Day # 293 - When the Going Gets Tough..
Jan. 6th, 2021 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat..the tough go on a total news blackout, walk around Greenwood Cemetery, and watch Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist. I just can't handle the Big Mutant Zombie Apocalypse That Wasn't right now.
[Thank you for all the kind and warm regards to my last post. Really appreciate it. Sorry wasn't able to respond to most if not all of them. Been insanely busy and unable to focus.]
Family
So, my mother went into the ER last night for a broken bone in her hip. She doesn't know which one. My mother has a high tolerance for pain - she was walking on that hip and doing stuff for two weeks, not knowing it was broken. [It runs in our family - it's most likely a genetic quirk. My Grandmother drove herself to the hospital with a broken arm. I walked back to the office and to the train station, up and down steps, to the curb to hail a cab, and up three flights of steps with a broken foot.] She managed to get two close friends to stay the night with my Dad - they followed the ambulance through the gate, and sweet talked their way into the house, because the entire place goes on automatic lock down the moment 9-1-1 is dialed. Home health care is staying with Dad now.
Anywho, she went into surgery at 6PM, and got out of surgery at around 8pm, and is doing fine. Just a bit on the groggy side. But lucid. I got off the phone with her a moment ago.
Me: I am on a news blackout. I can't handle the big zombie mutant apocalypse that wasn't right now.
Mother: I don't know I was finding it kind of fascinating and entertaining on the hospital television set. And it's probably entertaining your father.
Aunt K can come up - she left this morning, after getting a negative COVID test. She's on her way and told Mother that she could stay as long as they needed her. If they ended up in the rehab facility - she could go home and come back later, if need be. Aunt K will be there by tomorrow.
Bro and I tag-teamed. He got hold of the home health care aid coordinator and set up a direct release to the Rehab Facility if required, and home health care assistance for my Dad for tonight and tomorrow night - since my father cannot be left alone for any length of time. I called Aunt K and filled her in and asked if she could help. I also notified the rest of the family and asked for prayers and support. We talked to each other, and discussed best course of action going forward.
Bro spoke with surgeon who told him that it went fine, and she'll be discharged by Friday. Also arranged home health care for Dad through Friday, and pass for Aunt K, they are also working on an extended stay pass for her.
I'm exhausted. And frigging tired of this rollercoaster ride.
Last night?
ME: Mom broke her hip.
Bro: Fuck.
Me: Yep.
Bro: Dad is going to end up back in the Preston with Mom in the bed right next to him.
Me: Fuck. Maybe...not. Let's see. One day at a time.
He had mixed feelings about Aunt K coming up to help, but she did it before with no problems. I think he's feeling bad because he can't drive down.
After Mom called about going into the emergency room - I decided fuck this, I'm buying more alcohol.
And the Christmas Cookies (which I'd given up on) came last night. I have treats, alcohol, salad, etc to last at least month.
Sometime around 3:30, I gave up trying to focus on work - and went for a very chilly walk around Greenwood Cemetery - which closes at 5PM. It turns out at my pace - I can get there in less than fifteen minutes. Because I left at about 3:35 and get there close to 3:45. I did two miles in an hour and half, if that. I also took pictures. See?
I don't feel like talking about our nutty world at the moment. Woke up to a piece of good news - "Georgia Senate Race is going to Democrats - based largely on the the black voters in Atlanta."
Then the rest of the news went haywire. I was in a staff meeting on MS Teams, when we heard about the craziness in DC.
Boss: Everyone take a deep breath and exhale.
We did.
Boss: We all made it to 2021. This is an accomplishment. We should take a moment to appreciate this.
We did.
Boss: There's apparently protestors in DC as we speak...
One co-worker, Moscow Guy (he's from Moscow - hence Moscow Guy) - talked about how he traveled to Mexico. Boss and co-worker had a nifty chat about traveling to Mexico during a pandemic. And how cheap it was.
Moscow Guy: Travel is..well it has changed in a huge way. Nothing like before.
Boss: I'd like to pick your brain on that since I've made reservations for a trip to Mexico for my 60th Birthday in March.
Moscow Guy: Well the resorts we stayed in were really cheap. We couldn't have afforded it last year - but this year travel, plane flights, and some really cool resorts were so cheap. It was a deal.
I look up at the poker faces of the co-workers. I have my video off. And I'm sitting there thinking - my frigging mother is in surgery down in South Carolina. I can't go to help her, nor can my brother - and I couldn't visit at Christmas, and you guys are discussing travel to resorts in Mexico during a pandemic, and during a surge no less? Fuck this.
Meanwhile Gabe is furious that we don't get Juneteenth as a paid holiday next year, because not labor negotiated. (Yet we still get Columbus Day off. I told this to bro.)
Bro: That's because Cuomo is Italian.
Me: So too is the Union. But you'd think as Italians they'd want to hero worship and honor someone other than Columbus. I mean Columbus isn't exactly someone I'd want to be associated with - for one thing he got lost.
Bro (Laughs).
Me: A co-worker who is Italian and I snarked about it once. We had a snark-a-thon. Back and forth: he got lost. Then he committed genocide. And slavery. And he did it for Spain and Portugal, not even Italy. And he didn't know where he was.
I told Gabe, I was worried about so many other things...(it was kind of hard to care).
Also...I'm finding it hard to focus on things. I find my mind skipping over words. And I'm really trying to be kind. Trying to not be infected by the rage and hate that has infected our world. Each morning I do a loving kindness meditation. I also listened to and watched a video about a woman who mines opals in Queensland, Australia.
Tonight I watched Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist - it was beautiful. And spoke to me on so many levels. There's this great number in it... called... Carry On. It seemed to speak to me tonight. I hope maybe it speaks to someone else...and helps them as well.
All we can do is carry on.
[Thank you for all the kind and warm regards to my last post. Really appreciate it. Sorry wasn't able to respond to most if not all of them. Been insanely busy and unable to focus.]
Family
So, my mother went into the ER last night for a broken bone in her hip. She doesn't know which one. My mother has a high tolerance for pain - she was walking on that hip and doing stuff for two weeks, not knowing it was broken. [It runs in our family - it's most likely a genetic quirk. My Grandmother drove herself to the hospital with a broken arm. I walked back to the office and to the train station, up and down steps, to the curb to hail a cab, and up three flights of steps with a broken foot.] She managed to get two close friends to stay the night with my Dad - they followed the ambulance through the gate, and sweet talked their way into the house, because the entire place goes on automatic lock down the moment 9-1-1 is dialed. Home health care is staying with Dad now.
Anywho, she went into surgery at 6PM, and got out of surgery at around 8pm, and is doing fine. Just a bit on the groggy side. But lucid. I got off the phone with her a moment ago.
Me: I am on a news blackout. I can't handle the big zombie mutant apocalypse that wasn't right now.
Mother: I don't know I was finding it kind of fascinating and entertaining on the hospital television set. And it's probably entertaining your father.
Aunt K can come up - she left this morning, after getting a negative COVID test. She's on her way and told Mother that she could stay as long as they needed her. If they ended up in the rehab facility - she could go home and come back later, if need be. Aunt K will be there by tomorrow.
Bro and I tag-teamed. He got hold of the home health care aid coordinator and set up a direct release to the Rehab Facility if required, and home health care assistance for my Dad for tonight and tomorrow night - since my father cannot be left alone for any length of time. I called Aunt K and filled her in and asked if she could help. I also notified the rest of the family and asked for prayers and support. We talked to each other, and discussed best course of action going forward.
Bro spoke with surgeon who told him that it went fine, and she'll be discharged by Friday. Also arranged home health care for Dad through Friday, and pass for Aunt K, they are also working on an extended stay pass for her.
I'm exhausted. And frigging tired of this rollercoaster ride.
Last night?
ME: Mom broke her hip.
Bro: Fuck.
Me: Yep.
Bro: Dad is going to end up back in the Preston with Mom in the bed right next to him.
Me: Fuck. Maybe...not. Let's see. One day at a time.
He had mixed feelings about Aunt K coming up to help, but she did it before with no problems. I think he's feeling bad because he can't drive down.
After Mom called about going into the emergency room - I decided fuck this, I'm buying more alcohol.
And the Christmas Cookies (which I'd given up on) came last night. I have treats, alcohol, salad, etc to last at least month.
Sometime around 3:30, I gave up trying to focus on work - and went for a very chilly walk around Greenwood Cemetery - which closes at 5PM. It turns out at my pace - I can get there in less than fifteen minutes. Because I left at about 3:35 and get there close to 3:45. I did two miles in an hour and half, if that. I also took pictures. See?
I don't feel like talking about our nutty world at the moment. Woke up to a piece of good news - "Georgia Senate Race is going to Democrats - based largely on the the black voters in Atlanta."
Then the rest of the news went haywire. I was in a staff meeting on MS Teams, when we heard about the craziness in DC.
Boss: Everyone take a deep breath and exhale.
We did.
Boss: We all made it to 2021. This is an accomplishment. We should take a moment to appreciate this.
We did.
Boss: There's apparently protestors in DC as we speak...
One co-worker, Moscow Guy (he's from Moscow - hence Moscow Guy) - talked about how he traveled to Mexico. Boss and co-worker had a nifty chat about traveling to Mexico during a pandemic. And how cheap it was.
Moscow Guy: Travel is..well it has changed in a huge way. Nothing like before.
Boss: I'd like to pick your brain on that since I've made reservations for a trip to Mexico for my 60th Birthday in March.
Moscow Guy: Well the resorts we stayed in were really cheap. We couldn't have afforded it last year - but this year travel, plane flights, and some really cool resorts were so cheap. It was a deal.
I look up at the poker faces of the co-workers. I have my video off. And I'm sitting there thinking - my frigging mother is in surgery down in South Carolina. I can't go to help her, nor can my brother - and I couldn't visit at Christmas, and you guys are discussing travel to resorts in Mexico during a pandemic, and during a surge no less? Fuck this.
Meanwhile Gabe is furious that we don't get Juneteenth as a paid holiday next year, because not labor negotiated. (Yet we still get Columbus Day off. I told this to bro.)
Bro: That's because Cuomo is Italian.
Me: So too is the Union. But you'd think as Italians they'd want to hero worship and honor someone other than Columbus. I mean Columbus isn't exactly someone I'd want to be associated with - for one thing he got lost.
Bro (Laughs).
Me: A co-worker who is Italian and I snarked about it once. We had a snark-a-thon. Back and forth: he got lost. Then he committed genocide. And slavery. And he did it for Spain and Portugal, not even Italy. And he didn't know where he was.
I told Gabe, I was worried about so many other things...(it was kind of hard to care).
Also...I'm finding it hard to focus on things. I find my mind skipping over words. And I'm really trying to be kind. Trying to not be infected by the rage and hate that has infected our world. Each morning I do a loving kindness meditation. I also listened to and watched a video about a woman who mines opals in Queensland, Australia.
Tonight I watched Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist - it was beautiful. And spoke to me on so many levels. There's this great number in it... called... Carry On. It seemed to speak to me tonight. I hope maybe it speaks to someone else...and helps them as well.
All we can do is carry on.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-07 03:36 am (UTC)