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1. Had a rather nice thing happen at work today, not one but both my bosses, the Director of Contracts, and his boss, Deputy Chief of Procurement - congratulated me on my write-up and negotiation for the company's headquarters building exterior rehabilitation design. They told me that I'd done an exemplary job and my negotiation was commendable. They could tell how hard I worked on it - and felt I had done a commendable job. (grins sheepishly). A little known fact? I am always a bit taken aback by compliments. I don't get them often. Used to criticism, usually can see the criticism coming a mile away. Critical people - tend to be very sensitive to criticism, because they are highly critical of themselves, partly as a defense mechanism. I'm always surprised by the compliments. And my bosses aren't prone to them, nor is my field, if you get one - it is earned by sweat blood and tears, as this project was.

2. Am somewhat on the fence again about the Buffy comics. I know, I know - I've told everyone I'm done and I most likely am. But the extreem reactions on flist have made me mildly curious. Two Spike/Spuffy fans adore the comic, while two hate it to pieces. Interesting. That said? I'm sooo over the Buffy/Angel relationship and that relationship trope, it's not even funny. Watching or reading it - right now at this juncture in my life's journey - is a bit like someone raking their nails down a chalkboard. I can't quite put my finger on what it is about this particular romantic trope that irritates me so much, except that it does. I can't read it or watch it. I find this development somewhat interesting, and bewildering, considering at the age of 28 - I shipped this particular trope HARD. I adored it to pieces. Now? I can't abide it. Why? It's not like I can link it to a failed romantic relationship - I can't. I'm guessing somewhere along the line I changed, my personality and my interests. It happens. But it is interesting - what changes and what does not, isn't it? Certain aspects of my personality haven't changed at all, while others have - or wait, maybe it's just certain aspects are more in prominence, while others have faded to the background out of necessity? I'm more analytical than I used to be, and more aware of sexism and racism than I once was. I'm also a bit less self-righteous (at least I hope so).

At any rate - I realized after reading issues 34-35 that I can't tolerate Buffy/Angel as a pairing - they gross me out. This is not a shock. I can't stand the Edward/Bella pairing either - it's why the books have 0 appeal, well that and the fact that they are so poorly written.
Stefan and Elena equally grate on my nerves, but somehow not as much - perhaps because Damon is snarking at them all the time? Also, Stefan is admittedly more attractive to me than Edward or Angela are. Less, shall we say, paternalistic and sexist? Same deal with Sookie and Bill - although I can deal with that better, partly because the writer is obviously making fun of it, and well they aren't the main focus, and I find them funny - because it's hard to get too invested in Sookie. Buffy on the other hand is a character that began to resonate with me in the later seasons, not so much in the early ones. So perhaps that is part of it? I care a great deal about Buffy...(shrugs) and her going for Angel, feels like regressing. It's like if I decided to get back involved with my ex-college boyfriend (who has nothing in common with Angel, he's actually more like Xander) - and just, eww. People do grow up, you know. Unless of course they are a character in a comic book, apparently. (Sad, because Buffy had grown up in the series. The comic has almost stripped away all the things I loved about the series, and kept all the things - I didn't like - the camp and silly and at times offensive sex jokes.)

We'll see. The posts I've seen have said interesting things about Spike/Buffy, Spike, Willow and Faith - the peaks my interest a bit. But I'm not sure I can endure the Angel/Buffy scenes to get to them. (IF this were a tv show? I'd just fast-forward through them, not sure that's entirely doable in a comic - couldn't do it in issues 34-35, I know, I tried.) The Spike series by Lynch on the other hand - looks appealing. He's such a self-loathing character with a great deal of bravado and surface cool. A good man, pretending to be a bad guy. And now, with his soul, incredibly confused. I adore Lynch's take on this character. Plus Urru's artwork is just beautiful. The preview pages made me want it now. (Stark contrast to the Buffy issue 36 preview pages which well, had the exact opposite effect. Jeanty just is not an artist that appeals to me. )

3. Which brings me to my decision to start drawing and painting again - specifically people in different scenarios. I've drawn people since I was about 6. My father used to do it - he was a cartoonist in school and had applied to RISD - Rhode Island School of Design (but didn't have the money or grades to get in, any more than my brother did - although we got the last laugh, since kidbro and sisinlaw got to teach several classes there, sisinlaw's folks went there - her father roomed with Andy Warhol. I kid you not. My neice has Edie Sedwick's stuffed swan.)
When I draw - I'm most interested in capturing a person's face or expression, particularly their eyes. I've been known to spend hours drawing nothing but eyes. Love to draw eyes. I'm an eye girl. Also adore faces - but interesting faces.

For example there was this guy sitting on the subway home, asleep, not particularly attractive, but he had an amazing face. A sharp nose, and angular chin with high cheekbones, thin, with black hair, and pearl white skin. He was wearing a black t-shirt and white shorts. The sharpness of the nose, almost hooked - fascinated me. I wished I had a sketchbook or a camera. Then I looked to my right - and there was this black woman, with glasses, and I just wanted to draw her too. Desperately.

So, when I picked up my prescription from the local CVS, I also picked up the collector's mag, People - Great Lives Remembered - because it had some great photos that I could play with. One has Audrey Hepburn standing with a cluster of balloons. Another is of Rudolph Nurvey dancing.
Currently, I'm working on drawing and painting a bunch of children that I took pictures of while on a Duolos Trip in Juarez, Mexico - way back in 1986. I finished the sketch tonight, and will start painting them this weekend. Last night I finished another sketch of my neice standing in a grove of grass and flowers. Plan on painting that this weekend as well, since I'm less than satisfied with the last painting I did of her.

Don't know if I will share these online or not. People are so critical. You know? And there's two things that I don't wish to receive criticism on at the moment - my art and well whatever I post online. I know I'm critical of cultural things and have been critical of fanfic in the past, but I try not to be critical of people's posts. Hope it's not too hypocritical of me to request a moratorium on criticism of what I post in my lj? Maybe it is. (shrugs) In which case, maybe I should not post my art here?

Speaking of criticism - I think the reason I don't like George Jeanty's art - is he doesn't show enough distinction between faces, and he doesn't pay enough attention to the detail of a face. Urru has a fluidity to his art that I sort of envy. His characters appear to actually move, while Jeanty's feel flat to me and one-dimensional. To me, there's a cartoonish aspect to Jeanty's art that doesn't quite jibe with the story. It almost belittles it or diminishes it. Diminish may be a better word for what I'm attempting to express here. Syntax - not always my strong suite - the internet has torn my writing apart on more than one occasion regarding word choice and syntax - and I don't always agree with them, but have heard the critique often enough to be wary of getting it again. (Memory of an elephant, my grandmother used to accuse. And it doesn't always serve me well.) At any rate - Urru's art in contrast - is like looking at a painting or a dance of color and line across a page. There's so much going on in his drawings. While Jeanty will just hint at background, Urru fills it in, including comedic touches. The two are very different, one feels almost cartoonish in style, a la Charles Schulze or the Sunday Morning Comics, while the other feels like a graphic novel or illustrated book. Not a mere suggestion.

Backing up a bit - I can't do what Urruh does. I envy him a great deal - if I could do that, I'd be an artist or would have pursued it. (And part of me wonders if I had pursued it seriously if I could have come close...I doubt it. ) I can however do what Jeanty does and have done so, way back in junior high school and high school. Illustrated a story in French for a French class in the 10th grade. But Frank Urru of the Spike comics is beyond my abilities. It's sort of like...being able to sing, and you've listened to say someone like James Marsters or Hugh Jackman, and then gone to see...well, Luciana Pavrotti or Marie Callas or Renee Fleming or Barbara Streisand. Someone who blows you away and you think, damn, I can't do that.

Date: 2010-09-03 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] candleanfeather.livejournal.com
I'm happy that the value of your work and your competence got acknowledged by your bosses, it's almost as important as the paycheck and in some cases I'd say even more.

In regard to Buffy n° 36 the reviews I've read have made more interested than ever to the point where I'll probably buy the last arc (won't do it for the entire series though because it's not compatible with the place I have in my flat. :-))About Buffy's characterization I've read several times now the word regression and it's probably spot on, for me there's an evident link with the going back to the beginning theme running throughout the comics; I'm more and more tempted to read this story like some sort of psychoanalysis for Buffy (and regression is part of the process) to get rid of her traumas. From this POV, the Buffy/Angel ship has probably sailed (not that I think Whedon will completely eradicate it, nor do I think she'll resume her relationship with Spike and to be franck I don't really care about this possibility). Have you read Maggie's last post: it's brilliant and she's probably onto something solid. I'd rec you Local_Max post too, another brilliant analysis that looks at the symbolism in the album and believe me that makes a lot of sense.

Have a good day and hopefully enjoy the metas if you haven't already read them.

Date: 2010-09-03 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] candleanfeather.livejournal.com
You're probably right about the divide. For myself, meta is what I enjoy the most.

About the comics not working on an emotional level at least for a great number of people, I agree and wonder if it would have worked better with real actors to give life to the characters. Whedon was probably very conscious of the necessity to translate the emotions of his characters and it's why he choose Jeanty to do the drawings. But Jeanty is confronted to an impossible task. All in all, Whedon's writing works possibly more completely when executed in a media like TV, where the actors can retranslate all the necessary nuances. There's also the fact that Whedon's writing seems to have evolved towards a more dry intellectual work if Dollhouse is any indication. And then there's also the fact that the situations where he has put his characters are really outrageous. Not everybody tastes that sort of humour or satire. His work would certainly have benefited from someone keeping it more grounded, which S Allie wasn't able to do.

Date: 2010-09-04 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] atpo-onm.livejournal.com
I think angearia makes a good point above in regard to watching SMG interpret Whedon's writing on the actual TV show, either by herself or interacting with aanother actor, and the fact that, at least for me, the comics almost never hit that level of emotional connection. I try not to expect them to do so, the medium being inherently limited that way, but it's still always there.

Take for example the "Cookie Dough" speech. Put that in the comic, word for word just as it was in the show, and it would sound ridiculous, because on a content-only basis it's very nearly a childish, stupid thing for a 20-something woman to say.

And yet, Gellar pulls it off. She somehow invests those words with her idea of Buffy's personality, and it comes off not only not stupid, but sweetly charming in this goofy way that works perfectly. It emerges child-like, and not child-ish, and we let her have this unguarded moment before the world ends once again.

Talk about a gift. I'm always kind of saddened that she hasn't chosen better films since her BtVS days. But, she's still young, so, who knows?

BTW, I'd be happy to see some of your art. Might be a good excuse to get a paid subscription (for the photo space) and then you'd get rid of the ads, too!
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