I also totally agree about finding it SO difficult to meet new friends as an adult. You and your mom qualified it as "in the US" - is it easier elsewhere?
I don't know. My impression is that it is easier in certain areas or communities - where people are outside more, and more interactive. Also where transportation is less "car" oriented and more walking and public transportation across the board. Plus, areas where people don't move around quite as much?
But I don't know. It's not been easy anywhere that I've lived in the US - which is a lot of places, all vastly different. I actually find it easier in NY than it was in Kansas City, but that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm very non-mainstream, and Kansas City is very mainstream. I'm kind of quirky - so did not fit in in Kansas, at all. NY - I fit in better.
Part of it is that I'm not someone who is going to strike up a conversation with strangers in a line at the store (and come out of it with a job offer - as is how Bossman ended up in our company after a casual conversation with the CEO in line at Costco)
Yep, I can't do that either. I usually annoy folks when I talk to them in line. Or if I don't and we get along - we don't exchange numbers. And I never follow up well. I'm really bad at following up with folks. And/or initiating things. I'm not the sort of person who makes a good first impression, I usually just grow on people...after they get to know me. I take a while to get to know.
When I do meet someone interesting in a social situation - I never do know how to follow up and make it something that happens a second time?
Same. I tried meetup groups - and ran into that situation repeatedly. We'd connect, but I never knew how to follow up. I seem to be very good at making connections with folks online, or on social media. I have a lot of social media friends. I think the reason for this - is I'm more comfortable interacting through writing, then I am orally. I can edit myself. And can see what I'm saying. Oral communication is more difficult, and more likely to make mistakes. (I have foot in mouth disease.)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2022-04-07 11:10 pm (UTC)I don't know. My impression is that it is easier in certain areas or communities - where people are outside more, and more interactive. Also where transportation is less "car" oriented and more walking and public transportation across the board. Plus, areas where people don't move around quite as much?
But I don't know. It's not been easy anywhere that I've lived in the US - which is a lot of places, all vastly different. I actually find it easier in NY than it was in Kansas City, but that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm very non-mainstream, and Kansas City is very mainstream. I'm kind of quirky - so did not fit in in Kansas, at all. NY - I fit in better.
Part of it is that I'm not someone who is going to strike up a conversation with strangers in a line at the store (and come out of it with a job offer - as is how Bossman ended up in our company after a casual conversation with the CEO in line at Costco)
Yep, I can't do that either. I usually annoy folks when I talk to them in line. Or if I don't and we get along - we don't exchange numbers. And I never follow up well. I'm really bad at following up with folks. And/or initiating things. I'm not the sort of person who makes a good first impression, I usually just grow on people...after they get to know me. I take a while to get to know.
When I do meet someone interesting in a social situation - I never do know how to follow up and make it something that happens a second time?
Same. I tried meetup groups - and ran into that situation repeatedly. We'd connect, but I never knew how to follow up. I seem to be very good at making connections with folks online, or on social media. I have a lot of social media friends. I think the reason for this - is I'm more comfortable interacting through writing, then I am orally. I can edit myself. And can see what I'm saying. Oral communication is more difficult, and more likely to make mistakes. (I have foot in mouth disease.)