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shadowkatFinds me taking a very brief walk around the block - too nervous about going much further. It's cool but not cold. I didn't wear a jacket and was okay, but wished I had one. Still wearing the mask I got from the friend in Arizona everywhere - mainly because it's the only I have that doesn't fall off the ears and feels thick enough. I also wear the blue and white dental surgical masks that I got from Amazon and just about every other person is wearing.
I hadn't left my apartment in four days. Well, except to take the trash to the shoot, which doesn't quite count. The new neighbors keep leaving assorted things with what appears to be a furniture transporter device in the hallway. I keep circling around it and keep wishing they'd remove it.
Today it had a debilitated cardboard box and plastic wrapping next to it.
The apartment that is catty corner to mine - which is where it was - gets a lot of turn over. It's had four different people in it since I moved in.
It's not that big. But it does have a nice kitchen and bath set up, although I think that shower/bath set up is rather hard - I struggled with it - when the super let me take a shower in there about five years ago, when it was vacant and pipes had frozen and they were trying to fix mine.
Anyhow, I'd edgy and irritable today. So I made banana nut muffins from a banana bread mix - Breads from Anna - Gluten Free/Allergy Free mixes. It required 1/3 cup oil (coconut oil), 3 large eggs (well beaten), 3 ripe bananas, chopped nuts, and the mix.
Rather easy. I prefer mixes because making my own allergy/grain free flour is hard. This also was yeast free.
It's good, but I think a bit too sweet? Maybe too many bananas? I don't know. I'm hormonal this weekend, and I have the typical headaches, hot flashes, and hormonal fluctuations that come this time of month. Unfortunately some of those symptoms fit COVID-19 - so I get confused and have to remind myself that I had the same ones not that long ago, and long before the stupid COVID thing existed. Allergies have similar issues. If you are plagued by peri-menopause, menopause, PMS, migraines, vertigo headaches, allergies, hot flashes, or ashma - the stupid pandemic is going to be ever so slightly crazy inducing.
Also did church via Zoom, or as my parents would call it music and a lecture. Not quite true, we do have rituals - such as candle lighting for a joy or concern, offertory - to give to people in need, a wisdom story - usually a book with pictures, and lots of great music and a sermon. I really can't handle more ritual than that. Rituals and organized religion makes me twitchy. Did put up cousin's name for prayers. The sermon was about generational divides and divisiveness and how we need to get over that.
Between talking to mother, jumping about on social media, torturing myself with the NY Times and the COVID MAP OF DOOM (I draw the line at Twitter - the people on Twitter have a mean sense of humor and think too highly of themselves, I keep wanting to smack them), I've been binge watching television shows. Was going to read, but can't get myself to do it.
Mother: You father wanted to know if I did Twitter. I told him no...do you do it?
Me: Not really, I put myself on it to market my book - because everyone said you have to do that. Colossal waste of time. Only have 20 followers - and I really don't want any more than that. You can get yourself into trouble on Twitter right quick. I personally find it headache inducing. I do not recommend.
Mother: I know your brother and niece don't.
Me: No. Niece does Snapchat and Instagram. Twitter is passe from her generation's perspective. (Yes, the teens have moved on - thankfully.)
Mother: I told him Facebook was for older people.
Me: Pretty much. The teens are on Snapchat - which is kind of a mashup of text messaging and photosharing with friends, kind of like Facebook but more user friendly, and TikTock.
Mother: Whose on Twitter?
ME: Mainly the media and evil marketing bots. It's really mean. (There's also a lot of bored and frustrated writers, celebrities, actors, and politicians on Twitter - not to mention wannabee celebrities - hence the meaness.)
Mother: Aren't you limited in what you can say - number of characters?
Me: Yep. That's why it's mean. It's easy to say nasty things in a one-liner, doesn't require much work at all to insult someone. Also the media is camped out on it - so if you write anything interesting to the media - they'll grab it and make it go viral.
Mother: Ah. I'll stay off.
Me: Definitely.
I've gone off Twitter again and am contemplating cancelling my account. I'm not sure I want to support a platform that supports evil marketing bots that support and further Trump's agenda to kill us all to save his and his cronies bank accounts.
Anyhow, television. Because what else is there to do when you live alone in a small apartment with no deck, no terrace, no backyard, and a big 55 inch television set?
* Nancy Drew - finished watching this season, which had a nifty twist that actually tracked back to the beginning of the season and explained a lot of things. Not to mention how it set up some new conflicts. And, they killed off a semi-major character that not only kept the lead character in town, but also, set the series firmly in the category of femme noir meets paranormal hijinks.
It's a worthy successor to Veronica Mars, and weirdly more enjoyable - mainly because the characters (the young adults) are more likable, it's a wee bit more diversified, and I like the lead better. I mention Veronica, because just now, I tried the first episode of the 2019 reboot, and ...I'm not sure it works - - also it reminded me that I liked everyone but Veronica. It may be the actress - who I appear to have a love/hate relationship with. I did with Gellar too. Maybe I just have issues with pretty, petite, snarky blonds? (shrugs). I also realized halfway in that I was watching Veronica Mars for well everyone else and they aren't really in it. This is a problem. And, I'm not crazy about Rob Thomas's writing - kind of figured that out a very long time ago - when I tried other series that he wrote and never lasted more than a handful of episodes. It's a personal thing, I don't expect anyone to agree with me. All of that said - it's kind of amazing that I stuck with Veronica for three years, watched the movie and loved it when it was on - again I think it's because I ignored Veronica and liked everything else? OR I liked Veronica as a high school student, not as an adult.
Anyhow, not having that problem with Nancy Drew in part because they are in their twenties and not in high school to start out with. Also, they've done a good job of setting up the noir atmosphere without falling heavily into cliche - mainly do to the ghost story elements.
The other thing I've binge watched and may or may not go back to - six episodes in at the moment, is Money Heist - this is the thing that all the critics and people love. It's a European Crime drama about a bunch of people who take the Spanish Mint in Madrid hostage. The actors are all European, although it appears to be filmed in English. It's gritty and compelling, even though I wouldn't say the characters are necessarily likable or that attractive. But it is so different from our current situation and so normal - it feels nicely escapist - it's a thriller, and we can escape into it, without worries. But, alas it is also violent, and I don't feel a desperate need to pick it up again.
I may try "Catherine the Great" or "Avatar: The Last Airbender" instead.
New York's email is taking a break for Memorial Day, although the Governor did his live-briefing from Jones Beach. My parents were impressed since he was in Albany yesterday and that's a long ride. I informed them that he has his own private plane - I know because I saw a picture of him and his daughter asleep on it on Facebook.
I kind of envied him - Jones Beach, while windy, would have been nice today.
He didn't really say anything new - except that we need to focus on rebuilding a better world after this is over and concentrate on infrastructure. I don't know - right now, I focusing on one day at a time - I think beyond that, I freak out and want to curl in a ball in the middle of my bed. My mother lives in fear of me calling her in tears and informing her that I have COVID, and there's nothing she can do to help me. While I live in fear that a hurricane will hit them in the middle of this crisis and there's nothing I can do. Life loves to bring new and interesting anxieties our way usually in the form of news reports on television that we could live without.
Oh, in case you missed it... This was the Front Page of the New York Times Today - The New York Times lists on its front page a 1000 names of the dead from around the US, with their obituaries, in memorial for the 100,000 dead (this includes the probable and confirmed deaths due to COVID-19, the COVID MAP OF DOOM only includes the confirmed). We've been averaging about 1000 a day, and expect to be well over 100,000 dead by June 1. 100,000 people that were alive on New Year's Day that are dead a scant five months later - of all ages, creeds, races, etc. The global death count is 344,997 according to the COVID MAP OF DOOM. When people talk about epidemics, pandemics, plagues, or even all those zombie movies - what they don't really talk about is the lives lost.
The Atlantic also releases an article Grappling with a Terrible Milestone: One Hundred Thousand Dead
Honestly? I'm grappling with over Three Hundred Thousand People dead around the world, because I have friends around the world, and this is a pandemic not an epidemic.
And I feel awash in guilt - for thinking a mere three to four months ago that there were too many people in the world. God. I didn't want this. To watch the numbers slowly rise on the internet and television set. To see family members and friends mention having it, struggling with it, or losing people to it. All while I sit alone in the silence of my apartment, with only an air purifier whirring beside me. There's no other sound but the clacking of my computer keys. Every night it enters my dreams. Every time I leave my apartment, I put on the mask and worry that I'm forgetting things. I'm constantly worrying about forgetting things, about not having the right things, about not reaching out to people - or who I should reach out to. I call my mother twice a day to break up the monotony and the silence.
I reach for normalcy. And when I watch taped television for a bit - I push what is happening outside to bay. I had to hunt a Nancy Drew episode on streaming because the one I taped was pre-empted by a news conference on COVID-19 - back then we had a mere 296 cases and the Doofus was setting up a task force to combat it, now with a 100,000, he's abandoned it and is playing golf, and telling churches they can reopen and hold services. It feels odd.
Sitting alone now in the silence. I find myself weary and fatigued. And wondering...what the world will bring upon the morrow, with the sun high in the air and the sky a pristine blue. Today it was cool and overcast. Now it is finally dark, with the nightlights on in various area houses, where people sit much like myself either alone or with their families...wondering much the same thing, when will this be over? And what will our world look like when it is? I wish I was more hopeful, but I've seen too many horror films...the endings aren't always that clear.
I hadn't left my apartment in four days. Well, except to take the trash to the shoot, which doesn't quite count. The new neighbors keep leaving assorted things with what appears to be a furniture transporter device in the hallway. I keep circling around it and keep wishing they'd remove it.
Today it had a debilitated cardboard box and plastic wrapping next to it.
The apartment that is catty corner to mine - which is where it was - gets a lot of turn over. It's had four different people in it since I moved in.
It's not that big. But it does have a nice kitchen and bath set up, although I think that shower/bath set up is rather hard - I struggled with it - when the super let me take a shower in there about five years ago, when it was vacant and pipes had frozen and they were trying to fix mine.
Anyhow, I'd edgy and irritable today. So I made banana nut muffins from a banana bread mix - Breads from Anna - Gluten Free/Allergy Free mixes. It required 1/3 cup oil (coconut oil), 3 large eggs (well beaten), 3 ripe bananas, chopped nuts, and the mix.
Rather easy. I prefer mixes because making my own allergy/grain free flour is hard. This also was yeast free.
It's good, but I think a bit too sweet? Maybe too many bananas? I don't know. I'm hormonal this weekend, and I have the typical headaches, hot flashes, and hormonal fluctuations that come this time of month. Unfortunately some of those symptoms fit COVID-19 - so I get confused and have to remind myself that I had the same ones not that long ago, and long before the stupid COVID thing existed. Allergies have similar issues. If you are plagued by peri-menopause, menopause, PMS, migraines, vertigo headaches, allergies, hot flashes, or ashma - the stupid pandemic is going to be ever so slightly crazy inducing.
Also did church via Zoom, or as my parents would call it music and a lecture. Not quite true, we do have rituals - such as candle lighting for a joy or concern, offertory - to give to people in need, a wisdom story - usually a book with pictures, and lots of great music and a sermon. I really can't handle more ritual than that. Rituals and organized religion makes me twitchy. Did put up cousin's name for prayers. The sermon was about generational divides and divisiveness and how we need to get over that.
Between talking to mother, jumping about on social media, torturing myself with the NY Times and the COVID MAP OF DOOM (I draw the line at Twitter - the people on Twitter have a mean sense of humor and think too highly of themselves, I keep wanting to smack them), I've been binge watching television shows. Was going to read, but can't get myself to do it.
Mother: You father wanted to know if I did Twitter. I told him no...do you do it?
Me: Not really, I put myself on it to market my book - because everyone said you have to do that. Colossal waste of time. Only have 20 followers - and I really don't want any more than that. You can get yourself into trouble on Twitter right quick. I personally find it headache inducing. I do not recommend.
Mother: I know your brother and niece don't.
Me: No. Niece does Snapchat and Instagram. Twitter is passe from her generation's perspective. (Yes, the teens have moved on - thankfully.)
Mother: I told him Facebook was for older people.
Me: Pretty much. The teens are on Snapchat - which is kind of a mashup of text messaging and photosharing with friends, kind of like Facebook but more user friendly, and TikTock.
Mother: Whose on Twitter?
ME: Mainly the media and evil marketing bots. It's really mean. (There's also a lot of bored and frustrated writers, celebrities, actors, and politicians on Twitter - not to mention wannabee celebrities - hence the meaness.)
Mother: Aren't you limited in what you can say - number of characters?
Me: Yep. That's why it's mean. It's easy to say nasty things in a one-liner, doesn't require much work at all to insult someone. Also the media is camped out on it - so if you write anything interesting to the media - they'll grab it and make it go viral.
Mother: Ah. I'll stay off.
Me: Definitely.
I've gone off Twitter again and am contemplating cancelling my account. I'm not sure I want to support a platform that supports evil marketing bots that support and further Trump's agenda to kill us all to save his and his cronies bank accounts.
Anyhow, television. Because what else is there to do when you live alone in a small apartment with no deck, no terrace, no backyard, and a big 55 inch television set?
* Nancy Drew - finished watching this season, which had a nifty twist that actually tracked back to the beginning of the season and explained a lot of things. Not to mention how it set up some new conflicts. And, they killed off a semi-major character that not only kept the lead character in town, but also, set the series firmly in the category of femme noir meets paranormal hijinks.
It's a worthy successor to Veronica Mars, and weirdly more enjoyable - mainly because the characters (the young adults) are more likable, it's a wee bit more diversified, and I like the lead better. I mention Veronica, because just now, I tried the first episode of the 2019 reboot, and ...I'm not sure it works - - also it reminded me that I liked everyone but Veronica. It may be the actress - who I appear to have a love/hate relationship with. I did with Gellar too. Maybe I just have issues with pretty, petite, snarky blonds? (shrugs). I also realized halfway in that I was watching Veronica Mars for well everyone else and they aren't really in it. This is a problem. And, I'm not crazy about Rob Thomas's writing - kind of figured that out a very long time ago - when I tried other series that he wrote and never lasted more than a handful of episodes. It's a personal thing, I don't expect anyone to agree with me. All of that said - it's kind of amazing that I stuck with Veronica for three years, watched the movie and loved it when it was on - again I think it's because I ignored Veronica and liked everything else? OR I liked Veronica as a high school student, not as an adult.
Anyhow, not having that problem with Nancy Drew in part because they are in their twenties and not in high school to start out with. Also, they've done a good job of setting up the noir atmosphere without falling heavily into cliche - mainly do to the ghost story elements.
The other thing I've binge watched and may or may not go back to - six episodes in at the moment, is Money Heist - this is the thing that all the critics and people love. It's a European Crime drama about a bunch of people who take the Spanish Mint in Madrid hostage. The actors are all European, although it appears to be filmed in English. It's gritty and compelling, even though I wouldn't say the characters are necessarily likable or that attractive. But it is so different from our current situation and so normal - it feels nicely escapist - it's a thriller, and we can escape into it, without worries. But, alas it is also violent, and I don't feel a desperate need to pick it up again.
I may try "Catherine the Great" or "Avatar: The Last Airbender" instead.
New York's email is taking a break for Memorial Day, although the Governor did his live-briefing from Jones Beach. My parents were impressed since he was in Albany yesterday and that's a long ride. I informed them that he has his own private plane - I know because I saw a picture of him and his daughter asleep on it on Facebook.
I kind of envied him - Jones Beach, while windy, would have been nice today.
He didn't really say anything new - except that we need to focus on rebuilding a better world after this is over and concentrate on infrastructure. I don't know - right now, I focusing on one day at a time - I think beyond that, I freak out and want to curl in a ball in the middle of my bed. My mother lives in fear of me calling her in tears and informing her that I have COVID, and there's nothing she can do to help me. While I live in fear that a hurricane will hit them in the middle of this crisis and there's nothing I can do. Life loves to bring new and interesting anxieties our way usually in the form of news reports on television that we could live without.
Oh, in case you missed it... This was the Front Page of the New York Times Today - The New York Times lists on its front page a 1000 names of the dead from around the US, with their obituaries, in memorial for the 100,000 dead (this includes the probable and confirmed deaths due to COVID-19, the COVID MAP OF DOOM only includes the confirmed). We've been averaging about 1000 a day, and expect to be well over 100,000 dead by June 1. 100,000 people that were alive on New Year's Day that are dead a scant five months later - of all ages, creeds, races, etc. The global death count is 344,997 according to the COVID MAP OF DOOM. When people talk about epidemics, pandemics, plagues, or even all those zombie movies - what they don't really talk about is the lives lost.
The Atlantic also releases an article Grappling with a Terrible Milestone: One Hundred Thousand Dead
Honestly? I'm grappling with over Three Hundred Thousand People dead around the world, because I have friends around the world, and this is a pandemic not an epidemic.
And I feel awash in guilt - for thinking a mere three to four months ago that there were too many people in the world. God. I didn't want this. To watch the numbers slowly rise on the internet and television set. To see family members and friends mention having it, struggling with it, or losing people to it. All while I sit alone in the silence of my apartment, with only an air purifier whirring beside me. There's no other sound but the clacking of my computer keys. Every night it enters my dreams. Every time I leave my apartment, I put on the mask and worry that I'm forgetting things. I'm constantly worrying about forgetting things, about not having the right things, about not reaching out to people - or who I should reach out to. I call my mother twice a day to break up the monotony and the silence.
I reach for normalcy. And when I watch taped television for a bit - I push what is happening outside to bay. I had to hunt a Nancy Drew episode on streaming because the one I taped was pre-empted by a news conference on COVID-19 - back then we had a mere 296 cases and the Doofus was setting up a task force to combat it, now with a 100,000, he's abandoned it and is playing golf, and telling churches they can reopen and hold services. It feels odd.
Sitting alone now in the silence. I find myself weary and fatigued. And wondering...what the world will bring upon the morrow, with the sun high in the air and the sky a pristine blue. Today it was cool and overcast. Now it is finally dark, with the nightlights on in various area houses, where people sit much like myself either alone or with their families...wondering much the same thing, when will this be over? And what will our world look like when it is? I wish I was more hopeful, but I've seen too many horror films...the endings aren't always that clear.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-25 03:14 am (UTC)I thought the twist was great, too! I was entertained by Nancy Drew from the start, but as we neared the end of the season, I was genuinely impressed with the writing. I didn't know it was going to be as good as it was. I'm really looking forward to S2!
As far as Veronica Mars is concerned, I loved her character in S1, but had issues with her from S2 onward. I feel like she was most layered in that first season probably because the central mystery involved the death of her best friend so it made it more personal. But after that, the way she was written plus the way KB played her role often made her come across as a caricature of herself. I like snarky one-liners as much as the next guy, but when it got to the point that her quips seemed to comprise her entire personality, there was a problem.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-25 02:03 pm (UTC)Nancy Drew got better as it went, and I found the last handful of episodes impressive. Particularly the reveal or big twist, which I hadn't seen coming and almost missed - due to the pre-emption. I had to hunt that episode down on the CW streaming channel. (It doesn't have episodes available on demand. And since I hadn't been watching it live and my DVR thought it was taping the live episode, the re-airing wasn't recorded since it was considered a repeat. Highly annoying since this was the penultimate episode or big reveal.)
The other interesting thing about the reveal is that of Nancy's friends, only ACE is present during it. And Ace is the only one she can talk to, both George and Ned for different reasons are impossible to talk to about it. And Bess - who had a tendency to blurt out whatever she's thinking isn't much better.
And it sets up what we think is going to be an on-going conflict between Nancy and her new love interest Owen Marven, but doesn't at all - in fact it slides away from that predictable and cliche route entirely. That surprised me. Leaving Nancy without a love interest at the end - and reinforcing that Nancy's central relationship issues remain with her parents. At the beginning of this Season, she was upset with her mother's death and her father's secrets and distance. At the end of this one, that's kind of flipped up in the air -- and she's still upset, for different and far more complicated and difficult to resolve reasons.
Also, the character of Ryan Hudson evolves over the course of the season and provided with the dark layers, that we're lead to believe Carson Drew had - not to mention the relationships....and Nancy's sense of self and identity is undeniably linked with him. I like that -- the actor playing Ryan is more interesting in some respects than Scott Wolf, and his character far more interesting than Carson Drew.
Spoilers
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Nancy goes from having a rather normal and somewhat ordinary family, that she is treating as dysfunctional - when in fact it's anything but, to one that is highly dysfunctional. They managed to flip what we thought was true about the characters internal lives at the start of the series...to something else at the end.
We think ACE has a dysfunctional family life - but his is actually rather normal. Bess thinks her rich family who doesn't know she exists with reject her - they do the exact opposite. Ryan Hudson is set up as the killer, when in reality he's the intended victim and even more so, the victim at the center of the story. His life has been a tragedy. And like Nancy, he's been kept in the dark, powerless at its center.
And Nancy's determination to unravel a mystery - to get at the truth - in reality unravels her own seemingly difficult life, showing what she took for granted. She had a father, who was upstanding, dating a cop, an upstanding mom who died tragically of cancer, and a boyfriend mechanic, who cared for her. Plus she solved an occasional mystery on the side. When Tiffany Hudson gets killed and Lucy Sable begins to haunt her in earnest - she slowly unravels that life. Her real mother committed suicide, her real father is a dysfunctional and ruthless, if at times, inept businessman, who is the product of a narcissistic and overly privileged upbringing. In short her biological parents are guilty of the crimes she believed or was holding the parents who had actually raised her - guilty of. Ironic that. She'd have been better off leaving things alone, as Carson Drew begged her to do.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 02:11 am (UTC)In the long run I think the Nancy and Ace relationship is going to be more important than viewers would expect. I'm not sure whether it'll lead to romance or stay platonic, but there were several pivotal points during the first season that placed Ace in a unique role with her. I think they're laying the groundwork for something.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-25 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 01:16 am (UTC)And Money Heist I plan on going back to soon - it's compelling and has good performances.