I just lost everything off my computer in a software crash. Since this last happened more than 10 years ago, I'd gotten sloppy about backing stuff up. As a result I lost >10 years worth of stuff, mostly noncrucial, a lot of it fannish or 'fun'.
Weirdly, what angers me the most about my carelessness is the loss of a spreadsheet wherein I'd tracked every book, fanfic, and video I've read over the past decade (partly so that I didn't accidentally start re-reading things when my memory was poor...which is often). Losing it felt like a negation of all those years of media engagement. Silly, but that's how I feel.
What if I want to recreate >10 years' worth of fanfic memories? It's not that I had so many stored (maybe 50?) but I've read (or begun to read) thousands. I know I'll eventually remember and regather my favorites, but it IS interesting that I have vivid memories of plenty of fanfic that I don't actually like all that much; Herself is a great example...she writes, with memorable power and skill, stories that I often actively dislike. This doesn't negate the fact that, as you say, "Lovingkindness", "What She Deserves", and that human-Spike-in-Vietnam story burn in the memory. You've just gotta salute that level of skill.
As you say, it's a mystery how it all works for the reader. And what about for the writers? Would you rather be read, remembered, and hated? Or read, forgotten, and liked?
Yet I know that I had fic saved for which I have no memory of author or title, only that when I would occasionally re-read it, I'd love it. Then it would fade out of my mind until the next time I noticed it in my fanfic file. Weird.
I read about 45 books this past year and, of course, can now remember only half of those, and that bugs the CRAP out of me. It's funny you mention "Atonement"; I read it this year in prep for the movie and it blew my mind. Haunts me. Author had control of every tiniest nuance...pitch-perfect writing, IMO. But did I like it? Hard to say. Structurally, it's very odd and disjointed(purposefully so) and it's totally unsatisifying as a story. Did it do what the author intended? I suspect, yes.
I have no idea why some things resonate. I first read "The English Patient" about 5 years prior to the film being made. I was busy in college, distracted, not really in the mood for such a poetic and structurally challenging book. I was confused for the first half, not really engaged, then began to fall under the spell of the book. Finished it thinking, "really interesting" not "I loved it". Yet I could NOT forget it. Months went by and I found lines and images burning in my head. Re-read it, and fell madly in love. Rec'd it to everyone I knew, and most of them had the same reaction.
How does that happen? Why does it happen? It's not like that book knocked me on my ass within 5 pages, like "Atonement" did?
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branchandroot
This post struck a chord with me...so pardon while I ramble on.
Date: 2008-01-23 04:40 pm (UTC)Weirdly, what angers me the most about my carelessness is the loss of a spreadsheet wherein I'd tracked every book, fanfic, and video I've read over the past decade (partly so that I didn't accidentally start re-reading things when my memory was poor...which is often). Losing it felt like a negation of all those years of media engagement. Silly, but that's how I feel.
What if I want to recreate >10 years' worth of fanfic memories? It's not that I had so many stored (maybe 50?) but I've read (or begun to read) thousands. I know I'll eventually remember and regather my favorites, but it IS interesting that I have vivid memories of plenty of fanfic that I don't actually like all that much; Herself is a great example...she writes, with memorable power and skill, stories that I often actively dislike. This doesn't negate the fact that, as you say, "Lovingkindness", "What She Deserves", and that human-Spike-in-Vietnam story burn in the memory. You've just gotta salute that level of skill.
As you say, it's a mystery how it all works for the reader. And what about for the writers? Would you rather be read, remembered, and hated? Or read, forgotten, and liked?
Yet I know that I had fic saved for which I have no memory of author or title, only that when I would occasionally re-read it, I'd love it. Then it would fade out of my mind until the next time I noticed it in my fanfic file. Weird.
I read about 45 books this past year and, of course, can now remember only half of those, and that bugs the CRAP out of me. It's funny you mention "Atonement"; I read it this year in prep for the movie and it blew my mind. Haunts me. Author had control of every tiniest nuance...pitch-perfect writing, IMO. But did I like it? Hard to say. Structurally, it's very odd and disjointed(purposefully so) and it's totally unsatisifying as a story. Did it do what the author intended? I suspect, yes.
I have no idea why some things resonate. I first read "The English Patient" about 5 years prior to the film being made. I was busy in college, distracted, not really in the mood for such a poetic and structurally challenging book. I was confused for the first half, not really engaged, then began to fall under the spell of the book. Finished it thinking, "really interesting" not "I loved it". Yet I could NOT forget it. Months went by and I found lines and images burning in my head. Re-read it, and fell madly in love. Rec'd it to everyone I knew, and most of them had the same reaction.
How does that happen? Why does it happen? It's not like that book knocked me on my ass within 5 pages, like "Atonement" did?