Spontaneous Musings

That makes sense. And in a lot of ways we see this with all characters - that how genuinely they feel loved determines how much they trust themselves which determines how early corrupted or duped they are. Ultimately, the characters who did have unconditional love from a parent (mother) are Buffy, Dawn, Tara, William, and Tara. The periods in which these characters, especially Spike, are unable to function are those in which they doubt that love - until Spike consciously recognizes that his mother did love him, and that what she said after he turned her did not really represent her true view of him, that he can escape the First's conditioning. With Xander, Willow, and Anya, I think they manage to heal themselves by season seven by loving each other (Xander giving Willow truly unconditional love, which helps both of them, and then standing by Anya even when she's a killer) - but they were terribly self-less, making them (especially Willow and Anya) very dangerous. Wesley, Cordelia and Angel largely don't - perhaps because they have no one to serve as a guide, and the closest was probably Fred, who died.Gunn I am not so certain about - he seems slightly more together then Wes or Angel in NFA, and maybe closet to Spike - but he has for the second time seen a loved woman transform into a monster (his sister, Fred) and I'm not sure whether he is able to love himself at the very end of his story. Before Fred's death he was chasing external rewards, partly I suspect because of inadequacy related to his breakup with Fred and falling out with Wesley. He had a violent upbringing and the only source of love when we met him seemed to be his sister. His having to kill his sister is a bit like William and his mother - but she didn't reject him, he 'rejected' her, just as it's ultimately Gunn who cut Wes out of his life and who broke up with Fred to prevent her from dumping him (and killed her professor to prevent her from doing it). I wonder if he doubts his ability to love.

I'm on my phone so sorry if there are any mistakes!