The Dogs of Babble...

Wasn't planning on posting again this week, but I'm home sick today and find myself in need of distraction. Yep, I came down with the chest cold/flu bug that's been going around - I think I got it this weekend, in which case I'm thankful I did not visit anyone (especially since the three invitations came from folks with either newborn babies or pregnant.) My boss ordered me to go home yesterday afternoon and told me that if I was sick tomorrow, to stay home.
"Keep your germs to yourself." Can't say I blame her, if I were her, I'd say exactly the same thing. It's eerie dealing with my boss, her management style is so close to mine or how I'd manage people.

I'd watch the news - but it makes me cry. All those lives lost. My heart goes out to my friend from Sri Lanka. I hope her family is well and safe. Watching the news makes my own problems seem somewhat idiotic and pathetic. It is also unsettling seeing all these weird natural disasters and occurrences happening close together... but maybe that's just me.

The Dogs of Babble is a book by Carolyn Parkhurst. A quirky small book that inspired a fevered ramble on Tuesday night that I wrote in my private journal not here. I've been running a low-grade fever off and on most of the week. The book is about a man who has recently lost his wife and is attempting to understand why. She fell from an apple tree. Her dog, a Ridgeback Rhodesian, her only witness. Before she fell, she did two odd things. She cooked her dog a steak and she re-shelved several of hers and her husbands books. The police rule the fall as accidental, the husband believes suicide but does not know why.

At any rate - here's an edited version of my ramble - which I liked enough to attempt to share and perserve here. What is about? Ah never much for summarization- but I think it's about communication - attempting to communicate, to understand, without what's the word? Disconnection? Annoyance?
Abrasion? Offense? But then, what our words mean to us - is often something different to someone else, I think. In this as in many things, I remain uncertain.

( Fevered Ramble on The Dogs of Babble, words, grief...cut for length, spoilers, and discretion. )

The DOGS of BABBLE is a book about a grief-stricken man attempting to understand why his wife climbed a tree and fell from it. It is also about
how we attempt to understand and cope with our world around us, for good and ill. It is a book that will haunt me for quite some time I think.

2004 in Rememberance....

And HAPPY NEW YEARS to everyone. I hope 2005 treats you well!

I was reading cjl's post on atpo board - found here: www.atpobtvs.com - I think. It was about how the solistice turns at this time of year and all the religions celebrate the idea of hope. While dozing before dinner on my couch,
I thought about this...and remembered when Pandora opens her box - the remaining item, smiling up at her, after all the monsters have been unleashed is hope. The book I just read, Dogs of Babble, also mentions hope...how it
keeps us going. This season has always been about hope to me - I think, even at times like today in which, well I'll spare you...much too much whinging online from me this year, methinks.

2004 started for me with well a plane ride, a cold, and a death threat from a crank phone caller. It has ended with well just the cold. In between, I've experienced ups and downs.

The ups and in no particular order this is just how they happen to fall out of my head:
1. A birthday party courtesy of pumpkinpuss and cjlasky, and other friends. When I worried about logistics as I always do - they gave me a surprise limo ride.
2. A job. Two actually. A temp one and a full time one - right after each other, just when I'd hit rock bottom and thought it would never happen.
3. A DVD player - finally.
4. Kidbro's wedding in a swimming pool filled with water - at his baby shower.
5. The birth of my neice who continues to amaze.
6. The birth of a friends adorable child and another friend's birth announcement.
(Yes, the year seemed full of weddings and births...impromptu and otherwise.)
7. Meeting some of the wonderful new people I've meet this year from online and off.

The downs...
(ahhh...let's leave this part blank. You can read my journal if you want to find them.)

Resolutions:
1. To write a new story.
2. To be less depressed and more positive.
3. To see at least one play, possibly two.
4. To take a trip somewhere outside NY.
5. To see more of my neice, Kidbro and sisinlaw
6. To let go of past, worry less about the future, and focus more and more on the present, it's all I can control.
7. Try not to piss anyone off, although that may be outside my control.
8. Watch less TV and read more books.
9. Spend more time with friends.
10. Do a better job with my finances. Be more organized.

Now let's see if I keep any of them. ;-)

In other news - I did finish the S2 BTVS DVD finally, just skipped two episodes. And started S3. I like the setup of 3 better. Two is hard to navigate. Favorite episodes in 2? When She Was Bad was probably my favorite.
But the others are: Passion, Halloween, Innocence, Becoming Part II, and Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.