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shadowkatA bit edgy today, not sure why exactly. I did have my big carb at lunch time, which was later than I intended. I'd had a late breakfast, so that was partly the reason - and mother called.
It was a gray overcast winter day, with temperatures between 27 and 40. No wind. So the apartment was warm, and I turned on fans and the A/C. Also I had to air freshen it - due to the smells of cooking food next door - unappetizing cooking food. I wandered about my living room and foyer spraying air freshener including the hallway outside the apartment, only to realize - it was actually olive oil. So I had to switch to an actual air freshner, and try to mop up any residual olive oil (although I do like the smell of olive oil). I need Italian next door neighbors, or people who like to bake cookies.
I think the edginess may be due to how I fouled up my sleep cycle on Thursday and eating too much chocolate. I didn't feel like I ate too much, but I did have too many carbs/sugars on Thursday and it may have fouled it up?
Church sermon was interesting today - particularly the partial discussion on Zoom. It was entitled Safe Space, Brave Space - with the emphasis on Brave, since there really are no safe spaces. As the Interim Minister aptly phrased it: "Well, unless you stay in your apartment or house, wrapped in a blanket, all alone - but even then? I don't know there may be ants."
I learned in 9/11 that safe didn't exist. Then just in case I hadn't gotten the memo, the Universe reminded me of it in 2005, when I got robbed, and then a year later when I got laid off, then the next year, when it happened again. Safety is an illusion. Once you figure that out - it gets easier to plan things.
Brave space - is providing a space for mistakes and forgiveness of those mistakes. The view that we are all human. Organizations made up of humans will invariably disappoint us. It's going to happen. But being brave enough to keep joining them and risking disappointment.
I kind of needed to hear that today. I wasn't the only one. On the Zoom chat, more than one person talked about it, and how we could work together to make our community more welcoming and less exclusive of those we may not see eye to eye with. I'm not seeing eye to eye with Wales at the moment, but I know its a temporary annoyance and within a few days, I'll let it go. Just backing off from texting for the time being.
I haven't left the church - mainly for the same reasons I didn't leave my job, I know the issues that I'm having are temporary and can change. They did at work. Sometimes I just need to be patient and wait it out.
There was a lovely song sung at church today that made me cry...some songs make me laugh, some make me cry, some do nothing at all...music is such a subjective thing - but there's nothing like music to ring true in the soul.
Mercy Now by Mary Gauthier
It was a gray overcast winter day, with temperatures between 27 and 40. No wind. So the apartment was warm, and I turned on fans and the A/C. Also I had to air freshen it - due to the smells of cooking food next door - unappetizing cooking food. I wandered about my living room and foyer spraying air freshener including the hallway outside the apartment, only to realize - it was actually olive oil. So I had to switch to an actual air freshner, and try to mop up any residual olive oil (although I do like the smell of olive oil). I need Italian next door neighbors, or people who like to bake cookies.
I think the edginess may be due to how I fouled up my sleep cycle on Thursday and eating too much chocolate. I didn't feel like I ate too much, but I did have too many carbs/sugars on Thursday and it may have fouled it up?
Church sermon was interesting today - particularly the partial discussion on Zoom. It was entitled Safe Space, Brave Space - with the emphasis on Brave, since there really are no safe spaces. As the Interim Minister aptly phrased it: "Well, unless you stay in your apartment or house, wrapped in a blanket, all alone - but even then? I don't know there may be ants."
I learned in 9/11 that safe didn't exist. Then just in case I hadn't gotten the memo, the Universe reminded me of it in 2005, when I got robbed, and then a year later when I got laid off, then the next year, when it happened again. Safety is an illusion. Once you figure that out - it gets easier to plan things.
Brave space - is providing a space for mistakes and forgiveness of those mistakes. The view that we are all human. Organizations made up of humans will invariably disappoint us. It's going to happen. But being brave enough to keep joining them and risking disappointment.
I kind of needed to hear that today. I wasn't the only one. On the Zoom chat, more than one person talked about it, and how we could work together to make our community more welcoming and less exclusive of those we may not see eye to eye with. I'm not seeing eye to eye with Wales at the moment, but I know its a temporary annoyance and within a few days, I'll let it go. Just backing off from texting for the time being.
I haven't left the church - mainly for the same reasons I didn't leave my job, I know the issues that I'm having are temporary and can change. They did at work. Sometimes I just need to be patient and wait it out.
There was a lovely song sung at church today that made me cry...some songs make me laugh, some make me cry, some do nothing at all...music is such a subjective thing - but there's nothing like music to ring true in the soul.
Mercy Now by Mary Gauthier