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Aug. 2nd, 2018 09:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1. Not been reading that much of late...mainly because everything I try does not hold my interest. My latest was "Love Storm by Susan Johnson" which is a selection of the "Smutty Brooklyn Book Club", which looked like fun and I haven't been able to go to until now, due to prior commitments. BUT, I'm not sure I can make it through the book...due to the purple prose.
And I've a higher tolerance than most. I liked to description. But the writer overuses adverbs and adjectives, like most amateur writers. I did when I was kid. But I grew out of it. It's a common flaw in genre fiction and fanfic.
Note - you do not require an adverb or adjective after said on instead of said. You don't ever require the words he or she said, unless it's not clear who is speaking. Delete the words the reader's mind skips.
Sample sentences from "Love Storm" -
ME: Ack. No, no, no. This is killing me. Where is the frigging line editor???
And I start editing.
"Amelia, sure of her loviliness tonight, dressed in a low-cut, figure-hugging violet velvet gown, the stylish train sweeping out around her as Alex swung them among the dancing couples, lifted lashed lavender eyes, smiled into the rather forbidding face regarding her, and placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," the prince retorted, the hours of drinking at the Yacht Club this afternoon and evening not conducive to moderating his Kuzan temper."
Or..better yet....
Amelia, dressed in a low-cut, figure-hugging violet velvet gown, the stylish train sweeping out around her as Alex swung them among the dancing couples, smiled (up at) the rather forbidding face regarding her, and placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," the princechurlishly retorted, the hours of drinking at the Yacht Club this afternoon and evening not conducive to moderating his temper."
Or pure minimalism.
"As Alex swung them among the dancing couples, Amelia looked up at him and placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," Alex retorted, the hours of drinking at the Yacht Club this afternoon and evening not conducive to moderating his temper."
I know I can be wordy, but...And it annoys me to no end that I paid $7.95 for a traditionally published novel that could have been easily edited.
We don't need all the words. Hint? Only use as many words as is needed to get your point across. Less is always more.
2. So, struggling to find something to read that holds my attention. (Do not recommend speculative science fiction. I joined a sci-fi book club too, and can't get into any of their books either, for separate reasons. You have to be in the right frame of mind for speculative sci-fi.)
Don't worry, this will pass. It's probably due to the fact that I'm on a writing streak. And I can't focus long enough to read, because my own story, inside my own head is taking over.
3. Why is it every fandom I play around with gets caught up in "my characters are morally superior to yours" nyah, nyah, nyah.
No they aren't.
Depends on perspective.
You are missing the point of the story.
Get over your own ego for five seconds. Who made you the arbitrator on morality anyhow?
[This is a daytime soap fandom. The characters have 50 years worth of nasty doings to debate about. LOL!)
And I've a higher tolerance than most. I liked to description. But the writer overuses adverbs and adjectives, like most amateur writers. I did when I was kid. But I grew out of it. It's a common flaw in genre fiction and fanfic.
Note - you do not require an adverb or adjective after said on instead of said. You don't ever require the words he or she said, unless it's not clear who is speaking. Delete the words the reader's mind skips.
Sample sentences from "Love Storm" -
"Amelia, eminently sure of her loviliness tonight, dressed in an exceedingly low-cut, figure-hugging violet velvet gown, the stylish train sweeping out around her as Alex faultlessly swung them among the dancing couples, lifted seductively lashed lavender eyes, coyly smiled into the rather forbidding saturine face regarding her, and softly placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," the prince churlishly retorted, the hours of drinking at the Yacht Club this afternoon and evening not conducive to moderating his unbridled Kuzan temper."
ME: Ack. No, no, no. This is killing me. Where is the frigging line editor???
And I start editing.
"Amelia, sure of her loviliness tonight, dressed in a low-cut, figure-hugging violet velvet gown, the stylish train sweeping out around her as Alex swung them among the dancing couples, lifted lashed lavender eyes, smiled into the rather forbidding face regarding her, and placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," the prince retorted, the hours of drinking at the Yacht Club this afternoon and evening not conducive to moderating his Kuzan temper."
Or..better yet....
Amelia, dressed in a low-cut, figure-hugging violet velvet gown, the stylish train sweeping out around her as Alex swung them among the dancing couples, smiled (up at) the rather forbidding face regarding her, and placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," the prince
Or pure minimalism.
"As Alex swung them among the dancing couples, Amelia looked up at him and placated, "But Sasha darling, how was I to know Boris would win two nights running at the Yacht Club gaming tables? He stays another night to see if his luck holds."
"With him it has to be luck, a more heavy-handed player I've yet to see," Alex retorted, the hours of drinking at the Yacht Club this afternoon and evening not conducive to moderating his temper."
I know I can be wordy, but...And it annoys me to no end that I paid $7.95 for a traditionally published novel that could have been easily edited.
We don't need all the words. Hint? Only use as many words as is needed to get your point across. Less is always more.
2. So, struggling to find something to read that holds my attention. (Do not recommend speculative science fiction. I joined a sci-fi book club too, and can't get into any of their books either, for separate reasons. You have to be in the right frame of mind for speculative sci-fi.)
Don't worry, this will pass. It's probably due to the fact that I'm on a writing streak. And I can't focus long enough to read, because my own story, inside my own head is taking over.
3. Why is it every fandom I play around with gets caught up in "my characters are morally superior to yours" nyah, nyah, nyah.
No they aren't.
Depends on perspective.
You are missing the point of the story.
Get over your own ego for five seconds. Who made you the arbitrator on morality anyhow?
[This is a daytime soap fandom. The characters have 50 years worth of nasty doings to debate about. LOL!)
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Date: 2018-08-03 07:29 am (UTC)I don't follow any online fandoms since the Buffy / Angel days, but I suspect that comparable moral superiority contests would be a losing game on any of The 100 fanboards.
I know you've stopped watching this series, but I think you recall enough of it to get the point I just made. And then there's the current season, wrapping next Tuesday, which at the very beginning, the showrunners pitched the overall season theme as "No bad guys, no good guys-- just survivors."
Yeeeah, they called that one. Man, is this season dark, dark, dark. Very well done, as usual, but... eeesh!
So, struggling to find something to read that holds my attention. Do not recommend speculative science fiction.
Visited my library, picked out two non-SF books I enjoyed in the past:
The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Castaneda
Still one of the most fascinating and engrossing books I've ever read regarding alternate ways of perceiving reality from the viewpoint of a very different culture than ours. Supposedly a true story, there were several followup books that were pretty good also, but eventually (after the fourth or fifth book) there was an increasing debate about how much of what Castaneda "reported" was real, and what he possibly made up. Whichever the case, still utterly fascinating.
Piano Lessons - Music, Love & True Adventures by Noah Adams
Yes, Noah Adams of NPR's All Things Considered fame. In his 52nd year, Noah decided to go after a life-long desire, to learn to play the piano. There are twelve chapters, one for each month, as he details the journey.
Easy for me to emphasize with, as I always wanted desperately to be a musician, but lack the gene more than quite a bit. Noah had better luck, and the book ends in a lovely moment.
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Date: 2018-08-03 05:11 pm (UTC)I agree on the 100. I stopped watching around S4, because it just got too dark for me. (After Ali, and around the time they left to find a solution for the on-coming apocalypse.) The reason I stopped was I figured out where they were headed and thought, eh, no...I'd rather watch something much lighter. LOL!
, but I suspect that comparable moral superiority contests would be a losing game on any of The 100 fanboards.
Yet play it they do. They were doing it in S2-3 at any rate. They really hate Bellamy. Sort of similar to the "Spike" wars. I veered away. Since I liked Bellamy, and felt no desire to go through that again. This has happened with more than one fandom. I jumped away from Doctor Who -- for the River Song hatred by crazy Rose shippers. (I didn't like Rose and like River). I jumped away from the BSG fandom due to crazy shippers who hated Apollo (a favorite character of mine).
It's really just..."I hate this character and want everyone else to hate them too, so the writers will realize this, torture the character and make him or her go away, and my favorite character will take center stage or be put with the lead, etc!!!" LOL!
I keep wanting to gently shake them and say, "Dude, going on a fan board and pressuring people to look at it your way, isn't going to change their perspective on this. You can't change someone's mind by bullying them. If anything, they will just become even more convinced they are right."
That's what I learned from various Buffy fandom kerfuffles. Kindness changes minds, not bullying.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-03 01:54 pm (UTC)Well, to be perfectly honest, I suspect that a lot of romance novel devotees love all that excessive verbiage, maybe find it comforting. And they are not alone. How else can you explain the same kind of needless blathering in Dan Brown and a myriad of other very popular writers who don't write romance. Of course, it's not good writing. Nobody will remember it in 50 years. But for some reason a certain very large group of readers just can't seem to get enough of it.
I glance at that blurb on Amazon, see the cliches "glittering ballroom" and "darkly handsome stranger" and I think, well, that book's good for at least a hundred pages of rubber stamped, needless adverbs and adjectives, alone. Maybe there is a story in there somewhere, but it takes a different sort of person from me to want to wade through that muck to find it. Then I see they are charging $7.95 for the e-version of it and think somebody really must love that stuff.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-03 04:59 pm (UTC)To be fair, not all of it was written that way. Quite a bit isn't. Say what you will about 50 Shades of Grey, it was low on adverbs. And Stephen King pointed out that Harry Potter while a great read, had tons of adverbs.
What most readers do is ignore the writing style. They just care about the story. And they haven't really been trained like we have to notice or care about the writing style. They skim most of the book, their eyes jumping over the words or sections they don't like and just grab what they want from it. My mother told me that she often just skims these things. That's how they read them in two hours or a day.
I can't read like that - not well. So that's probably why it bugs me more. (shrugs)
Dan Brown's description is on the minimalist side. "The professor resembled Harrison Ford in his later movies with a bit of a beard."
He should have said Tom Hanks, who ended up playing him. LOL!
Helen Fielding described her Darcy in Bridget Jones as resembling Colin Firth, and they actually got Colin Firth to play him.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-03 07:15 pm (UTC)(Prof. Langdon asks where the murder victim's body is, and instead of answering that question Inspector Fache says)"As you probably know the Grand Gallery is quite long." (Obviously Brown doesn't believe the reader knows or that the reader will believe this simple statement about it. So we get the following further digression from the story to tell us...)
The exact length, if Langdon remembered correctly, was around 1500 feet, the length of three Washington Monuments laid end to end. Equally breathtaking was the corridor's width, which easily could have accommodated a pair of side by side passenger trains.The center of the hallway was dotted by the occasional statue or colossal urn, which served as a tasteful divider and kept the traffic moving down one wall and up the other.
I just love the total nonsense created by inserting the word 'exact.' "It's exactly around..." Is two roomy-train-tracks wide breathtaking? ... Thank God, the dividers were tasteful! And thank you, Mr. Brown, for telling us the visitors wouldn't walk down the middle of the 'breathtakingly' wide hallway. Just what we were fearful of when we witnessed the murder Fache is investigating. Murder *and* willy-nilly foot traffic, that would be unbearable!
The whole paragraph is unnecessary. but if he just had to display his knowledge/research and a stray silly adverb as well, Brown could have just said within the paragraph where Fache speaks:
"If Langdon remembered correctly, it was as long as three times the height of the Washington Monument. It was breathtakingly wide as well, dotted through the center with statues and the occasional colossal urn."
Rowling does often write like she is getting paid by the word. But I can't complain about her adjectives and adverbs.