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shadowkat1. Fiddling with a story in my head that just won't come out. It's about a woman who dismantled bombs inside human beings (suicide bombers) in Afghanistan, Iraq and the Middle East, who is traumatized by it and in a round about way reunites with her first love, former fiance, a night club/bdsm sex club owner. He thought she was dead. In a way she is. And yes, I've probably been reading too many romance novels and feel a desire to improve upon the genre, by flipping the trope. Usually the guy is the ex-solider, and the woman is the night-club owner. She's also African-American but can pass for white (daughter of a pro-football player who dies from a brain aneurysm, and a fashion model mother), while he's white. She'd gone to med school to become a neurosurgeon, but falls into the field of dismantling bombs. Not sure it works. I have to play with it for a bit. May cut the sex club stuff -- although I like the angle of losing oneself in sex addiction to deal with trauma. (Met a few online folks and offline folks who've gone down that road with mixed results.) Drugs have been done to death.
So am writing it, even though already have three other stories in the midst of writing and in various stages of development. Maybe some day I'll publish one of them?
I keep telling myself writing them down, even if they go nowhere, is not a waste of my time. I like writing. It frees me somehow...or clears my head. Hard to explain to people who don't like it.
It bothered me a little that the thing I wrote, which the most people read, is what I'm least proud of. Actually a little embarrassed about. (Buffy Meta, tons and tons and tons of Buffy meta -- I wrote the equivalent of three five hundred page books of Buffy meta. It's all available somewhere online, in all it's unedited splendor. Note to self -- betas are your friends, get their help. Okay as an aside, the reason I haven't had my work betaed -- is fear. I don't ask for help well. I hate to impose on folks, am worried about being rejected or criticized, and I don't want to beta in return. I suck at betaeing...I did it a few times for others. Did it for DeadSoul, and for the book Mrs. Churchill's Secretary...but I'm not really a line-editor, I'm more of a story-smith. I see what works and what doesn't in stories. I'm good at reading the pattern of the story. Most people seem to want a line-editor not a story smith.)
I say I'm not really fannish. But this isn't true. I just express it differently. I tend to write lots of meta about it. Some people write fic, some do fanvids, some art, I write meta or essays. For some reason I like to pick it apart.
It is what is.
Hmmm...sorry, probably should be less critical of myself. Headspace meditation today talked about not judging one's thoughts or interests too much and just letting it be.
2. Lucifer
I liked this week's better than last week's. Also Welling was rather good in it this week. It focused on a hard-core favorite story trope/kink of mine -- brother relationships. I have a thing regarding sibling relationships.
* Not sure who to root for in the Amen and Caine (Pierce) fight. Eh, Amen. I like him better, even if he can be annoyingly smug and self-righteous at times. (DB Woodside is perfect casting for that role by the way, no one plays smug and self-righteous better than DB. I think this may be his best role to date or most complex.) But he is getting heavier -- I remember he being thinner and hotter in Buffy.
(Just because I despised the character he played in Buffy, does not mean I did not think he was hot.)
Did love the fight though. Mainly because a few telling tid-bits were revealed during it.
Caine: At least I was willing to do the dirty work myself. You got someone else to kill your brother.
How'd that work out for you by the way? Did you get what you deserved?
Hmmm....maybe that's why Amen lost his wings, powers and became mortal? He brought a soul out of hell to kill Lucifer and had succeeded.
The fact that Caine knew about it was interesting. Also, the fact that Caine figured out Amen was the one who cursed him the first place, was interesting. Caine is an interesting character. Also he doesn't appear to care all the much about human life. Or does he?
* Loved the Dr. Linda scenes. Her interaction with Charlotte and with Lucifer was among the best bits of the show.
* Ella was great in this episode, less over the top and more like she was last season. Adored Ella and Maze, which revealed more about both, particularly Maze. Who has a lot of family, but no one who stands up for her. But she saved Ella's life -- and feels close to this new human family.
The idea of how some family isn't there for you at all, while other's are.
Lucifer weirdly has a much more loving family than some of the other characters. As does Ella in her own way. Dekker wishes she had a sibling. While Maze could do without hers.
* I could do without the dumb procedural plotlines that I can't follow and get bored during. It drags down the show. The strength is the supernatural bits. Oh well, at least it only tied up half the cast.
* I'm guessing the serial killer storyline (aka Sinnerman storyline) was resolved completely with the reveal of Caine. And has been dropped. Yet, it did reveal one thing -- that the show appears to be making light of -- Caine's adopted son was the Sinnerman/serial killer on his orders. Caine was doing the killings in order to smoke out Lucifer and Dekker and get himself killed. He even tells them that he's the Sinnerman at one point -- "The Sinnerman killed my brother. I want to kill him." Meaning himself.
So we basically have an immortal serial killer wandering about? Or a man who inspires them? And this is part of God's plan?
Alrighty then.
* Why does Lucifer act like an annoying idiot around Chloe Dekker, but not around everyone else?
He's smart and insightful around Dr. Linda, Pierce, Maze, Ella, and Amen.
Hmm.
It'll be back in three weeks. Going on hiatus most likely for the Winter Olympics or the National College Basketball playoffs. Not to mention awards shows. This always happens in the end of February sweeps.
There's so many television shows on at the moment, it's hard to care. I just get to catch up on the rest of them.
3. Ghosts on FB.
Facebook keeps reminding me that today would have been my friend Maribeth Martell akaembers_log birthday. She was 62 when she died several years ago. I met her in the Buffy fandom, saw a show with her when she came to NY, and we sent Christmas and Birthday gifts to each other.
She was a huge fan of science fiction, fantasy, Terry Prachett, Joss Whedon, and went to numerous conventions -- designing her own costumes. A skilled artist, she created diverse works of art -- via costume design, fanart on post-cards, and ceramics. She also worked for the Regan Administration in the Treasury department back in the 1980s. Although she was a liberal Democrat, an atheist, and a Buddhist. She practiced meditation, visited family and friends around the country -- and brought joy to most of the people she knew.
We drifted apart a bit before she died. So I didn't find out she was dead until I checked her Facebook page, hoping to see what she was doing and to try and reconnect. She died of colitis - an infection in the bowels. Similar to what killed one of my great aunts.
It was sudden.
I still miss her presence online, and her sense of humor. But know she's at peace now.
So Happy Birthday Maribeth. I remember you fondly and always will. (And so, does the internet apparently.)
So am writing it, even though already have three other stories in the midst of writing and in various stages of development. Maybe some day I'll publish one of them?
I keep telling myself writing them down, even if they go nowhere, is not a waste of my time. I like writing. It frees me somehow...or clears my head. Hard to explain to people who don't like it.
It bothered me a little that the thing I wrote, which the most people read, is what I'm least proud of. Actually a little embarrassed about. (Buffy Meta, tons and tons and tons of Buffy meta -- I wrote the equivalent of three five hundred page books of Buffy meta. It's all available somewhere online, in all it's unedited splendor. Note to self -- betas are your friends, get their help. Okay as an aside, the reason I haven't had my work betaed -- is fear. I don't ask for help well. I hate to impose on folks, am worried about being rejected or criticized, and I don't want to beta in return. I suck at betaeing...I did it a few times for others. Did it for DeadSoul, and for the book Mrs. Churchill's Secretary...but I'm not really a line-editor, I'm more of a story-smith. I see what works and what doesn't in stories. I'm good at reading the pattern of the story. Most people seem to want a line-editor not a story smith.)
I say I'm not really fannish. But this isn't true. I just express it differently. I tend to write lots of meta about it. Some people write fic, some do fanvids, some art, I write meta or essays. For some reason I like to pick it apart.
It is what is.
Hmmm...sorry, probably should be less critical of myself. Headspace meditation today talked about not judging one's thoughts or interests too much and just letting it be.
2. Lucifer
I liked this week's better than last week's. Also Welling was rather good in it this week. It focused on a hard-core favorite story trope/kink of mine -- brother relationships. I have a thing regarding sibling relationships.
* Not sure who to root for in the Amen and Caine (Pierce) fight. Eh, Amen. I like him better, even if he can be annoyingly smug and self-righteous at times. (DB Woodside is perfect casting for that role by the way, no one plays smug and self-righteous better than DB. I think this may be his best role to date or most complex.) But he is getting heavier -- I remember he being thinner and hotter in Buffy.
(Just because I despised the character he played in Buffy, does not mean I did not think he was hot.)
Did love the fight though. Mainly because a few telling tid-bits were revealed during it.
Caine: At least I was willing to do the dirty work myself. You got someone else to kill your brother.
How'd that work out for you by the way? Did you get what you deserved?
Hmmm....maybe that's why Amen lost his wings, powers and became mortal? He brought a soul out of hell to kill Lucifer and had succeeded.
The fact that Caine knew about it was interesting. Also, the fact that Caine figured out Amen was the one who cursed him the first place, was interesting. Caine is an interesting character. Also he doesn't appear to care all the much about human life. Or does he?
* Loved the Dr. Linda scenes. Her interaction with Charlotte and with Lucifer was among the best bits of the show.
* Ella was great in this episode, less over the top and more like she was last season. Adored Ella and Maze, which revealed more about both, particularly Maze. Who has a lot of family, but no one who stands up for her. But she saved Ella's life -- and feels close to this new human family.
The idea of how some family isn't there for you at all, while other's are.
Lucifer weirdly has a much more loving family than some of the other characters. As does Ella in her own way. Dekker wishes she had a sibling. While Maze could do without hers.
* I could do without the dumb procedural plotlines that I can't follow and get bored during. It drags down the show. The strength is the supernatural bits. Oh well, at least it only tied up half the cast.
* I'm guessing the serial killer storyline (aka Sinnerman storyline) was resolved completely with the reveal of Caine. And has been dropped. Yet, it did reveal one thing -- that the show appears to be making light of -- Caine's adopted son was the Sinnerman/serial killer on his orders. Caine was doing the killings in order to smoke out Lucifer and Dekker and get himself killed. He even tells them that he's the Sinnerman at one point -- "The Sinnerman killed my brother. I want to kill him." Meaning himself.
So we basically have an immortal serial killer wandering about? Or a man who inspires them? And this is part of God's plan?
Alrighty then.
* Why does Lucifer act like an annoying idiot around Chloe Dekker, but not around everyone else?
He's smart and insightful around Dr. Linda, Pierce, Maze, Ella, and Amen.
Hmm.
It'll be back in three weeks. Going on hiatus most likely for the Winter Olympics or the National College Basketball playoffs. Not to mention awards shows. This always happens in the end of February sweeps.
There's so many television shows on at the moment, it's hard to care. I just get to catch up on the rest of them.
3. Ghosts on FB.
Facebook keeps reminding me that today would have been my friend Maribeth Martell aka
embers_log birthday. She was 62 when she died several years ago. I met her in the Buffy fandom, saw a show with her when she came to NY, and we sent Christmas and Birthday gifts to each other.She was a huge fan of science fiction, fantasy, Terry Prachett, Joss Whedon, and went to numerous conventions -- designing her own costumes. A skilled artist, she created diverse works of art -- via costume design, fanart on post-cards, and ceramics. She also worked for the Regan Administration in the Treasury department back in the 1980s. Although she was a liberal Democrat, an atheist, and a Buddhist. She practiced meditation, visited family and friends around the country -- and brought joy to most of the people she knew.
We drifted apart a bit before she died. So I didn't find out she was dead until I checked her Facebook page, hoping to see what she was doing and to try and reconnect. She died of colitis - an infection in the bowels. Similar to what killed one of my great aunts.
It was sudden.
I still miss her presence online, and her sense of humor. But know she's at peace now.
So Happy Birthday Maribeth. I remember you fondly and always will. (And so, does the internet apparently.)