Okay, deep breaths...

[shadowkat]

Well, one of the staffing companies called me today and offered me a temp position for 6 days. Starts this Friday.
Ends next Friday. 8am-5pm. Receptionist. $18 an hour, not bad, could be much worse, although 18 an hour in NYC is the equivalent of 8 an hour everywhere else. I basically help out a corporation/banking company answering their phones. (Sigh. Why is it every time I get temp work, I end up on phone duty? Oh well at least it's answering phones instead of making phone calls.) That's not bad - interview and a temp job. So explain to me why I'm freaking out? I just wish it was a computer job, I need to work on my Word/Excel/Access skills, not the phone skills. But beggers can't be choosers, right? At this point if someone called me and said they'd pay me $18 an hour to pick up doggie poop, I'd probably say yes.

Need to apply to more jobs. Applied to one today. Have 40 job emails, ten job emails that I could probably swing a resume and cover letter for, and so far only got up the energy to apply to one. And after Friday, will only have time to do it in the evenings. So tired of applying to and looking for jobs.


Oh, have a question for any of the philosophers on my friends' list. Does anyone know the difference between Existentialism and Objectivism? I know it sounds like a really dumb question, but if you do - could you explain it to me? I did a post on ATPO recently that I'm beginning to think makes me look really dumb, because maybe I got it all wrong? Thanks.

Post is here:

http://www.voy.com/14567/12482.html



Existentialism is a tough concept to wrap one's mind around. It's a bit like quicksliver - slips through your fingers. In watching Whedon's commentary for Objects in Space, I was struck by the fact that Whedon himself wasn't quite sure what it meant. Sure he’d read a few things here and there, but nothing in depth. So it makes it a bit hard to write a story around it. The 1960s TV show THE PRISONER was also an experiment in existentialism and has often been compared with Whedon's series, but unlike Whedon’s shows, Patrick McGooghan who created the Prisoner was interested in spoofing a particular genre and discussing a particular philosophy. The idea that there is no meaning for objects outside the meaning we ourselves give on them. The struggle people may have with it - I think - is the desire to impose structure and rules upon a concept that may be the opposite? Impose meaning. Which isn’t really existentialism so much as objectivism. Perhaps my own understanding is on the foggy side. Or better yet a morality. This is the struggle many essayists and viewers have with BTVS and ATS - the desire to impose a moral structure on fictional characters and fictional universe. If it doesn’t meet these rules, it does not work. Or if the character doesn’t adhere to certain moral codes, he cannot be redeemed or we have to find a way to excuse him. Many viewers struggled with Angel’s actions in S4-S5 ATS, actions they found morally repugnant. How do you keep an anti-hero a hero or resolve the issue that he may in fact be both or neither? Particularly when you've been taught to categorize things and impose structure. The problem with ATS and BTVS is that Whedon wasn't interested in telling a structured straightforward tale that could be pigeon-holed. He wanted to tell what was in his head and folded many genres and ideas he'd read or thought about in it as well as subsconcious musings. He did not do what Patrick McGooghan did with The Prisoner series and set out to spoof one genre and deal with one philosophy. He had many ideas as did his writers, and he encouraged them to explore them through the tv shows he created. So when we attempt to impose a structure on ATS or BTVS, we lose it. And also lose the point of the work - which was of course pure entertainment and joy.

Another related issue, I see here, is perhaps the confusion between Objectivism and Existentialism? The objectivist wants to impose his own sense of control on the universe - mold it in his hands like clay. Control his own reality – like many alleged existentialists I knew in college, and Willow in BTVS. If Buffy is the existentialist, Willow may very well be the objectivist. She imposes her control on her reality. I Am JOHN GAULT, I control my reality, my universe. He is "god", or is that Nietzsche? Philosophy confuses me at times. There's so much overlap or at least there seems to be. Angelus in some ways is the ultimate Objectivist, and Angel too - the desire to control his world. Yet both learn, as in fact did Willow, that this is impossible in a universe of random events and uncontrollable variables. To attempt to do so results in one of two possible ends – destruction of the universe – darkWillow in Grave, or destruction of oneself, Angelus possibly in Becoming. Angelus learns through his spat with the Immortal, the Master, and finally the gypsy curse (which ultimately proves to Angelus that he is not master of his fate and cannot control his world), and Angel through visions, Jasmine, WR&H, Buffy, and Illyria that the amount of control we have is limited. Too many variables. The best you can do in the end is well keep on trucking. Accept what happens, yet not let it go without meaning. Sort of what Wes does with Fred/Illyria - he allows Illyria to lie to him, which makes them both feel better. He accepts Fred is gone, but he also allows the lie. Just as Connor accepts what Angel did with the mindwipe and who he once was, yet also allows the lie to continue. It's not giving up - it's more a realistic almost religious honoring of the randomness of their universe and their own inability to control it, yet at the same time an ability to affect in some small way. ie. We can't change the fact that we are alcoholics, but we can change how we cope with it?

Comments

the temp job is likely to lead to something more perm.

[knullabulla.livejournal.com]

9 times out of 10, when they're say they just need somebody to answer the phones for a week, what they're really saying is "We need somebody to fulfill a permanent position doing more complex office work... so we're doing a one week 'interview' to make sure the person actually has a brain". My last two week assignment lasted for 10 months. Trust me, the SECOND you say anything about knowing about how to use the computer, they'll be drooling for you to help them with things.

This assignment is to prove to the agency that you're a good person to send out on jobs; remember that a happy client will lead to more (and better) assignments from the agency.

Good Luck and Have Fun!

Re: the temp job is likely to lead to something more perm.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

Thanks...being in NYC and at Citicorp, it's probably just answering phones. But that's great advice on the last bit. Thanks.