Finding the Funny...

[shadowkat]

1. Been watching the last three episodes of S1 - Scandal. In the first of the three episodes...there's the following scene between the President and his secret service team.
President Grant wants to leave the White House unescorted to share a piece of information he's discovered. The following is Grant negotiating with his secret service team to make it happen.

President Grant (in the Oval OFfice): Hal? Tom? Can you guys come in here a second, please? What if I wanted to get out of here?
Secret Service Team (Hal and Tom): Sir?
President Grant: The press corps lid is on.The staff has all gone home. What if I wanted to leave?
Secret Service: I don't think that's not possible, sir.
President Grant: You're gonna tell me 41 never left? Okay, seriously. 42? Bill Clinton.
William Jefferson Clinton never left?
Secret Service: I wouldn't know anything about past presidents.
President Grant: Kennedy never left the White House in secret? What am I, born yesterday? Secret Service: Sir, we have no knowledge of-
Grant: fine. I want to go somewhere spontaneously. How do I do that?
Secret Service: I would inform our immediate supervisor at the secret service, who'd inform the head of the secret service and the White House press secretary, who'd inform the White House press corps. You'd then be able to leave long with your bulletproof presidential limousine, your chase and follow car, your ambulance, two unmarked vehicles, as well as the sharpshooters and the marine guard.
President Grant: no.
Secret Service: Sir?
President Grant: What if I wanted to go somewhere alone, no secret service, no press, no anything?
Secret Service: Technically, the president of the United States is allowed to refuse the protection of secret service, but, uh...
President Grant: "but, uh," what?
Secret Service: It needs to be approved by the secretary of the treasury, sir. And recorded in the national record.
President Grant: I'm not a prisoner.
Secret Service: No, sir.
President Grant: I am the most powerful man on the planet.
Secret Service: Yes, sir.
President Grant: But I can't leave my house.
Secret Service: No, sir.
President Grant: You see where I might be a little bit annoyed?
Secret Service: Yes, sir.
President Grant: I am a grown man. I am going to leave here. If I have to walk out to the staff parking lot with you two following me, jump into someone's 1994 civic and drive off without protection, I am going to leave. I would like to be safe and not jeopardize the economy of this country when I did so. Can you come up with a way to make that happen?
Secret Service: Two sedans, covered parking, one sharpshooter, and your ambulance.
President Grant: One sedan and covered parking. No sharpshooters and no ambulance.
Secret Service: One sedan, covered parking, no sharpshooters, we keep the ambulance and add two agents.
President Grant: Sold. (leaves)
Secret Service (Tom): Just like 43.
Secret Service (Hal): Yeah.

I found this scene to be hilarious. Had to rewind it twice, was laughing so hard. It's subtle, clever, and the wit sneaks up on you - situational comedy gold. Difficulty with a lot of American comedy is it is not subtle, not clever, and doesn't sneak up on you.

2. The following is an exchange between four characters in the novel The Duchess War by Courtney Milan. Courtney Milan self-publishes her work.

Violet ( a countess), Sebastian Malheur (an evolution scientist and Darwin scholar), Minnie Pursling (a woman who is hiding her past under an assumed name) and Robert the Duke of Clermont (who fears becoming his father and is pursuing Minnie) are journeying to Leicester from London on the train, Robert and his friends have decided to join Minnie in second class - because Robert is pursuing her, albeit badly. This is in Robert's pov.
For brevity - I've stripped away everything but the dialogue.

Miss Pursling look over at the the other woman, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Play princess?"
Violet: Yes. We did when we were children. Over the summers, his (Robert) father would go off visiting, and he'd leave Robert with his sister - Sebastian's mother. Robert, Sebastian and I used to play a game that they called 'Knights and Dragons,' and that I called 'Extremely Boring.' They got to be knights, but I had to sit around as the princess and wait for them to rescue me."
Miss Pursling: I see
Violet: So one day while they were charging about pretending to attack the dragon, I wrote a note saying that I had run away to tread the boards.
Sebastian: I believe you added that you meant to give your virtue to an entire group of bandits first.
Violet: At the time I had no notion what that entailed, but my governess was constantly warning me to protect my virtue with my life. It seemed the the worst threat I could muster.
Miss Pursling: What did your valiant knights do when your defection was discovered?
Violet: They decided it was their duty to hunt me down and feed me to the dragon as punishement.They were not successful. In any event, it made for a far more amusing game.
Sebastian: Mud was involved.
Violet: Thereafter, it was agreed that it was patently unfair for me to play princess every time. So we tossed a coin for it. But Robert never would play princess - not even when it was his turn." (Violet frowned at Robert, and he looked about.)
Robert: A coin only has two sides. There was no way to assign a side to me.
Violet: Except by -
Robert : And now is not the time to get into methods for making coin tosses balance amongst three. Suffice to say, I would have made a very bad princess.
Minnie: I see
Sebastian: You don't. You're thinking that Violet would make a reasonable princess. But she was exactly like this when she was a child - all prim and proper on the outside, but a hellion when no adults were looking. She only looks respectable. I don't know how she did it, but Robert and I would return from our outings covered head to toe in mud, and Violet would look fresh as a spring day.
Violet: There is this lovely thing called water. Boys seems to be unaware of its existence. (Casts Miss Pursling a look over her knitting. [Miss Pursling is currently volunteering to ensure better Hygiene practices amongst the working class and this was at the very start of their conversation.]) Hygiene is important.
Miss Pursling smiled and looked down.
Sebastian: Incidentally for the sake of my dignity, Miss Pursling, I must inform you that when I played the role, it was called 'prince'. Not princess."
Robert: Called prince by you. The rest of us called you 'princess.' It doesn't make sense otherwise. Dragons want to devour princesses. They don't care about princes.
Sebastian: You have a great deal to learn about dragons. Think about it: We get more beef from steers than cows. It's well known that the male of the species produces finer flesh.
Miss Pursling: I thought that we didn't eat female cows because we preferred to save them for their milk.
Sebastian: Dragons like cheese.
Miss Pursling: But dragons cannot milk princesses. They do not have opposable thumbs.
Sebastian: Very clever, and you'd almost be right. But dragons have minions. In any event, it's quite clear that the female of the human species has inferior meat.

Was laughing my head off over this exchange last night. Again a subtle play on words and wit.
Also reminded me a great deal of a lot of online discussions that I've had with people over the years.

Comments

[elisi]

The following is Grant negotiating with his secret service team to make it happen.
Nixon did that for real. Well, not to take secret information, he just wanted to go to a concert. Chuck Colson (a Special Council to Nixon) made it happen (I think they brought some kind of security, but didn't inform all the people they should have... Colson got reprimanded, but Nixon liked him all the better, because he cut through the red tape. :)