Falling down the hill again
Jan. 29th, 2004 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatI got the rejection letter from that last interview today. "I was extreemly impressed with the caliber of applicants thus making the decision a difficult one. Unfortunately, I have chosen another applicant to fill the position." At least it's a nice rejection letter. Heck at least I got a letter and fast too. Usually they don't respond at all. Be thankful for small favors. I know, I know - it's not the right position, I'll get another better one...yadda yadda yadda. But for some reason I just feel as if someone has once again punched me in the gut just as I was coming over the crest of that hill and I'm rolling head over heels backwards again.
Underneath it was a letter from the evil company informing me that my Cobra insurance bill went up by $33. Okay let's see: rent went up $50, electric
went up $30, cable went up $10, phone $10, dial-up seems to be getting slower and slower...but can't afford a faster service right now.
What do I do? To get a little comfort? Rent a movie? Nah. I buy brownie mix. Spend money I don't have on brownie mix. Well it wasn't that much - only $3, actually cheaper than renting a movie, but still. Brownie mix and mint chocolat chip frosting to go on top of it.
I feel a bit like Sissyphus who has once again fallen down that hill. Cried for an hour. Caught somewhere between an anxiety attack and a depression. And wondering if there really is a light at the end of this tunnel or a top to the hill. It's been over 14 months now. Not counting the interviews and hunting I did while at the evil company. I feel embarrassed, angry, anxious, and I just feel this overwhelming urge to scream at the top of my lungs - GO FUCK YOURSELF WORLD! I don't of course. That would be uncivilized.
Underneath it was a letter from the evil company informing me that my Cobra insurance bill went up by $33. Okay let's see: rent went up $50, electric
went up $30, cable went up $10, phone $10, dial-up seems to be getting slower and slower...but can't afford a faster service right now.
What do I do? To get a little comfort? Rent a movie? Nah. I buy brownie mix. Spend money I don't have on brownie mix. Well it wasn't that much - only $3, actually cheaper than renting a movie, but still. Brownie mix and mint chocolat chip frosting to go on top of it.
I feel a bit like Sissyphus who has once again fallen down that hill. Cried for an hour. Caught somewhere between an anxiety attack and a depression. And wondering if there really is a light at the end of this tunnel or a top to the hill. It's been over 14 months now. Not counting the interviews and hunting I did while at the evil company. I feel embarrassed, angry, anxious, and I just feel this overwhelming urge to scream at the top of my lungs - GO FUCK YOURSELF WORLD! I don't of course. That would be uncivilized.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 04:31 pm (UTC)I know it's not much, but if there are any books you want, I'll check the store for them and ship some to you.
Re: books
Date: 2004-01-29 07:51 pm (UTC)And it is a tempting offer...very tempting. I'd love War and Peace by Tolestoy, Mayor of Casterbridge by Hardy,
Handful of Dust by Waugh...and fun fantasy books like Sunshine by McKinley...but I don't want to put anyone out. It's expensive to ship books.
Re: books
Date: 2004-01-30 07:16 am (UTC)Re: books
Date: 2004-01-30 11:16 am (UTC)I hope you are well. And I really hope you do well at your interview. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have to give an oral presentation. Fingers crossed!
Re: books
Date: 2004-01-31 12:17 pm (UTC)Thanks for the luck. Am nervous but what the hell, eh?
Re: books
Date: 2004-01-30 07:24 am (UTC)Re: books
Date: 2004-02-04 01:14 pm (UTC)But I got you some books ^_^. Could you email your address to me at mervinthefrog at yahoo.com?