and Hart) and being selfless. I'm not saying I don't see Angel as selfish in many other ways. (Including IWRY. God, yes.) But not in this particular decision.