I think it is personal. For me the spiritual violation and mental one is harder to deal with than the physical, mainly because I live in my mind more than my body and am not a physical being.
Willow was easier to handle - because what she does, while similar to Angel - Willow like Angel often chose short-cuts or called on other powers to aid her - was less permanent. What Angel does to Buffy in IWARY is permanent. He takes a day from her life. If she remembered that day..she may have acted differently towards Riley, she may have understood that a relationship with Riley may not work. Or been more careful about things. She never gets to learn. It's erased. Only Angel gets to learn and enjoy the memory. And with Home, like you stated he steals a lifetime from Connor and various memories of the boy from his friends. He does what Willow does in both Tabula Rasa and All the Way but times three. And unlike Willow - he never regrets it. He would do it again. He sees it as the "only" way or the "best" way. And attempts to stop Wes from breaking the window - which reveals all of memories to everyone.
Willow at least appears to learn from her mistakes.
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I think it is personal. For me the spiritual violation and mental one is harder to deal with than the physical, mainly because I live in my mind more than my body and am not a physical being.
Willow was easier to handle - because what she does, while similar to Angel - Willow like Angel often chose short-cuts or called on other powers to aid her - was less permanent. What Angel does to Buffy in IWARY is permanent. He takes a day from her life. If she remembered that day..she may have acted differently towards Riley, she may have understood that a relationship with Riley may not work. Or been more careful about things. She never gets to learn. It's erased. Only Angel gets to learn and enjoy the memory. And with Home, like you stated he steals a lifetime from Connor and various memories of the boy from his friends. He does what Willow does in both Tabula Rasa and All the Way but times three. And unlike Willow - he never regrets it. He would do it again. He sees it as the "only" way or the "best" way. And attempts to stop Wes from breaking the window - which reveals all of memories to everyone.
Willow at least appears to learn from her mistakes.