I really enjoyed this meta. Do you mind if I friend you? (Are you on Dreamwidth?)
Thank you! And not at all. Yes - under the name "shadowkat". But I seldom post over there. No time. Have it mainly as backup and to read people who prefer it.
One quibble I might have is one I always have about Buffy/Angel, in that I completely agree with your assessment (especially in contrast/comparison to Buffy/Riley and Buffy/Spike), but I've never been certain if the show does in fact criticise it, rather than being somewhat complicit with it. The burning and destroying are clear to see, but there always seems a hint of 'and yet it's worth it'. Even after seven seasons Buffy's still happy to fall into the same patterns, if only for a little while, and that's rewarded by the whole amulet biznaz.
But is she "happy"?? As Dawn relates to Riley in "Shadow" - "She's so much happier with you than she was with Angel. With Angel is was all sturm and drang, grrgah, and weeping. She was crying every night." (Doesn't sound like happiness to me.)
Then Buffy at the beginning of I think Something Blue, where she tells Willow, "I feel like there's something missing, as if I don't have pain in a relationship there's no passion. That's where the fire comes from the horrible pain. But I don't want the pain. I hate the pain. After seeing Angel, even briefly in LA, it all came back again..that horrible pain."
Even in Chosen - Buffy to Angel - "And what was the highlight of our relationship? When you tried to kill me or when I sent you to hell?"
Then in "I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU" - she asks Xander if these are the types of relationships she is doomed to have. And Xander states, have you ever considered where we live? It's a hellmouth. Sort of hard to have a happy relationship.
Sounds like they are critiquing the trope. They are also critiquing the tendency to fall into the same patterns over and over. Note - BTVS is a "horror" series not a gothic romance. I think a lot of people forget that. And it is easy to do, since Whedon builds some pretty hot romances within the series. BUT = every happy romance he builds is split up.
Buffy has "Daddy" issues, big time. Each relationship she has with a guy is to a degree an echo of her father leaving. Hank in When She Was Bad - the last time we actually see him, tells Joyce he felt neglected that Buffy's attention was elsewhere. He didn't feel needed. "Hence the shoes?" asks Joyce, and he nods. He begins to fade more and more after that. It's no accident that all of Buffy's love interests are considerably older - Riley by about 5 to 6 years, Angel by 247, Spike by 128, and even Wood who she briefly dates...by at least 10-15. While the one's her own age - aren't of much interest. Even Parker was older.
She is, like Angel and Spike, repeating the same painful pattern - chasing after the father who left. She's hardly happy. If anything she's miserable.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2009-07-07 04:22 pm (UTC)Thank you! And not at all. Yes - under the name "shadowkat". But I seldom post over there. No time. Have it mainly as backup and to read people who prefer it.
One quibble I might have is one I always have about Buffy/Angel, in that I completely agree with your assessment (especially in contrast/comparison to Buffy/Riley and Buffy/Spike), but I've never been certain if the show does in fact criticise it, rather than being somewhat complicit with it. The burning and destroying are clear to see, but there always seems a hint of 'and yet it's worth it'. Even after seven seasons Buffy's still happy to fall into the same patterns, if only for a little while, and that's rewarded by the whole amulet biznaz.
But is she "happy"?? As Dawn relates to Riley in "Shadow" - "She's so much happier with you than she was with Angel. With Angel is was all sturm and drang, grrgah, and weeping. She was crying every night."
(Doesn't sound like happiness to me.)
Then Buffy at the beginning of I think Something Blue,
where she tells Willow, "I feel like there's something missing, as if I don't have pain in a relationship there's no passion. That's where the fire comes from the horrible pain. But I don't want the pain. I hate the pain. After seeing Angel, even briefly in LA, it all came back again..that horrible pain."
Even in Chosen - Buffy to Angel - "And what was the highlight of our relationship? When you tried to kill me or when I sent you to hell?"
Then in "I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU" - she asks Xander if these are the types of relationships she is doomed to have. And Xander states, have you ever considered where we live? It's a hellmouth. Sort of hard to have a happy relationship.
Sounds like they are critiquing the trope. They are also critiquing the tendency to fall into the same patterns over and over. Note - BTVS is a "horror" series not a gothic romance. I think a lot of people forget that. And it is easy to do, since Whedon builds some pretty hot romances within the series. BUT = every happy romance he builds is split up.
Buffy has "Daddy" issues, big time. Each relationship she has with a guy is to a degree an echo of her father leaving. Hank in When She Was Bad - the last time we actually see him, tells Joyce he felt neglected that Buffy's attention was elsewhere. He didn't feel needed. "Hence the shoes?" asks Joyce, and he nods. He begins to fade more and more after that.
It's no accident that all of Buffy's love interests are considerably older - Riley by about 5 to 6 years, Angel by 247, Spike by 128, and even Wood who she briefly dates...by at least 10-15. While the one's her own age - aren't of much interest. Even Parker was older.
She is, like Angel and Spike, repeating the same painful pattern - chasing after the father who left.
She's hardly happy. If anything she's miserable.
Where's the happy? ;-)