Day #5 of year 2...
Mar. 22nd, 2021 05:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatDidn't make it very far in my walk today, but it is still a crystal blue sky day - no clouds, birds, and budding trees. In the low 60s, I think. It felt chilly when I verged out of the apartment complex for a bit. Exiting proved a bit of an obstacle course - since neighbor felt the need to block the hallway with a very large baby carriage. I resisted the temptation to knock it down the steps, and instead pushed it aside. When I returned - it's was gone and no one was in sight - thankfully. This is the neighbor who doesn't appear to think wearing a mask applies to him. Meanwhile I get mask edicts from Crazy Company constantly.
Flowers aren't quite in evidence yet - but they are there. And the trees are budding.
I was bored at work - I'm constantly waiting on things from folks. So I wandered about to read Justice League Movie Comparisons. White male film geeks are interesting - they don't pick up on some of the same things that I did, or many others did. Their focus appears to be on film aspect, color scheme, score, and plot mechanics. Mine - was on character development, character arcs, dialogue placement, and action sequences/interactions between characters. I really don't care if a film is light or dark that much - it's not number one in my requirements. If it was - I wouldn't watch half the television shows and films that I've watched over the years.
Also, one individual in response to Scalzi's post stated that comic book films should be colorful, and jaunty like comic books are - I thought, okay, you clearly haven't read a wide range of comics, have you? But chose stay quiet on this point.
Scalzi - who is allegedly a professional film reviewer and film geek - kind of disappointed me regarding his review of the film. To be fair, much like myself (and I suspect my brother), he'd forgotten Whedon's version of Justice League completely. (I did too, hence the rewatch of the first thirty minutes and comparison - and the reason I was so shocked by what I picked up on. I had to a degree picked up on it before - just not quite to the same extent.) Scalzi states that this film has nothing to do with film - and didn't get made for those reasons - it got released for other reasons, which he lists. I agree and disagree with him. There was a lot going on in regards to the Snydercut. Also, he ignores the elephant in the room - the pandemic.
This has a lot to do with the pandemic. We all don't want to look at that elephant in the room unless we have to.
Scalzi also misses a lot of things - because he doesn't remember the theaterical release. My opinion of the Snyder-cut changed after I compared it to the original theaterical release or Whedon cut. My opinion of Whedon and the WB, also changed, after I did that. Although, to be honest I wasn't exactly that favorable to them to begin with - but I had begun to give them the benefit of the doubt, and honestly thought I'd be disappointed in the Snyder-cut and think more favorably of Whedon. I went in with very low expectations, and was surprised. I had also gone in with very low expectations for Whedon's film. Then I forgot all of it.
Oh well, I should discuss this separately from my lockdown posts, shouldn't I? I'm horrible at organizing what I discuss in what post. It's not how I think. Hence the total of this blog - "Spontaneous Musings".
The above picture, assuming of course if you can see it? Is a favorite from yesterday - which I couldn't post yesterday.
Talked to mother - who has managed to get an appointment set up with another specialist in April, April 1 - let's hope that's okay. She has to go back to the other doctor's office to get a release form signed - so that they can release her information to the new doctor for a second opinion. Her primary is also putting together a referral. Mother is very confused - the doctor has in his notes that she shouldn't put weight on her leg, but he told her to put as much as she can stand. Mother kind of needs to walk a little bit to visit father at the long-term health facility. Apparently they had a very nice visit this afternoon - around 3:15, outside. They were supposed to do it at 1:45, but there was some confusion. They told mother she didn't have an appointment, then called her back and apologized - there was miscommunication. So she rescheduled for later in the day, and arranged for transportation over there.
Mother: Your father asked me to tell you that he enjoyed his conversations with you this morning and at twelve noon today.
ME: Okay, tell him he's welcome. [Pause] You know I didn't call him, right?
Mother: Of course. There's no way you could have called him - he has problems handling the phone. When I spoke with him, he wanted to set up a time to discuss our game plan, paperwork, and how we were going to transition...things. He's planning his retirement.
Me: The poor man's mind has gone back in time. Although he seems to be happy there. If you had him home he would drive you crazy.
Mother: Yes but...I really wish he were here.
Me: I know you miss him Mom, just not...
Mother: I miss the man he was.
Me: I know.
Mother: This is so painful and hard...
Me: For everyone, I know. I'm so sorry. (We think Dad has Lewy's syndrom, but we honestly don't know. It's dementia and it's advanced.) I read people online talking about their mother who died last year in their 80s, who was up and about, talkative, memory completely there - etc. And I thought, stop whining - be grateful you didn't have to watch them suffer through dementia.
Which I know is a horrible thing to think. I am sorry for their loss - but god..
Mother: The dementia is so painful...(she gets teary and her voice catches, and the tears fall down my face as well), first my father, then my mother, and now my husband...
ME: It's not fair, I know ...I'm sorry
Mother: I never thought we'd end this way. But I remember that we've lived a good life. We've traveled. We've done interesting things. A man called today to talk to your Dad - he'd just finished one of your Dad's books and wanted to tell him that he loved the book. It was the first book that your Dad wrote. I got to tell your father that today.
Life is painful for everyone. It's just different, you know? I try not to do the comparison game. But I keep falling into that trap. I saw on FB, a friend in Arizona had taken a private plane out to the Sedona desert and went hiking with a few friends, no one appeared to wearing masks in the photos, made me wonder if it was recent or from times past. Appears to be recent. I felt a smidgen of envy. And in Michelle Obama's book she mentions how Barack took off for four months to complete his book "Dreams of My Father" shortly after their honeymoon. He'd missed his previous deadline and had the book cancelled by the previous publisher, but his agent told him if he finished it - she could get him a new publisher no problem. Michelle states that he did this after he completed a get-out the vote campaign, was to start a part-time teaching job at the University of Chicago School of Law, and a junior associate position at a law firm. His mother found and rented a nice cabin for him, in the perfect place, Bali - over 7,000 miles away. I felt a stab of envy. Not only did Barack get a new book deal after his last book deal fell through, but he got to take four months off to finish it in a remote cabin on the beach in Bali.
Meanwhile, I'm sneaking time to write my novels after work, on subways, and trains, and during a pandemic - when my brain clears.
But...my friend Ames expressed her envy that my company got me vaccinated. (If she only knew.)
Life is not fair. At all. We're all on different journeys. It's like we are handed hand of cards when we're born. And we get certain challenges - meant specifically for us. Seemingly random. And from our perspective painful, and not always fair - but they are lessons, challenges, opportunities to learn from. And it's different for everyone. No one gets the same ones.
I like that idea. It calms me, and makes life easier somehow. The idea that we're all here to learn. And mistakes are kind of par for the course.
Flowers aren't quite in evidence yet - but they are there. And the trees are budding.
I was bored at work - I'm constantly waiting on things from folks. So I wandered about to read Justice League Movie Comparisons. White male film geeks are interesting - they don't pick up on some of the same things that I did, or many others did. Their focus appears to be on film aspect, color scheme, score, and plot mechanics. Mine - was on character development, character arcs, dialogue placement, and action sequences/interactions between characters. I really don't care if a film is light or dark that much - it's not number one in my requirements. If it was - I wouldn't watch half the television shows and films that I've watched over the years.
Also, one individual in response to Scalzi's post stated that comic book films should be colorful, and jaunty like comic books are - I thought, okay, you clearly haven't read a wide range of comics, have you? But chose stay quiet on this point.
Scalzi - who is allegedly a professional film reviewer and film geek - kind of disappointed me regarding his review of the film. To be fair, much like myself (and I suspect my brother), he'd forgotten Whedon's version of Justice League completely. (I did too, hence the rewatch of the first thirty minutes and comparison - and the reason I was so shocked by what I picked up on. I had to a degree picked up on it before - just not quite to the same extent.) Scalzi states that this film has nothing to do with film - and didn't get made for those reasons - it got released for other reasons, which he lists. I agree and disagree with him. There was a lot going on in regards to the Snydercut. Also, he ignores the elephant in the room - the pandemic.
This has a lot to do with the pandemic. We all don't want to look at that elephant in the room unless we have to.
Scalzi also misses a lot of things - because he doesn't remember the theaterical release. My opinion of the Snyder-cut changed after I compared it to the original theaterical release or Whedon cut. My opinion of Whedon and the WB, also changed, after I did that. Although, to be honest I wasn't exactly that favorable to them to begin with - but I had begun to give them the benefit of the doubt, and honestly thought I'd be disappointed in the Snyder-cut and think more favorably of Whedon. I went in with very low expectations, and was surprised. I had also gone in with very low expectations for Whedon's film. Then I forgot all of it.
Oh well, I should discuss this separately from my lockdown posts, shouldn't I? I'm horrible at organizing what I discuss in what post. It's not how I think. Hence the total of this blog - "Spontaneous Musings".
The above picture, assuming of course if you can see it? Is a favorite from yesterday - which I couldn't post yesterday.
Talked to mother - who has managed to get an appointment set up with another specialist in April, April 1 - let's hope that's okay. She has to go back to the other doctor's office to get a release form signed - so that they can release her information to the new doctor for a second opinion. Her primary is also putting together a referral. Mother is very confused - the doctor has in his notes that she shouldn't put weight on her leg, but he told her to put as much as she can stand. Mother kind of needs to walk a little bit to visit father at the long-term health facility. Apparently they had a very nice visit this afternoon - around 3:15, outside. They were supposed to do it at 1:45, but there was some confusion. They told mother she didn't have an appointment, then called her back and apologized - there was miscommunication. So she rescheduled for later in the day, and arranged for transportation over there.
Mother: Your father asked me to tell you that he enjoyed his conversations with you this morning and at twelve noon today.
ME: Okay, tell him he's welcome. [Pause] You know I didn't call him, right?
Mother: Of course. There's no way you could have called him - he has problems handling the phone. When I spoke with him, he wanted to set up a time to discuss our game plan, paperwork, and how we were going to transition...things. He's planning his retirement.
Me: The poor man's mind has gone back in time. Although he seems to be happy there. If you had him home he would drive you crazy.
Mother: Yes but...I really wish he were here.
Me: I know you miss him Mom, just not...
Mother: I miss the man he was.
Me: I know.
Mother: This is so painful and hard...
Me: For everyone, I know. I'm so sorry. (We think Dad has Lewy's syndrom, but we honestly don't know. It's dementia and it's advanced.) I read people online talking about their mother who died last year in their 80s, who was up and about, talkative, memory completely there - etc. And I thought, stop whining - be grateful you didn't have to watch them suffer through dementia.
Which I know is a horrible thing to think. I am sorry for their loss - but god..
Mother: The dementia is so painful...(she gets teary and her voice catches, and the tears fall down my face as well), first my father, then my mother, and now my husband...
ME: It's not fair, I know ...I'm sorry
Mother: I never thought we'd end this way. But I remember that we've lived a good life. We've traveled. We've done interesting things. A man called today to talk to your Dad - he'd just finished one of your Dad's books and wanted to tell him that he loved the book. It was the first book that your Dad wrote. I got to tell your father that today.
Life is painful for everyone. It's just different, you know? I try not to do the comparison game. But I keep falling into that trap. I saw on FB, a friend in Arizona had taken a private plane out to the Sedona desert and went hiking with a few friends, no one appeared to wearing masks in the photos, made me wonder if it was recent or from times past. Appears to be recent. I felt a smidgen of envy. And in Michelle Obama's book she mentions how Barack took off for four months to complete his book "Dreams of My Father" shortly after their honeymoon. He'd missed his previous deadline and had the book cancelled by the previous publisher, but his agent told him if he finished it - she could get him a new publisher no problem. Michelle states that he did this after he completed a get-out the vote campaign, was to start a part-time teaching job at the University of Chicago School of Law, and a junior associate position at a law firm. His mother found and rented a nice cabin for him, in the perfect place, Bali - over 7,000 miles away. I felt a stab of envy. Not only did Barack get a new book deal after his last book deal fell through, but he got to take four months off to finish it in a remote cabin on the beach in Bali.
Meanwhile, I'm sneaking time to write my novels after work, on subways, and trains, and during a pandemic - when my brain clears.
But...my friend Ames expressed her envy that my company got me vaccinated. (If she only knew.)
Life is not fair. At all. We're all on different journeys. It's like we are handed hand of cards when we're born. And we get certain challenges - meant specifically for us. Seemingly random. And from our perspective painful, and not always fair - but they are lessons, challenges, opportunities to learn from. And it's different for everyone. No one gets the same ones.
I like that idea. It calms me, and makes life easier somehow. The idea that we're all here to learn. And mistakes are kind of par for the course.