Day #256 of the Corona Virus Diaries..
Dec. 2nd, 2020 08:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatDay 277 or thereabouts according to our Governor, who kindly holds his press briefings during my lunch break. So I can watch him.
I'm watching the Rockerfeller Christmas Tree Lightening in the background, which for the most part was apparently taped elsewhere or in separate venues around Rockerfeller Center - so you can't tell it's a pandemic. Except for one act, where they guy sang with a bunch of folks in masks around him. Oh, and the Radio City Rocketts are performing with glittery masks. They are also doing a Christmas Spectacular Starring The Rockettes - of a previously recorded performance - because they can't have them perform at Radio City this year. (When I was about 10 or 11, and my brother 7 or 8, we saw the Radio City Rockettes in NYC with my Girl Scout Troop - my mother arranged it, since she co-lead the troop, and we went by bus. Saw Pete's Dragon, and the Rockettes perform, and Helen Reddy in person, who was my favorite singer at the time. This was in the 1970s.)
Normally the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting starts at six or seven and is over before 8 or 8:30pm. Rather short with a bunch of songs. Tonight it started at 8 and won't be over until 10. With the lighting last. Because, it's all virtual and no one is in attendance.
Now that I'm attempting to go off sweets and chocolate, I crave it. Mentally speaking. Somehow I managed to re-gain the ten pounds I lost. And I'm dreading the gynecological appointment on Friday. I've not had the best of luck with gynecologists. One misdiagnosed me with HPV, which I did not have. Another freaked out and put me on the wrong birth control, which fouled up my hormones resulting in a physical depression, then took off on me, another gave me too much estrogen, resulting in anxiety attacks and a physical depression, then disappeared. So, needless to say? I gave up. This is the latest - we'll see if she's any good. I've gone with my primary care doctor's recommendation. At this point, birth control or period regulation is no longer an issue - I'm in menopause. Hence the gynecologist.
I'm finding it difficult to focus again. Also, kind of...I wouldn't call it depressed, so much as just apathetic. I'm tired and I want to curl up in bed and just sleep. I'm resisting it. I feel like a marathon runner who has been running for seemingly forever...and is just tired. Fatigue is setting in.
Mother: Your father slipped again today mentally...
ME: How so?
Mother: He couldn't figure out what to do in the bathroom, where the toilet was or what it was for. And at one point he had a conversation with your brother..
Me: On the phone?
Mother: No he believes he had it in person, here. He also keeps thinking you are here.
Me: I'm worried I probably won't see him again -
Mother: Oh, I wouldn't count on that. Today he wanted to call his brother. I asked which one. He said his brother, Pat. He wanted to discuss his brother's funeral. (Pause) He was talking about himself. I asked him if he was planning to attend his own funeral.
I burst out laughing. And thanked my mother for making me laugh. Here, I thought my sense of humor came from my father - eh, no, it comes from my mother as well. We both laughed.
Normally, I visit them at Christmas. There's only been one that I haven't been able to spend with them - it was in 2004 and due to plane flight cancellations. Although that year I'd seen my mother at least twice.
This year is the first one in which I've not visited my parents or anyone really at all. I'm not complaining. It is what it is. I'd rather have everyone be alive and well, to be honest.
Crazy Workplace
Boss: So other than work, how are you doing personally?
Me: I'm fine. Same as always. Hanging out here in Brooklyn by myself ...as I've done for the last eight or nine months, not really sure how many to be honest - they kind of blur together to be honest.
Boss: Your parents still in South Carolina?
Me: Yep, they are isolated in a retirement community that's locked down - I couldn't get in even if I could fly down there, and my brother is self-isolating with his family up in Up State NY. I did do a Zoom meeting with extended family over the holiday, my immediate family does not do Zoom. But hey, it is what it is...
Boss: Well, the year is almost over. We'll all have a celebratory drink when it is over.
Me: Hopefully 2021 will be better...
Boss: Kind of has to be.
This was at our Weekly Microsoft Teams Staff Meeting From Doom. I'm not sure why he feels the need to have these weekly teams meetings with us. You'd think he'd be too busy. I think he likes us.
Every time we have it, I worry about my job. Although he did try to reassure us - letting us know that the agency had been told back in 2019 that for the transformation to work - they had to get rid of at least 2700 positions, and by October 2020, by attrition, retirement, and COVID - they'd gotten rid of 3100 in our department. This means we're unlike to cut more jobs. Also, the agency was most likely going to move slowly with the transformation, and take baby steps moving forward. Anything that cost a lot of money - they weren't going to do.
Don't get me wrong - I like my job. My organization drives me crazy, but that would be true anywhere. And this organization as crazy as it is, is actually kinder than some others. At Bible Study tonight - one of the members shared that she had requested medical leave from her workplace. (She had contracted Lyme Disease and one of her closest friends committed suicide over Thanksgiving.) Apparently it's an involved process, and she'd only make $170 a week - which you can't live on in NYC. At least my agency grants paid Family Medical Leave, and Sick Time. I'm also union represented, which has its issues, but also its protections.
Unitarian Bible Study or Bible Study with Humanists, disaffected Christians, Jews and disaffected Catholics
Held on Zoom. My mother asked if I had issues with the extended family chat on Zoom. I said no, I'm used to it. I'm doing Zoom with Unitarian Universalist Society of Brooklyn (aka church for people who were raised Judaic/Christian but don't really agree with any of the dogma) weekly. Also Teams with work. I've been doing Teams and Zoom since March on a weekly basis.
It's amazing what you can get used to. I put on masks now without thinking, and have nightmares about forgetting them - like one might forget wearing shoes or pants.
We discussed the book Zealot by Reza Aslan
Which I've mixed feelings about. They liked it better than I did. And of course, many of them hadn't finished reading it, or they read it a long time ago, or hadn't really read it at all. Considering I listened to it as an audio book, and finished it over a month ago - I was struck by the fact that I remembered it better than they did. Also, the Rev, who was facilitating, didn't remember it that well - and hadn't planned what to discuss, so left it open to us. In short, it wasn't well facilitated. I hope next week's is better. I don't think the Rev's heart was in it. Also she wants to talk about feelings, I don't want to talk about my feelings. Unitarians can be annoyingly touchy feely.
I was a little frustrated by it - though, because they demonized Christianity and romanticized Judaism, generalizing about both. But I kept my mouth shut. Also they seemed to miss the fact that the writer wasn't Jewish or Muslim, but a converted Christian, who had been raised in a Muslim/Jewish household - but not with the religion. He revisited the religions, and rediscovered Christianity through his studies. One woman really annoyed me - she said "oh so many Jewish people died and were killed" and I thought, "really? They gave as good as they got in this book. Or did you just skip over the bit when the Jews slaughtered entire races of people either in retaliation or as part of a zealous crusade? Not to mention the number of times they enslaved people who weren't Jewish?" I tried to get them to address that - but they refused. The Minister hand-waved it to one side.
I gave up. Instead we rambled on about Humanism, and how horrible Christianity was. One woman in the group declared that she felt "the Christians stole Jesus from the Jews", and I burst out laughing. Christianity is a religion that sprang from Judaism, it was a Zealous Jewish Cult, that evolved and catered to the Romans in power, and the writers catered to them via mythologizing it and speaking in metaphors. She dismissed me out of hand, stating that she didn't think it was about metaphors at all.
At that point, I decided to stop talking. Which is easy on Zoom. You just push mute. The next time I spoke it was to inform them that I needed to take off.
Plus side of Zoom is if someone annoys you, you can just mute yourself, turn off the video and go to the bathroom. Particularly if there are 10 or more people on it.
New York vs. the Corona Virus
Well, we're supposed to get 170,000 doses of the vaccine sometime next week.
From the Governor's email and live briefing:
The federal government has informed us that New York will be getting its first 170,000 doses of the COVID-19 vaccine in the coming weeks. If all safety and efficacy approvals are granted, we expect to receive these vaccines doses—from the New York pharmaceutical company Pfizer—on December 15. The State expects additional doses of both the Pfizer-developed vaccine and the Moderna-developed vaccine this month.
Following FDA approval, the NY COVID-19 Clinical Advisory Task Force will look at the data and provide an additional level of review to the vaccine. This review will not delay distribution of the vaccine and will simply be another safety measure that ensures we can all trust in the vaccine. The COVID-19 Clinical Advisory Task Force is made up of health experts and medical professionals and is co-chaired by Dr. Charles Rice, the winner of the 2020 Nobel Prize in Medicine.
Healthcare workers and nursing home residents will be the first groups of people to receive the vaccine. For most New Yorkers, though, the vaccine is still months away—and we are faced with a set of challenges to overcome before we get it. Hospitalizations are climbing across the state, and holiday social activity is certain to worsen this trend. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but in the winter we must fight harder than ever to slow the spread and save lives.
The rest from the Governor's email:
1. The statewide positivity rate dropped slightly to 4.63 percent yesterday. There were 8,973 positive cases from 193,551 tests reported yesterday. The positivity rate in the micro-cluster focus areas was 5.88 percent. Excluding these areas, it was 4.21 percent. [We're still lower than the rest of the country except for four states that are located above us...and no, that's not necessarily good news. It just means that the US is in trouble.]
2. Total hospitalizations rose to 3,924. There were 742 patients in ICU yesterday, up 24 from the previous day. Of them, 373 are intubated. Sadly, we lost 69 New Yorkers to the virus. [He's focusing on hospitalizations now, since that was the problem - if the hospitals get overrun, people die, regardless of whether or not its from COVID. He's also resigned to the fact that we are about to climb another mountain...with the rest of the US, but is reassuring folks it won't be that bad - since we have controls in place that we didn't have in the spring.]
3. Starting next week, I will resume holding scheduled COVID briefings. Instead of daily briefings, this time the briefings will be held on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Briefings are always streamed online at ny.gov, and are additionally broadcast on Twitter and Facebook Live. [ They shouldn't have given him the Emmy. Although I'm glad he's resuming them, they keep me grounded. I find him weirdly reassuring in regards to the pandemic. Of course I don't have any relatives in NY nursing homes.]
4. We are seeing an alarming rise in COVID cases that trace back to "living room spread." New York's latest contact tracing data shows that 70 percent of new COVID-19 cases originate from households and small gatherings. Today, the State released a new PSA highlighting the dangers of COVID spread in these smaller, indoor settings. Watch the PSA here. [Yep, social distancing is really hard for people.]
5. We've seen a 262 percent increase in hospitalizations in Western NY over the past three weeks. Even though the region continues to have the highest positivity rate in the state, hospitalizations are increasing across all of New York's significantly. I implore all New Yorkers to please follow health guidelines—wear a mask, socially distance, get tested, wash your hands and stop the spread.
It's interesting how NY is handling holidays - they just televise everything virtually. But the commercials are kind of weird - it's as if they are in an Alternate Universe. In a way, the televising is advertising NY and demonstrating that we're doing fine. And to come back when everything calms down. The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular and Rockerfeller Christmas Tree Lighting are to get people to consider coming to NYC next year for Christmas.
I took a walk after work - brief, down the block and back. And on FB had a brief discussion with someone who'd gotten COVID twice, once in the spring (mild case) and was nearly killed by it in October. She said it was very weird, and nothing at all like anything she'd had before. (It was on the COVID science group that I'm on - which shares factual articles about COVID only.) Got a Fresh Direct Food Delivery, mostly alcohol and prepared salads, and fruit. Delivered right to my apartment door. Yippee. He called. I ran to the door. Opened it. There it was. No contact delivery. And actually accomplished stuff at work.
All in all not a bad day.
I've decided I'm writing this for myself more than anything else at this point. If anyone reads it ...or gets something from it, bonus. I like writing letters and sending thoughts across the airwaves - to see if they connect with anyone. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Lately, I've not been feeling as if I am connecting with folks. But like all things, it's most likely temporary.
As we enter the dark days of winter...with the days getting shorter and shorter, and blustry storms and cloudy skies...I'm working on keeping a stiff upper lip as it were. (I'm watching dancing Santas at the moment.)
I've known for a while that this is going to be the hard part of the marathon we're all running together - the last legs of it - while be through a very dark cold tunnel.
Oh well, at least I have heat, lights, entertainment, and a laptop/phone connecting me to the world at large. Plus, I live in a city. I'm thankful.
I'm watching the Rockerfeller Christmas Tree Lightening in the background, which for the most part was apparently taped elsewhere or in separate venues around Rockerfeller Center - so you can't tell it's a pandemic. Except for one act, where they guy sang with a bunch of folks in masks around him. Oh, and the Radio City Rocketts are performing with glittery masks. They are also doing a Christmas Spectacular Starring The Rockettes - of a previously recorded performance - because they can't have them perform at Radio City this year. (When I was about 10 or 11, and my brother 7 or 8, we saw the Radio City Rockettes in NYC with my Girl Scout Troop - my mother arranged it, since she co-lead the troop, and we went by bus. Saw Pete's Dragon, and the Rockettes perform, and Helen Reddy in person, who was my favorite singer at the time. This was in the 1970s.)
Normally the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting starts at six or seven and is over before 8 or 8:30pm. Rather short with a bunch of songs. Tonight it started at 8 and won't be over until 10. With the lighting last. Because, it's all virtual and no one is in attendance.
Now that I'm attempting to go off sweets and chocolate, I crave it. Mentally speaking. Somehow I managed to re-gain the ten pounds I lost. And I'm dreading the gynecological appointment on Friday. I've not had the best of luck with gynecologists. One misdiagnosed me with HPV, which I did not have. Another freaked out and put me on the wrong birth control, which fouled up my hormones resulting in a physical depression, then took off on me, another gave me too much estrogen, resulting in anxiety attacks and a physical depression, then disappeared. So, needless to say? I gave up. This is the latest - we'll see if she's any good. I've gone with my primary care doctor's recommendation. At this point, birth control or period regulation is no longer an issue - I'm in menopause. Hence the gynecologist.
I'm finding it difficult to focus again. Also, kind of...I wouldn't call it depressed, so much as just apathetic. I'm tired and I want to curl up in bed and just sleep. I'm resisting it. I feel like a marathon runner who has been running for seemingly forever...and is just tired. Fatigue is setting in.
Mother: Your father slipped again today mentally...
ME: How so?
Mother: He couldn't figure out what to do in the bathroom, where the toilet was or what it was for. And at one point he had a conversation with your brother..
Me: On the phone?
Mother: No he believes he had it in person, here. He also keeps thinking you are here.
Me: I'm worried I probably won't see him again -
Mother: Oh, I wouldn't count on that. Today he wanted to call his brother. I asked which one. He said his brother, Pat. He wanted to discuss his brother's funeral. (Pause) He was talking about himself. I asked him if he was planning to attend his own funeral.
I burst out laughing. And thanked my mother for making me laugh. Here, I thought my sense of humor came from my father - eh, no, it comes from my mother as well. We both laughed.
Normally, I visit them at Christmas. There's only been one that I haven't been able to spend with them - it was in 2004 and due to plane flight cancellations. Although that year I'd seen my mother at least twice.
This year is the first one in which I've not visited my parents or anyone really at all. I'm not complaining. It is what it is. I'd rather have everyone be alive and well, to be honest.
Crazy Workplace
Boss: So other than work, how are you doing personally?
Me: I'm fine. Same as always. Hanging out here in Brooklyn by myself ...as I've done for the last eight or nine months, not really sure how many to be honest - they kind of blur together to be honest.
Boss: Your parents still in South Carolina?
Me: Yep, they are isolated in a retirement community that's locked down - I couldn't get in even if I could fly down there, and my brother is self-isolating with his family up in Up State NY. I did do a Zoom meeting with extended family over the holiday, my immediate family does not do Zoom. But hey, it is what it is...
Boss: Well, the year is almost over. We'll all have a celebratory drink when it is over.
Me: Hopefully 2021 will be better...
Boss: Kind of has to be.
This was at our Weekly Microsoft Teams Staff Meeting From Doom. I'm not sure why he feels the need to have these weekly teams meetings with us. You'd think he'd be too busy. I think he likes us.
Every time we have it, I worry about my job. Although he did try to reassure us - letting us know that the agency had been told back in 2019 that for the transformation to work - they had to get rid of at least 2700 positions, and by October 2020, by attrition, retirement, and COVID - they'd gotten rid of 3100 in our department. This means we're unlike to cut more jobs. Also, the agency was most likely going to move slowly with the transformation, and take baby steps moving forward. Anything that cost a lot of money - they weren't going to do.
Don't get me wrong - I like my job. My organization drives me crazy, but that would be true anywhere. And this organization as crazy as it is, is actually kinder than some others. At Bible Study tonight - one of the members shared that she had requested medical leave from her workplace. (She had contracted Lyme Disease and one of her closest friends committed suicide over Thanksgiving.) Apparently it's an involved process, and she'd only make $170 a week - which you can't live on in NYC. At least my agency grants paid Family Medical Leave, and Sick Time. I'm also union represented, which has its issues, but also its protections.
Unitarian Bible Study or Bible Study with Humanists, disaffected Christians, Jews and disaffected Catholics
Held on Zoom. My mother asked if I had issues with the extended family chat on Zoom. I said no, I'm used to it. I'm doing Zoom with Unitarian Universalist Society of Brooklyn (aka church for people who were raised Judaic/Christian but don't really agree with any of the dogma) weekly. Also Teams with work. I've been doing Teams and Zoom since March on a weekly basis.
It's amazing what you can get used to. I put on masks now without thinking, and have nightmares about forgetting them - like one might forget wearing shoes or pants.
We discussed the book Zealot by Reza Aslan
Which I've mixed feelings about. They liked it better than I did. And of course, many of them hadn't finished reading it, or they read it a long time ago, or hadn't really read it at all. Considering I listened to it as an audio book, and finished it over a month ago - I was struck by the fact that I remembered it better than they did. Also, the Rev, who was facilitating, didn't remember it that well - and hadn't planned what to discuss, so left it open to us. In short, it wasn't well facilitated. I hope next week's is better. I don't think the Rev's heart was in it. Also she wants to talk about feelings, I don't want to talk about my feelings. Unitarians can be annoyingly touchy feely.
I was a little frustrated by it - though, because they demonized Christianity and romanticized Judaism, generalizing about both. But I kept my mouth shut. Also they seemed to miss the fact that the writer wasn't Jewish or Muslim, but a converted Christian, who had been raised in a Muslim/Jewish household - but not with the religion. He revisited the religions, and rediscovered Christianity through his studies. One woman really annoyed me - she said "oh so many Jewish people died and were killed" and I thought, "really? They gave as good as they got in this book. Or did you just skip over the bit when the Jews slaughtered entire races of people either in retaliation or as part of a zealous crusade? Not to mention the number of times they enslaved people who weren't Jewish?" I tried to get them to address that - but they refused. The Minister hand-waved it to one side.
I gave up. Instead we rambled on about Humanism, and how horrible Christianity was. One woman in the group declared that she felt "the Christians stole Jesus from the Jews", and I burst out laughing. Christianity is a religion that sprang from Judaism, it was a Zealous Jewish Cult, that evolved and catered to the Romans in power, and the writers catered to them via mythologizing it and speaking in metaphors. She dismissed me out of hand, stating that she didn't think it was about metaphors at all.
At that point, I decided to stop talking. Which is easy on Zoom. You just push mute. The next time I spoke it was to inform them that I needed to take off.
Plus side of Zoom is if someone annoys you, you can just mute yourself, turn off the video and go to the bathroom. Particularly if there are 10 or more people on it.
New York vs. the Corona Virus
Well, we're supposed to get 170,000 doses of the vaccine sometime next week.
From the Governor's email and live briefing:
The federal government has informed us that New York will be getting its first 170,000 doses of the COVID-19 vaccine in the coming weeks. If all safety and efficacy approvals are granted, we expect to receive these vaccines doses—from the New York pharmaceutical company Pfizer—on December 15. The State expects additional doses of both the Pfizer-developed vaccine and the Moderna-developed vaccine this month.
Following FDA approval, the NY COVID-19 Clinical Advisory Task Force will look at the data and provide an additional level of review to the vaccine. This review will not delay distribution of the vaccine and will simply be another safety measure that ensures we can all trust in the vaccine. The COVID-19 Clinical Advisory Task Force is made up of health experts and medical professionals and is co-chaired by Dr. Charles Rice, the winner of the 2020 Nobel Prize in Medicine.
Healthcare workers and nursing home residents will be the first groups of people to receive the vaccine. For most New Yorkers, though, the vaccine is still months away—and we are faced with a set of challenges to overcome before we get it. Hospitalizations are climbing across the state, and holiday social activity is certain to worsen this trend. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but in the winter we must fight harder than ever to slow the spread and save lives.
The rest from the Governor's email:
1. The statewide positivity rate dropped slightly to 4.63 percent yesterday. There were 8,973 positive cases from 193,551 tests reported yesterday. The positivity rate in the micro-cluster focus areas was 5.88 percent. Excluding these areas, it was 4.21 percent. [We're still lower than the rest of the country except for four states that are located above us...and no, that's not necessarily good news. It just means that the US is in trouble.]
2. Total hospitalizations rose to 3,924. There were 742 patients in ICU yesterday, up 24 from the previous day. Of them, 373 are intubated. Sadly, we lost 69 New Yorkers to the virus. [He's focusing on hospitalizations now, since that was the problem - if the hospitals get overrun, people die, regardless of whether or not its from COVID. He's also resigned to the fact that we are about to climb another mountain...with the rest of the US, but is reassuring folks it won't be that bad - since we have controls in place that we didn't have in the spring.]
3. Starting next week, I will resume holding scheduled COVID briefings. Instead of daily briefings, this time the briefings will be held on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Briefings are always streamed online at ny.gov, and are additionally broadcast on Twitter and Facebook Live. [ They shouldn't have given him the Emmy. Although I'm glad he's resuming them, they keep me grounded. I find him weirdly reassuring in regards to the pandemic. Of course I don't have any relatives in NY nursing homes.]
4. We are seeing an alarming rise in COVID cases that trace back to "living room spread." New York's latest contact tracing data shows that 70 percent of new COVID-19 cases originate from households and small gatherings. Today, the State released a new PSA highlighting the dangers of COVID spread in these smaller, indoor settings. Watch the PSA here. [Yep, social distancing is really hard for people.]
5. We've seen a 262 percent increase in hospitalizations in Western NY over the past three weeks. Even though the region continues to have the highest positivity rate in the state, hospitalizations are increasing across all of New York's significantly. I implore all New Yorkers to please follow health guidelines—wear a mask, socially distance, get tested, wash your hands and stop the spread.
It's interesting how NY is handling holidays - they just televise everything virtually. But the commercials are kind of weird - it's as if they are in an Alternate Universe. In a way, the televising is advertising NY and demonstrating that we're doing fine. And to come back when everything calms down. The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular and Rockerfeller Christmas Tree Lighting are to get people to consider coming to NYC next year for Christmas.
I took a walk after work - brief, down the block and back. And on FB had a brief discussion with someone who'd gotten COVID twice, once in the spring (mild case) and was nearly killed by it in October. She said it was very weird, and nothing at all like anything she'd had before. (It was on the COVID science group that I'm on - which shares factual articles about COVID only.) Got a Fresh Direct Food Delivery, mostly alcohol and prepared salads, and fruit. Delivered right to my apartment door. Yippee. He called. I ran to the door. Opened it. There it was. No contact delivery. And actually accomplished stuff at work.
All in all not a bad day.
I've decided I'm writing this for myself more than anything else at this point. If anyone reads it ...or gets something from it, bonus. I like writing letters and sending thoughts across the airwaves - to see if they connect with anyone. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Lately, I've not been feeling as if I am connecting with folks. But like all things, it's most likely temporary.
As we enter the dark days of winter...with the days getting shorter and shorter, and blustry storms and cloudy skies...I'm working on keeping a stiff upper lip as it were. (I'm watching dancing Santas at the moment.)
I've known for a while that this is going to be the hard part of the marathon we're all running together - the last legs of it - while be through a very dark cold tunnel.
Oh well, at least I have heat, lights, entertainment, and a laptop/phone connecting me to the world at large. Plus, I live in a city. I'm thankful.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-03 03:22 pm (UTC)