But once she reveals that she had been in heaven, I do feel like he ought to have figured out that this isn't a normal "not wanting to grow up/take responsibility" issue, and reconsidered leaving just then.
Except, I think he's more or less shoving it under the rug much in the same way that Xander does. Giles is in a way going against the teachings of the Watcher Council in regards to Buffy. They would have told him to stay, to be her boss. But Giles treats Buffy not as his slayer, but as his daughter. And, I think, as many parents tend to do, he follows his own parents dictates - in that he figures she'll be fine if he lets her alone. Spike actually sings it in OMWF and I think that Giles more or less echoes the view, its a very male pov actually - "You'll get along...you just have to start living.." stiff upper lip and all that. Giles also doesn't deal with emotional problems and conflicts well - he tends to ignore them. He ignored Buffy/Angel and was more or less oblivious to what had happened to turn Angel into Angelus until Willow verbally slaps him. This is also to some degree a father/guy thing.
I know when I was dangerously depressed (several years ago) - my father's attitude was "get over it" and "work it out". He couldn't handle my depression. He wanted to solve the problem by paying my bills or getting me out there to find a job. Which is what Giles does - he tries to get Buffy a job, he asks her what her plans are, he makes her train again, he pays her bills. He thinks you solve it by doing. When that doesn't seem to work - he thinks okay if I leave you to your devices, let you fall down and pick yourself up - you'll figure out how great you are. Maybe your depressed because you think you need me to make everything work?
Keep in mind that during the last two seasons 4 and 5, Giles went through his own mid-life crisis. He no longer has the library or the school. He's not really a Watcher any more. He's been running the magic shop but it probably isn't doing that well, and he seems a bit out of his depth. Anya is enjoying it more than he is. (Tabula Rasa gets that across quite well, as does All the Way...in neither episode is Giles happy to be in that store.) After Buffy died, he went home to England and set up a new life for himself there. Friends, family. Coming back is inconvienent. He no longer wants to be in Sunnydale and he doesn't feel like he belongs in Sunnydale.
I think Joyce would probably have dealt with Buffy's depression differently. But she also would have reacted the way Giles' has, and the others...you're the hero, you are back now, be happy, so we can go back to our problems. That's how people handle people who are depressed. They don't know how to fix things...they feel frustrated.
Was it the right thing to do? No. Giles should have stayed. He even says as much in Grave. But at the time, when he chose to go it made sense. He did not see how bad Willow was (after all its not like she hadn't done it before - Something Blue), nor appreciate the depth of Buffy's depression (she'd been depressed before - in S3 after Angel died, in S2 - when she came back from summer vacation, in S4 after Angel left and she started school, and in S5 after her mother died and things worked out.)
The explanation for it is in his Restless Dream - where you see him saying I'd had things to do, I'm not needed here, and she's just a child with me...if I go she grows up.
At this point - I think Giles staying would have been out of character, because from his point of view he is doing the right thing. And for him it's incredibly painful. As he sings - it kills me to do this for you, but I must.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2009-08-03 04:47 pm (UTC)Except, I think he's more or less shoving it under the rug much in the same way that Xander does. Giles is in a way going against the teachings of the Watcher Council in regards to Buffy. They would have told him to stay, to be her boss. But Giles treats Buffy not as his slayer, but as his daughter.
And, I think, as many parents tend to do, he follows his own parents dictates - in that he figures she'll be fine if he lets her alone. Spike actually sings it in OMWF and I think that Giles more or less echoes the view, its a very male pov actually - "You'll get along...you just have to start living.." stiff upper lip and all that. Giles also doesn't deal with emotional problems and conflicts well - he tends to ignore them.
He ignored Buffy/Angel and was more or less oblivious to what had happened to turn Angel into Angelus until Willow verbally slaps him. This is also to some degree a father/guy thing.
I know when I was dangerously depressed (several years ago) - my father's attitude was "get over it" and "work it out". He couldn't handle my depression. He wanted to solve the problem by paying my bills or getting me out there to find a job. Which is what Giles does - he tries to get Buffy a job, he asks her what her plans are, he makes her train again, he pays her bills. He thinks you solve it by doing. When that doesn't seem to work - he thinks okay if I leave you to your devices, let you fall down and pick yourself up - you'll figure out how great you are. Maybe your depressed because you think you need me to make everything work?
Keep in mind that during the last two seasons 4 and 5, Giles went through his own mid-life crisis. He no longer has the library or the school. He's not really a Watcher any more. He's been running the magic shop but it probably isn't doing that well, and he seems a bit out of his depth. Anya is enjoying it more than he is. (Tabula Rasa gets that across quite well, as does All the Way...in neither episode is Giles happy to be in that store.) After Buffy died, he went home to England and set up a new life for himself there. Friends, family. Coming back is inconvienent. He no longer wants to be in Sunnydale and he doesn't feel like he belongs in Sunnydale.
I think Joyce would probably have dealt with Buffy's depression differently. But she also would have reacted the way Giles' has, and the others...you're the hero, you are back now, be happy, so we can go back to our problems. That's how people handle people who are depressed. They don't know how to fix things...they feel frustrated.
Was it the right thing to do? No. Giles should have stayed. He even says as much in Grave. But at the time, when he chose to go it made sense. He did not see how bad Willow was (after all its not like she hadn't done it before - Something Blue), nor appreciate the depth of Buffy's depression (she'd been depressed before - in S3 after Angel died, in S2 - when she came back from summer vacation, in S4 after Angel left and she started school, and in S5 after her mother died and things worked out.)
The explanation for it is in his Restless Dream - where you see him saying I'd had things to do, I'm not needed here, and she's just a child with me...if I go she grows up.
At this point - I think Giles staying would have been out of character, because from his point of view he is doing the right thing. And for him it's incredibly painful. As he sings - it kills me to do this for you, but I must.