yep, I have that too, bullies are, even know that I'm no longer their target, people I deeply despise. It's the quickest way to make a bad impression on me that I'll not get over.
You were 12. What could you have done? Outside of telling a parent or teacher (assuming there was one you were comfortable enough with to tell). And I'm guessing at 12 - you were probably struggling with fear towards the boy, and anger at the girl.
I could have gotten what happened and yes, told a grown up. I guess teachers were out of question, but my family was trustworthy and I just guarded the secret along with the others.
It wasn't so much that I was afraid of him, my hatred for this people was totally self destructive at that point and physically I could take him, he was 12 too after all.
It was more that I didn't really get what had happened. She had gone down to the boys room to visit him and then came back crying, saying that they had slept together. She had pressed up against him to hide from a teacher and then his cock got the better of him and though she said "not now" and all the guys were watching (one having at least the sense to offer a condom, which the dude didn't take) they had sex.
She was crying but she didn't realize that this was rape herself at the time (and he sure as hell didn't). She wasn't pretty, she had loudly proclaimed to want him. She hadn't tried to physically fight him (she was bigger than him).
On the next day she was back to joking with the same guys who had stood by and watched. It was her coping mechanism, stupid as I was I thought she really wasn't affected, but of course she was, her grades took a nose dive that year and she fluked the grade.
To the day I'm happy that at least nothing like that happened to me.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-10-14 06:16 pm (UTC)yep, I have that too, bullies are, even know that I'm no longer their target, people I deeply despise. It's the quickest way to make a bad impression on me that I'll not get over.
You were 12. What could you have done? Outside of telling a parent or teacher (assuming there was one you were comfortable enough with to tell). And I'm guessing at 12 - you were probably struggling with fear towards the boy, and anger at the girl.
I could have gotten what happened and yes, told a grown up. I guess teachers were out of question, but my family was trustworthy and I just guarded the secret along with the others.
It wasn't so much that I was afraid of him, my hatred for this people was totally self destructive at that point and physically I could take him, he was 12 too after all.
It was more that I didn't really get what had happened. She had gone down to the boys room to visit him and then came back crying, saying that they had slept together.
She had pressed up against him to hide from a teacher and then his cock got the better of him and though she said "not now" and all the guys were watching (one having at least the sense to offer a condom, which the dude didn't take) they had sex.
She was crying but she didn't realize that this was rape herself at the time (and he sure as hell didn't). She wasn't pretty, she had loudly proclaimed to want him. She hadn't tried to physically fight him (she was bigger than him).
On the next day she was back to joking with the same guys who had stood by and watched. It was her coping mechanism, stupid as I was I thought she really wasn't affected, but of course she was, her grades took a nose dive that year and she fluked the grade.
To the day I'm happy that at least nothing like that happened to me.