Year 2 - Day 118...Working Remotely
Jul. 14th, 2021 05:24 pmBack in the office tomorrow. And I'm this-close to smacking new organization upside the head. Crazy Org decided after 180 some years of operating as separate agencies, to merge everyone into one agency - and to top it off - during a pandemic no less. Actually it wasn't Crazy Org who came up with this stellar idea - it was the NY Legislature and the Governor, along with a dingbat consulting firm.
Sometimes I wish I was a witch or had magical powers - so I could curse the bejeesus out of them. But alas, no. Just rage impotently in my apartment, then raise hands in surrender and give up.
I could leave Crazy Org of course, and yes, I've thought about it. But it would mean giving up quite a few necessary benefits, plus my raise comes through next month, along with two years and eight months of back pay.
And I'm older and I require my health insurance to stay put. It is actually a lot harder to quit a job than stick with it - at a certain point in one's life. And no, this is not a job that works well as "independent contractor" or "entrepreneur" nor do I have the personality type to run my own business. (I figured that out fifteen years ago. If I did, I'd have done it already.)
When one complains about their job - folks are quick with the advice. It's not really advice though - it's basically what "they" think they would do in the given situation. Not what would work best for that individual but what worked best for them. Forgetting the old axiom - that often what works best for one person, really really doesn't for another. But for some reason - a lot of folks don't quite get that? Not everyone has occupational or vocational skills that are easily transferable. Also, not everyone interviews well.
I've learned not to tell folks what to do or give advice in this regard. I'll ask questions. But, I try to back away from it. Or I'll give support or commiserate.
Everyone is different, with different needs. Some like houses with rose gardens. Some prefer to live in a 3rd floor apartment in a major city, look out at trees, and visit the rose gardens.
***
Yeah, I don't feel like complaining about my job tonight. After I wrote all that, just the idea of doing so - made me feel tired. Also I vented enough about it today to my empty apartment and my mother on the phone.
Mother is tired. She told me today that she'd be perfectly happy if death was just an ending. No afterlife. Nothing. You just stop. Kind of like being put out for surgery. No thought. No feelings. Just stop. The whole idea of an afterlife sounds rather exhausting to her. I can't help but agree. I'm tired too apparently. The whole immortality thing isn't something either of us are interested in. I guess it would be nice - if you were physically fit, had no health issues, and didn't age. But being a vampire - is not at all appealing - I don't like blood that much, or killing things, or going without sunlight. I'd also miss garlic.
***
Back in the office tomorrow - which is a good thing - since I need to print off stuff. The design project that I was kind of hoping would evaporate, ricocheted back to me like a bloody boomerang, complete with various complications and annoyances. I need to print it off to figure it out. And it would kill my little home printer. [It's about 100-200 pages.]
BYT Manager is also in the office tomorrow - but at least Boss is waiting until Friday to pop in. If I had to choose between them, I'd pick BYT. BYT was complaining about how the weather had killed her roses. Apparently roses prefer a slightly cooler and far less humid climate. It's been a tad on the tropical side this year. (Last year was dryer and cooler - I know because the roses thrived last year.)
***
Fandom
Regardless of the fandom that I happen to be in...we end up, eventually, with the following interactions..
Poster: (Fill in blank - Mob Hit Man, Vampire, Werewolf, Assassin, Batman, Superman, etc..) and Doctor should be together! They have hot sex! He deserves happiness and she would be happier with him!
ME: Actually I think she'd be better off the (Fill in the blank - Corporate Wheeler Dealer).
Poster: No, Corporate Wheeler Dealer is a blackmailer, and a player.
Me: Well, to be fair - so is she.
Poster: Mob hit man will be good for her, he will bring out the good side, and they'll be happy.
Me: You do realize that you are comparing a corporate wheeler dealer to a mob hit man, right? I mean he is a mafia hit man who kills people for a living, not exactly good boyfriend material. While the Corporate Wheeler Dealer - may have blackmailed someone once, he's not killed anyone, and is unlikely to wind up dead or in prison for murder, or getting the doctor killed.
Poster: Here's a detailed analysis of the family connections in the show, and the inheritance of shares.
S: Some people take this show entirely too seriously.
Me: You've been on this board how long? And you're just now figuring that out?
I swear I have seen variations of these conversations in every single fandom.
***
I'm not liking the changes this year. But alas, what can one do but go with the flow and surf the waves as best they can? Boss told me today when I was laughing at Crazy Org - that I had the right idea - to laugh at it. He quote Joni Mitchell of all people - " As Joni Mitchell would say, either cry or laugh - both are an excellent release." Laughter is better.
I knew these changes were coming - because hello, watershed years. Also all the signs were in place as early as 2017. And I knew 2020 and 2021 were going to be hard years for me. But sigh. Co-workers feel somewhat the same - they are also trying to navigate all the changes.
I don't feel like looking at the news. I'm taking a media break for my own continued mental health. I'm sure someone will tell me if something major happens.

Sometimes I wish I was a witch or had magical powers - so I could curse the bejeesus out of them. But alas, no. Just rage impotently in my apartment, then raise hands in surrender and give up.
I could leave Crazy Org of course, and yes, I've thought about it. But it would mean giving up quite a few necessary benefits, plus my raise comes through next month, along with two years and eight months of back pay.
And I'm older and I require my health insurance to stay put. It is actually a lot harder to quit a job than stick with it - at a certain point in one's life. And no, this is not a job that works well as "independent contractor" or "entrepreneur" nor do I have the personality type to run my own business. (I figured that out fifteen years ago. If I did, I'd have done it already.)
When one complains about their job - folks are quick with the advice. It's not really advice though - it's basically what "they" think they would do in the given situation. Not what would work best for that individual but what worked best for them. Forgetting the old axiom - that often what works best for one person, really really doesn't for another. But for some reason - a lot of folks don't quite get that? Not everyone has occupational or vocational skills that are easily transferable. Also, not everyone interviews well.
I've learned not to tell folks what to do or give advice in this regard. I'll ask questions. But, I try to back away from it. Or I'll give support or commiserate.
Everyone is different, with different needs. Some like houses with rose gardens. Some prefer to live in a 3rd floor apartment in a major city, look out at trees, and visit the rose gardens.
***
Yeah, I don't feel like complaining about my job tonight. After I wrote all that, just the idea of doing so - made me feel tired. Also I vented enough about it today to my empty apartment and my mother on the phone.
Mother is tired. She told me today that she'd be perfectly happy if death was just an ending. No afterlife. Nothing. You just stop. Kind of like being put out for surgery. No thought. No feelings. Just stop. The whole idea of an afterlife sounds rather exhausting to her. I can't help but agree. I'm tired too apparently. The whole immortality thing isn't something either of us are interested in. I guess it would be nice - if you were physically fit, had no health issues, and didn't age. But being a vampire - is not at all appealing - I don't like blood that much, or killing things, or going without sunlight. I'd also miss garlic.
***
Back in the office tomorrow - which is a good thing - since I need to print off stuff. The design project that I was kind of hoping would evaporate, ricocheted back to me like a bloody boomerang, complete with various complications and annoyances. I need to print it off to figure it out. And it would kill my little home printer. [It's about 100-200 pages.]
BYT Manager is also in the office tomorrow - but at least Boss is waiting until Friday to pop in. If I had to choose between them, I'd pick BYT. BYT was complaining about how the weather had killed her roses. Apparently roses prefer a slightly cooler and far less humid climate. It's been a tad on the tropical side this year. (Last year was dryer and cooler - I know because the roses thrived last year.)
***
Fandom
Regardless of the fandom that I happen to be in...we end up, eventually, with the following interactions..
Poster: (Fill in blank - Mob Hit Man, Vampire, Werewolf, Assassin, Batman, Superman, etc..) and Doctor should be together! They have hot sex! He deserves happiness and she would be happier with him!
ME: Actually I think she'd be better off the (Fill in the blank - Corporate Wheeler Dealer).
Poster: No, Corporate Wheeler Dealer is a blackmailer, and a player.
Me: Well, to be fair - so is she.
Poster: Mob hit man will be good for her, he will bring out the good side, and they'll be happy.
Me: You do realize that you are comparing a corporate wheeler dealer to a mob hit man, right? I mean he is a mafia hit man who kills people for a living, not exactly good boyfriend material. While the Corporate Wheeler Dealer - may have blackmailed someone once, he's not killed anyone, and is unlikely to wind up dead or in prison for murder, or getting the doctor killed.
Poster: Here's a detailed analysis of the family connections in the show, and the inheritance of shares.
S: Some people take this show entirely too seriously.
Me: You've been on this board how long? And you're just now figuring that out?
I swear I have seen variations of these conversations in every single fandom.
***
I'm not liking the changes this year. But alas, what can one do but go with the flow and surf the waves as best they can? Boss told me today when I was laughing at Crazy Org - that I had the right idea - to laugh at it. He quote Joni Mitchell of all people - " As Joni Mitchell would say, either cry or laugh - both are an excellent release." Laughter is better.
I knew these changes were coming - because hello, watershed years. Also all the signs were in place as early as 2017. And I knew 2020 and 2021 were going to be hard years for me. But sigh. Co-workers feel somewhat the same - they are also trying to navigate all the changes.
I don't feel like looking at the news. I'm taking a media break for my own continued mental health. I'm sure someone will tell me if something major happens.

no subject
Date: 2021-07-14 11:20 pm (UTC)Yeah, also what you'd described of pension arrangements and whatnot are, well, quite a particular situation that is a significant incentive to stay.
Still, vampires might still get to enjoy garlic, depending on how much of the myth is disinformation they've planted to make us more defenseless when it matters.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-15 07:10 am (UTC)LOL!!
no subject
Date: 2021-07-15 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 02:49 am (UTC)I'm guessing it depends on which vampire mythos you go by? If Discovery of Witches - garlic and sunlight aren't an issue. But I really don't like the blood and gore thing - bleargh.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-16 07:08 am (UTC)And it's a very good thing that you know that, because many people do not understand that they simply do not have the right stuff to run their own business. As examples, my sister can do it (and she was quite good at it), I can do it, and at this point in my life it's the most practical thing for me, but my preference if it was available is to work alongside other (compatible) people in a small business (small being defined as perhaps a dozen people or less). I like the interaction, I get along well with most customers, and know how to properly handle nearly all the more annoying ones.
My sister's husband, though, is extremely unsuited for such, especially any kind of retail work like the greenhouse business my sister had. I won't go into details, but my sister tried her best to keep him at his regular factory job and away from her work. He's not a stupid or lazy man, he's just... not good with the general public and tends to be disorganized. It's just not his nature. He was good at his production or maintenance factory jobs.
Over the course of my now 50+ years work life, a number of people have told me that "with your talents, you should be working for... (plug in name of some bigass company), you aren't getting paid enough / perks enough."
I agreed that the money/perks would be nice, but a big company still means you're usually a little cog in a big machine. I'd rather be a significant cog in a smaller machine.
Money does help though. Hey, I'm eccentric, not crazy! ;-)
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 03:50 pm (UTC)My brother is a farmer or gardener, and he can't work under a boss. He can consult for others and has. [The truth of the matter - as stated in Bob Dylan's song - you will work for somebody, or answer to someone, regardless of what you do in your life. Whether it is your customers, clients, an audience or just the bank. ] My sis-inlaw hates farming and is a city girl - she is a designer - so she designs clothes and textiles, cuts out the patterns and has someone else sew them.
Neither like working "under" a boss. They do however work for others - she sells clothing to clients, and he does consulting work.
I don't mind having a boss - because it gives me some sort of order and discipline. Also I don't like making all the decisions, and prefer not taking on all the responsibility. And like to have a schedule, work with others in a team setting, bang ideas off of them, and get other perspectives.
I couldn't handle a factory job - I don't like repetitive work or routine work. Also I don't like people supervising me constantly or telling me what to do all the time. I don't like being ordered around. And I don't like working with my hands in that way. I've actually done factory work - did it one summer, worked in a clothing packaging plant, in the heat with a just a fan.
It helped me appreciate people who do that better, and understand how they think. Routine work tends to bore me rather quickly.
I like analyzing things and writing. Also written communication or finding better ways to communicate my ideas and others ideas to each other.
And I like a team approach or team environment.
And enjoy the accomplishment of building something that helps others. Contributing to infrastructure of a city or place. It's very important to me to do something that contributes in an active way to the world or place in which I live. And I do that in a constructive and viable way.
I know myself well - and I have to remind myself at times, because the world is very busy at trying to tell me otherwise. Do this. Do that. It says. And I'm learning through meditation how to block it out. It's not always kind with its unwanted advice.