Day #110 - Happy 4th of July for US
Jul. 4th, 2020 09:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatWatching the Macy's Fireworks Spectacular on NBC at the moment. What NYC did was go around during the week and record various fireworks displays. They didn't tell anyone where they were setting them off ahead of time - so no one could "congregate" to watch them. A reporter asked why not just show fireworks from previous years. But they thought it would be a nice surprise.
Meanwhile out my window they are also shooting off fireworks in the streets behind me. I could see them out my living room windows, lots of pretty colors in the sky - and far enough away that it wasn't dangerous to me, just the idiots setting them off illegally. I don't have animals, so no worries there. Very loud right now. It's illegal of course. I don't mind the pretty, but the loud bangs are annoying.
Also, spent the day watching the broadway musical "Hamilton" on Disney Plus, off and on all day, with a break to talk to mother, play on social media, take a walk around Greenwood Cemetery, dinner, and watching fireworks.
I didn't take a long walk around Greenwood Cemetery, too hot, and I was soaking wet when I got home. I took off around 3:45pm and got home around 5:45pm. Bright and sunny.
Hamiliton - is a brilliant and cleverly written satirical indictment of the Founding Fathers, the construction of the US, and what it was build upon. There's so much to unpack. And it moves quickly, with rapid fire lines, and witty repartee. None of the founding fathers, with the possible exception of George Washington come out well, and Jefferson, Madison, Hamilton, and Adams are kind of ripped apart. It really exposes the cracks in the US's foundations, and the white male power structure. By having the roles of the Revolutionary Americans (for the most part) all played by Persons of Color, and the supporting roles of the King, and the cowardly General Lee played by white men, this is further emphasized. At various points the Virginians and Southern States reliance on slave labor and their continuous struggle to ensure that is protected is referenced, but oh so subtly and with biting wit. Jefferson is depicted as dandy, who works not a bit, and is quick with a pen, but also clever and undermining and more than a tad hypocritical. Hamilton, himself, doesn't come off well either - driven and power mad, he races over others, including those who love him, in reckless abandon.
They filmed it in June 2019. Five years ago today. And it foreshadows so much that is happening now - and seems to show how a lot of what happened now was inevitable. I remember my mother telling me, after she'd finished reading the source material (the musical is based on the Biography of Alexander Hamilton written by Ron Chernow, that currently takes up space on my bookshelf - a door stop of a book), that after reading it - she realized that the Civil War was inevitable. The book really shows that there was no way of avoiding it. The fractures were there early on. What the US can't escape, and Europe by association, is what the US colonies were built upon.
Slave labor and the genocide of a native culture. Historians can attempt to justify it all they want, stating - oh well it was acceptable at the time or we can't judge what happened then through the lense of today - but it doesn't change the fact that people abused their power by harming others to get what they wanted. The karmic price for that is dire. And the Universe has a different time line than we do. Hamilton wryly gets it across, in an entertaining manner. Also a lot of very good, catchy toons. I adore Burr's song "The Room Where it Happens". Burr actually has the best songs in the show.
But right now, I find it hard to focus on it. Last night I kept drifting off to sleep. Today, I did as well, or my mind kept drifting. It's not Hamilton's fault - I can't really focus on much of anything at the moment.
Haven't been able to since late February. I've not finished a book since then. Somebody wanted me to read a sociological text on policing and black lives matter - and I thought, I can't get through a romance novel right now.
Not having much more success with movies or television series. The best I can manage is an hour - anything longer than that, my attention starts to drift. I also have issues sticking with things. It is amazing I'm getting any work done. Can barely write creatively.
This blog is one of the few things I'm able to keep up. And it's an odd blog - more interactive correspondence list than blog.
I still feel like I'm being gaslit by a virus. (Or by people who don't think it is a big deal.) But I'm apparently not alone in my desire to wait this out and not take any unnecessary risks just yet. (If you think I'm wimp for waiting this out a bit longer - so be it. Do not care. As I've grown older - I've realized how vital my health is - if it goes south, everything else does. A lot of people don't get this. I found it out the hard way in 2014. It's taken me a long time to get myself healthy, I'm not putting that at risk. I had a painful hacking cough from November through February and couldn't exercise or walk more than ten-fifteen minutes without wheezing , then it went away, finally in March. Also prior to that - debilitating vertigo headaches. And sciatic nerve. I don't take these things lightly. The damn COVID virus could bring all of them back permanently. I know, I have an Aunt who has had it and is still recovering, her recovery is painful and she had to take a month off work, so did my cousin. The people who don't take the virus seriously don't know anyone who has had it or died from it yet - I do. Over 140 people from my organization have died from it to date.)
My family feels the same way. As do most of my social media friends on FB and people at my church. The ATPO BTVS/ATS fanboard (who I've kept in touch with across social media since 2002 in various ways, not everyone but most of them, and we've all kept in touch with different people and were able to bring them on board) has chosen to do a three hour Zoom chat, where people can break off into rooms and jump in and out. I don't know how it will work. Or how long I'll last.
Me: I don't think some will do it. They don't like Zoom.
Nancy K: Zoom video chatting isn't for everyone.
Me: I don't know how long I'm going to last. I can't get myself to do with my church. I don't like it much myself. But there's not a lot of other options at the moment, unfortunately.
No - with a pandemic - this is it.
My brother had people visit him. I got upset.
Mother: No, no, let me explain. I wasn't going to tell you - but I thought I should explain what he's doing. He refurbished his barn into a guest suite. It is divided into a living room, kitchen and bedroom, with its own bathroom and outdoor shower. He left a car for the visitors at the train station. They have their own car while visiting. And they only have access to the facilities in the barn - they can't go in his house. Also they will social distance by staying six feet apart, and wearing masks. They can socialize, but at a distance. After they leave, your brother and his wife will clean the barn, car, and everything in sight.
Me: Wow.
Mother: I told him to reach out to you - maybe later in the year to see if you want to do it. He'd have to pick you up at the train station of course and you'd need a mask, but it would get you out of city.
Me: Did he tell them all this before they came up?
Mother: Yes. He laid it all out. And they complied. Although apparently they are taking big risks that he didn't know about. They've been out and about in the city, not social distancing and not wearing masks. And they invited him to a BBQ 4th of July Party at a friend of theirs.
Me: Is my brother going?
Mother: No. Your brother told them that he didn't know these people and didn't know if it was safe. So no, he would not go. And that they needed to social distance upon returning. They are friends and not judgemental, so it's not a problem. Your brother doesn't care what they do - just that they don't get too close and follow his rules around him.
Me: Wow. I'm glad he's playing it safe.
Mother: He is. His daughter is beginning to accept the fact that she is going to have a year as a loner.
Me: So sad. She was doing so well.
Mother also told me about my cousins - the two that I've met and actually have interacted with when I was much much younger. Also the two that are closest in age to myself and my brother. We haven't seen them though since we were teenagers. My cousins Scean and Andy, they are in their fifties. About five to eight years older than me. Both are extremely bright and unfortunately, mentally ill.
Scean lives in a rundown shack. He can barely afford to eat, since he's spending $900 a month on medication. He's bi-polar. And while very close to his mother - his mother won't let her stay with him and barely tolerates him because she can't stand the fact that he is mentally ill. She wants him to be normal and live a normal life. Scean graduated college and graduate school at the age of 17. He has advanced degrees in math. But he can't stay in any job for long, and has difficulties focusing, often going off his meds just to focus. Also, he may be autistic. Brilliant, kind, and I adored him as a teen. This breaks my heart.
My cousin Andy, had two years in the service, graduated from Berkley with honors in Asian Studies and Computer Science, speaks Japanese and Chinese fluently, and worked for a while in JP Morgan Bank. But he has no job and is being supported by his mother at the moment. According to my Uncle the reason he can't hold a job is he can't get along with people. Andy, the last time I saw him, was six feet tall, blond, blue-eyed, and a hunk. He also was kind. My mother thinks he may also be suffering from mental illness.
Mental illness runs in my family. Pause. It runs in all families, I think.
I think our society is mentally ill. We don't know how to handle mental illness in this country or how to truly care for one another. Yet, I have hope - my community or neighborhood has set up a community care group in response to COVID-19, but they've chosen to continue even if this crisis ends. That we need a group that supports and cares for one another, that reaches out to those in need in the neighborhood, that fights for people's rights, and against racism and hate. This gives me hope. My neighborhood is among the most diverse in NYC. I agree with others who have said it - the only way through is together.
Anyhow. I'm hanging in there. Meditation helps. As does writing. Talking to folks on the phone and online, and walking around a cemetery. (I'm a bit of a loner anyhow, so it's not that big a deal for me.) Using this time isolated in my space to draw strength and knowledge, and not let the busy busy world outside push me out of it until I'm ready. That said, I do walk around the neighborhood, say hello to folks, and today I got groceries again from Carnival's fruit and vegetable stand - which is actually easier to shop in than the other grocery stores in the area - less people and more social distancing. More and more of my neighbors are social distancing and wearing masks.
I leave you with...
Meanwhile out my window they are also shooting off fireworks in the streets behind me. I could see them out my living room windows, lots of pretty colors in the sky - and far enough away that it wasn't dangerous to me, just the idiots setting them off illegally. I don't have animals, so no worries there. Very loud right now. It's illegal of course. I don't mind the pretty, but the loud bangs are annoying.
Also, spent the day watching the broadway musical "Hamilton" on Disney Plus, off and on all day, with a break to talk to mother, play on social media, take a walk around Greenwood Cemetery, dinner, and watching fireworks.
I didn't take a long walk around Greenwood Cemetery, too hot, and I was soaking wet when I got home. I took off around 3:45pm and got home around 5:45pm. Bright and sunny.
Hamiliton - is a brilliant and cleverly written satirical indictment of the Founding Fathers, the construction of the US, and what it was build upon. There's so much to unpack. And it moves quickly, with rapid fire lines, and witty repartee. None of the founding fathers, with the possible exception of George Washington come out well, and Jefferson, Madison, Hamilton, and Adams are kind of ripped apart. It really exposes the cracks in the US's foundations, and the white male power structure. By having the roles of the Revolutionary Americans (for the most part) all played by Persons of Color, and the supporting roles of the King, and the cowardly General Lee played by white men, this is further emphasized. At various points the Virginians and Southern States reliance on slave labor and their continuous struggle to ensure that is protected is referenced, but oh so subtly and with biting wit. Jefferson is depicted as dandy, who works not a bit, and is quick with a pen, but also clever and undermining and more than a tad hypocritical. Hamilton, himself, doesn't come off well either - driven and power mad, he races over others, including those who love him, in reckless abandon.
They filmed it in June 2019. Five years ago today. And it foreshadows so much that is happening now - and seems to show how a lot of what happened now was inevitable. I remember my mother telling me, after she'd finished reading the source material (the musical is based on the Biography of Alexander Hamilton written by Ron Chernow, that currently takes up space on my bookshelf - a door stop of a book), that after reading it - she realized that the Civil War was inevitable. The book really shows that there was no way of avoiding it. The fractures were there early on. What the US can't escape, and Europe by association, is what the US colonies were built upon.
Slave labor and the genocide of a native culture. Historians can attempt to justify it all they want, stating - oh well it was acceptable at the time or we can't judge what happened then through the lense of today - but it doesn't change the fact that people abused their power by harming others to get what they wanted. The karmic price for that is dire. And the Universe has a different time line than we do. Hamilton wryly gets it across, in an entertaining manner. Also a lot of very good, catchy toons. I adore Burr's song "The Room Where it Happens". Burr actually has the best songs in the show.
But right now, I find it hard to focus on it. Last night I kept drifting off to sleep. Today, I did as well, or my mind kept drifting. It's not Hamilton's fault - I can't really focus on much of anything at the moment.
Haven't been able to since late February. I've not finished a book since then. Somebody wanted me to read a sociological text on policing and black lives matter - and I thought, I can't get through a romance novel right now.
Not having much more success with movies or television series. The best I can manage is an hour - anything longer than that, my attention starts to drift. I also have issues sticking with things. It is amazing I'm getting any work done. Can barely write creatively.
This blog is one of the few things I'm able to keep up. And it's an odd blog - more interactive correspondence list than blog.
I still feel like I'm being gaslit by a virus. (Or by people who don't think it is a big deal.) But I'm apparently not alone in my desire to wait this out and not take any unnecessary risks just yet. (If you think I'm wimp for waiting this out a bit longer - so be it. Do not care. As I've grown older - I've realized how vital my health is - if it goes south, everything else does. A lot of people don't get this. I found it out the hard way in 2014. It's taken me a long time to get myself healthy, I'm not putting that at risk. I had a painful hacking cough from November through February and couldn't exercise or walk more than ten-fifteen minutes without wheezing , then it went away, finally in March. Also prior to that - debilitating vertigo headaches. And sciatic nerve. I don't take these things lightly. The damn COVID virus could bring all of them back permanently. I know, I have an Aunt who has had it and is still recovering, her recovery is painful and she had to take a month off work, so did my cousin. The people who don't take the virus seriously don't know anyone who has had it or died from it yet - I do. Over 140 people from my organization have died from it to date.)
My family feels the same way. As do most of my social media friends on FB and people at my church. The ATPO BTVS/ATS fanboard (who I've kept in touch with across social media since 2002 in various ways, not everyone but most of them, and we've all kept in touch with different people and were able to bring them on board) has chosen to do a three hour Zoom chat, where people can break off into rooms and jump in and out. I don't know how it will work. Or how long I'll last.
Me: I don't think some will do it. They don't like Zoom.
Nancy K: Zoom video chatting isn't for everyone.
Me: I don't know how long I'm going to last. I can't get myself to do with my church. I don't like it much myself. But there's not a lot of other options at the moment, unfortunately.
No - with a pandemic - this is it.
My brother had people visit him. I got upset.
Mother: No, no, let me explain. I wasn't going to tell you - but I thought I should explain what he's doing. He refurbished his barn into a guest suite. It is divided into a living room, kitchen and bedroom, with its own bathroom and outdoor shower. He left a car for the visitors at the train station. They have their own car while visiting. And they only have access to the facilities in the barn - they can't go in his house. Also they will social distance by staying six feet apart, and wearing masks. They can socialize, but at a distance. After they leave, your brother and his wife will clean the barn, car, and everything in sight.
Me: Wow.
Mother: I told him to reach out to you - maybe later in the year to see if you want to do it. He'd have to pick you up at the train station of course and you'd need a mask, but it would get you out of city.
Me: Did he tell them all this before they came up?
Mother: Yes. He laid it all out. And they complied. Although apparently they are taking big risks that he didn't know about. They've been out and about in the city, not social distancing and not wearing masks. And they invited him to a BBQ 4th of July Party at a friend of theirs.
Me: Is my brother going?
Mother: No. Your brother told them that he didn't know these people and didn't know if it was safe. So no, he would not go. And that they needed to social distance upon returning. They are friends and not judgemental, so it's not a problem. Your brother doesn't care what they do - just that they don't get too close and follow his rules around him.
Me: Wow. I'm glad he's playing it safe.
Mother: He is. His daughter is beginning to accept the fact that she is going to have a year as a loner.
Me: So sad. She was doing so well.
Mother also told me about my cousins - the two that I've met and actually have interacted with when I was much much younger. Also the two that are closest in age to myself and my brother. We haven't seen them though since we were teenagers. My cousins Scean and Andy, they are in their fifties. About five to eight years older than me. Both are extremely bright and unfortunately, mentally ill.
Scean lives in a rundown shack. He can barely afford to eat, since he's spending $900 a month on medication. He's bi-polar. And while very close to his mother - his mother won't let her stay with him and barely tolerates him because she can't stand the fact that he is mentally ill. She wants him to be normal and live a normal life. Scean graduated college and graduate school at the age of 17. He has advanced degrees in math. But he can't stay in any job for long, and has difficulties focusing, often going off his meds just to focus. Also, he may be autistic. Brilliant, kind, and I adored him as a teen. This breaks my heart.
My cousin Andy, had two years in the service, graduated from Berkley with honors in Asian Studies and Computer Science, speaks Japanese and Chinese fluently, and worked for a while in JP Morgan Bank. But he has no job and is being supported by his mother at the moment. According to my Uncle the reason he can't hold a job is he can't get along with people. Andy, the last time I saw him, was six feet tall, blond, blue-eyed, and a hunk. He also was kind. My mother thinks he may also be suffering from mental illness.
Mental illness runs in my family. Pause. It runs in all families, I think.
I think our society is mentally ill. We don't know how to handle mental illness in this country or how to truly care for one another. Yet, I have hope - my community or neighborhood has set up a community care group in response to COVID-19, but they've chosen to continue even if this crisis ends. That we need a group that supports and cares for one another, that reaches out to those in need in the neighborhood, that fights for people's rights, and against racism and hate. This gives me hope. My neighborhood is among the most diverse in NYC. I agree with others who have said it - the only way through is together.
Anyhow. I'm hanging in there. Meditation helps. As does writing. Talking to folks on the phone and online, and walking around a cemetery. (I'm a bit of a loner anyhow, so it's not that big a deal for me.) Using this time isolated in my space to draw strength and knowledge, and not let the busy busy world outside push me out of it until I'm ready. That said, I do walk around the neighborhood, say hello to folks, and today I got groceries again from Carnival's fruit and vegetable stand - which is actually easier to shop in than the other grocery stores in the area - less people and more social distancing. More and more of my neighbors are social distancing and wearing masks.
I leave you with...
no subject
Date: 2020-07-05 01:27 pm (UTC)I'm kind of splitting Hamilton over a night and two days, with a lot of rewinding. It's long and busy is right.
I told my mother yesterday that I no longer regretted taking my parents to American in Paris for their anniversary over Hamilton. They'd have never made it through Hamilton. Both read the biography upon which it is based (I haven't), so it's not the material. It's sitting in a theater four three and a half hours, and trying to hear rapid fire dialogue set to music - with lots of dancing. It would have done them in. I think it may have done me in - NY theaters are tight and cramped places. Also watching it on the tv? Broadway may not open until we get a cure. Those actors spit when they sing and talk and the saliva goes a long way.
I think it's my brain trying to tell me, "I have quite enough to deal with already, thank you."
Same. We were discussing reading and watching dystopian sci-fi, none of us can any longer. It's as if we're at the stage of "Tree pretty, Fire Bad - more Tree Pretty".