My Evil Fanfic ..."Miss Edith's Revenge"

I've never really done this before. Written fanfiction solo. Would love feedback. It's a Work in Progress and my first solo attempt at writing fanfic on anything, so be kind. The only other time I've tried to write fanfic was as part of a collaboration.

So far I have a prologue and two chapters. It's about seven pages in length. I'm working on Chapters 3 and 4. The fanfic sort of sticks with canon, more or less.

I call it Miss Edith's Revenge or My evil fanfic.

Warning: graphic violence and character deaths ensue. No ships. No sex. Takes place after Season 7 BTVS. Some vague spoilers to Damage 5.11 ATS. No spoilers after 5.11 so far.

( Prologue )

( Chapter I - Xander )

( Chapter 2 - Dana )

Any feedback would be great. Never really done this before, so a little nervous about it, hence the reason I'm only posting it to livejournal.
Thanks.