In Memorium...

[shadowkat]

Tonight, after reading about the passing of another online friend, I discovered quite by happenstance that one of my closest online friends passed away. The weird bit about online relationships...is we often feel as if we are passing notes to each other across a broad expanse of time and space. Like interstellar pen-pals relating to each other in virtual space. But sometimes, we actually do meet face-to-face. We know each other's names. We know each other's faces. We hold each other's hands.

Her name was Maribeth Martell, you may have known her as embers_log. She passed away on November 19, 2013 after two months of illness. I did not know she was ill. I did know she had stopped posting. For up until Sept, Maribeth posted all the time on Facebook - sharing fandom tid-bits, artistic works, pop cultural musings. Likewise, she posted various reviews and art she'd created on livejournal. Wildly liberal - she had no difficulty speaking her mind. But, people disappear from the internet all the time...rarely due to illness.

I first met Maribeth online in 2003 - then in person at a mutual friend's baby shower, then various times in NYC. Maribeth...was an artist. She designed her own comic book based on Jane Eyre. Created marvelous ceramic creations. Was into steampunk and zombies. She loved zombie movies and books. She also adored Joss Whedon, Terry Prachett, Doctor Who, and Game of Thrones...with a passion.

Embers...never complained. When she was ill - you didn't know it. She wouldn't post about it. And as she told me once, ages ago, words were not her skill, she was not a writer. But art, that was another story.
Online - she seldom fought with others, you would never find her in the middle of a kerfuffle. And if you met her - the first thing you'd want to do is hug her. Maribeth was a lighthearted person, with a warm face, and a kind heart. I do not have words for what she meant to me and how much she helped me over the years - whether the hugs she offered were virtual or face to face, they felt real. And I wish with all my heart I could wrap my arms around her now.

But all these words feel somewhat lacking....I thought of posting a poem by John Donne or Dylan Thomas, but neither fit Maribeth. She told me that my posts read like prose poetry once upon a time, but I find I can't seem...so, instead...I'll post these quotes from writers she loved and adored:


But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I knew her, and then she's—there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead ... anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And ... and Xander's crying and not talking, and ... and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why!
- Joss Whedon, (Anya's Speech in the Body - Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

"I am a leaf on the wind; watch me soar." - Joss Whedon (Wash's speech prior to dying, Serenity)

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.”
― Terry Pratchett

There are people who touch your heart, not just your life, your heart, and by doing so, you are forever changed by them. Maribeth "Embers" Martell was one of those people for me. And for all that knew her.

I miss you, Maribeth.

Found out via her lj what she died of...ulcerative colitis - which came on suddenly and very fast, complicated by a parasitic infection.