shadowkat | (Reply)

From:

I'm not surprised, I'm getting bored - and I'm listening to the audio book (which can act as background noise - while I'm painting or eating lunch or doing laundry or making dinner). There's far too much focus on the teen in-fighting. They are supposed to be in their twenties, they act like they are fifteen. Also way too much telling and not enough showing - this happens a lot with first person narratives. The writer is falling into a couple of traps - common to first person point of view: 1) the main character will either think too highly of themselves, or too lowly of themselves and beat themselves up constantly (which is why it's best not to write in first person unless you know how to avoid that, she doesn't) and 2.) too much telling, not enough showing - I'm told the narrator thinks Xadon is hot, but not why. And it's repetitive. I honestly think she'd have been better off doing this in third person.

I've also decided this would be a much more interesting book if it were written from the Dragons point of view and not the humans.

This book really needed a good editor. But apparently there aren't any in traditional publishing any longer.