We few...we band of buggered

[shadowkat]

I'm speaking of the five people on my friends list who didn't think Ats 5.18 was the cat's pajamas and were just a little disturbed by the message at the end. I think it's five, may be less. Not sure.

Sigh. Bad day. Very bad day. Getting worse. It's past one and I should sleep, instead I keep writing and deleting posts.

Got some bad news tonight about my sister-in-law who just had the baby. She's in dreadful pain. Slipped disc and severe back contusion from her labor, which have made it impossible for her to care for her new baby. I'm terribly worried about her.
She's such a sweet person and so does not deserve this. And there's nothing I can do to help. My brother is keeping everyone but close friends away at this point - due to her fragile emotional state. (Her mother is not helping her, they had to throw her out). The whole situation makes me cry.
All my other problems, of which there are many, seem silly in comparison. There is nothing worse than wanting to help and being unable to.

Comments

Re: Ah what bugged me about Origin

[arethusa2.livejournal.com]

Yey, yes and yes. It's is when Angel ignores the love he has for his friends and they for him that he makes these dreadful mistakes. Cordy rejected earthly love for a "big picture" position. Connor became a killer because he could not feel love. W&H's holding cell brought to mind "A Wrinkle in Time" again-I think Ann1962 pointed this out first?-and that central machine that controlled everyone was defeated by love. It was the one thing IT didn't understand, couldn't control. It's the spanner in the works, that Skip said the Powers couldn't control or take into account either. Buffy's love saved the world from Glory, Xander's love for his friends saved Buffy and Willow, Connor's love for his parents will, I think, help him overcome his traumatic memories.

Re: Ah what bugged me about Origin

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

It may also be why Spike is there this season, or one of the reasons.
Spike changed himself because he fell in love and acknowledged that love. It's why he got the soul. And it's why he wore the amulet and saved the world. Angel keeps denying himself love - because he thinks it will unleash Angelus - he believes love unleashes his monster, as we see him mention in Smile Time. But was it "his love" for Buffy that unleashed Angelus, or Buffy's love for him, the fact he felt bliss for being loved? To love, requires pain and risk - it's what the First Slayer Guide told Buffy in Intervention. Risk the pain.
Angel is afraid to risk it and as a result he remains in the eternal loop symbolized by the penalty box he finds Lindsey in.

It's an odd Catch-22, To break the cycle - Angel must love, but he fears to love because of Angelus underneath. Sort of like Connor and the memories. Will the memories turn Connor into a monster?