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shadowkatAbout a week ago, I did a poll on Bullying. One of the questions was if anyone had witnessed or seen bullying on the internet or cyber-bullying. Of the 40 people who responded, 28 stated that they had been bullied in school and 28 had witnessed cyber-bulling. That is roughly 73% of the people who responded.
Today, is stand up against cyber bullying day. Wear purple - which I did. But no one noticed, because my work-place skews older than 45 and no one is really online. Thought I'd finish off the day with this post.
First off - what is cyber bullying? Because when I saw the responses I wondered if we all define it the same way. So, I did what any responsible internet poster/blogger does - I goggled it.
The first definition is from Olweus - the World's Foremost Prevention Against Bullying Program.
http://www.olweus.org/public/cyber_bullying.page
What is Cyber Bullying?
Cyber bullying is bullying which uses e-technology as a means of victimising others. It is the use of an Internet service or mobile technologies - such as e-mail, chat room discussion groups, instant messaging, webpages or SMS (text messaging) - with the intention of harming another person. ...
Cyber bullying has some rather unique characteristics that are different from traditional bullying:
* Anonymity: As bad as the "bully" on the playground may be, he or she can be readily identified and potentially avoided. On the other hand, the child who cyber bullies is often anonymous. The victim is left wondering who the cyber "bully" is, which can cause a great deal of stress.
*Accessibility: Most children who use traditional ways of bullying terrorize their victim at school, on the bus, or walking to or from school. Although bullying can happen elsewhere in the community, there is usually a standard period of time during which these children have access to their victims. Children who cyber bully can wreak havoc any time of the day or night.
* Punitive Fears: Victims of cyber bullying often do not report it because of: (1) fear of retribution from their tormentors, and (2) fear that their computer or phone privileges will be taken away. Often, adults' responses to cyber bullying are to remove the technology from a victim - which in their eyes can be seen as punishment.
*Bystanders: Most traditional bullying episodes occur in the presence of other people who assume the role of bystanders or witnesses. The phenomenon of being a bystander in the cyber world is different in that they may receive and forward emails, view web pages, forward images sent to cell phones, etc. The number of bystanders in the cyber world can reach into the millions.
* Disinhibition: The anonymity afforded by the Internet can lead children to engage in behaviors that they might not do face-to-face. Ironically, it is their very anonymity that allows some individuals to bully at all.
This brings up another question - what is bullying?
"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."
This definition includes three important components:
1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.
Bullying can take on many forms. As part of the Olweus Bullying Questionnaire, students are asked if they have been bullied in any of these nine ways:
1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying
9. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet) Learn more
What strikes me about the definitions is bullying is always about "power". Reminds me of something I told a work colleague today about a situation in which I was being bullied by project managers,
I said power. When someone gets power, doesn't matter how nice a person they are - the power goes to their heads and they start to wield it and not always in a nice or productive manner. We see it on fanboards with people who get well, big-headed. Or with Hollywood filmmakers, or politicians.
And the vast majority of bullies in school are kids who are cheerleaders, jocks, or "popular".
In our stories - we talk about it. Everyone notes it. From Huckleberry Finn where Tom Sawyer bullies Jim to Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Cordelia who relentlessly bullies Willow and Xander with the aid of her top minion Harmony. Notable children's books about bullying include Judy Bloom's excellent "Blubber", Robert Cormier's The Chocolat War, Fieldings' The Lord of the Flies,
the excellent To Kill A Mockingbird - where bullying is in some respects analogized to killing a mockingbird, Harriet the Spy, and countless others that I can't recall at this specific moment.
Television shows that have referenced bullying in various guises range from The Office to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Glee, Popular, Veronica Mars, Freaks and Geeks, Square Pegs, Wonder Years, Happy Days, and Gilmore Girls all dealt with the topic.
And to some extent we've all encountered it to one degree or another. Those who have a support system either at home or elsewhere - survive it better than those who don't. Those who are the most different, who do not conform to the norm, or adapt to the group dynamic - are targeted.
Cyber-bullying as it states above is the most dangerous form of bullying and the hardest to stop - because it is so insidious. The Bully can hide behind another name. I've been bullied online - whedonesque - a bigname fan by the name of zeitgeist went after me. To the point that I vowed never to go on whedonesque again. He and his friends invaded a post I did in my lj on Dollhouse and I stopped the kerfuffle that may have occurred by a)screening all posts and b) deleting everyone who didn't say anything constructive and was merely needling and kicking me. When they realized they were being deleted and were not seen by anyone else but me, if at all. They retreated to Whedonesque - where my friends stood up for me as did the moderator.
I didn't consider it bullying - so answered no to my poll. But I guess it could have been. The difference? I had power. I deleted them from my journal and I avoided the fan site. Also the moderator - who I had a good relationship, deleted half the posts on whedonesque and blasted them for stepping out of line. (In short it did not harm me that much. I have friends online. People know me. But it did sour me on fandom a bit and a great deal on whedonesque.)
It's important not to bully someone who does not share your opinion on a fan related topic. They have a right to see it differently, even if you find how they see it offensive or insane. Don't pile on top of them. I think in fandom, particularly, there is a fine line. I think we've all felt bullied in our fandoms at different points, although if we consider...it isn't true bullying.
We have power. True bullying is when we don't. When someone with power goes after us, repeatedly.
In 2001-2002 - I was the victim of workplace bullying. My boss at the time decided to bully me into resigning and leaving the company and he had the support and cooperation of the President. There was nothing I could do. So I eventually left the company in the fall of 2002, without a job in place and was unemployed for 23 months. It was a trying time in my life. Which I wrote heavily about online via meta on Buffy and in my livejournal. For a long time after I left, I had PTD because of the bullying and 9/11 which happened in tandem. Yet, what I had a support system - I had my friends and family. The bully who did this to me - suffered a nervous breakdown, and ended up leaving the company in disgrace, while I had left two years prior with dignity and my head held high.
But that is not the case for most victims. Sorry to say.
Statistics on bullying and suicide:
1. UK: http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/suicide.htm
5000 suicides. Two people each day, under the age of 24 in the UK commit suicide. A common cause is bullying.
2.30,622 deaths by suicide in the US.
3. Cyberbulling statistics reported by i-SAFE, Inc.
http://www.isafe.org/channels/sub.php?ch=op&sub_id=media_cyber_bullying
# Cyber Bullying Statistics 42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happen more than once.
# 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once.
# 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages.
# 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once.
# 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.
# 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.
5. From the http://www.cyberbullying.us/research.php
We have also found that middle-school victims of cyberbullying score higher on a suicidal ideation scale. We have heard many tragic stories of adolescents who commit suicide after enduring bullying and/or cyberbullying. Clearly more research is necessary.
From the excellent site: http://www.makeadifferenceforkids.org/cyberbullying.html
The effects of cyberbullying are not limited to hurt feelings. Research suggests that victims of cyberbullying respond much like traditional bullying victims in terms of negative emotions, such as feeling sad, anxious, and having lower self-esteem.
When these negative emotions aren’t dealt with properly, victims may resort to deliquency or suicide.
* Online victims are eight times more likely to report carrying a weapon to school in the last 30 days than non-bullied victims
* Cyberbullying has led to at least 4 cases of suicide in the United States and many more abroad. Suicide related to cyberbullying is called “cyberbullycide”
Aseltine,Gore, & Gordon, 2000; Cowie & Berdondini, 2002; Ybarra & Mitchell, 2007
New studies published in the book, "Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard" by Hinduja and Patchin, charts the following reasons why youth bully online:
* 22% motivated by revenge
* 18.7% said the victim deserved it
* 10.6 % said they did it for fun
* 3.9% hated the victim
* 3.5% pressured by peers
* 2.8% retaliated against a bully
* 2.5% venting anger
* 5.7% other reasons
According to the 2007 Executive Research Summary "Teens and Cyberbullying" produced by the National Crime Prevention Council, when teens were asked why they were cyberbullied, they responded
* They think it’s funny (81%)
* They don’t think it’s a big deal
* They don’t think about the consequences
* They are encouraged by friends
* They think everybody cyberbullies
* They think they won’t get caught
* Cyber Bullying Tips Tell a trusted adult about the bullying, and keep telling until the adult takes action.
* Don’t open or read messages by cyber bullies.
* Tell your school if it is school related. Schools have a bullying solution in place.
* Don’t erase the messages—they may be needed to take action.
* Protect yourself—never agree to meet with the person or with anyone you meet online.
* If bullied through chat or instant messaging, the “bully” can often be blocked.
* If you are threatened with harm, inform the local police.
And finally two videos entitled - Bullied to Death - they died as a result of Bullying:
Today, is stand up against cyber bullying day. Wear purple - which I did. But no one noticed, because my work-place skews older than 45 and no one is really online. Thought I'd finish off the day with this post.
First off - what is cyber bullying? Because when I saw the responses I wondered if we all define it the same way. So, I did what any responsible internet poster/blogger does - I goggled it.
The first definition is from Olweus - the World's Foremost Prevention Against Bullying Program.
http://www.olweus.org/public/cyber_bullying.page
What is Cyber Bullying?
Cyber bullying is bullying which uses e-technology as a means of victimising others. It is the use of an Internet service or mobile technologies - such as e-mail, chat room discussion groups, instant messaging, webpages or SMS (text messaging) - with the intention of harming another person. ...
Cyber bullying has some rather unique characteristics that are different from traditional bullying:
* Anonymity: As bad as the "bully" on the playground may be, he or she can be readily identified and potentially avoided. On the other hand, the child who cyber bullies is often anonymous. The victim is left wondering who the cyber "bully" is, which can cause a great deal of stress.
*Accessibility: Most children who use traditional ways of bullying terrorize their victim at school, on the bus, or walking to or from school. Although bullying can happen elsewhere in the community, there is usually a standard period of time during which these children have access to their victims. Children who cyber bully can wreak havoc any time of the day or night.
* Punitive Fears: Victims of cyber bullying often do not report it because of: (1) fear of retribution from their tormentors, and (2) fear that their computer or phone privileges will be taken away. Often, adults' responses to cyber bullying are to remove the technology from a victim - which in their eyes can be seen as punishment.
*Bystanders: Most traditional bullying episodes occur in the presence of other people who assume the role of bystanders or witnesses. The phenomenon of being a bystander in the cyber world is different in that they may receive and forward emails, view web pages, forward images sent to cell phones, etc. The number of bystanders in the cyber world can reach into the millions.
* Disinhibition: The anonymity afforded by the Internet can lead children to engage in behaviors that they might not do face-to-face. Ironically, it is their very anonymity that allows some individuals to bully at all.
This brings up another question - what is bullying?
"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."
This definition includes three important components:
1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.
Bullying can take on many forms. As part of the Olweus Bullying Questionnaire, students are asked if they have been bullied in any of these nine ways:
1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying
9. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet) Learn more
What strikes me about the definitions is bullying is always about "power". Reminds me of something I told a work colleague today about a situation in which I was being bullied by project managers,
I said power. When someone gets power, doesn't matter how nice a person they are - the power goes to their heads and they start to wield it and not always in a nice or productive manner. We see it on fanboards with people who get well, big-headed. Or with Hollywood filmmakers, or politicians.
And the vast majority of bullies in school are kids who are cheerleaders, jocks, or "popular".
In our stories - we talk about it. Everyone notes it. From Huckleberry Finn where Tom Sawyer bullies Jim to Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Cordelia who relentlessly bullies Willow and Xander with the aid of her top minion Harmony. Notable children's books about bullying include Judy Bloom's excellent "Blubber", Robert Cormier's The Chocolat War, Fieldings' The Lord of the Flies,
the excellent To Kill A Mockingbird - where bullying is in some respects analogized to killing a mockingbird, Harriet the Spy, and countless others that I can't recall at this specific moment.
Television shows that have referenced bullying in various guises range from The Office to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Glee, Popular, Veronica Mars, Freaks and Geeks, Square Pegs, Wonder Years, Happy Days, and Gilmore Girls all dealt with the topic.
And to some extent we've all encountered it to one degree or another. Those who have a support system either at home or elsewhere - survive it better than those who don't. Those who are the most different, who do not conform to the norm, or adapt to the group dynamic - are targeted.
Cyber-bullying as it states above is the most dangerous form of bullying and the hardest to stop - because it is so insidious. The Bully can hide behind another name. I've been bullied online - whedonesque - a bigname fan by the name of zeitgeist went after me. To the point that I vowed never to go on whedonesque again. He and his friends invaded a post I did in my lj on Dollhouse and I stopped the kerfuffle that may have occurred by a)screening all posts and b) deleting everyone who didn't say anything constructive and was merely needling and kicking me. When they realized they were being deleted and were not seen by anyone else but me, if at all. They retreated to Whedonesque - where my friends stood up for me as did the moderator.
I didn't consider it bullying - so answered no to my poll. But I guess it could have been. The difference? I had power. I deleted them from my journal and I avoided the fan site. Also the moderator - who I had a good relationship, deleted half the posts on whedonesque and blasted them for stepping out of line. (In short it did not harm me that much. I have friends online. People know me. But it did sour me on fandom a bit and a great deal on whedonesque.)
It's important not to bully someone who does not share your opinion on a fan related topic. They have a right to see it differently, even if you find how they see it offensive or insane. Don't pile on top of them. I think in fandom, particularly, there is a fine line. I think we've all felt bullied in our fandoms at different points, although if we consider...it isn't true bullying.
We have power. True bullying is when we don't. When someone with power goes after us, repeatedly.
In 2001-2002 - I was the victim of workplace bullying. My boss at the time decided to bully me into resigning and leaving the company and he had the support and cooperation of the President. There was nothing I could do. So I eventually left the company in the fall of 2002, without a job in place and was unemployed for 23 months. It was a trying time in my life. Which I wrote heavily about online via meta on Buffy and in my livejournal. For a long time after I left, I had PTD because of the bullying and 9/11 which happened in tandem. Yet, what I had a support system - I had my friends and family. The bully who did this to me - suffered a nervous breakdown, and ended up leaving the company in disgrace, while I had left two years prior with dignity and my head held high.
But that is not the case for most victims. Sorry to say.
Statistics on bullying and suicide:
1. UK: http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/suicide.htm
5000 suicides. Two people each day, under the age of 24 in the UK commit suicide. A common cause is bullying.
2.30,622 deaths by suicide in the US.
3. Cyberbulling statistics reported by i-SAFE, Inc.
http://www.isafe.org/channels/sub.php?ch=op&sub_id=media_cyber_bullying
# Cyber Bullying Statistics 42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happen more than once.
# 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once.
# 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages.
# 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once.
# 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.
# 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.
5. From the http://www.cyberbullying.us/research.php
We have also found that middle-school victims of cyberbullying score higher on a suicidal ideation scale. We have heard many tragic stories of adolescents who commit suicide after enduring bullying and/or cyberbullying. Clearly more research is necessary.
From the excellent site: http://www.makeadifferenceforkids.org/cyberbullying.html
The effects of cyberbullying are not limited to hurt feelings. Research suggests that victims of cyberbullying respond much like traditional bullying victims in terms of negative emotions, such as feeling sad, anxious, and having lower self-esteem.
When these negative emotions aren’t dealt with properly, victims may resort to deliquency or suicide.
* Online victims are eight times more likely to report carrying a weapon to school in the last 30 days than non-bullied victims
* Cyberbullying has led to at least 4 cases of suicide in the United States and many more abroad. Suicide related to cyberbullying is called “cyberbullycide”
Aseltine,Gore, & Gordon, 2000; Cowie & Berdondini, 2002; Ybarra & Mitchell, 2007
New studies published in the book, "Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard" by Hinduja and Patchin, charts the following reasons why youth bully online:
* 22% motivated by revenge
* 18.7% said the victim deserved it
* 10.6 % said they did it for fun
* 3.9% hated the victim
* 3.5% pressured by peers
* 2.8% retaliated against a bully
* 2.5% venting anger
* 5.7% other reasons
According to the 2007 Executive Research Summary "Teens and Cyberbullying" produced by the National Crime Prevention Council, when teens were asked why they were cyberbullied, they responded
* They think it’s funny (81%)
* They don’t think it’s a big deal
* They don’t think about the consequences
* They are encouraged by friends
* They think everybody cyberbullies
* They think they won’t get caught
* Cyber Bullying Tips Tell a trusted adult about the bullying, and keep telling until the adult takes action.
* Don’t open or read messages by cyber bullies.
* Tell your school if it is school related. Schools have a bullying solution in place.
* Don’t erase the messages—they may be needed to take action.
* Protect yourself—never agree to meet with the person or with anyone you meet online.
* If bullied through chat or instant messaging, the “bully” can often be blocked.
* If you are threatened with harm, inform the local police.
And finally two videos entitled - Bullied to Death - they died as a result of Bullying: