Actually the translation of that excerpt is quite literal and follows closely Proust's syntax, except that the rythm, the music, the breath of the text aren't quite the same eventually for the words sound different.
This bit might be the least close to the original text:
perhaps because of these recollections abandoned so long outside my memory, nothing survived, everything had come apart; the forms and the form, too, of the little shell made of cake, so fatly sensual within its severe and pious pleating- had been destroyed, or, still half asleep, had lost the force of expansion that would have allowed them to rejoin my consciousness.
"had been destroyed" and "half asleep" for instance slightly change the meaning of the sentence, lacking the impressionistic and poetical touch of Proust's lexicon. It's hard to explain but he managed to be accurate and to convey precise thoughts and sensations by using sometimes words or expressions that were a bit vague or equivocal, exactly like impressionists. "S'étaient abolies" is much more mysterious and ambiguous than "had been destroyed" that implies a passive voice and an action verb.
But I am not a translator, it's a very difficult work to do.
Oh and yes French is from the Latin branch and English from the German one, although there are actually many words deriving from French in English.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 08:29 pm (UTC)This bit might be the least close to the original text:
perhaps because of these recollections abandoned so long outside my memory, nothing survived, everything had come apart; the forms and the form, too, of the little shell made of cake, so fatly sensual within its severe and pious pleating- had been destroyed, or, still half asleep, had lost the force of expansion that would have allowed them to rejoin my consciousness.
"had been destroyed" and "half asleep" for instance slightly change the meaning of the sentence, lacking the impressionistic and poetical touch of Proust's lexicon. It's hard to explain but he managed to be accurate and to convey precise thoughts and sensations by using sometimes words or expressions that were a bit vague or equivocal, exactly like impressionists. "S'étaient abolies" is much more mysterious and ambiguous than "had been destroyed" that implies a passive voice and an action verb.
But I am not a translator, it's a very difficult work to do.
Oh and yes French is from the Latin branch and English from the German one, although there are actually many words deriving from French in English.