Taking a break from the frustrating state of well everything for a primal scream in a graveyard

[shadowkat]

I need to stop doom scrolling, it's not healthy. And honestly looking at the news right now is akin to peering at a horror movie through my fingers?

I didn't sleep well again last night. Currently averaging between five and six hours of sleep. Last night was five hours. Took me forever to fall asleep - between a sore shoulder and the fact that my mind would simply not shut off.

Also, I feel as if I'm in a constant state of "frustration". I need a break from it - it's not healthy. I'm frustrated at work, I'm frustrated with my social life (or lack thereof), I'm frustrated with what is going on in my country, I'm frustrated with my church...

I talked to a few folks briefly about it at work today, and discovered I wasn't alone.

Me: I am very frustrated - about everything.
Co-worker: Yeah, I know right. Although frustration is a gross understatement regarding what is going on at the moment. The world has turned upside down.
Me: And inside out and sideways.

I just want to smack things. But I can't. Anyone want to stand in the middle of a graveyard and let out a primal scream? Of course that would most likely wake the ghosts, vampires, and the rest of the undead, and we can't have that, especially right now.





On plus side? I got my birth certificates (the official notarized copies). I had to sign for them, luckily for me - UPS came about ten minutes ago - so I was home. Although I did, somewhat idiotically race downstairs to meet them, after letting them in - and they were at my apartment door, so I had to race up the stairs to sign. The UPS agent looked at me as if I was insane. "Why'd you race downstairs? I was wandering around the building dropping stuff off that needed to be signed for?"

Since it was a birth certificate - it had to be signed for. Had the official seal and everything. Just not quite the amount of detail that I expected, but I guess you don't really need that?

And it was another lovely day, a little hazy in some areas with poor air quality. But the air quality was fine in the Financial District (the tip of Manhattan) and in South Brooklyn, we're too far south to be affected. Even got off my niece's birthday card today (about a week late and three days short, but still it's off).

It was nice enough at lunch time that I took Art History Major's advice and wandered up to Trinity Church to check out the grave yard. And stumbled upon the grave stones of:





and ...





Along with Hercules Mulligan, John Watts, and Angelica Schulyar Church.
The graveyard dates back to the 1700s, and a lot of the tombstones are so old, that you can't see the engravings any longer.

And here's a photo of Trinity Church and the graveyard:



The skyscrapers surrounding the American Stock Exchange, and pushing against the blue sky.





Another view of the American Stock Exchange, with flowering trees in front of it, staring it down.






And finally the sculpture of the little girl staring down the New York Stock Exchange on Wall Street.

Comments

[nondenomifan]

Wow. *safe, gentle, long-distance hugs* I feel you. I only go on Facebook long enough to wish people happy birthday and watch my church (if I'm unable to go in person). I got so sick of people "taking sides." Seriously, everyone needs to read The Book of Forgiving by Bishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu. Once you learn all the things they've forgiven--as have the people they know--you'll feel horrified if you're holding a grudge against anyone. (Note: Forgiving doesn't require forgeting [got to remember for personal safety]; and it doesn't necessarily mean the ones who hurt you don't face consequences for their actions.)

[shadowkat]

Thank you. ;-)

Agreed.

Except? Please clarify what you are referring to in regards to "Forgiveness" and my post? I'm admittedly operating on 4 hours of sleep this morning, and struggling with pain in my lower back and shoulders - so my critical thinking skills aren't up to snuff. ;-)

[mefisto]

Hamilton has long been rumored to have had an affair with Angelica Schuyler, his wife's sister.

[shadowkat]

The musical based on Chenworth (sp?) non-fiction bio of Hamilton indicates they mainly corresponded and didn't have an affair. (He had an affair, just not with her, because Angelica married a British nobleman and moved to Britain to avoid it.) Angelica just had a close correspondence. Angelica wouldn't cheat on her sister apparently.

[mefisto]

Some gossip-monger you are. :D

[shadowkat]

Yeah, not really much of a gossip fan - I'm afraid. LOL! I feel horrible when I do it. ;-)

[nondenomifan]

I just assumed if you're as fed up with Facebook as I am and church as I was before transferring to another branch that was more welcoming--ahem--you were seeing the same kind of ignorance-borne hatred that makes one really devastated and gives we Christians the difficult task of remembering the teaching to love one's enemy, judge not yest ye be judged, etc. I pray so much nowadays--more than I ever have in my life. The last Civil War was the bloodiest ever to take place in this nation. I really don't want to see what one would look like today.

I did not mean you had done anything that needed to be forgiven; I certainly hope that's not how you took it. It is the people (on both "sides") who get so heated that they're insulting each other about everything from the other's breeding to education, when none of that has anything to do with the topics at hand. That's not productive discussion; it's counter-intuitive argument, and it only serves to fuel the flames of war.

[shadowkat]

Okay, that makes a lot more sense. Thanks for the clarification.

I did not mean you had done anything that needed to be forgiven; I certainly hope that's not how you took it

Oh good. I did, unfortunately. But I was also not my best self last week. Sleep deprived and in pain, so my critical thinking skills were somewhat impaired.

The comment just seemed to come out of nowhere - and lack of sleep, plus pain, made it difficult for me to understand it. (I have comments emailed to me.)

I couldn't figure out - if you were reacting to my desire to scream and smash things, or it was a general unrelated comment. Clearly it was meant to be a general unrelated comment. LOL! (You should see some of the odd comments I've gotten over the years.)

***

My FB isn't that bad. Only if I read the comments to the Senators, Governors, and Congress folks, or some...somewhat conservative folks on the neighborhood page. But I've figured out the logarithm. It feeds you whatever you like or hit follow. So if you say, like videos of babies? You'll see that. Or if you like videos of Cats? You'll get a lot of cats. And if you follow liberal political pages - you'll get that, and so on.

If I don't like something or it causes rage - I hit hide, unfollow, snooze, or block/mute.

Like you? I watch my church's live stream on it as well. Also follow a few social justice activists, and college friends, relatives, and various folks from church, and a few old co-workers. Everyone on it is like-minded. I also use it to discuss a soap opera and get spoilers (that's a private fan board). I have a lot of private groups on it. Mine is friends locked, not public. I use it to post pictures and link the photos here. And it's not more than 136 at any given time. I keep the friends list small. FB like all social media platforms is manageable - if you know how to work the logarithm and realize public posts are akin to posting to Times Square.

It is the people (on both "sides") who get so heated that they're insulting each other about everything from the other's breeding to education, when none of that has anything to do with the topics at hand. That's not productive discussion; it's counter-intuitive argument, and it only serves to fuel the flames of war.

This is so true. It's why it is best not to write or speak while anger or out of rage. Tempting. But counter-productive, or so I've found over the years. Whenever I write or speak from a place of rage or irritability, I tend to make things 100 times worse. Truth is - we don't always know where the other person is coming from, what's happening in their lives, or bodies. What is motivating them.
But when I or anyone else speaks from a place of rage or fear - that negative emotion tends to lead down the road to insults. And aggressive speech.

Unfortunately, there are people who feed off of that. And unfortunately, social media marketing logarithms are designed to promote hate speech or negative speech.

It never ends well.