Lunch Time Poll on Bullying

[shadowkat]

This is a quick poll adjacent to my last post on bullying. Bullying in case there is confusion is defined as teasing, verbal or physical in nature, in which the victim is made to feel shame, fear, pain, insecure, or humiliation. It includes but is not limited to - being called names, having insects put in your food or textbooks, or other creatures, poked fun at, etc. (It is not just being hit or pummeled physically. Mental and emotional bullying is as bad as physical bullying, and leaves scars, they just aren't always quite so visible.) [ETC: Bullying includes teasing, excluding in a way that is obvious - ie four people in a class, three group together and whisper about the fourth while they are there, and it can be by siblings or teachers or fellow students or parents.]

(Sort of hope people will respond. I hate doing polls for this reason. It's not like a post - if no one responds, no big. But polls...sigh. )

[Poll #1631388]

Comments

[ann1962]

I answered yes to being bullied in the workplace. Harlequin, former coworker, bullied everyone around her with manipulation and foul tone. She was unpleasant to everyone.

I so don't miss her! LOL

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I had the most difficulty answering the one about co-workers. I've never been called names or humiliated or the like, but I had two separate male-cowokers who self-appointed themselves 'boss of me'. One insisting that I was his employee and do his work for him(until I went to my actual bosses and threatened to quit (reminding them that I'm an architect not a mechanical engineer and what in the hell was I doing designing the entire mechanical system for a high school anyway?), thereby receiving assurances that I never had to work with that co-worker again. I did, but it was a couple of years later. This particular co-worker also believed he had been repeatedly abducted by aliens.) and another one who told me directly to my face that 'women were put on earth to serve men', whereupon I and a female intern immediately lodged a complaint with bosses that, on top of complaints several clients had lodged got him fired (and whereupon I had learned that waaaaaayyyy back before he was hired there had been a placement/personality test that had listed him as "highly likely to abuse co-workers" which only led me to ask, why in the frell was he hired in the first place? I quit that job a few weeks later.

I only remember one instance of bullying in early childhood and it was just for one day (my mom had a fit and met with teacher/principal. It was second grade so I have no idea what went on). The rest of school was by no means perfect, but I don't think anything would rise to the point that I would call it 'bullying' as opposed to the normal give and take and smartassing between kids. (Well, except for a high-school-social-politics things, but nothing that I'd term 'bullying' per se).

But I also grew up in a town that had less than 5000 inhabitants with my graduating class only having 127 people. Everyone knew everyone's family, so I think that too most likely had influence.).

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

I had a boss who was the poster child for bullying. She treated every single employee like dirt, never washed herself so both her office and her person smelled, stole money from the cash box and if you asked for time off would generally refuse for no reason. And since we were in a separate building from City Hall, no one in authority ever bothered to see what she was up to - or cared for that matter. When she took early retirement no one missed her.

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

I wonder if anybody ever goes completely unbullied. The severity and duration of bullying can vary so much. My child, for instance, is fairly sensitive and feels every hurt, but has never been subject to a campaign of bullying. She appears to have a lot of social savvy and confidence, so we talk a lot about the importance of being kind to all people — without being a pushover. She's still not sure that boys count as people, but I get good reports about her behavior, thankfully. I know that hurt feelings are inevitable, but I've tried hard to give her the tools to be emotionally resilient and to help defend others against emotional assault.

Nowadays, the schools take the issue of bullying seriously, at least around here. No administrator who wants to keep his/her job would be likely to tell a kid to "toughen up" anymore. They can only do something about bullying that they know about, of course, but it's nothing like as rampant as in the bad old days.

[masqthephlsphr.livejournal.com]

I was going to say "No" since the bullying I recall happened to a few friends of mine, but not to me directly. Then I thought, well, the way my older sister treated me certainly fits your definition, and left me with some self-esteem issues despite the fact that I knew some of her behavior was uncalled for.

[rahirah]

I said no because I was never consistently bullied that I can remember. There were a few isolated incidents - a boy jumped me once on the way home from school and clamped a hand over my mouth - I have NO idea what he thought he was doing, but I bit the hell out of his finger and he was so surprised he let me go and never bothered me again. And once some kids threw rocks at me (I told my mom, she told the principal, they got landed on, the end.)

Which I've always taken as evidence that if parents and teachers DO get together and address the problem, it can make a difference.

[embers-log.livejournal.com]

Actually, after clicking on 'no I've never been bullied' I remembered at Girl Scout Camp when a bigger girl (I was always small for my age), a total stranger, came and shoved me out of line.... Of course (red head that I was) I immediately popped back up and shoved her back (I had a big brother, I know you can't just take that kind of thing)...
the girl who shoved me looked at me in surprise and said 'I didn't think you had it in you'
(which shows she doesn't know anything about red heads, size doesn't mean a thing to most of us! lol).

And I guess you could call my big brother someone who would tease and torment his siblings, he certainly knew how to get a rise out of our big sister and little brother, but I usually let it roll off my back.... partly because Robert (the aforementioned big brother) also read to me when I was little, and did a lot of stuff for me... I think I felt that the teasing wasn't a big deal considering how kind he could be.

I know I was lucky : my sister had had braces and glasses from WAY too early an age, and it didn't help that my parents spoke openly about how homely she was... she had no self esteem and was tormented in every way at school. Bullying can really cause a blight on someone's life.

On the internet: there was a woman at Fireflyfans.com who created a teen-age boy alter-ego (a second membership to the site) and would use it to attack people for no reason. She was obviously unhappy in her own life (in her original membership she would talk about stuff she was going through) but felt fine about tormenting other people.... So I loved to go there and expose her when ever she was being a bully (she finally got that second identity shut down and was under threat of being kicked out completely if she didn't cut it out).

[caliente-uk.livejournal.com]

I answered 'no' to the question about having a child who is bullied, as my daughter hasn't been bullied since she left primary school seven years ago. She got bullied quite badly in primary school, though.

[liliaeth]

Bullying should also include being intentionally ignored.

When everyone in class takes group, and even though the class is an even number, they still rather make a group of three, than work on an assignment with you.

When they don't talk to you, unless they have to. When no one seems to even slightly care if you're even in the class, except to mock you.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Answered "no" to question 3, since I don't have kids.

Need to go deal with question 4, I think. :s Thanks for bringing it up; it's been hovering under a Somebody Else's Problem field.