The Good, the Bad and The Beautiful...
Nov. 12th, 2003 03:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatStressful week. Splitting this up into hidden sections so you can skip if you want to.
The Good & The Bad & The Wilson's Disease.
When you are in the advanced stages of Wilson's disease - you develop a KF Ring around the retina in your eye, which is only visible through a slit-lamp eye exam. The KF is a sign that your liver is being affected by toxic levels of copper.
Copper is a mineral that we need - in specific quantaties. Low levels of copper - are signs of anemia, mental retardation while high levels of copper can result in liver failure, pyschosis, depression, and other neurological problems. 1/100 people may be born with Wilson's disease, which is a genetic disease that results in the inability of the sufferer to metabolize copper.
Since Wilson's is so rare - very few doctors know what to look for. Several tests are conducted to diagnose Wilson's.
First is the blood test - if the blood comes out with elevated copper levels, this means that you may have difficulty with copper, not that you do. Other things can cause the blood to have elevated copper levels - some medications for example.
Next - is an eye exam. The eye exam is conducted by an opthamologist with a special lamp and magnifying glass - your eyes are dialated, then you press your eye against this very bright neon light and have someone press what amounts to a small magnifying glass against it. The test takes an hour. The doctor conducting the test is hunting for what is called a KF Ring around the pupil.
Living in NYC has its advantages - the doctor who did the test on me - is apparently one of the leading experts on KF rings. People come from all over the world just to have him do this test. It's not a test most people know about apparently.
The good news? I passed it. No KF Ring. While this does not preclude Wilson's, it does mean my liver isn't damaged, and even if I do have Wilson's - I'm not in the advanced stages of it. Very good news, indeed.
The bad news? I have to go see the hematologist now, who specializes in blood disorders, specifically Wilson's. (ie. The whole testing thing, not over.) And this hematologist is really
hard to get a hold of. Ugh.
I'm 75% sure I don't have this ailment - b/c outside of the shaky hands, I'm healthy as far as I know. Logically? It just doesn't make sense.
Of course I could be wrong. Didn't expect to have
high copper levels in my blood either. Do wish I could finish the doctor jumping - pricey for someone who is unemployed, to say the least.
The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful...or my brief brush with the modeling industry.
Interesting interview process. You are ushered into a room. Broken into groups of six. Told to choose
four models from a bunch of photos. Asked to present them to the group at large. Then told to take your seats again, watch the other groups do it. After everyone is done. You get to go up to the front of the room, one by one, introduce yourself to the group at large, and tell them your background. Yep - it's a group interview. You pitch yourself to the group. ACK! ACK! (Several people got up and left when they were asked to do this, deciding on the spot this was "not" for them. Me? I stayed. Why? Too damn curious and desperate to leave, besides cjl and his whole - you win just by showing up deal was rattling around my brain. Also, the whole idea about pitching my abilities in front of a group scared me shitless - so I knew I just had to do it. I will not back out of anything due to just fear and/or anxiety. Call me what you will, but I am "not" a coward.)
So there's approximately 30 people left in the room at this point. Everyone gets up and presents. I'm thinking: damn we need to get a new suite. Navy wool suite, nice yes, but not as fashionable as those cute black suits, plus major shoe problem. Being 5'11 with size 11 feet - I go for the comfy leather blue flats. But I'm coveting those pointy black boots and shoes people are stepping up in. Also the stocking hose/knee-highs? More like ankle
highs. I can't for the life of me get them to stay up. I do have my nice new haircut (looks just like the one Rory has on Gilmore Girls or Willow's in S4, Buffy's in S6)and nice earrings (greek silver/gold hoops close to the ear), pearl and silver necklace close to the throat, and a silver swatch watch. (And no I didn't buy any of them -all
gifts.) The haircut? 30$. Cheap in NYC. Yet I still feel as if I've entered the wrong room somehow. I do a quick speil about my legal background, getting permissions for the publishing company, taking marketing classes...yada, yada, yada. Then sit down. Listening to everyone else, I feel an odd sense of relief. No way are they going to pick me for whatever this thing is.
Am I right? Nope. Damnit! I get to be one of the 25 that stays. Lucky me. Why? I'm an aggressive little bugger. When she asks the group questions, everyone else sits like a lump on a log and I raise my hand and answer.
When we split into groups - me and this other guy take control and pick the photos, we pick the wrong ones but we do it faster than anyone else. I also ask the most questions. Participation? Not a weakness.
Problem is - I "really" don't want this job. It's a management rep - which is a fancy word for talent scout. Basically the deal is to go out and invite people who you think would make great models to come to an open call. You go out with maybe one other person, scout talent, decide if you want to invite them, give them a business card, bring them to an open call (this is basically a group audition) measure them, determine if the company should manage and represent them, if not, turn them away. You can do this in person or by phone after hunting them down on the internet.
[Oh for anyone who is curious about what qualifications you need to be picked as a model? Runway models have to be at least 5'9 if female, and 5'11 if male - why? The fashion designers only bring one size. The females must have a 34 or 32 inch waist. Must be size 8. Print/Promotional models can be the whole range.]
No benefits for the first 30 days. Payment based on the number of quality people you bring in. If you don't bring in a certain number of quality people and don't meet all the other criteria - ie. meetings, open call sessions - then you stay an independent contractor never become a rep. They don't so much hire you as contract you to go out and scout talent.
The very idea of doing this makes me cringe. Remember that industry party I wrote about? Where pumpkinpuss and I stood in a corner and chatted, while cjl worked the room? Well cjl would be better equipped at doing this sort of thing. Introvert here, hello? While I can be as aggressive as the next person - the whole idea of going up to perfect strangers on the street - makes me want to heave.
Plus - not sure I like the idea of bringing in 20 hopefuls, only to have them rejected. Hate rejection myself - don't really want to expose others to it.
Ugh. I hate being desperate. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Took the last job - the one with evil company - out of desperation. Sometimes I think I'd literally stand on my head to get a job right now. And doing this? Would be akin to standing on my head. Why can't someone offer me a job doing something I enjoy and am good at? One of the many reasons I decided to leave the evil company was to get away from the need to cold call people - to call people I did not know, interrupt them, and ask them to do something.
While I'm shallow enough to be able to tell which person would make a good model and which wouldn't just by looking at them. This is not an aspect I like or want to cultivate in myself. I'm also not a fashion person. Could care less about fashion. Someone I think is attractive might not make a good fashion model. Oh I know good fashion when I see it - well enough to know most of my clothes? Not it. I just can't afford any of it. And most of it? Highly uncomfortable. That and I despise shopping. I'm the type of person who likes to go into a semi-empty store, see a few great clothes, try them on, buy them, out of there. I am not fond of browsing in clothing stores. And fashion mags? Not my thing. (Shopping for books? Whole different thing.)
So, methinks I'm going to turn down this opportunity. Either that or give myself an ulcer to go with my shaking hands. (Even though I almost let my Dad talk me into it. He came incredibly close.) It's not really a job, it's an opportunity. Even though I'm desperate and may not get anything else in a long while. Once again, the seed of regret implants itself in my psyche. Should I have left the evil company? Should I take this deal? If I take this job, I might as well still be there. No evil boss, sure. But the other reasons I left are still there. And there's no guarantee I'll make a red cent, possibly lose money actually. Dang, it's hard being true to yourself and your needs in this society. There are days like today, in which I sometimes wonder if I can just put one foot in front of the other.
I feel as if I'm walking over a bog, with the constant threat of my feet being sucked out from under me. All I want is a little stability, a little security. A sense that I'm doing what's right, outside of my gut, which I keep second-guessing. It sounds silly, I know.
At any rate - it was an interesting interview. I've now experienced the orientation interview. Also know a little more than I did before about the modeling industry. Gut-wrenching is an understatement. (The Entertainment industry - is beginning to make my teeth hurt - this is not a fun place guys.) The fact I was asked to become a rep, she's even going to call me tonight to try and convince me - I suppose says something positive about my interview/presentation techniques, even if it's a position and career track I'm not interested in pursuing. Perhaps that's what I should take from the experience - the fact that I can sell myself to others. Something I was beginning to wonder about.
The Good & The Bad & The Wilson's Disease.
When you are in the advanced stages of Wilson's disease - you develop a KF Ring around the retina in your eye, which is only visible through a slit-lamp eye exam. The KF is a sign that your liver is being affected by toxic levels of copper.
Copper is a mineral that we need - in specific quantaties. Low levels of copper - are signs of anemia, mental retardation while high levels of copper can result in liver failure, pyschosis, depression, and other neurological problems. 1/100 people may be born with Wilson's disease, which is a genetic disease that results in the inability of the sufferer to metabolize copper.
Since Wilson's is so rare - very few doctors know what to look for. Several tests are conducted to diagnose Wilson's.
First is the blood test - if the blood comes out with elevated copper levels, this means that you may have difficulty with copper, not that you do. Other things can cause the blood to have elevated copper levels - some medications for example.
Next - is an eye exam. The eye exam is conducted by an opthamologist with a special lamp and magnifying glass - your eyes are dialated, then you press your eye against this very bright neon light and have someone press what amounts to a small magnifying glass against it. The test takes an hour. The doctor conducting the test is hunting for what is called a KF Ring around the pupil.
Living in NYC has its advantages - the doctor who did the test on me - is apparently one of the leading experts on KF rings. People come from all over the world just to have him do this test. It's not a test most people know about apparently.
The good news? I passed it. No KF Ring. While this does not preclude Wilson's, it does mean my liver isn't damaged, and even if I do have Wilson's - I'm not in the advanced stages of it. Very good news, indeed.
The bad news? I have to go see the hematologist now, who specializes in blood disorders, specifically Wilson's. (ie. The whole testing thing, not over.) And this hematologist is really
hard to get a hold of. Ugh.
I'm 75% sure I don't have this ailment - b/c outside of the shaky hands, I'm healthy as far as I know. Logically? It just doesn't make sense.
Of course I could be wrong. Didn't expect to have
high copper levels in my blood either. Do wish I could finish the doctor jumping - pricey for someone who is unemployed, to say the least.
The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful...or my brief brush with the modeling industry.
Interesting interview process. You are ushered into a room. Broken into groups of six. Told to choose
four models from a bunch of photos. Asked to present them to the group at large. Then told to take your seats again, watch the other groups do it. After everyone is done. You get to go up to the front of the room, one by one, introduce yourself to the group at large, and tell them your background. Yep - it's a group interview. You pitch yourself to the group. ACK! ACK! (Several people got up and left when they were asked to do this, deciding on the spot this was "not" for them. Me? I stayed. Why? Too damn curious and desperate to leave, besides cjl and his whole - you win just by showing up deal was rattling around my brain. Also, the whole idea about pitching my abilities in front of a group scared me shitless - so I knew I just had to do it. I will not back out of anything due to just fear and/or anxiety. Call me what you will, but I am "not" a coward.)
So there's approximately 30 people left in the room at this point. Everyone gets up and presents. I'm thinking: damn we need to get a new suite. Navy wool suite, nice yes, but not as fashionable as those cute black suits, plus major shoe problem. Being 5'11 with size 11 feet - I go for the comfy leather blue flats. But I'm coveting those pointy black boots and shoes people are stepping up in. Also the stocking hose/knee-highs? More like ankle
highs. I can't for the life of me get them to stay up. I do have my nice new haircut (looks just like the one Rory has on Gilmore Girls or Willow's in S4, Buffy's in S6)and nice earrings (greek silver/gold hoops close to the ear), pearl and silver necklace close to the throat, and a silver swatch watch. (And no I didn't buy any of them -all
gifts.) The haircut? 30$. Cheap in NYC. Yet I still feel as if I've entered the wrong room somehow. I do a quick speil about my legal background, getting permissions for the publishing company, taking marketing classes...yada, yada, yada. Then sit down. Listening to everyone else, I feel an odd sense of relief. No way are they going to pick me for whatever this thing is.
Am I right? Nope. Damnit! I get to be one of the 25 that stays. Lucky me. Why? I'm an aggressive little bugger. When she asks the group questions, everyone else sits like a lump on a log and I raise my hand and answer.
When we split into groups - me and this other guy take control and pick the photos, we pick the wrong ones but we do it faster than anyone else. I also ask the most questions. Participation? Not a weakness.
Problem is - I "really" don't want this job. It's a management rep - which is a fancy word for talent scout. Basically the deal is to go out and invite people who you think would make great models to come to an open call. You go out with maybe one other person, scout talent, decide if you want to invite them, give them a business card, bring them to an open call (this is basically a group audition) measure them, determine if the company should manage and represent them, if not, turn them away. You can do this in person or by phone after hunting them down on the internet.
[Oh for anyone who is curious about what qualifications you need to be picked as a model? Runway models have to be at least 5'9 if female, and 5'11 if male - why? The fashion designers only bring one size. The females must have a 34 or 32 inch waist. Must be size 8. Print/Promotional models can be the whole range.]
No benefits for the first 30 days. Payment based on the number of quality people you bring in. If you don't bring in a certain number of quality people and don't meet all the other criteria - ie. meetings, open call sessions - then you stay an independent contractor never become a rep. They don't so much hire you as contract you to go out and scout talent.
The very idea of doing this makes me cringe. Remember that industry party I wrote about? Where pumpkinpuss and I stood in a corner and chatted, while cjl worked the room? Well cjl would be better equipped at doing this sort of thing. Introvert here, hello? While I can be as aggressive as the next person - the whole idea of going up to perfect strangers on the street - makes me want to heave.
Plus - not sure I like the idea of bringing in 20 hopefuls, only to have them rejected. Hate rejection myself - don't really want to expose others to it.
Ugh. I hate being desperate. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Took the last job - the one with evil company - out of desperation. Sometimes I think I'd literally stand on my head to get a job right now. And doing this? Would be akin to standing on my head. Why can't someone offer me a job doing something I enjoy and am good at? One of the many reasons I decided to leave the evil company was to get away from the need to cold call people - to call people I did not know, interrupt them, and ask them to do something.
While I'm shallow enough to be able to tell which person would make a good model and which wouldn't just by looking at them. This is not an aspect I like or want to cultivate in myself. I'm also not a fashion person. Could care less about fashion. Someone I think is attractive might not make a good fashion model. Oh I know good fashion when I see it - well enough to know most of my clothes? Not it. I just can't afford any of it. And most of it? Highly uncomfortable. That and I despise shopping. I'm the type of person who likes to go into a semi-empty store, see a few great clothes, try them on, buy them, out of there. I am not fond of browsing in clothing stores. And fashion mags? Not my thing. (Shopping for books? Whole different thing.)
So, methinks I'm going to turn down this opportunity. Either that or give myself an ulcer to go with my shaking hands. (Even though I almost let my Dad talk me into it. He came incredibly close.) It's not really a job, it's an opportunity. Even though I'm desperate and may not get anything else in a long while. Once again, the seed of regret implants itself in my psyche. Should I have left the evil company? Should I take this deal? If I take this job, I might as well still be there. No evil boss, sure. But the other reasons I left are still there. And there's no guarantee I'll make a red cent, possibly lose money actually. Dang, it's hard being true to yourself and your needs in this society. There are days like today, in which I sometimes wonder if I can just put one foot in front of the other.
I feel as if I'm walking over a bog, with the constant threat of my feet being sucked out from under me. All I want is a little stability, a little security. A sense that I'm doing what's right, outside of my gut, which I keep second-guessing. It sounds silly, I know.
At any rate - it was an interesting interview. I've now experienced the orientation interview. Also know a little more than I did before about the modeling industry. Gut-wrenching is an understatement. (The Entertainment industry - is beginning to make my teeth hurt - this is not a fun place guys.) The fact I was asked to become a rep, she's even going to call me tonight to try and convince me - I suppose says something positive about my interview/presentation techniques, even if it's a position and career track I'm not interested in pursuing. Perhaps that's what I should take from the experience - the fact that I can sell myself to others. Something I was beginning to wonder about.
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Date: 2003-11-13 02:12 pm (UTC)Um, oops, totally went on a tagent in your journal. My apologies! At any rate, I'll be crossing my fingers for you that a diagnoses comes more quickly. Best Wishes to you.
Thanks
Date: 2003-11-13 09:21 pm (UTC)No problemo about the personal stuff, actually thanks for sharing. I don't mind people talking about themselves on my live journal. I think it adds something.
I remember when I was being tested to see why my hormones were out of wack
I identify. I'm on the pill myself for some of the same reasons - to keep hormones in sync. Off the pill?
I have the worse periods, break out big time, and PMS from hell. Problem is the pill can cause high copper levels to appear in the blood. It doesn't mean there is a high level of copper, it just means it can look that way. Very confusing.
Medical tests are a nightmare.