Year 2 - Day #51
May. 6th, 2021 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatI'd say lockdown - but we're not really locked down. It's kind of hard to fully lock down the United States for any lengthy period of time. The fact we were able to lock down at all - kind of surprised me.
Anyhow, I realized today that my difficulty with calling or talking to folks, is I don't really have much to say. Nor do I really want to know what they've been doing. I just want to talk about things I like to watch on television, what I think about this or that, and share photos of flowers, mostly flowers at any rate.
Decided to take a break from the noise of the world. The world is really noisy.
Mother: Well, yes, particularly if you are living in a city. It was noisy talking to your Dad outside the other day - a plane flew above us.
ME: No, I meant metaphorically noisy. Information noise. All the people telling me what to do, what I need to accomplish, what they've done, what they've accomplished, that I should have a significant other, or a family or this or that...
Mother: Oh yeah, there's a lot of that.
Me: Exactly. I decided to turn them and the brain off for a day. My headspace app said, if you don't like the state of your mind, take a break from trying to change it.
Also, finally, got in a walk. Considering I had to do laundry today - that was an accomplishment. I don't usually get in a walk on laundry day.
I went out of my way to take the below photo. Two people passed me, actually three on a narrow sidewalk, but I went back after they passed, and stood, and took the photo, anyhow. Why? I identified with the flower. (Well that, and I kind of was taken with it - I wanted to take it home and cuddle it. Which is impossible of course - it would die. So I took a picture instead.)
I told mother that people want me to do something with my photos.
Mother: what?
ME: make a book, frame them, get a better camera..
Mother: Why do people do this? Why do you have to do anything? Or have some end product for them to enjoy? Why can't take them and enjoy sharing them on social media?
Me: My thoughts exactly. I have no interest in doing much of anything with it.
Mother: I get it. You just like taking the photos and sharing them. If people like them great. If not, no problem.
Me: Exactly. I have no ambitions for grandeur. Besides it's a hell of a lot of work to publish a book of photos, or frame them, with little return. Why bother? Takes all the joy away from it.
See? This is why I talk to my mother twice a day, she gets me. Most people don't. It's aggravating but true. It's also why I'm still single.
The down side of taking photos of flowers - is I'm allergic. And sooner or later, my allergies catch up. Like right now. I was fine earlier, but all of a sudden my sinuses decided - wait we were out in the pollen - why aren't we wheezing, coughing and being all congested - must get on with that, pronto.
While it was sunny this morning, it was kind of overcast this afternoon.
After feeling a bit lost in regards to my work yesterday, I decided to check things out today - and figure out what was outstanding, and what was currently in the pipeline. Basically I wanted to know if I was behind on anything, owed anybody anything, and what was within my control. Apparently I'm not behind on anything at the moment. Other people are. And I'm more on top of my work load than I'd thought. I just don't have a lot of it - but this isn't on me - that's on the folks assigning the work to me. I have no control over what gets assigned to me or why.
Union was interesting. Remember in September, when I had to get Reasonable Accomodation, because the idiotic union was ordering us back into the work place? Well that's changed. Union got what it wanted from Crazy Org (a pay raise, and job security for all its representatives, so it's not fighting any longer on the whole telework from home bit). Now it tells us that the extension of the telework from home agreement to May 19 was to coincide with the economic re-opening of the State. (I think that's a bit ambitious of our leadership, but I've no say in these things.) Anyhow, they said - they can't tell us to go back to the office, that's up to our managers. A huge 180 turn from the fall, when they were ordering us back into the office, managers be damned. This year is definitely less anxiety inducing than last year - I'll say that much for it. (Outside of my parents that is - I'm constantly worried about them. So much so, that I really don't have the emotional space for much else at the moment.)
Mother informed me that I could probably drive if I put my mind to it. (I don't think she realizes that I've not driven in 25 years, and can no longer remember which foot to use for the break and gas. I think it is the right foot - since right side. But what pedal is which?) It's not the same as riding a bike. A bike is easier to figure out.
Speaking of bikes - this is why I am annoyed at the cyclists in my area, they insist on riding on the sidewalks.
I saw one poor woman walking with a cane, who had to get on the grass because of the dingbat cyclists. It's not permitted, but they do it anyhow.
In a bit of positive news...NY State now has 59% of adults with the first dose of the vaccine and over 46% with both doses. We're getting closer. And they are pulling out all the stops to convince folks to get vaccinated. A local mall in Albany is offering discounts, so too is Urban Wash in NYC. They've also decided to waive the patents on the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines, which were paid for by US taxpayer dollars - basically, the US federal government paid Pfizer and Moderna to develop the vaccines, they didn't do it on their own. So the federal government can make the decision to waive patents on the vaccines - to make it easier for other countries to duplicate them. [Oh, about 60-70% of Asian American Adults have been vaccinated - they are the highest racial demographic, with White Adults next at 49%. Black and Latinos are at the bottom. The Asians, have the folks who taught themselves to translate the vaccine information into Vietnamese and Cambodian - so that those immigrants, the largest Asian faction in the city, could get it.]
Also, if you get vaccinated - you can get a free ticket to a ball game. Assuming of course you've not gotten it already. Not that I want to go to a ball game - I didn't go before the pandemic. Oh, and it turns out I was wrong about Broadway - The Lion King, Wicked, and Hamilton all plan to re-open their shows in the fall. So musicals will come back along with plays.
They are trying to figure out how to do it - though, considering this is the longest Broadway has been shuttered, and they have never had to deal with a pandemic before now. The other difficulty is how does New York bring back the tourists? So they are doing small artist performances around the city.
And the Brooklyn Public Library remodeled its interior during the pandemic - so it's re-opening with all sorts of nifty changes.
***
The social justice arm of my church keeps talking about a Censorship Forum in emails. While, in the background, Trump has been banned from Facebook - they held up their ban, after Twitter chose to do it indefinitely - stating none of Trumps Twitter accounts would be accepted. Also Trump is now trending at the same rate he was long before he became President, or at that lower level. As President he was trending at 50 Million or more, now its more like 3.5 million if that. While the Republican Party is eating itself alive over him and their desire to destroy anyone who disagrees with them.
Watching their slow implosion is not quite as enjoyable as I'd expected. I keep wishing they'd hurry up and finish already. I'm impatient. I want them all gone.
Regarding Censorship - they want to discuss Cancel this Book - the Progressive Case Against Cancel Culture And, something or other by some conservative pundits who I've never heard of. I don't know, part of me just is kind of paralyzed with not caring all that much, the other part is intellectually intrigued.
The NY Times asked that subscribers share what they've done or seen that has brought them joy or helped them flourish in some small way. I decided to tell them about my walks around Greenwood Cemetery, taking photos. (I left out the part about how I don't have to wear a mask - since the Cemetery does require everyone wear masks all the time, it's just most of us take them off when no one is around or within shooting distance, and throw them back on when people are.)
Anyhow, I realized today that my difficulty with calling or talking to folks, is I don't really have much to say. Nor do I really want to know what they've been doing. I just want to talk about things I like to watch on television, what I think about this or that, and share photos of flowers, mostly flowers at any rate.
Decided to take a break from the noise of the world. The world is really noisy.
Mother: Well, yes, particularly if you are living in a city. It was noisy talking to your Dad outside the other day - a plane flew above us.
ME: No, I meant metaphorically noisy. Information noise. All the people telling me what to do, what I need to accomplish, what they've done, what they've accomplished, that I should have a significant other, or a family or this or that...
Mother: Oh yeah, there's a lot of that.
Me: Exactly. I decided to turn them and the brain off for a day. My headspace app said, if you don't like the state of your mind, take a break from trying to change it.
Also, finally, got in a walk. Considering I had to do laundry today - that was an accomplishment. I don't usually get in a walk on laundry day.
I went out of my way to take the below photo. Two people passed me, actually three on a narrow sidewalk, but I went back after they passed, and stood, and took the photo, anyhow. Why? I identified with the flower. (Well that, and I kind of was taken with it - I wanted to take it home and cuddle it. Which is impossible of course - it would die. So I took a picture instead.)
I told mother that people want me to do something with my photos.
Mother: what?
ME: make a book, frame them, get a better camera..
Mother: Why do people do this? Why do you have to do anything? Or have some end product for them to enjoy? Why can't take them and enjoy sharing them on social media?
Me: My thoughts exactly. I have no interest in doing much of anything with it.
Mother: I get it. You just like taking the photos and sharing them. If people like them great. If not, no problem.
Me: Exactly. I have no ambitions for grandeur. Besides it's a hell of a lot of work to publish a book of photos, or frame them, with little return. Why bother? Takes all the joy away from it.
See? This is why I talk to my mother twice a day, she gets me. Most people don't. It's aggravating but true. It's also why I'm still single.
The down side of taking photos of flowers - is I'm allergic. And sooner or later, my allergies catch up. Like right now. I was fine earlier, but all of a sudden my sinuses decided - wait we were out in the pollen - why aren't we wheezing, coughing and being all congested - must get on with that, pronto.
While it was sunny this morning, it was kind of overcast this afternoon.
After feeling a bit lost in regards to my work yesterday, I decided to check things out today - and figure out what was outstanding, and what was currently in the pipeline. Basically I wanted to know if I was behind on anything, owed anybody anything, and what was within my control. Apparently I'm not behind on anything at the moment. Other people are. And I'm more on top of my work load than I'd thought. I just don't have a lot of it - but this isn't on me - that's on the folks assigning the work to me. I have no control over what gets assigned to me or why.
Union was interesting. Remember in September, when I had to get Reasonable Accomodation, because the idiotic union was ordering us back into the work place? Well that's changed. Union got what it wanted from Crazy Org (a pay raise, and job security for all its representatives, so it's not fighting any longer on the whole telework from home bit). Now it tells us that the extension of the telework from home agreement to May 19 was to coincide with the economic re-opening of the State. (I think that's a bit ambitious of our leadership, but I've no say in these things.) Anyhow, they said - they can't tell us to go back to the office, that's up to our managers. A huge 180 turn from the fall, when they were ordering us back into the office, managers be damned. This year is definitely less anxiety inducing than last year - I'll say that much for it. (Outside of my parents that is - I'm constantly worried about them. So much so, that I really don't have the emotional space for much else at the moment.)
Mother informed me that I could probably drive if I put my mind to it. (I don't think she realizes that I've not driven in 25 years, and can no longer remember which foot to use for the break and gas. I think it is the right foot - since right side. But what pedal is which?) It's not the same as riding a bike. A bike is easier to figure out.
Speaking of bikes - this is why I am annoyed at the cyclists in my area, they insist on riding on the sidewalks.
I saw one poor woman walking with a cane, who had to get on the grass because of the dingbat cyclists. It's not permitted, but they do it anyhow.
In a bit of positive news...NY State now has 59% of adults with the first dose of the vaccine and over 46% with both doses. We're getting closer. And they are pulling out all the stops to convince folks to get vaccinated. A local mall in Albany is offering discounts, so too is Urban Wash in NYC. They've also decided to waive the patents on the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines, which were paid for by US taxpayer dollars - basically, the US federal government paid Pfizer and Moderna to develop the vaccines, they didn't do it on their own. So the federal government can make the decision to waive patents on the vaccines - to make it easier for other countries to duplicate them. [Oh, about 60-70% of Asian American Adults have been vaccinated - they are the highest racial demographic, with White Adults next at 49%. Black and Latinos are at the bottom. The Asians, have the folks who taught themselves to translate the vaccine information into Vietnamese and Cambodian - so that those immigrants, the largest Asian faction in the city, could get it.]
Also, if you get vaccinated - you can get a free ticket to a ball game. Assuming of course you've not gotten it already. Not that I want to go to a ball game - I didn't go before the pandemic. Oh, and it turns out I was wrong about Broadway - The Lion King, Wicked, and Hamilton all plan to re-open their shows in the fall. So musicals will come back along with plays.
They are trying to figure out how to do it - though, considering this is the longest Broadway has been shuttered, and they have never had to deal with a pandemic before now. The other difficulty is how does New York bring back the tourists? So they are doing small artist performances around the city.
And the Brooklyn Public Library remodeled its interior during the pandemic - so it's re-opening with all sorts of nifty changes.
***
The social justice arm of my church keeps talking about a Censorship Forum in emails. While, in the background, Trump has been banned from Facebook - they held up their ban, after Twitter chose to do it indefinitely - stating none of Trumps Twitter accounts would be accepted. Also Trump is now trending at the same rate he was long before he became President, or at that lower level. As President he was trending at 50 Million or more, now its more like 3.5 million if that. While the Republican Party is eating itself alive over him and their desire to destroy anyone who disagrees with them.
Watching their slow implosion is not quite as enjoyable as I'd expected. I keep wishing they'd hurry up and finish already. I'm impatient. I want them all gone.
Regarding Censorship - they want to discuss Cancel this Book - the Progressive Case Against Cancel Culture And, something or other by some conservative pundits who I've never heard of. I don't know, part of me just is kind of paralyzed with not caring all that much, the other part is intellectually intrigued.
The NY Times asked that subscribers share what they've done or seen that has brought them joy or helped them flourish in some small way. I decided to tell them about my walks around Greenwood Cemetery, taking photos. (I left out the part about how I don't have to wear a mask - since the Cemetery does require everyone wear masks all the time, it's just most of us take them off when no one is around or within shooting distance, and throw them back on when people are.)
no subject
Date: 2021-05-07 04:03 am (UTC)Even if they regain the House next year, I expect the Republicans to be in some trouble for quite some time, especially if the Democrats retain some cohesion. Maybe the GOP could gain more voters, like they could try to hold on to and attract more of the Latinos in the South, who tend to be more right wing than those at your end, but winning's not an easy task and gets harder the more they hold fast to Trump and alienate many of the customers of their traditional corporate donors. Still, there are a ton of people (among them, deluded xenophobes, sigh) who will vote for them faithfully enough to keep them a significant force, maybe even enough for the party to not be defeated badly enough to constructively reinvent itself, that I don't think we get to watch them, especially their lunatic fringe, quickly implode and go away, alack, it'll take many years. That's just my impression, anyway.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-07 12:15 pm (UTC)And add to that - we have a Voting Rights Act, that may or may not get passed. Part of the problem is the Democrats aren't quite as cohesive as you may think - there's friction or a bit of a struggle between the progressives and the moderates. And even within the moderates and progressives themselves. The reason the Republicans got as far as they did was partly that - and the games the Republicans have been playing with gerrymandering and voting in their states.
But it won't happen over night. It's going to take a while.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-07 12:36 pm (UTC)I'm hopeful also about the Voting Rights Act, what I fear there is the Supreme Court inventing excuses to gut it. Reform there is possible but a far harder sell and not to be taken lightly.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-07 01:09 pm (UTC)The Democrats look really cohesive and good in comparison to the Republicans, but then most any group does. The Republican Party is imploding - we have huge splits. There's the group of Republicans who've fled to the Democrat Party (hence the reason it now has a moderate conservative faction and that faction gets along better with the Progressives than the insane right wing Trump nitwits in its previous party - hence the fleeing. That's the group that got Biden elected.) There's the Corporate or the Money/Business branch (which is threatening to flee - and take its millions with it - basically Wall Street), that group hasn't left yet - it's hanging in there by a thread. That's the group behind Liz Cheney. Then there's the lunatic fringe which is causing all of this - and is being investigated as we speak as a terrorist organization. (The problem? A good percentage of that group is former military or current military and police. Apparently those organizations attract sociopathic nitwits or create them. Which is another problem.)
All of the above - is the reason that I'm kind of keeping a wary on it, but not paying close attention. (My blood pressure can't take it. So I've had to pull back. But, if it goes South, I want to know - so I can flee North to my brother, and from there to Canada.)
no subject
Date: 2021-05-07 08:57 am (UTC)Which, interestingly, doe allow me to offer some sympathy for the bicyclists who ride on the sidewalks. I've wanted to get a bike and start riding again for years now (it's not in the budget, and still isn't), but nowadays when I'm out driving anytime but very early morning or late evening, I think, am I nuts?
It has been my observation since I was in my 20's and still rode bike that many drivers hate bicycles, and go out of their way to terrorize them, such as by swooping past at high rates of speed, cursing at them, honking while up close to startle them, what have you. While the city has been doing what it can in recent years to make things more bike friendly, it's an old town with many many narrow streets and roads and nothing the city does will change the driver attitudes just mentioned.
So, do I have a death wish? I do not. Therefore I can see why plain old fear would make someone want to stay off the roads as much as possible when they bike. Note that this does not mean you should not always yield to pedestrians, and courteously, and certainly bike on the streets and roads if there are bike lanes or other means to do so safely.
*******
Re: books and photos and such. People suggest things because they like your work, and assume (rightly, I think) that others would like it also. You are absolutely right in doing with your work what pleases you, but I'm not sure as reading it as folks being insistent you do something more than enjoy your hobby.
I greatly enjoy my photography hobby (yeah, you already guessed that, right?) largely because I can't paint or draw or sculpt, and so it's my only way of any real personal artistic expression. For me, making a print and, ideally, framing it is like taking raw clay and a wheel and some tools and ending up with a finished, fired piece of pottery. There is satisfaction for me in the whole process.
However, when I show a picture to someone else, and their eyes light up, and I get an "Ohh, how cool!!" or somesuch out of them, that's like it's becoming something that transcends just my brain and stirs something positive in someone else's. That's a rewarding feeling for me.
But, that's me. If just sharing your pics online is rewarding for you, makes you feel good, there's nothing wrong with that. You're you. My only (practical) concern might be as to copyright-- that someone could take your images and try to sell them or otherwise utilize them commercially and not credit the true source.
Anyway, keep 'em comin'! They brighten my day, for sure. :-)
no subject
Date: 2021-05-07 12:33 pm (UTC)Anyhow the plus side of having a background in copyright infringement law - is I don't worry about that stuff at all. It's not as easy to do as it looks or as profitable.
But, I don't care either. I like taking photos and sharing them on social media, and getting likes. That's it.
I don't really need to prove anything or accomplish anything from it. But I've been painting and drawing since I was six years of age. Took watercoloring course with my Dad and brother when I was 14. And was doing ceramics in high school and college, also briefly when I moved to NYC. I have several bowls and cups, as do my parents, that I created.
And I come from a family of artists. There's almost nothing on my walls but a photo of a sunset. And my brother is kind of similar. He doesn't put his art on the walls, just his daughter's and some famous designer's work. We do have have drawings on our parents walls, and my father's watercolors. My brother can pretty much draw anything, as can his wife and daughter. And my sister-in-law has published two coffee table craft books with lots of photos. You think my photography is excellent? You should see my niece and sister in law's photos, not to mention my brother's. Sis-in-law and bro were photography majors and film majors, who got bored and shifted to conceptual art, then graphic art. (You don't make much money in photography and film - there's a lot competition in that.) My brother, his wife, and daughter have professional cameras, and have taken courses.
Add to that? My sisinlaw's father is a professional photographer/performance artist whose brother was an indie/cult filmmaker.
Then there's my Aunt who is a professional artist.
I don't tend to look at art or artistic accomplishment the same way you do - I guess? It just doesn't matter to me. I'm surrounded by artists. We just take pictures and share it on social media. None of us really frame them or make them into books. Nor are we worried about people stealing them. The picture of my niece and the cats? That was a selfie that my niece took of herself and sent to me.
Bikes
Date: 2021-05-07 01:25 pm (UTC)but nowadays when I'm out driving anytime but very early morning or late evening, I think, am I nuts?
It has been my observation since I was in my 20's and still rode bike that many drivers hate bicycles, and go out of their way to terrorize them, such as by swooping past at high rates of speed, cursing at them, honking while up close to startle them, what have you. While the city has been doing what it can in recent years to make things more bike friendly, it's an old town with many many narrow streets and roads and nothing the city does will change the driver attitudes just mentioned.
So, do I have a death wish? I do not.
Yep. That's why. Actually it's why I don't want to drive either, or get in a car or bus, and much prefer walking, subways and trains. Less dangerous.
You think your area is bad...we've had a lot of cyclists killed. Every once and a while, I'll pass a makeshift memorial to one of them. Although the way some of them cycle - I think it may have been a Darwin Award in the making.
There's citibikes now - where you can rent a bike for about 30-45 minutes for $15. More is added the longer you ride. I've not figured it out yet. They just popped up in my area - and a lot of them have - much to the joy and considerable chagrin of the residents. The car people hate them, those without cars are actually happy about it. While there's a middle group that is largely ambivalent. There are bike lanes, and a median bike path in my area. Also a park with lots of bike lanes. But the nitwit cyclists feel a need to drive on sidewalks anyhow, and regardless. But they also do it where there are no bike lanes, and there really aren't any in front of the Cemetery. You can't ride bikes in the Cemetery, much to the annoyance of the cyclists. (But they are smart to do that - because people like to break the rules - and would ride on the cobblestone paths, etc, claiming the danger of the roads with the cars. (They aren't, there's hardly any cars in that cemetery. I can go an hour or more without seeing one, or just seeing them parked along the side.))
Anyhow, the reason I've not taken up bike riding - is two-fold, bad lower back, and fear. Despite what it may appear...I really do not have a death wish.