shadowkat: (Peanuts Me)
[personal profile] shadowkat
Lazy day for the most part. I finished watching Lucifer S5 Part 1 and eh...review will be in separate post. Also spoke to mother, and a member of the Caring Ministry of my church reached out to me - as a direct result of the FB plea for prayers and good thoughts to be sent to my ailing father.

And, I took a short walk around Greenwood Cemetery - about an hour and a half, as opposed to three and half hours, like yesterday. It's more of a park to be honest. Built on the Victorian model of a Cemetery.



The walk did me good. Still battling the mosquito bites from yesterday. Also I apparently have a tan from all the walking I've been doing around the cemetery.

Trying not to think about work-related stresses. Or my frustrations regarding them. The biggest problem about the horror comedy that is 2020 is the lack of control. I feel as if my life is in the hands of others, many of whom...I would like to punch in the nose.

It's made me a little snappish at times, I'm afraid. If I have snapped at you online, I do apologize.

There were less maskless wonders out and about this evening. And the postal guy was wearing a mask tonight.

It made me feel a bit safer, and less gaslit.




I bought more masks. I have a growing collection of utilitarian masks. Not fashion masks. I'm not into fashion. Comfort yes. Fashion, no.

But it is amusing to see how the fashion industry has embraced mask-making. All the big guys are doing it now - from Levi to Vida to The Gap.

The cemetery is the only place I can walk outside of my apartment without one. When I go back to the office - my mother wants me to wear a mask the whole time, even in the cubicle. We've been told that the office has a new air filitration system. I'm still praying that they will come to an agreement and let go of this stupid seniority thing.




Hold over picture from yesterday - of an angel looking out over a lake.
Today was even more beautiful and cooler. But there were more people in the Cemetery - even at 5PM. So I didn't spend as much time there. I managed to avoid the people, by wandering along cobblestone paths. Lots of couples.
I wish the couples would go somewhere else, but I understand why they are there - for the same reasons I am.

My Bible Study Group was amusing me this week.

Rev: I'd like to rejoin (after her six month sabbatical) and can more people join.
Everyone but B: Of course, no problem.
B: But, shouldn't we have a limit of the number of people, I'm afraid it will get too big.

Really? I mean it's not like we all show on any continuous basis. Everyone has skipped at least six or seven meetings due to forgetfulness, being overwhelmed, too tired, vacation or sabbaticals.

Rev: Well, we can tell them to make the same commitment we all did - which is to make an commitment to attend two sessions a month.
[Right. As if anyone in this group has stuck to that commitment. The Rev only attended one meeting a month (old testament, she doesn't like the new testament for some reason) and took off from Feb to well Oct..she's coming back in Oct.]
M: That's a good idea, plus add a third book for discussion.
[M took off for six months to tend to her father and didn't rejoin until April.]
Rev: I left NW off because not sure she wants to be a member.
Nweathers: She does! She Does!
[NW attended one or two sessions in the fall and dropped out.]

[I asked to leave in Feb, and they ignored my request. I kept getting emails. And when I came back, they welcomed me back. They also rescheduled a meeting last week - and I didn't get the notice - because they rescheduled it an hour before the meeting. Also every single member of the group has flaked on a meeting. Every one. This discussion is stupid. B just wants to have control - she doesn't, M took over.]

Years ago, I had the following discussion with the Belly Dancer.

Me: You should try our church.
Belly Dancer: I have issues with organized religion.
Me: Well, they aren't really that organized. They try, it just doesn't quite work.
Belly Dancer laughs her head off.

It's true, they aren't. They mean well. But every group I've ever joined in it kind of unravels. No one likes to follow rules - Unitarians aren't exactly into authority - that's why they are Unitarians. I mean seriously, they fight over semantics. The good news is they are inclusive. Or try to be. Most religions aren't - that's my problem with most religions, the exclusivity.

Religion (take your pick): "Oh, poor me, I am so disenfrancized and discriminated against."
Me: Yeah, well, you are also a big uncompromising bully to everyone who doesn't agree with you or believe the same way you do, not to mention exclusive, and discriminating. Maybe if you were a little more accommodating to others, less of a bully, and less discriminating - you'd be experiencing a tad less religious intolerance.

Anyhow, my society (they don't want to be called a church) was very kind to me today. And they've repeatedly checked up on me and reached out to me since March.



Little less stressed. A little less scared. A little less ...lonely.

One day at a time. That's all I can do is one day at a time.

It's all any of us can do.


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