(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2022 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatArchiving on Ao3 is kind of fun. I just archived a meta/post about When Professional Writers interact with Fans - Things Can Go Wonky, and the original live journal post can be found here complete with the comment thread (which is even more interesting and I embedded into the Ao3 entry for a historical record - well for the most part at any rate).
It's the reason that I do not respond to negative reviews of my own creative fictional work - or positive reviews. It's best not to respond at all, actually. Pretend you haven't read them. If you respond, you draw attention to the negative review. If you ignore it - it goes away. Well, it doesn't go away, exactly, but it is less visible.
There was also a link to RaceFail history - which can be found HERE. I chose not to include that in the Ao3 post, mainly because it was a convoluted mess and trying to explain it would give me a headache. It was a kerfuffle that was in the online science fiction community between the sci-fi authors and their fans/critics - and arose because one "white" female author felt the need to write a "how to " post about writing the "other" in science fiction.
Various people, suffice it to say, did not take her "tutorial" well - and a fight broke out. This was back in the early 00s. So much has changed in the sci-fi community since then.
***
Co-workers or the lunch group that has a confab next to my cubical was discussing or debating "how people never change" again.
AA: People really don't change that much.
Mel: I don't know as they get older...
Me: Are you discussing the whole people don't change bit, again?
They laugh and look at me, the interloper.
Me: My take on this is? People usually do change over time, it's just that our perceptions of them don't always change.
They stare at me for a minute or two.
Then in unison: That's Deep. And probably...true. (Mel even nods with a smile.)
Me: I've been thinking about it since the last conversation and it occurred to me that perceptions don't change. We have a tendency to make up our minds about someone or decide to see them one way and get invested in that, and we never see them differently - while they actually have changed over time. But we don't see them all the time. And we show different aspects of ourselves to different people. So one person might see us as the same over time, while another will think we've changed a great deal.
They felt this was quite astute, and agreed with me. Either that - or they didn't want to waste time and energy arguing about it.
I've been getting along with my co-workers lately. And enjoying my job. I actually enjoy it, my work environment and co-workers more now than I did in 2018 or 2019, or even a year ago. I'm in a better place at work now than I was in 2021, 2020, 2019,2018, 2017, 2016 and prior to that. It's very odd. Everyone else looks stressed, and yet, I am oddly happy.
Oh well, enjoy it while it lasts, right?
***
I honestly don't know what to do with toilet lid. The boards are varnished and painted, and they laid on top of an active radiator in my bedroom for three years, under a heavy blanket, that was pure steam heat, and melted the paint behind it. So, I'm thinking they should be okay for a bit?
(Note, I don't own a car, and I do not live next to a great hardware store. There is one in my area, but the folks working there do not exactly speak English. Some days I forget I live in the US.)
Unless you are willing to send me a new toilet lid, I don't need any advice. I'm just whinging.
***
Niece decided to spend the day in the Swiss Alps with her boyfriend, while her parents toured Milan. This entailed traveling five hours by train to the Alps and back again, but it was a beautiful and stunning view. (I can see why her parents stayed in Milan.) Tomorrow everyone boards a plane, my brother and his wife are returning to the US, while niece is off to Athens, Greece with her boyfriend, they'll be flying back to Milan, and then back to London, to pick up her stuff, then back to the States.
(It's weirdly cheaper to do all of this then it is for me to fly to South Carolina or California or Seattle.)
It's the reason that I do not respond to negative reviews of my own creative fictional work - or positive reviews. It's best not to respond at all, actually. Pretend you haven't read them. If you respond, you draw attention to the negative review. If you ignore it - it goes away. Well, it doesn't go away, exactly, but it is less visible.
There was also a link to RaceFail history - which can be found HERE. I chose not to include that in the Ao3 post, mainly because it was a convoluted mess and trying to explain it would give me a headache. It was a kerfuffle that was in the online science fiction community between the sci-fi authors and their fans/critics - and arose because one "white" female author felt the need to write a "how to " post about writing the "other" in science fiction.
Various people, suffice it to say, did not take her "tutorial" well - and a fight broke out. This was back in the early 00s. So much has changed in the sci-fi community since then.
***
Co-workers or the lunch group that has a confab next to my cubical was discussing or debating "how people never change" again.
AA: People really don't change that much.
Mel: I don't know as they get older...
Me: Are you discussing the whole people don't change bit, again?
They laugh and look at me, the interloper.
Me: My take on this is? People usually do change over time, it's just that our perceptions of them don't always change.
They stare at me for a minute or two.
Then in unison: That's Deep. And probably...true. (Mel even nods with a smile.)
Me: I've been thinking about it since the last conversation and it occurred to me that perceptions don't change. We have a tendency to make up our minds about someone or decide to see them one way and get invested in that, and we never see them differently - while they actually have changed over time. But we don't see them all the time. And we show different aspects of ourselves to different people. So one person might see us as the same over time, while another will think we've changed a great deal.
They felt this was quite astute, and agreed with me. Either that - or they didn't want to waste time and energy arguing about it.
I've been getting along with my co-workers lately. And enjoying my job. I actually enjoy it, my work environment and co-workers more now than I did in 2018 or 2019, or even a year ago. I'm in a better place at work now than I was in 2021, 2020, 2019,2018, 2017, 2016 and prior to that. It's very odd. Everyone else looks stressed, and yet, I am oddly happy.
Oh well, enjoy it while it lasts, right?
***
I honestly don't know what to do with toilet lid. The boards are varnished and painted, and they laid on top of an active radiator in my bedroom for three years, under a heavy blanket, that was pure steam heat, and melted the paint behind it. So, I'm thinking they should be okay for a bit?
(Note, I don't own a car, and I do not live next to a great hardware store. There is one in my area, but the folks working there do not exactly speak English. Some days I forget I live in the US.)
Unless you are willing to send me a new toilet lid, I don't need any advice. I'm just whinging.
***
Niece decided to spend the day in the Swiss Alps with her boyfriend, while her parents toured Milan. This entailed traveling five hours by train to the Alps and back again, but it was a beautiful and stunning view. (I can see why her parents stayed in Milan.) Tomorrow everyone boards a plane, my brother and his wife are returning to the US, while niece is off to Athens, Greece with her boyfriend, they'll be flying back to Milan, and then back to London, to pick up her stuff, then back to the States.
(It's weirdly cheaper to do all of this then it is for me to fly to South Carolina or California or Seattle.)
no subject
Date: 2022-06-24 05:20 pm (UTC)I think you're on to something here! Especially the fact that you only see part of a person - especially if you know them in a particular context or have a certain relationship. I know my coworkers as adult peers -which is not how their parents or kids see them.
When I was at my brother's house, I kept being mildly surprised when he would do things like pull out the vacuum cleaner and vacuum the floor, or get up and cook a meal, or do a load of towels in the laundry. All normal things that I do - but not things that he did on his own, when he was a kid (the last time I lived with him). Somehow, even though I logically knew that he had been living on his own and is 44 years old and a grown ass adult - my mental expectations/perception are still stuck at the 16 year old who would only wash his own clothes, and who would throw sausages into the frying pan, crank it up on high, and then wander off for 30 minutes to play drums, while they burnt to a crisp :D
no subject
Date: 2022-06-25 12:48 am (UTC)I agree with this take. Usually, when we get an idea of a person, it doesn't go away easily, for better or for worse. And sometimes, when change is gradual and you see them frequently, it may not even hit but if you don't see someone for years, you're likely to notice the differences.
It's weirdly cheaper to do all of this then it is for me to fly to South Carolina or California or Seattle.
I've heard that once you get to Europe that it's cheaper to travel around. My friend and her sister both went to college in England and they just used to stick around during breaks and go other countries together rather than flying home because it was easier, more cost effective, and of course, fun.