Starting to have a little cabin fever. Mentioned this to mother over the phone. Mother - "yeah, I'd expect so. Speaking of, so does your father, he keeps asking me if we can go out to eat or to a restaurant."
Also realized why I can't seem to focus or remember certain things...like the plots and character names of television shows I've just watched. It's the amount of work I'm doing to push certain thoughts and feelings aside, and keep track of actual work.
The headaches come and go. Came back last night, left, came back this morning when the radiators came on, so in self-defense I opened windows. Apparently radiators were deliberately set up to overheat apartments - in order to get people to open up windows for natural ventilation during the Spanish Flu Pandemic. I can't remember where I read it - and am too lazy to look it up - so you'll just have to trust me on that tid-bit or look it yourselves.
I'm somewhat irritable - possibly a side-effect of the head-ache, allergy congestion (which I get every year at this time - actually it's better than usual - I usually cough at night and get vertigo headaches - so progress), and the hot flashes - which are a new development.
Wales called to inform me that she stood for two hours in the rain today to get tested for COVID-19. She was terrified that she had it. Due to her racing heart, neck pain, and cough. (It should be noted that Wales has a heart condition and had heart surgery not all that long ago.) The rapid test came back negative - she also got the antibody and the regular one to be absolutely certain. They interviewed her - in regards to contact tracing.
Then she made the colossal mistake of telling her friend Alan that she'd done this. Alan is paranoid and obsessive. He doesn't own a credit card, refuses to wear a mask (thinks it is a government conspiracy), owns a burner phone, and is terrified of anyone having any information on him.
Wales isn't certain who he is hiding from.
She said everyone getting tested was pretty much doing it for work-related reasons. And she wasn't sure what she would do if she came back positive - it would screw up her work. She can't work from home apparently - without going nuts.
Wales is the universe's way of reminding me to be grateful, life could always be worse. I could also be better. But you know.
Rainy day - we're getting the remanants of Hurricane Delta, which may explain the pressure headaches. Pressure headaches is why I won't go scuba diving or take any trips to outer space or in submarines. I'd get pressure sickness very quickly.
Anyhow, didn't go to the cemetery today - instead stayed in and binge-watched Teen Wolf. I've learned something about my reading/watching/listening habits, along with my creative writing habits - I don't do it on demand. I am guided to watch things - by some inner voice. I follow it. I've learned to follow it over others - others tend to steer you towards things that benefit them, not you.
If I feel compelled by something - there's usually a reason. Either some metaphor, theme or character helps me figure out a problem or emotion I've been subconsciously wrestling with. Or it's just pure pleasure - and it comforts me. It's personal, and often not something anyone else will understand. I remember that happened with Buffy - and it was impossible to find anyone to discuss it with - and I ached to write and discuss it. I had to work at finding folks who liked that series. Everyone I knew offline did not like it at all. My friends mocked it - they thought it was silly and didn't get the appeal. I think it's easy to mock someone else's tastes, but hard to take it when they mock your own - and we're all guilty of doing just that. I've become aware of doing this myself at times. (I tend to mock reality television - which isn't fare, because I've watched stuff like that too.) Also, people like to bully each other into only liking the things they like. And that's stupid - because we aren't going to always like the same things - and even when we do, we'll like them for different reasons. I learned that in the Buffy fandom - a lot of people didn't appear to be watching the same series I was - and liked it for reasons that frankly bewildered me.
I like the diversity in thought - but it can be aggravating at times. It's easier when everyone agrees. Tolerating differences in opinion is not always easy or so I've found. And I have a tendency to like genres and cultural things that others despise for "reasons".
Some days, I just wish I could run away and live among the trees, I kind of do in a way, there are trees near me, and my area has lots of trees.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}