Only for now...

One of my favorite lyrics from Avenue Q: "Only for now! For now, we're healthy, for now, we're employed, for now we're happy, if not over-joyed. But only for now. For now there's life, for now for discomfort, but only for now, for now sex! for now, your hair! For now, George W. Bush! Don't stress, relax, let life roll off your back, don't forget everything in life except death and paying taxes is momentary and only for now." Worth remembering. Each time I forget, the powers that be find a snarky way of reminding me. LOL!

Weekend is turning out to be more relaxing than expected, considering the next door neighbors decided to re-do their roof this weekend (because it's the first week/weekend in an eternity with no rain) and I live at the top just beneath the roof - so get to hear all the banging. Found this out yesterday afternoon - when the contractor asked me if I lived in/owned my building - and wanted to know if he could do my roof. (Well not technically mine, since don't own it - my landlord does, who is a cool landlord - hence the reason I've been in this place close to eleven years now.) God I hope not. Or if they do do it - I'm going to ask for it to be done during the weekdays while I'm at work. That said - not as bad as one might think and they kindly agreed not to start until after nine. May escape it by going to movie or wandering around my neighborhood.

Watched Weeds S2 and I recommend. Good satire with interesting, flawed and complicated characters. Made me laugh, which is always of the good. May watch the BSG miniseries this morning. Considered re-watching Buffy or ATS DVDs - but, well, let me put it this way, you know you've seen something one too many times when you can play the entire episode or book or film in your head without looking at it for reference.

Also had a lovely outting with a bunch of people at the New Vintage Wine Bar in Soho. We drank wine, ate cheese, and discussed politics and liberalism. And I met a guy who had more or less the same response to law school and being a lawyer that I did. It was a small enough group and the non-talkers took off pretty early on.

A good piece of advice that I've received over the years and continue to struggle with is: don't take how people reacte to you, your artwork, your creations, what you wear, what you enjoy, or anything you do - personally. It is not, I repeat, not about you. It's about them. There is really no such thing as a purely objective critique. Problem is - you have to care about it when the other person has the decision making power in the relationship - whether or not you give them that power is besides the point. This is especially true in working relationships. And particularly for women working in a world run by men and for men. You sort of have to cater to the guy running the show or risk getting your ass handed to you. Makes life frustrating at times. I realize as I begin to relax over the weekends - that work is getting to me. While it is all good and well to say - go find another job and get out of this one - it's easier said than done. Finding a great job that you love doing is akin to finding a gold earring you lost in yard filled with gold, brown, and orange leaves. Not necessarily impossible, but a lot of luck, time, and persistence is involved. Not to mention incredibly thick skin and loads of confidence when it comes to rejection. And it really helps if you have a second income to rely on - if you don't? You take what you can get to pay the bills.

I should write a post sometime about what I learned job-hunting, to remind myself if no one else of what one needs to keep in mind while doing it.

Another good piece of advice - that everyone struggles with - if it would bug you if someone else does it, don't do it. Examples: Checking your cell phone messages during a movie or play - it's akin to turning on a flashlight or spotlight. Interrupting others while they are talking. (mea culpa, mea maxima culpa). Taking up three seats on the subway so no one else can sit. Not cleaning up after yourself in the bathroom or kitchen.

From the trenchs - 7 things I've learned after more than 30 years of job hunting.

Over the last thirty some years, I've spent about 65% of my time job-hunting. More than most, I'm certain - which makes me an expert on the process. I had the misfortune of graduating from college during a recession (guess who was president?), then graduated from law school at the end of one. People in the group before and immediately after me - didn't have this problem. My class? Not so lucky. No one appeared to be hiring.

But this post is not meant to be another long, somewhat whingy, occassionally amusing, ramble about my misadventures in job-hunting and work. It's about what I learned during it.

( Be wary of job advice including stuff in this post. Do what is best for you. )

( the perfect resume does not exist... )

( Ugh Interviews.... )

( the obligatory or not so obligatory thank you note )

( How do you know how the interview went and if you got the job? Or how long should you wait before giving up? No more than two weeks. )

( What to say to a job-hunter who lost a job? )

( Recruiters )

Lastly, when it comes to job-hunting the most important thing to remember is not to give up. Consider job-hunting a bit like climbing a cliff or Mt. Everest. It is an endurance test. It requires persistence. Stamina. And hard work. It is harder than any job you'll ever have and the pay is non-existent. People treat job-hunters like shit, particularly unemployed job-hunters. Never quit a job without another in place unless you have no other choice. If you do? Make sure you have temp work or consulting lined up and can handle the lack of health care benefits. Also do not let others tell you who you are. The hardest part? Staying positive. It is also unfortunately the most important. Do whatever you need to do to make sure you can stay positive.

The best piece of advice I was ever given regarding jobs and job-hunting, was from a lovely woman named Boringuen Gallo - she said : "Do not define yourself by your job or what you do. It's not who you are."