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Day 100 ....
One Hundred Days since the world changed completely for me. It's a different date for everyone, I think. And some share mine. Also I suck at counting, so it may be 101, who knows.
I got anxious and depressed today - which with my current hormonal fluctuations resulted in rage. So I took a walk at 4:54 pm. I would have been early, but I got distracted by my super's wife, and wore socks that kept coming off my feet, and sliding into the shoe.
Super's Wife (in a VERY thick polish accent...so thick I had to ask her to slow down because I could not understand what she was saying): You have a package. Three days. You can't leave for three days. Must pick up now!
Me: Eh, I wasn't expecting any packages. I have not ordered anything.
Super's Wife: It says your name and 3M. Must pick up. Or will be stolen. I call you to be nice. Man steal package last week - I tell you.
ME: Okay, I'll get the package today.
It turned out to be the toilet paper that I bought from Amazon in March from some Chinese supplier. It was supposed to come in April. It didn't. So I cancelled it for a refund and bought Quilted Northern instead. So I got the toilet paper and the refund. LOL! And they say the Universe doesn't have a sense of humor.
I now have enough toilet paper to last until 2021. In short, if I have to go under lockdown again, I won't have to worry about running out of toilet paper.
Me:Have a question for you regarding the electrical wiring people - is that all day and will I have access to my kitchen -
Super: All day. No access. They will seal you off into your living room. Bring food you need to eat, and water, etc into living room. No access.
Me: Kind of hard to do since the fridge is in the kitchen.
Super: You can be home or away, your choice.
Me: I'm working remotely from home -
Super: You no access to kitchen, they seal you off, they wear masks.
I got furious. This would not have been a problem if I was still commuting to and from work each day. They could do it when I was away, I wouldn't know about it. Now, not so much. Also, it would have been completed by now - it was going to be done in March.
It's the feeling of having no control over my world that is pissing me off.
People do not wear masks in the complex. There's this old Russian guy, with a braid and torn clothing, who never wears a mask. In fact a lot of the Russians don't wear masks in the building. The young Russian couple doesn't either. It's aggravating. How hard is it to wear a mask? Stubborn people.
Also got furious at my doctor. She did respond to my email last night, with a pat, oh maybe we just need it to adjust, we'll retest in Sept, keep doing what you are doing.
Me: I got furious with my doctor. She told me I had high cholesterol and diabetes.
Mother: I thought your result were better?
Me: From my perspective they are. It went from 6.9 sugar level to 6.4, I see that as a great improvement. And I don't understand the cholesterol (I also struggle with spelling it).
Mother: What did she say?
ME: She told me to go off greasy buttery foods -
Mother: But you never eat any greasy buttery foods -
ME: And fried foods -
Mother: But you don't eat fried foods, you can't
Me: I KNOW! It's so aggravating. She also told me to lay off cheese, and I rarely have any, maybe a sliver or two a week if that -and she told me to exercise thirty minutes cardio a day -
Mother: You're taking 3-5 mile hikes a day
Me: I know! I told the doctor this.
Mother: What did she say?
Me: She said to keep up what I was doing and maybe it just hadn't settled yet or there wasn't enough time between tests? I know the problem - it's MENOPAUSE! But she refuses to acknowledge that yet.
Ugh. People are making me crazy at the moment. Work is too. One of my co-workers have managed to discover new hobbies like gardening and creating a worm farm for composting. I feel like I've failed somehow. Also my socialization is gone, everything is on the internet. (Except for the people I do not want to socialize with - super, super's wife, doctor, and the electrical repair men, also whomever pops up in the laundry room when I'm trying to do laundry. I'm trying not socialize indoors, the Universe is not cooperating with me. )
In other news, the Governors of NY, CT, and NJ, taking a page from the EU, have barred NY, NJ, and CT from South Carolina, Florida, Texas, Arizona, California, Arkansas, Alabama, Washington and North Carolina residents. If they visit the tri-state area, they must quarantine for fourteen days first. Kind of ironic, considering it was the exact opposite two months ago.
BTW - a lot of my family members and friends are in those states. Arizona has a lot of friends (Buffy fanboard ATPOBTVS and college friends), California - family and online friends, Arkansas (church friends), Alabama (online friend), Washington (close family friends), Florida (close family and friends), North Carolina (online friends), and South Carolina (my parents, and various online friends).
Oh well, at least my brother and his family are safe. Small favors.
I feel stuck. Trapped by this stupid thing. I can't do anything really. And I don't see an end in sight. And I'm furious at the people who appear to be able to go about their lives as if it's not a big deal. I feel like these people are gas-lighting me. So, I am absolutely no holds barred furious.
Co-worker asked me today if I was as nervous as she was with everything opening up? Yes. If anything more nervous.
Ex-college roommate posted that she was getting a pedicure. A pedicure? She apparently lives in Massachustus. That's not until Phase 3 or 4 for my area. We've in Phase 2.
And my mother is taking my father to a dental appointment in South Carolina. She assures me that it is safe. I don't know. I worry. But there is nothing I can do. Mother also had her internet, computer, phone, and wifi go out - she can contact people with her cell but that's it. Why? The stupid maintenance people who were digging the drainage around her house to protect her house from a Hurricane, which they promised to do before she moved in and didn't, cut through the cable chord. My mother being my mother, blamed herself for asking them to dig the drainage. Excuse me, no. I was furious with her for being a doormat. She said she wasn't paying them to do it - no, she is paying them. It's part of their fee to live in the community each month. The cable/landline/wifi company can't come until tomorrow morning from 10-12pm. My father's dental appointment which is a long one is from 9:15 to 10:30. My mother told them this, they promised to call her. And I got even more angry - at the stupid repair people, at the maintenance people, and well I'm also worried about them visiting the dentist.
Ugga Bugga.
So I took a two hour walk around Greenwood Cemetery. I walked into an area I never had walked into before - a new lake - Sylvan Lake, which is bigger than Valley lake, and surrounded by mausoleums. You die rich? You may get to be buried in a mausoleum around the lake. (Personally, I don't see the point. You're dead, you're not going to notice. Unless you are a zombie or vampire - and well, being stuck in a windowless mausoleum around a lake doesn't sound all that appealing to me. I think this is more for the people visiting the mausoleums than the dead themselves. People have some weird views on death.)
Ah, they are setting off the industrial scale fireworks again behind me. It's been happening every night between 9:30pm and 10pm, like clockwork. I'm kind of getting used to them. I don't see a point in raging about them - not a thing I can do. One guy requested the kids setting them off in his street stop - since it was 12:30 am, and his kids were trying to sleep. They apologized and did. He must have been very nice. To date, NYC residents have filed over a million 3-1-1 complaints.
If it weren't for my meditative walks around the cemetery, the ability to post these journal posts, and meditation each day - I'd go slowly insane.
I leave you with a clumsy picture of a family of geese eating grass on the side of the lake. Peaceful and undisturbed. Heaven must be coming back as Canadian Geese.
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I'm honestly more concerned about the blood sugar, which is going down now. (I can no longer get access to the things that were making it go up, and I've gone off rice - which turns into sugar in my system and basically causes a whole host of issues)
Anyhow, thank you for the reassurance on the cholesterol. I honestly don't know what to make of it. It's high for some of my family, low for others. And to my knowledge, I don't have any cardio problems.
Good to know you and S are both okay, health wise.
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I think this may be similar. My diet and exercise have changed a great deal since the lockdown/work from home initiative. And since I can do pretty much everything from my laptop...I don't see that changing any time soon. (It's not as easy. If this continues, I may invest in a desktop.)
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I haven't been in NY for decades. I guess I can hold out a little longer. ;o) CBS tonight was reporting that California wasn't on the list of places, they didn't want visitors from without quarantine. That didn't make a lot of sense, and I presume the NY Times is correct.
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They still don't know yet what, if any, effect, all the protests had.
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"Today I announced, along with New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy and Connecticut Governor Ned Lamont, a joint initiative that requires all individuals traveling to NY, NJ or CT from listed states with significant community spread of COVID-19 to quarantine for a 14-day period upon arrival.
This advisory goes into effect tonight at midnight and as of today, it applies to anyone traveling from Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and Washington. (The list of states will be updated online as the data changes).
Throughout this entire pandemic, we've worked closely with our neighbors and will continue to do so because our tri-state region is interconnects, and what happens in New York happens in New Jersey and happens in Connecticut, too. New Yorkers have come together to get the viral transmission rate down and we don't want to see it go up again because people are traveling into the state and bringing the virus with them. We've gone through hell once — we don't want to go through it again. "
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Like Ann mentioned, cholesterol is odd for some. Mine chronically runs on the high side, albeit not dangerously high. My sister is the same, and I believe my parents were likewise. My doctor says that some people just are that way, even if they do the diet thing and whatnot, and it does often run in families, so it's clearly a genetic trait. He tells me not to worry about it unless it would start to rise by a fair amount. In over ten years now, it's been stable, and I eat better than I did then.
Your doctor does sound kind of inattentive. Any of your co-workers have a doctor they're particularly fond of? Maybe give you a recc?
I liked the pic of the goose with the big lake and all around him/her. Also triggered another wacky mind trip for me:
"Herbert! Herbert!! Come in out of the sun! Come back here in the shade with the rest of us!"
"Huh? Why? It feels real nice out here."
"There are dangerous ultraviolet rays that will microwave you! You won't be able to father children!"
"Rays? Microwave? What the-- those are two completely different frequencies, and only short ultraviolet is even mildly dangerous, and our feathers protect us pretty well from that. Is this why you want to fly only at night now? Where are you getting this stuff?"
"It's on the internet! It must be true!"
"Ohhh, jeez...."
;-)
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Your doctor does sound kind of inattentive.
Actually more attentive than any of the others I've had to date. I've gone through a ton of doctors. I'm beginning to think this par for the course in NYC. Overworked doctors doing too much at once. They spend half their time writing things into computers - often the same information over and over.
Any of your co-workers have a doctor they're particularly fond of? Maybe give you a recc?
Not possible for oh so many reasons. Some logistical, in that their doctors and health care professionals live three to four hours away from me. It would be like you recommending your doctor to me. I can't get to any of them without either being able to teleport or driving an hour-two way out of my way.
If that's your A1C that's 6.4, you're doing very well. I just got mine back last week, and was delighted that it was 6.5, as I had expected it to creep up over the winter. Anything below 7.0 for a diabetic is considered well managed.
Thanks. I thought it was fine too.
I think my doctor is concerned because it went from 6.4 to 6.9 over the course of last year. But she should be pleased it's at 6.4 now. The cholestrol thing - I think is concerning them because previous records showed none. (It's the change of life.) I don't know. I've chosen to ignore her and do what I'm doing. I mainly seeing her for the blood pressure issue - which she is monitoring closely. The previous doctors weren't monitoring the blood pressure closely enough.
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