Hack hack...still here, and feeling slightly better.

[shadowkat]

Well feeling better, but still unfortunately coughing. I don't understand this - I don't cough during the day, just at night. Which is annoying. I want to sleep at night. And it's a deep chest cough. Doesn't seem to be very productive or bring up much however. I foresee more Mucinex DM in my future. So my chest hurts whenever I sit up or try to get up out of my arm chair. Those muscles, which I didn't know existed, are sore.

I'm bored with television at the moment. Can't seem to find anything that holds my interest. I'm sure there's something?

I tried Life + Beth (Hulu), but my attention kept wandering. Then The Wind that Shakes the Barely, but I got quickly bored mainly because it was on Plex - free, so interrupted every ten minutes by slow to load commercials. So my attention kept wandering. I'm used to watching television without them. Finished "Red Eye", which was okay. Not among Wes Craven's best efforts. Murphy was excellent in it - and almost unrecognizable. Fell asleep during Grey's.

I'm not sleeping well. Coughing too much in the night. CPAP machine is almost impossible to use as a result. But brain fog has lifted a little.

Mother has just about convinced me to try to submit the photo of the Sunflower, which I've entitled Pandemic Sunflower to the museum, as opposed to one of my many paintings of the People I saw on the Subway. It is easier - considering it's already framed and ready to go. Also I'm able to make multiple prints of it.

Couple of bits from social media?

* I sometimes think that Wedding rings like Weddings are actually for everyone but the married couple? They tell folks that you aren't available or committed to someone else. Kind of cuts back on accidental infidelity. Of course I'm not married - I'm single. The benefit of being single - is I don't have to wear a ring. I hate rings - so I'm extremely happy about that.

* Someone was complaining about a character on a soap not spending 24/7 with her best friend who is grieving the death of her true love. (Okay these characters are 20 years of age. The character who died is presumed dead and will be back on screen next month. The best friend moved out of the dorm room and back home, and made it clear she wanted space. Also it's been about a month since it happened.) The bit that made me pause? The woman stated that if she lost the love of her life, her best friend would stay with her 24/7 during her entire grieving period for a year or longer.

I feel sorry for this woman's friend. That is a hell of a lot to ask of a friend. To wallow in your grief 24/7? Damn. I wouldn't do that to anyone. I lost my Dad - I loved him dearly. It hurt. I did it on my own.

My mother lost her husband - and she didn't do that to anyone, and she loved him for 56 years. And I know people who have lost children who haven't done that. Plus grief never goes away completely, it fades, but is still there. No one can ease it for you.

* X-men from the Ashes"

The new writers have been announced along with the new books for the X-men. It's kind of a return to form or so it seems. With the team split up again. They appear to be trying to please everyone? And moving towards more action based books?

Gail Simone and David Marquez (art) are doing the superhero book, Uncanny X-men (which they've brought back again after putting it on hiatus during the Krakoa period) with the team up of Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Rogue, Jubliee, and Gambit. Takes place in the deep south or Lousiana, Rogue and Gambit's home town, I think. (Which is good since Simone for reasons that bewilder me, despises Cyclops but adores Gambit. I find Gambit and Rogue annoying because the writers insist on using bad dialect. Comic book writers suck at dialect. Rogue always uses sugar, and Gambit always uses chere...I like the characters, but damn.) I may try hers but on the fence, I've never really read her stuff. She's been doing DC and I'm not a DC fan for the most part.

Jed Mckay and Ryan Stegman(art) are doing the X-men book - which Cyclops is still headlining (thankfully), with Magneto, Magick, Psylock, Kid Omega, Oya (now Temper), Beast, and Juggernaught (it has the most characters) - and takes place in Alaska, Cyclops home town. This one is the flagship -and is about more than superhero tasks. I think I may prefer it. Straight superhero team books tend to annoy me. I want more character and speculative fiction, than action.

Eve Ewing and Carmen Carnero(art) are doing Exceptional X-men, which Emma Frost and Kate Pryde are headlining - it takes place in Chicago, Kate's home town. And emphasis is on training new recruits or new mutants. It has Kate Pryde, Emma, and three newbies - Bronze, Axo and Melee (honestly, I don't know why they do this? The X-men has more characters than any comic on the planet. There's literally thousands, why add new ones? Just grab from the existing pot. I can barely keep track of the ones there are. Each writing team likes to add their own new group of characters hence the reason there are thousands.)

Then of course we still have Wolverine (the most over-exposed character in comics, and there's literally nothing new they can do with him), Phoenix (it's probably the adventures of Hope, who is boring), Storm (promising), NYX (??), X-Force (meh), and X-Factor - which could be promising.

They are trying to provide something for everyone. That never ends well.

Comments

[slaymesoftly]

I haven't worn my wedding ring in many decades (and I love rings-when it's safe and appropriate to wear them). And my husband doesn't even have one. Never has. I know I'm married, and that's what counts, right?

[shadowkat]

It's not about you, though? I don't how to explain this? If you lived on an island with just you and your partner, and folks who attended your wedding or no one else - then yes, it only matters if you know you are married. But if you live in a society with lots of people who are meeting you for the first time...then...

I mean I guess it depends on whether you care if anyone else knows if you are married? It's similar to a wedding or getting married in front of others - do you want other people to know you are married? And do you want to know if someone else is?

Some do it with a Mrs - although that's gender specific and in my view annoying, and kind of sexist. But I get that it helps a lot of folks identify relationships.

Single women have been advised to put a wedding ring on their fingers when traveling for safety reasons. Men tend to prey on single women traveling alone. (Like it or not we live in a sexist and misogynistic society - so yes, that's a thing. I never have. But I know others who have. I'm also six feet tall and over 200 pounds, and am less likely to be a target.)

And well, I know I've looked for the ring on men's fingers - to see if he's available or not. I don't want to flirt with or try to date a married man (ugh - bad mojo). And it's not as rude, as openly asking, "oh excuse me, are you married?"

See the problem is - it's not like saying I know I have diabetes, or I know I love Spike, and no one else has to know. It's that you are in a committed long-term legal (and possibly religiously ordained) relationship with another person in which you share property, live together, and have family. They come first with you and you with them. You are most likely scheduling your pursuits with them in mind, and where you go, and what you do affects them and vice versa. And it's kind of polite to let others know all that without forcing them to ask? I mean you don't have to - of course. But don't complain when they assume you aren't, and make well faux pas as a result? I hate to say this but we live in a world with other people in it, and some things can't be private - if we want to co-exist peacefully and kindly with one another? A ring isn't the only way to get it across of course - just the simplest and least intrusive.

I just find it to be polite and considerate of others. But that's because I'm single and most likely never will be married - so come at it from a very different perspective.

[yourlibrarian]

The thing about the soap opera friend made me chuckle because friendships in fiction so rarely seem to work like those IRL. It's probably because in fiction so often the friend character exists just to reveal or help the main character work something out that wouldn't be visible otherwise. They're not conceived to be real people with their own lives, their own needs or their own inconvenient idiosyncrasies. Plus they are often incredibly nosy for this same reason -- whereas actual friends often don't GAF about most of what's going on in your life because, let's face it, it's not that interesting.

[slaymesoftly]

I get that. By "I know I'm married" I just meant that my behavior wouldn't have been likely to be that of an unmarried girl/woman, so I wouldn't be worried that someone who was hitting on me might be embarrassed. I suppose going to a bar and not wearing a ring might be false advertising, so to speak, but that's not likely to happen unless I'm with one of my very adult kids! LOL I find that most men don't wear wedding rings, and a lot of the ones who do, don't act like it anyway, so it's not something I ever bothered with (way back when I was in a position to be concerned about the marital status of people I was meeting). Having been married for over 50 years, and been more worried about losing a finger than whether or not anyone knew I was married, it just isn't something I feel I'm obligated to do. Pretty sure it doesn't fit me anymore, anyway. :)

[slaymesoftly]

Should add that for much of my early married life, I usually had a child or two hanging on me, so my marital (or relationship) status probably wasn't a secret, even without a ring. But, then, I don't much care if anyone knows I'm married in most situations. If my status isn't relevant to what we're doing or talking about, then it shouldn't be relevant. Does that make sense? And yes, I am old and cranky, so, there's that....

[shadowkat]

Well, as has been pointed out to me offline by a friend, a recently widowed one, that a lot of married people take off their wedding rings and lie about not being married. And there are people who are single who buy them and pretend to be married. So it's not really proof one way or the other. We have too many people who like to lie...it's ironic, because a lot of the honest folks just don't wear them at all and can't be bothered to.

[shadowkat]

Hee, true enough. I kind of told her that I appreciated the fact that the writers were taking a more realistic approach and having the character grieve in her own space and not require quite that amount of loving care. (Ironic that.)

But you're right - often in film and television and even fictional novels - the best friend or friend is set up as a sounding board for the character to talk to or someone to provide advice.
When in reality friends seldom work that way - and are usually too busy trying to tell you what is going on with them at the moment. Because you are right they don't GAF what is happening in your life - due to the fact that they are far too wrapped up in their own shit. All you have to do is listen to real life conversations to pick up on it - within about maybe ten to fifteen minutes the listener will either find a way to shift the topic, opt out, walk away, or cut the speaker off - if they can't their eyes will start glaze over, and they'll try again. The average listener has about a 10-15 minute attention span for something that they can't relate to, isn't about them, or doesn't concern them.

[slaymesoftly]

Exactly!