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shadowkatCross-posting from DW again, because I'm tired of lj's slowness and ad problems. Still on fence about importing and just posting from here.
Had a relaxing weekend, played on the net, read and laughed at a comic, wrote a review about it, played some more, took long walks, went to church (which is always a new experience everytime I go), drew and painted. Have four drawings to start painting now. That should last the week. Also watched Discs 1 and 2 from S1 of Big Love (which were good, but not gripping), and two brilliant episodes of Mad Men which blew me away. S4 Mad Men is by far my favorite season of this show. Best thing I read or watched this weekend was Mad Men - it's character focused, and quite subtle with its themes, unlike some writers who I shan't mention.
At church - it's a Unitarian Universalist Church - which basically means open to all religious and non-religious faiths (ie, all are welcome - whether you are theist or non-theist.) Anyhow - we basically just met in groups and discussed stuff on our minds, such as the on-going Mosque debate. The Mosque debate which is not going away and continues to grate. I do not understand the people who are offended by it or against it. I just can't wrap my head around their argument, it makes no logical or rational sense. It's pure emotion - and based on fear and anxiety, which ahem, was the all intent of the terrorist attack. Hello? Terrorism is about instilling terror and anxiety in the target. There were two readings. I wish I knew where they came from...so I could google them.
The first was about listening. That when someone "deeply" listens to us, focuses on us entirely, hears what we are saying, that we feel understood - it is a warm and brilliant experience and rare, oh so rare. And I remember thinking as I heard that quote how little people actually listen or even carefully read. I've scanned so many posts and responses this weekend, but I think I read very few of them. Often reacting without really giving myself time to digest and think through what the other person was attempting to say.
And for that I am deeply sorry. I will try to do better next time. I think that is the problem with too much information - fed to us constantly, we scan. We filter. We read it fast - but don't quite take the time to digest it. Makes me think back to when I read a good book - how I'll often re-read as I'm reading, go back over a paragraph, or a tv show - I'll rewind, re-watch that bit of dialogue several times...until I feel it in my bones. When I wrote my review of the Buffy comic - I was forced to re-read, to think through what I was reading,
not just to react. And by doing so...I think I understood it better. Taking the time to actually read something before the quick response - is easier said than done in this time of twitter, Facebook, text messaging and email - we are overloaded with text, we barely have time to breath.
The second reading was a quote that has haunted me for the past two days. "Too often we ask the question 'who we are', when the question we should be asking is 'whose we are' - who do we belong to? Whose lives do our decisions/choices touch? Whose lives are affected by what we do or say? Whose lives are touched by ours? Who are we responsible to? Who trusts us? Instead of the self-asborbed question who am I? Perhaps the more meaningful one is whose? And not in the religious sense, but the spiritual one." (This quote was read and written by an atheist.)
It's funny - I had a discussion about writing in the last post (a snarky review on a comic book posted in LJ only) - a brief one...and during it the question was once again raised - who do we write for? Ourselves? And as a writer - whether it be solely on a blog under a crazy name like shadowkat or as a well-known comic book and television writer - do we have a responsibility to those who read and see our work? Does what we produce in part belong to them? It's an odd question for a former copyright specialist to ask - since copyright law firmly states the opposite. Yet, when I read a comic book this weekend and the numerous posts on it - I noticed in both the posts and the comic - ideas and items borrowed from other writers works. Our writing informs one another's, we react to what we've read. And what we put out there, whether we like it or not does affect someone else for good or ill.
Sometime ago, a week maybe, I posted something in a comments thread that I am now a bit ashamed of. I deleted it later. And I banned and deleted the individual who yelled at me for posting it, embarrassing me. I bring this up as an example of how what we can innocently state in a blog under a name other than our own - can hurt someone else - without our intention. The comment was hardly a big deal - it was merely speculation about how a relatively unknown and somewhat minor actress on an old cult tv series that had been cancelled four years ago, lost her job on that series. It was gossip. Meaningless. Like all the other gossip on the net.
Yet - it clearly wounded someone and it hurt me as a result. It backfired on me. I got angry and defensive. But I find myself thinking about it now...about how what I write on the internet in unlocked posts particularly affects others. And whether or not I post something? That affects them to. Maybe not in a huge life-changing way, but one never knows what sort of ripple effect a smile, a laugh, or a scream can cause.
We have more power than we know in our interactions with others. In my last post - I got comments thanking me for posting the review. And before that when I stated it was unlikely I'd continue posting reviews...a friend responded quietly..."but..the nervous snark?" I was touched by the comment. And to be honest? Reading another poster's snarky post on the topic - made me laugh really hard and after a very difficult day. He gave me the gift of laughter.
So yes, we are responsible for what we do in this world, whatever it is. We are not just responsible to ourselves but to others. It's remembering that...sometimes, which can be difficult. Because you know, sometimes I just want to write whatever I want to write, readers be damned. I want to gossip, I want to bitch. I don't want to worry about the consequences.
Watching Mad Men tonight...it hit me how true this is. Two episodes back to back, last week's and this week's - about the consequences of Don Draper's actions. How he affects those around him. You wonder watching them why people tolerate Don - until towards the end of the second episode about the suitcase. In that episode - Don oddly comforts Peggy, after he's ripped her to shreds. It's an episode that depicts the complexity of both Don and Peggy, in detail. Showing the good, bad, and ugly.
They are wrestling with a Samonsite luggage ad that just is not going well. It's Peggy's 26th birthday. Her financee has planned a romantic dinner (or so she believes, turns out it was actually a surprise party with her entire family who she can't abide). Instead of leaving immediately - she goes to check with Don first, who she thinks wants to take off for the boxing match - when in reality Don is avoiding it like the plague, because he doesn't want to do dinner with Sterling and two guys who can't drink. Her team watches her go in and says, fittingly - "no, no...don't go in there! Don't...he'll make you stay! Okay let's leave before we get caught as well." And she does get caught. What she doesn't know is Don is procrastinating calling a woman who is dying, Bethany, his first wife - the woman who knew him best - knew him as Dick Whitman. He doesn't want to call her and deal with the pain of it. Don rips Peggy apart, her ideas apart, her boyfriend ends up dumping her for not showing up, and she finally falls apart in the bathroom. Don calls her back in and the rest of the episode is their discussion, during which you begin to understand why she cares about him. They both, deeply listen to the other, without judgement, without condemning, just listening. And it is that level of listening, while drunk or not that makes the difference. They never have sex, yet they are closer to each other than all the people they have had sex with. Because they listen to the other one - without an agenda. It's a beautiful moment. And it comes after so much pain, and animosity. There's a point even that you think Peggy will quit or leave Don. But that moment explains why she doesn't.
We are defined to a degree by those around us, who we are responsible to, who are decisions directly and indirectly affect. Don is to a degree defined by Peggy who is dependent on him.
You never thank me, she tells him. I pay you, he replies - that's your thank you. You get paid.
And from Roger Sterling's flashbacks - we see that Don had to fight to get Roger to hire him, almost manipulate him into doing it. That it did not come easy. Don calls Peggy back in, after she's fallen apart - to play a tape of Sterling discussing his book he's writing and how he
bagged his partner's secretary, and his partner has fake balls. The gossip is a shared joke between them. Like so many other shared experiences. Don's visit to her in the hospital when she had to give up the baby - results in Peggy's mother believing that Don is the one who knocked her up. Don asks if she knows who it was. Of course I do, she tells him. But she doesn't tell him who - just mentions that yes at the oddest times, she thinks about it.
And wonders if she did the right thing. Made the right choice. Each choice has a consequence.
What I like about Mad Men is the characters are changed and deeply affected by their choices and forced to take responsibility for them. No one is let off the hook.
As a final closing statement - I read another flist meta today (it's flocked, so no, I can't link to it or tell you who it was) where the writer analyzed the Buffy issue 36 comic from a perspective that none of the other metas/reviews that I've seen considered. This post looked at from a purely political and philosophical stance - stating that it is a metaphor for religious zealots - who place far too much trust in holy oracles or biblical text. Angel who trusts an God to tell him what to do, then becomes elevated to God himself - and everyone follows him blindly. Or Buffy who doesn't trust Angel, but gives him her faith and heart - and gets elevated to Goddess status - while all follow her blindly to their doom. The analogy can also be linked to political leaders - who people follow without question, place faith in - without the political leader earning their trust first, and the leader acts as if they are on a mission ordained by God. A holy jihad. The slayer jihad. And Twilight's just war against their unholy religion. This in a way circles back to the debate on the Mosque and how we are responsible for one another and belong to one another, not just to some heavenly body. And it can as well relate to parents, since many see God as a parent of sorts - that we are not just our parents children, we do not belong to them solely. Our actions do not only affect them. Sometimes our parents can be wrong. At church there's a fan that states Question Authority. It's important I think to do so. Trusting blindly in anything can result in horrific consequences as the up-coming anniversary of the 9/11 bombings is testament to. You need look no further than 9/11 to know what blind faith in anything can do.
Off to bed
Had a relaxing weekend, played on the net, read and laughed at a comic, wrote a review about it, played some more, took long walks, went to church (which is always a new experience everytime I go), drew and painted. Have four drawings to start painting now. That should last the week. Also watched Discs 1 and 2 from S1 of Big Love (which were good, but not gripping), and two brilliant episodes of Mad Men which blew me away. S4 Mad Men is by far my favorite season of this show. Best thing I read or watched this weekend was Mad Men - it's character focused, and quite subtle with its themes, unlike some writers who I shan't mention.
At church - it's a Unitarian Universalist Church - which basically means open to all religious and non-religious faiths (ie, all are welcome - whether you are theist or non-theist.) Anyhow - we basically just met in groups and discussed stuff on our minds, such as the on-going Mosque debate. The Mosque debate which is not going away and continues to grate. I do not understand the people who are offended by it or against it. I just can't wrap my head around their argument, it makes no logical or rational sense. It's pure emotion - and based on fear and anxiety, which ahem, was the all intent of the terrorist attack. Hello? Terrorism is about instilling terror and anxiety in the target. There were two readings. I wish I knew where they came from...so I could google them.
The first was about listening. That when someone "deeply" listens to us, focuses on us entirely, hears what we are saying, that we feel understood - it is a warm and brilliant experience and rare, oh so rare. And I remember thinking as I heard that quote how little people actually listen or even carefully read. I've scanned so many posts and responses this weekend, but I think I read very few of them. Often reacting without really giving myself time to digest and think through what the other person was attempting to say.
And for that I am deeply sorry. I will try to do better next time. I think that is the problem with too much information - fed to us constantly, we scan. We filter. We read it fast - but don't quite take the time to digest it. Makes me think back to when I read a good book - how I'll often re-read as I'm reading, go back over a paragraph, or a tv show - I'll rewind, re-watch that bit of dialogue several times...until I feel it in my bones. When I wrote my review of the Buffy comic - I was forced to re-read, to think through what I was reading,
not just to react. And by doing so...I think I understood it better. Taking the time to actually read something before the quick response - is easier said than done in this time of twitter, Facebook, text messaging and email - we are overloaded with text, we barely have time to breath.
The second reading was a quote that has haunted me for the past two days. "Too often we ask the question 'who we are', when the question we should be asking is 'whose we are' - who do we belong to? Whose lives do our decisions/choices touch? Whose lives are affected by what we do or say? Whose lives are touched by ours? Who are we responsible to? Who trusts us? Instead of the self-asborbed question who am I? Perhaps the more meaningful one is whose? And not in the religious sense, but the spiritual one." (This quote was read and written by an atheist.)
It's funny - I had a discussion about writing in the last post (a snarky review on a comic book posted in LJ only) - a brief one...and during it the question was once again raised - who do we write for? Ourselves? And as a writer - whether it be solely on a blog under a crazy name like shadowkat or as a well-known comic book and television writer - do we have a responsibility to those who read and see our work? Does what we produce in part belong to them? It's an odd question for a former copyright specialist to ask - since copyright law firmly states the opposite. Yet, when I read a comic book this weekend and the numerous posts on it - I noticed in both the posts and the comic - ideas and items borrowed from other writers works. Our writing informs one another's, we react to what we've read. And what we put out there, whether we like it or not does affect someone else for good or ill.
Sometime ago, a week maybe, I posted something in a comments thread that I am now a bit ashamed of. I deleted it later. And I banned and deleted the individual who yelled at me for posting it, embarrassing me. I bring this up as an example of how what we can innocently state in a blog under a name other than our own - can hurt someone else - without our intention. The comment was hardly a big deal - it was merely speculation about how a relatively unknown and somewhat minor actress on an old cult tv series that had been cancelled four years ago, lost her job on that series. It was gossip. Meaningless. Like all the other gossip on the net.
Yet - it clearly wounded someone and it hurt me as a result. It backfired on me. I got angry and defensive. But I find myself thinking about it now...about how what I write on the internet in unlocked posts particularly affects others. And whether or not I post something? That affects them to. Maybe not in a huge life-changing way, but one never knows what sort of ripple effect a smile, a laugh, or a scream can cause.
We have more power than we know in our interactions with others. In my last post - I got comments thanking me for posting the review. And before that when I stated it was unlikely I'd continue posting reviews...a friend responded quietly..."but..the nervous snark?" I was touched by the comment. And to be honest? Reading another poster's snarky post on the topic - made me laugh really hard and after a very difficult day. He gave me the gift of laughter.
So yes, we are responsible for what we do in this world, whatever it is. We are not just responsible to ourselves but to others. It's remembering that...sometimes, which can be difficult. Because you know, sometimes I just want to write whatever I want to write, readers be damned. I want to gossip, I want to bitch. I don't want to worry about the consequences.
Watching Mad Men tonight...it hit me how true this is. Two episodes back to back, last week's and this week's - about the consequences of Don Draper's actions. How he affects those around him. You wonder watching them why people tolerate Don - until towards the end of the second episode about the suitcase. In that episode - Don oddly comforts Peggy, after he's ripped her to shreds. It's an episode that depicts the complexity of both Don and Peggy, in detail. Showing the good, bad, and ugly.
They are wrestling with a Samonsite luggage ad that just is not going well. It's Peggy's 26th birthday. Her financee has planned a romantic dinner (or so she believes, turns out it was actually a surprise party with her entire family who she can't abide). Instead of leaving immediately - she goes to check with Don first, who she thinks wants to take off for the boxing match - when in reality Don is avoiding it like the plague, because he doesn't want to do dinner with Sterling and two guys who can't drink. Her team watches her go in and says, fittingly - "no, no...don't go in there! Don't...he'll make you stay! Okay let's leave before we get caught as well." And she does get caught. What she doesn't know is Don is procrastinating calling a woman who is dying, Bethany, his first wife - the woman who knew him best - knew him as Dick Whitman. He doesn't want to call her and deal with the pain of it. Don rips Peggy apart, her ideas apart, her boyfriend ends up dumping her for not showing up, and she finally falls apart in the bathroom. Don calls her back in and the rest of the episode is their discussion, during which you begin to understand why she cares about him. They both, deeply listen to the other, without judgement, without condemning, just listening. And it is that level of listening, while drunk or not that makes the difference. They never have sex, yet they are closer to each other than all the people they have had sex with. Because they listen to the other one - without an agenda. It's a beautiful moment. And it comes after so much pain, and animosity. There's a point even that you think Peggy will quit or leave Don. But that moment explains why she doesn't.
We are defined to a degree by those around us, who we are responsible to, who are decisions directly and indirectly affect. Don is to a degree defined by Peggy who is dependent on him.
You never thank me, she tells him. I pay you, he replies - that's your thank you. You get paid.
And from Roger Sterling's flashbacks - we see that Don had to fight to get Roger to hire him, almost manipulate him into doing it. That it did not come easy. Don calls Peggy back in, after she's fallen apart - to play a tape of Sterling discussing his book he's writing and how he
bagged his partner's secretary, and his partner has fake balls. The gossip is a shared joke between them. Like so many other shared experiences. Don's visit to her in the hospital when she had to give up the baby - results in Peggy's mother believing that Don is the one who knocked her up. Don asks if she knows who it was. Of course I do, she tells him. But she doesn't tell him who - just mentions that yes at the oddest times, she thinks about it.
And wonders if she did the right thing. Made the right choice. Each choice has a consequence.
What I like about Mad Men is the characters are changed and deeply affected by their choices and forced to take responsibility for them. No one is let off the hook.
As a final closing statement - I read another flist meta today (it's flocked, so no, I can't link to it or tell you who it was) where the writer analyzed the Buffy issue 36 comic from a perspective that none of the other metas/reviews that I've seen considered. This post looked at from a purely political and philosophical stance - stating that it is a metaphor for religious zealots - who place far too much trust in holy oracles or biblical text. Angel who trusts an God to tell him what to do, then becomes elevated to God himself - and everyone follows him blindly. Or Buffy who doesn't trust Angel, but gives him her faith and heart - and gets elevated to Goddess status - while all follow her blindly to their doom. The analogy can also be linked to political leaders - who people follow without question, place faith in - without the political leader earning their trust first, and the leader acts as if they are on a mission ordained by God. A holy jihad. The slayer jihad. And Twilight's just war against their unholy religion. This in a way circles back to the debate on the Mosque and how we are responsible for one another and belong to one another, not just to some heavenly body. And it can as well relate to parents, since many see God as a parent of sorts - that we are not just our parents children, we do not belong to them solely. Our actions do not only affect them. Sometimes our parents can be wrong. At church there's a fan that states Question Authority. It's important I think to do so. Trusting blindly in anything can result in horrific consequences as the up-coming anniversary of the 9/11 bombings is testament to. You need look no further than 9/11 to know what blind faith in anything can do.
Off to bed