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Y2/D259...Better Day..
Dec. 1st, 2021 09:10 pmWell, I managed to resolve my work related issues on a project today - that was plaguing me yesterday and I was second-guessing myself on. Turns out I did the right things just in the wrong order, but still no issues.
Last night, I had this odd dream about myself and another woman - who was doing an angry acrobatic dance number in a blue green leotard (yes, I dream in color - I thought everyone did, apparently not), but she got tied up in angry knots. (The woman's face reminded me of my niece. It was olive in tone with almond shaped eyes, eyeliner, and black hair in a pony tail. I think green eyes. She was very thin and the moves she did were like in cirque du soleil.) She got untied, but she was limping in pain with massive cramps in her legs and back. I took her hands in mine, I remember going up to her and taking her hands, looking deep into her eyes, and telling her to let me take her pain from her. To take all of her rage and anger. All of that negative energy. Give it all to me. Let me take it. That I could take it and hold it and let it go. And I remember wondering why I was doing this? And watching with an odd sense of horror, detachment, wonder, resistance and relief as the red and orange energy flowed up my arms, feeling warm, and watching her pain go. It was as if I were two people, myself doing this, and myself watching it happen as an observer watching a movie. I felt her energy flow completely into me or start to...
And my alarm woke me up, hot, bewildered and unsettled by the dream.
Yet weirdly, I felt lighter today, less angry and frustrated. Less burdened. And I was able to make peace with someone I was angry with the day before over the phone. Even if I still don't understand where he's coming from.
So, make of that what you will. I'm not sure what I make of it - except I felt compelled to share it? I don't usually remember my dreams. They tend to be a hodgepodge of things in my head rearranged for my subconscious' entertainment. I'll remember snippets but nothing coherent enough to relate. Then on occasion they are startling vivid, and I remember details.
I studied dreams once for a course in undergrad - it was part of my cultural anthropology minor. But the more I studied my dreams, the more they eluded me, so I never did it again.
Psychologists disagree on what they mean if anything. The last psychologist I had told me that dreams were meaningless - they were just information we'd picked up during the day, and had no real meaning. But he was a follower of the sociologist/psychologist Fred Neumann, so this made sense.
Other's will delve into the psychology of dreams to the point that I honestly think - they are overthinking them.
**
I see less and less of the sun now.
I get up at night, leave my house before the sun comes up looking into the sky at the sliver of a moon and beginnings of Dawn. As I traverse across the viaduct and into downtown Brooklyn to catch a train to Jamaica, Queens, I watch the sun slowly rise over the city - casting its orange and hazy yellow glow across the landscape. It's fully up on the train ride to Jamaica, but I barely notice engrossed in a book. On the way home, it's the reverse, watching the sun slowly set into the horizon and by the time I traverse the viaduct into Southern Brooklyn, I see the sun set fully leaving behind a blood red orange glow against the buildings facing it. It's dark by the time I exit the subway and once again I walk in deeply shrouded moonlight home. A man passes me with his dog, the leash glowing a dull neon green in the fading light.
Christmas lights are strung across the trees in the yard of the apartment complex across the street, providing a faint glow of multi-colored light. While my own complex has yet to decorate for Christmas, busy celebrating Hanukkah first and foremost, as well it should considering Hanukkah started on Sunday. They have a Menorah in the building's lobby, and one in the park that faces the Brooklyn Academy of Music, and is next to the Fulton Street Subway stop.
The world is quiet now. Just the whir of air purifiers. It is possible to find quiet and solitude in a bustling city. And my area is more residential anyhow.
***
Not much to report. My brother has informed me that he just wants "gift cards" this year, nothing else. And when I offered to get his daughter a weighted blanket, he begged me not to - they have 3 million blankets and counting.
This makes it easy. I think my family has mutually decided not to stress over the gift-giving portion of Christmas this year. We're oddly flexible when it comes to holiday traditions, trading one out for another. I think right now, we'll be grateful if we can spend a little of it together - me with my parents, and my niece with hers.
I'm not interested in posting on current events right now. Life is stressful enough without the news from outside my small orbit entering it.
***
Random Photo..
Last night, I had this odd dream about myself and another woman - who was doing an angry acrobatic dance number in a blue green leotard (yes, I dream in color - I thought everyone did, apparently not), but she got tied up in angry knots. (The woman's face reminded me of my niece. It was olive in tone with almond shaped eyes, eyeliner, and black hair in a pony tail. I think green eyes. She was very thin and the moves she did were like in cirque du soleil.) She got untied, but she was limping in pain with massive cramps in her legs and back. I took her hands in mine, I remember going up to her and taking her hands, looking deep into her eyes, and telling her to let me take her pain from her. To take all of her rage and anger. All of that negative energy. Give it all to me. Let me take it. That I could take it and hold it and let it go. And I remember wondering why I was doing this? And watching with an odd sense of horror, detachment, wonder, resistance and relief as the red and orange energy flowed up my arms, feeling warm, and watching her pain go. It was as if I were two people, myself doing this, and myself watching it happen as an observer watching a movie. I felt her energy flow completely into me or start to...
And my alarm woke me up, hot, bewildered and unsettled by the dream.
Yet weirdly, I felt lighter today, less angry and frustrated. Less burdened. And I was able to make peace with someone I was angry with the day before over the phone. Even if I still don't understand where he's coming from.
So, make of that what you will. I'm not sure what I make of it - except I felt compelled to share it? I don't usually remember my dreams. They tend to be a hodgepodge of things in my head rearranged for my subconscious' entertainment. I'll remember snippets but nothing coherent enough to relate. Then on occasion they are startling vivid, and I remember details.
I studied dreams once for a course in undergrad - it was part of my cultural anthropology minor. But the more I studied my dreams, the more they eluded me, so I never did it again.
Psychologists disagree on what they mean if anything. The last psychologist I had told me that dreams were meaningless - they were just information we'd picked up during the day, and had no real meaning. But he was a follower of the sociologist/psychologist Fred Neumann, so this made sense.
Other's will delve into the psychology of dreams to the point that I honestly think - they are overthinking them.
**
I see less and less of the sun now.
I get up at night, leave my house before the sun comes up looking into the sky at the sliver of a moon and beginnings of Dawn. As I traverse across the viaduct and into downtown Brooklyn to catch a train to Jamaica, Queens, I watch the sun slowly rise over the city - casting its orange and hazy yellow glow across the landscape. It's fully up on the train ride to Jamaica, but I barely notice engrossed in a book. On the way home, it's the reverse, watching the sun slowly set into the horizon and by the time I traverse the viaduct into Southern Brooklyn, I see the sun set fully leaving behind a blood red orange glow against the buildings facing it. It's dark by the time I exit the subway and once again I walk in deeply shrouded moonlight home. A man passes me with his dog, the leash glowing a dull neon green in the fading light.
Christmas lights are strung across the trees in the yard of the apartment complex across the street, providing a faint glow of multi-colored light. While my own complex has yet to decorate for Christmas, busy celebrating Hanukkah first and foremost, as well it should considering Hanukkah started on Sunday. They have a Menorah in the building's lobby, and one in the park that faces the Brooklyn Academy of Music, and is next to the Fulton Street Subway stop.
The world is quiet now. Just the whir of air purifiers. It is possible to find quiet and solitude in a bustling city. And my area is more residential anyhow.
***
Not much to report. My brother has informed me that he just wants "gift cards" this year, nothing else. And when I offered to get his daughter a weighted blanket, he begged me not to - they have 3 million blankets and counting.
This makes it easy. I think my family has mutually decided not to stress over the gift-giving portion of Christmas this year. We're oddly flexible when it comes to holiday traditions, trading one out for another. I think right now, we'll be grateful if we can spend a little of it together - me with my parents, and my niece with hers.
I'm not interested in posting on current events right now. Life is stressful enough without the news from outside my small orbit entering it.
***
Random Photo..