Day #231 of the Corona Virus Diaries
Oct. 18th, 2020 06:10 pmI'm trying hard not to get depressed - it's not working. Let's see - I've walked around Greenwood Cemetery, watched stuff on netflix, called or attempt to call mother to wished her a happy birthday (brother was on the phone - so she called me back, brother and his family are all doing really well), eaten chocolate, pumpkin ice cream and pumpkin muffins.
I'm thinking I need to find a comedy. I might try Schitt's Creek. It's getting lauded by everyone at the moment. Which means I'll probably hate it.
I also think - I'm just lonely and feeling sorry for myself.

As the months drift steadily onwards and summer sinks into fall, and fall drifts towards winter, with the days growing ever shorter - it's hard not to feel a bit lost. I feel as if I took a wrong turn somewhere. Although all in all - this may be the best place I could find to wait out a pandemic in the middle of a major city. I wish I had a family, a house, a fire pit, a vegetable garden that my husband tended, and the ability to eat chocolate croissants let alone purchase them from a good bakery. My mother regaled me with my brother's life again, and my niece who spent the day skate-boarding with her friends in Great Barrington, Massachusttus. They live about thirty minutes from Great Barrington.
I'm happy for my brother - but it would be nice not to know all the details.
We live, sometimes I think, in an age where far too much information is unloaded on us on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis. I miss the days of letter writing...People are nostalgic for different things - for me, it's letters. The ink on paper, the time spent writing each word and sentence. Crossing words out. Replacing them with new words written just above them.
And the days upon days of waiting for a reply, wondering if anyone received it and if so, what they thought.
In some respects the instant communication of the internet feels somewhat emptier - like one of those conversations I'll overhear on my walks through the graveyard, empty chatter...soon forgotten.

I was worn out by the time I left the cemetery. I've been tired all day. Kind of dozed during the Zoom worship service. No one noticed, but my camera and mic were off. I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights - so that may be why.
One more picture and I'll sign off for the night...

I'm thinking I need to find a comedy. I might try Schitt's Creek. It's getting lauded by everyone at the moment. Which means I'll probably hate it.
I also think - I'm just lonely and feeling sorry for myself.

As the months drift steadily onwards and summer sinks into fall, and fall drifts towards winter, with the days growing ever shorter - it's hard not to feel a bit lost. I feel as if I took a wrong turn somewhere. Although all in all - this may be the best place I could find to wait out a pandemic in the middle of a major city. I wish I had a family, a house, a fire pit, a vegetable garden that my husband tended, and the ability to eat chocolate croissants let alone purchase them from a good bakery. My mother regaled me with my brother's life again, and my niece who spent the day skate-boarding with her friends in Great Barrington, Massachusttus. They live about thirty minutes from Great Barrington.
I'm happy for my brother - but it would be nice not to know all the details.
We live, sometimes I think, in an age where far too much information is unloaded on us on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis. I miss the days of letter writing...People are nostalgic for different things - for me, it's letters. The ink on paper, the time spent writing each word and sentence. Crossing words out. Replacing them with new words written just above them.
And the days upon days of waiting for a reply, wondering if anyone received it and if so, what they thought.
In some respects the instant communication of the internet feels somewhat emptier - like one of those conversations I'll overhear on my walks through the graveyard, empty chatter...soon forgotten.

I was worn out by the time I left the cemetery. I've been tired all day. Kind of dozed during the Zoom worship service. No one noticed, but my camera and mic were off. I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights - so that may be why.
One more picture and I'll sign off for the night...
